1) From personal experience, how is the carriage ride? Reliable? Stinky? In demand? Should I save up for parasailing instead?
We liked it, it's a relaxing 25 minute ride around the whole resort. Especially nice at dusk, just as the lights are coming on, etc. You can sometimes get walk-ups, but I'd suggest pre-booking at least a few days in advance when you know your plans.
2) Is the s'more making more fun and kid oriented or will adults enjoy it (yes, I know, but if it's more about the fun I might do the character BBQ at FW like I've always wanted and that is why I ask)
I see quite a few folks just sitting around the campfire and relaxing, mostly with kids there as well but not exclusively by any means. I wouldn't make it a big plan or anything, but it's a nice way to relax and while away half an hour. Not to mention the free toasted marshmallows. 
3) (And Andre (our leader) might have a sense of this?) Do the outdoor movies stay the same year to year? If I look at Nov. for this year, will it be somewhat similar for Nov. the following year? I'm not saying I would schedule my evenings around the Little Mermaid and Frozen, but I probably would.
I haven't checked year-on-year, but I haven't noticed a specific pattern particularly, they do move things round a bit for variety and as new movies come out. I have all the historical schedules on my site anyway, maybe download some and see if there's a common pattern?
and 5) Just for funsies
...I've never been to DTD and part of the draw of POFQ for me is the DTD boat ride. Besides the
Lego store and the Irish bar, what is your favorite thing for eating/doing there? The bowling?
It's very much in a state of flux at the moment. I like Earl of Sandwich for a snack, and there are some really nice sounding new stores that have opened recently, but expect a lot more change by 2015.
Does POFQ have options for an in-room masseuse so his hammies don't die on our week on WDW property?
I don't think so, but it's worth asking them if there is such a service across WDW-property (certainly there's not a Port Orleans offered service).
But why does your husband want to bring his hamsters with him anyway, do they want to meet Mickey Mouse maybe?
Anyways, I've heard whispered rumors of a way to ship home things from the resort instead of having to lug it on the airplane? Is that true or is there a UPS in MCO? I mean, I'm happy to give Disney my hard-earned Disney dollar (or gift card, whatever I decided on) for the right merchandise.
Just ask at the Front Desk or the shop, they'll help find a packing box for you and then you can get a pickup requested from there. That'd be your easiest option.
And I have some Romance! type questions.
