Divorce, now what?

[Singleminnie]

I have come to the conclusion that I am ready to proceed with my divorce. I am now looking for an atty. Does anyone know how much I should expect to pay? I have three children, and do not expect to receive any payments other than child support?

I haven't told my husband or my children yet, I was waiting until the holidays were over, including my husband's birthday (the day after Christmas). I have sought counseling already and met with one attorney. I have even gone out and looked for an apartment, because there is no way I can keep up the house payments with my salary and child support alone.

If anyone has any words of support, I would appreciate it. I have talke with my friends and they have been very encouraging.

 

[shortbun]

Good luck to you and any husbands on this board to whom you might be married. You seem to have everything organized.

 

[frisco]

Confused....

You haven't told your family but your signature says "Newly single mother and loving it".

 

[Singleminnie]

Sorry, I put that there because I feel like a weight has been lifted in finally making that decision.

 

[Bluestars]

I'm sorry. Divorce is such a difficult thing to go through. I have been there and done that. I know it is very depressing, but there will come a day when you will be happy again.

The cost depends on a lot of things. My ex and I agreed on everything, so ours was very inexpensive. A coworker of mine has spent thousands of dollars though because she and her husband can't agree on anything. Also, my divorce was final right after the waiting period, whereas hers has been going on for over a year now.

My mother got a divorce from my father. She was in her early 20s with three young children. She later got her masters degree and has been remarried to a great person for 40 years.

There is life after divorce. Good luck with everything. It sounds like you are handling things very well.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Is this Tigger and Belle?

 

[frisco]

Sorry, I put that there because I feel like a weight has been lifted in finally making that decision.

No, don't apologize, I was just kind of confused.

 

[Singleminnie]

I'm sorry. Divorce is such a difficult thing to go through. I have been there and done that. I know it is very depressing, but there will come a day when you will be happy again.

The cost depends on a lot of things. My ex and I agreed on everything, so ours was very inexpensive. A coworker of mine has spent thousands of dollars though because she and her husband can't agree on anything. Also, my divorce was final right after the waiting period, whereas hers has been going on for over a year now.

My mother got a divorce from my father. She was in her early 20s with three young children. She later got her masters degree and has been remarried to a great person for 40 years.

There is life after divorce. Good luck with everything. It sounds like you are handling things very well.

Thanks so much for the encouragement, I too hope we can come to mutual agreements. I do not wish for a messy divorce.

FYI, I changed my signature because I guess leagally I am not single yet.

No this is not Tigger and Belle.

 

[Christine]

Is this Tigger and Belle?

Not by the looks of the picture.

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

It depends. If you think you and your DH can agree to the terms without trying to kill each other then you might just be able to go through a mediator. If things are going to get ugly then so will the fees.

My mom went through a divorce about 5 years ago and her attorney was very inexpensive. Mom didn't have money for legal fees. After all was said and done she was assigned a pittance of child support which she didn't receive half the time. At one point there was a clause mandating that my father would be required to maintain a life insurance policy of not less than "X" amount, naming my sister as beneficiary because she is still a minor. Mom didn't realize that clause was taken out before the final draft. My father died in 2006 and he had about 1/10 of the insurance he was supposed to have. It is a disaster.

A really outstanding divorce attorney can cost $500 per hour. Obviously, not everyone will need an attorney that costs that much. It just depends on how many assets there are to fight over and how ugly the custody battle becomes.

Good luck!

 

[Christine]

OP, have you thought of divorce mediation? I don't know much about it but have heard that it can be cheaper and much more amicable if both partners are willing.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

No this is not Tigger and Belle.

Oh, OK. I know she is/was in a similiar situation. Now that I think about it I think she already is going thru with things.

I know you "are happy" but your kids are going to be crushed.

I would leave the "glee" aside for awhile. My nephews suffered when my brother split up. It was so sad to watch.

 

[Disney Doll]

Get your financial house in order.

Make sure you know where all your money is...retirement, savings, make copies of your past tax returns, print out credit card statements so you'll know what you had and when.

I don't know what you r husband's reaction willl be to this news, but prepare for the worst as far as his cooperation is concerned. That way, if it an agreeable divorce, you'll be pleasantly surprised. If it's not an agreeable divorce, you'll be prepared.

 

[czycropper]

Before leaving the home, please check with an attorney because depending on the laws of your state that may be a mistake!

I'm the ex-director of a bar association and you wouldn't believe how many calls we used to get for divorce attorneys! Divorces can very costly if the parties don't agree on the terms (ie.child support, selling of the home, visitation terms) or not as costly if they do and it can still take a while depending on your state laws.

Please remember that you will need to meet with a couple of attorneys to get someone you feel comfortable with and has your best interests in mind. The best place to start is asking for referrals from friends or call your local bar association. For an attorney to be put on the referral list for a bar association they have to have a minimum years of practice (in ours it was 5-7) and they have to be approved by a committee. Also, make sure that you have a retainer agreement that specifies all costs involved (court costs, hourly rate, expenses, etc.).

Also, take into account that the kids may have court mandated reviews. One of my best friends has three kids (ages 8, 10, & 11) and even though their divorce was amicable the Judge still required for the kids to be evaluated by a court-appointed representative before he made the visitation schedule final because he wanted the best interests of the kids.

 

[Bonnie40]

I have come to the conclusion that I am ready to proceed with my divorce. I am now looking for an atty. Does anyone know how much I should expect to pay? I have three children, and do not expect to receive any payments other than child support?

I haven't told my husband or my children yet, I was waiting until the holidays were over, including my husband's birthday (the day after Christmas). I have sought counseling already and met with one attorney. I have even gone out and looked for an apartment, because there is no way I can keep up the house payments with my salary and child support alone.
If anyone has any words of support, I would appreciate it. I have talke with my friends and they have been very encouraging.

Mediation would certainly be the best scenario, but is this decision going to be a surprise to your husband? If so, I can't imagine mediation being successful. You state that you're already looking for an apartment...are your children staying with your husband? Why would you be paying child support? I certainly wouldn't leave the house before getting solid legal advice!

 

[Bonnie40]

OP...my apologies...I reread your post and now see that you're saying you wouldn't be able to keep up house payments with what you earn as well as the child support your husband would be paying...Duh! Sorry!

 

[PaulaSB12]

I have come to the conclusion that I am ready to proceed with my divorce. I am now looking for an atty. Does anyone know how much I should expect to pay? I have three children, and do not expect to receive any payments other than child support?

I haven't told my husband or my children yet, I was waiting until the holidays were over, including my husband's birthday (the day after Christmas). I have sought counseling already and met with one attorney. I have even gone out and looked for an apartment, because there is no way I can keep up the house payments with my salary and child support alone.

If anyone has any words of support, I would appreciate it. I have talke with my friends and they have been very encouraging.

Why is your marriage not worth saving? You say you haven't mentioned this to your husband and children? If this is the case surely the best thing would be for you to leave your children to stay with their father if you are the one that is unhappy before you throw their lives up in the air.

 

[NY Disney fan]

Why is your marriage not worth saving? You say you haven't mentioned this to your husband and children? If this is the case surely the best thing would be for you to leave your children to stay with their father if you are the one that is unhappy before you throw their lives up in the air.

You shouldn't judge until you know this person's situation.

 

[Bluestars]

You shouldn't judge until you know this person's situation.

I agree. Maybe he cheated on her or is using illegal drugs or something like that. There are many reasons I can see where I would not be interested in "working it out." Lying, cheating, stealing, and using illegal drugs are a few of those reasons.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Is this Tigger and Belle?

Whoa...imagine my surprise to click on this thread and find this...