Disney wedding "inappropriate" due to distance/travel issue?

[LuluLovesDisney]

This is only my second post here, because I am "unofficial" right now.

I am a former cast member and both me and my future fiance are huge Disney fans. We want a Disney Wedding. In my area, weddings are expensive anyway, (My latest brother's wedding was about 40,000$!!!) so financially it wouldn't be that much more, as long as I was budget conscious, plus my parents would pay for a good portion of it.

The big issue is guests. I have a large family and there is some discussion that it would be inappropriate to have a wedding in Disney because some people would be unable to attend.

I know my immediate family: my parents, 3 brothers, their wives and children, my godmother/aunt (who lives in the same house as my parents) and uncle and their daughter, would definitely come, but there are other relatives who I am not particularly close to, but might not come if it is in WDW as opposed to New Jersey, but I know of other relatives who would love it!

Did you pay for any relatives' accomodations or flights? Did everyone stay in a block of rooms? And most importantly, did you have any issues because "not everyone could come"?

Thanks so much for your help!

 

[JonetteA]

I think you are going to find out that we have all had a story or two like yours. The one thing I would say is who the most important to be there? We personally are not going to pay for anyone's travel, or accomodations or tickets, we can't afford to. We figure that our immediate family will be there and afterwards we will have an at home reception for those that couldn't come. We are going to do the video and photos so they should be ready for everyone to see. For those who can't come to the at home, we are going to put the video and pictures on the internet so that they can view them.

 

[hiwaygal]

Our situation is a little different...

DF's parents passed away years ago; he only really keeps in touch with two aunts who live about 500 miles away. He has told me that one of them has never left the town they live in (they were born there).

My entire family (with the exception of maybe 10 people) is pretty much all in one city...about 600 miles away.

Needless to say, even if we had decided to have a wedding here at "home", EVERYONE would have had to travel to us anyway.

We ended up deciding that what we wanted was something really special and "magical"...and a Disney wedding was it! Thank goodness my brother got married last year in Jamaica and my parents were kinda "used" to the idea of a destination wedding.

We have not formally invited anyone to our Disney wedding and we are not having a reception when we get home. We decided that this was "OUR" thing and we were going to do what we wanted.

I think you should do what YOU and your DH2B want...

 

[hmgolden]

We didn't pay for anyone's travel. If we had gotten married at home, 90% of our guest list would have had to travel, and we wouldn't have paid for their travel in that case. All of our friends agreed they would rather pay to travel to Orlando than pay to travel to Poughkeepsie.

Before formally deciding on a Disney wedding, we took an informal poll of the family and friends that we really wanted to be there. All of them said yes they would be willing to travel, so we did it. Yes, other family members didn't come, but I viewed that as their choice. They missed out on a great time. And DH and I got to celebrate with those that really mattered to us (as well as a few random additions) rather than the 300 person guest list wedding we would have had at home.

 

[twojo21]

we are paying for our dw & some prewedding events, my parents graciously offered to pay for our guests rooms at the allstar movies for 3 nights & 4 nights for our wedding party members, my fi's mom has offered to purchase 1 day park tickets for all our guests & fi's dad is hosting the rehearsal dinner. we are not providing airfare but are doing newsletters with this info to help guests make travel plans as some unlike us arent avid travellers. we are having a custom wedding with 64 guests just close family & 2 friends. this is our dream wedding & i am so happy with the decision. i know the guest rooms being provided helped some family who couldnt or wouldnt of otherwise been able to come but even if you dont pay for your guests rooms there are room block discounts & if you watch the time of year you get married say value/regular season for instance it can be fairly affordable for your guests to come down to wdw for your wedding. no matter where your wedding there will be no go's so i say go with your heart & have your dream wedding, disney also has a high rsvp at 90% per my em, so hopefully those important guests will be there to share in your joy.

best of luck with your plans.

 

[Luvndisney]

I am having all 100 guests travel from New York to Florida for our wedding. At first we were hesitant but that only lastest for a few days. We decided that the important people in our lives would make the trip to see our wedding and that was what was important to us. Disney is a huge part of our lives and any other type of wedding wouldn't fit us. At first our families were hesitant as well, but they came around quickly once they realized we were doing it anyway. We are not paying for our guests accomodations or tickets. However, i know how you feel about the cost of a wedding in the northeast! If we had out wedding here on a saturday in july for 200+ people we would be looking at 45,000 plus! We are actually saving money having it in Florida - almost half the cost. Partly due to the lower guests list and partly because its FLorida and not New York. My suggestion: if its what you want...have it! You do not want to regret not having your disney wedding. I think most people will comer around and you can always have a second reception when you get back from Florida for those who could not attend.

Good luck

 

[Peachie158]

Please, do what you really want to do and don't worry too much about what others say. If it's not this they're unhappy with, it could be something else. People just forget that it's not about them and will complain about anything! Listen to your heart and do what you and your fdh want to do. We learned so much about people with our wedding. After all was said and done, EVERY single one of our 105 guests had an amazing time!! So many people ended up thanking US for inviting them and told us it was the best wedding they'd ever been to! You'll see!! Lots of luck!

Christine

 

[Asuneda]

Its your wedding. Have it where you want to have it. If you lived in Orlando, would your family still find it "inappropriate" to travel there for your wedding? For most brides, no matter where the wedding, someone will have to travel or someone will feel put out by attending...those people will feel that way no matter what...so ignore it.

