divorce after age 40???

[powellrj]

I was watching the Food Network last night and they had the Paula Deen story on. She was divorced after 26 years of marriage when she was in her mid 40's and had to support herself.

While thats an extreme example of success, you are still really young and can find a whole new life for yourself! She ended the show by saying love is better the second time around!

GOOD LUCK!

 

[Eeyore'sthebest]

My DSis recently went through this and she's in her early 40s. Last January he announced he was unhappy and moved out. The divorce was final in October. She got herself a good attorney and worked with them. Protect your children and yourself. There are definitely rough patches but my DSis is so much happier now without him.

Best of luck with everything.

 

[slo]

Hugs to you mtemm

I have no advice to give, I just wanted to let you know that all your DIS friends are here for you

 

[mtemm]

thanks all. seriously, I just don't know how I'm going to do this. I don't. my life has been completely upturned and I just want to wake up from a horrible nightmare.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

thanks all. seriously, I just don't know how I'm going to do this. I don't. my life has been completely upturned and I just want to wake up from a horrible nightmare.

 

[annegal]

My new part time co-worked's DH left her a few months ago-affair with woman he works with. She is 59 -kids grown-and pretty much always a housewife, played tennis, had lunch with friends, only had a few jobs here and there, no skills etc.

She makes peanuts working for us, but it keeps her busy during this hard time. Right now she has no means to keep the house (he's living with her) and that's her big worry.

to you

 

[disneynutt1225]

thanks all. seriously, I just don't know how I'm going to do this. I don't. my life has been completely upturned and I just want to wake up from a horrible nightmare.

My MIL and FIL got divorced a couple of years ago, in their late forties. The kids were grown, so I think that made it "easier". I have to say, I've never seen my FIL as happy as he is now (the divorce was not his idea and he was devastated in the beginning).

You will get through it. Though I'm sure everything is up in the air right now, things will slowly fall into place. Stay strong.

 

[mrsheppo]

I was 35 when my ex left me with 4 kids ranging in age from 5-10. I was scared to death, but life did go on. My kids were my priority, I worked hard to support them and keep a roof over our heads. I was even able to save up enough money to take them on their first trip to DL. After 5 years of being single and not really ever dating, I basically gave up looking for anyone. One day though, a very special man came into my life and my children's life. He readily accepted my family and was everthing I had ever hoped for. We have been married 9 years now. We got married when I was 40 and he was 50.

 

[clm3]

I know how you feel. I was 28 and pregnant when DH said he wanted out. I didn't know what I would do. After many sad and lonely nights I realized I was SO much better without him. My DS and I made our own life and ended up marrying a WONDERFUL man when DS was 4. That is his dad and he has little contact with his birth dad.

Not saying this will happen with your DH and the kids, but just saying things will be brighter one day. Believe me I know it doesn't seem like it now, but you will be happy again!! Love your kids and be honest with them !!

 

[Sherri]

My friend was in her late 30's when her dh decided to end things, her kids were in 2nd grade and preschool age.
She did not handle it well. Her every other weekends without the kids were the toughest on her. Many times I would find myself sitting next to her at a bar and driving her home. She hit rock bottom quite a few times and her friends were very concerned about her.
But she gained strength. After her divorce was settled she sold the house that she had, had built with her husband and had another one built. It was her way of letting go. She felt invigorated. She did get remarried to a man who treated her like gold. But she always said that her divorce gave her the opportunity to have a close bond with her children, not that they didn't have one before, but it was a different kind of bond.
I think the best thing you can do is to surround yourself around your friends and family (oh yeas- and us on the disboard), they (we) will help you find your strength when you feel like you don't have anyone more.

 

[jbmom]

 

[kellyg403]

I was 36 when ex dh left me with 6 children ranging in age from 2-14. I didn't want the marriage to be over either because I was flat out scared. It was a really tough time but it was such a learning lesson for me. I learned about the person I wanted to be going into my 40's and what kind of strength I was born with and never used. Yeah, it was tough those first 6 months. Then the first year went by and the second. I met a nice guy through work who was a single dad to the 2 kids he had left at home. What a family we have become! And I agree with the pp about the bond I have now with my children. We weathered a hurricane together and now are reaping the benefits of going through it together.

Hugs and prayers to you!

Kelly

 

[decaff38]

I was divorced at 26 with 2 kids. It is kind of a blur now looking back 22 years but i remember the kids became my first priority and I used that inspiration to choose a profession and go for it. There were times when I worked 30 hours a week and took 12-15 credits but it was in my mind my greatest accomplishment. Take a look at your wishes and dreams and look into going to school to make them come true. Just start and figure it out from there. No one know what they are doing when they start school and many change their minds a couple of times. There are fabulous funding programs for single moms. Tons of support on a campus for you. And many people to interact with and help you with your social life( even if it is only 30 min a week). You are a strong women with tons of resources built in. I know there are going to be horrible nights and worse mornings but keep going it gets better and you will look back on the blur too. Keep us updated and head up, smile even if it is fake.You will make it!!!!.