I have never been given any rules about club level, any time, at the Grand Floridian or Polynesian where we stayed club level. When I say kids can go eat by themselves, I mean kids old enough for it, of course. You don't want to send your toddler down there unsupervised. I have never seen any kids being reprimanded in the lounge for anything. In fact, the food area of the lounge often has worker around at all, and the dishes often pile up on the tables with nobody to clean them off, and even when the dishes are removed, the tables are not wiped and we have to wipe them ourselves.
And yes, you can make a meal out of potato chips and cookies and carrot sticks and bits of something wrapped in bacon if you are a small eater, but I don't think most people can. We did, though! I had never eaten so much raw zucchini in my life!
As with almost everything CL, the experience varies from visit to visit. I'm sure it has much to do with each individual manager and CM.
Sometimes we have been greeted out front, for example, but not always. Food offerings are also kind of all over the place. I think we've been offered apples and oranges for every stay, but sometimes the fruit bowl has pears and even bananas.
Over many WDW CL stays, we've only been handed a paper list of rules a few times, and it was far from our first time staying CL. We actually wondered if we'd erroneously been put on some secret "rulebreaker naughty list."
It seems to us, if the CM's are busy when we arrive then we get expedited service. If we arrive at a quiet time, then the CM's spend more time going over everything with us. It is also important to note that if folks arrive outside the CL hours, there are no CL CM's at all.
Of all the CL's, WL is a bit distinct. Of all the CL's, they REALLY tend to spend extra time going over everything with us when we arrive.
As for making meal out of evening appetizers, our experience has also varied widely.
Truly, I left the DISboards for about 6 months because a poster got VERY nasty with me (VERY QUCKLY) over the subject of CL food offerings!
Please humor me for a moment....
In the past 9 months we've had three CL stays: a WDW CL, a Universal Orlando CL, and a 3rd CL (different hotel brand/different city). During all 3 CL stays, we came for desserts and lingered a little while. At ALL of them, the dessert offerings varied within the span of 30 minutes!
We just recently saw cookies trays replaced with pink cupcakes replaced with cake pops replaced with coconut cupcakes replaced with fruit tarts, and back again to cookies! Most folks grabbed a few treats and left before the tray was changed, but the variation over the course of just half an hour was crazy! (Mind, this isn't always the case, CM's often replace same with same.)
We often travel with folks who have food allergies. Often the chefs themselves will talk to guests with food allergies to meet their needs. Multiple chefs have explained to us that availability and pricing are inconsistent. Sometimes they simply can't get a certain item or the seasonal price is too high. Other times, they are able take advantage of low prices. (Produce and seafood are especially prone to fluctuations.) Other times, they place an order, but the item doesn't arrive.