We had an intimate wedding. Just our parents, brothers and my best friend. It was great. I have a large extended family and my DH does not. We felt that the disparity was too lopesided to have a big hometown wedding. Plus neither of us grew up or lived where most of the families were. Although, I wish my grandparents could have attended (neither set travel much anymore) I will never regret my Disney wedding. It was elegant, tasteful and sooo much fun. It was a great bonding experience for our families. Definitely made all the holidays since then easier!

We had 2 receptions when we came home...one at the annual extended family Thanksgiving in Houston (5 days after our honeymoon) and one for our friends in Austin as a Christmas party (next weekend). We showed our wedding video and pictures and everyone had a great time. Most of our friends were happy to not have to spend the time or money actually attending a formal wedding would have required of them. They loved being able to lounge on the couch and make funny comments during the video!

So make your wedding your own...you're the ones who will remember it the most anyway!!

 

[jlovesee]

I agree with the previous poster, its important to care about family, but its also important to do what you want to do, and if your heart is set on getting married at Disney then do it!

When Jeff and I (my husband) got married in January, 2002 it was only six months after 9/11 and we knew we where asking a lot for people to climb on a plane to fly to Florida. Since we both lived in Kansas City, MO and that's where 90% of our family lived we where asking almost everyone to travel, so yes saying I was stressed was an understatement.

But I would do it again in a heartbeat, it was wonderful, and everyone who came (we had 44 people total) had a wonderful time, and I still get compliments on it almost 4 years later

Commenting on helping those traveling monentarily... We did put out two newsletters, but as we payed for the wedding ourselves 100% and didn't go in debt (we are both middle class), we only ended up helping two friends who wouldn't have been able to come if we hadn't. We picked them up at the airport, and payed for their rooms.

Jennifer

 

[dvcgirl]

This is only my second post here, because I am "unofficial" right now.

I am a former cast member and both me and my future fiance are huge Disney fans. We want a Disney Wedding. In my area, weddings are expensive anyway, (My latest brother's wedding was about 40,000$!!!) so financially it wouldn't be that much more, as long as I was budget conscious, plus my parents would pay for a good portion of it.

The big issue is guests. I have a large family and there is some discussion that it would be inappropriate to have a wedding in Disney because some people would be unable to attend.

I know my immediate family: my parents, 3 brothers, their wives and children, my godmother/aunt (who lives in the same house as my parents) and uncle and their daughter, would definitely come, but there are other relatives who I am not particularly close to, but might not come if it is in WDW as opposed to New Jersey, but I know of other relatives who would love it!

Did you pay for any relatives' accomodations or flights? Did everyone stay in a block of rooms? And most importantly, did you have any issues because "not everyone could come"?

Thanks so much for your help!

We're originally from NJ...our entire family is from there and we were married at WDW back in 98. We invited 50 people...42 showed up. Initially there was resistance to the idea....my MIL thought we were joking. But I can tell you this. People are still talking about our wedding to this day. Our guests were blown away....

I think once people got the idea that they could turn our wedding trip into a 4 day weekend vacation it became something they got on board with.

 

[VSL]

I'm intending to marry in WDW - and I live in the UK!

As another poster said, I'm going to take a kind of poll before we actually get in touch with Disney and start planning to see who/how many will be willing to come. My only problem is that I have on cousin who is afraid to fly (and yes, some family members will think I'm being 'selfish', but hey - it's my wedding!), so he may not make it..

And there's no way we could afford to pay for all the guests - our parents will probably split the cost between them (well, we'll also be paying for some, but they'll be paying the bulk of it) and the cost of me, BF, and both sets of parents will already be a lot of money, so they couldn't afford to pay for others too!
(Also, the vast majority of people in my family are making sufficient money to come to WDW - besides, it could be their holiday as well!)

 

[Ember]

We're going to be paying for the bridal party (flights, hotel, park passes). We're also going to offer to help out those family members who might not be able to afford to go. Rather than have a huge wedding here at home, feeding 200 of my "nearest and dearest", I'm willing to pay to take the people I really love with me to Disney World. If it's at all affordable, we're also going to buy the park passes for all of our guests (30 - 35 people).

I *Know* it's a long way to travel, and that it can be very expensive for some people. So I'm hoping to do everything in my power to make it as easy as possible for them. I also understand that this is a holiday for my guests, which some people have pointed out... But what if they wanted to spend their hard earned holiday somewhere else, and now they're giving that up to be with me at my wedding? I just want everyone to know how much I appreciate them taking the time (and expense) to be there with me.

 

[NeverlandClub23]

I'm planning on getting married in 10/2007 at GF WP at an Intimate wedding (I am not paying $15,000-$25,000 for a wedding, just so some family members I'm not very close to can come). My mom has 7 brother and sisters and my dad has 7 brothers and sisters, and I have half a million cousins. My mom told me that she'll just tell some of my family members I ran away and got married I guess I'll tell the family members that actually do go not to say anything about going. Who knows? Bottom line: I want to get married at WDW. It's mine and my fiance's wedding. And all I care is that my mom, dad, brother, and fiance are there. I'm not planning on paying for any of my family members to fly there or stay there. If they don't (or can't) afford to come than (this is going to sound mean ), oh well. I don't mean to sound like a you-know-what, but my family members are already calling my mom and asking if they're invited and the wedding is two years away! I'm trying to develop my thick skin now

 

[pixie08]

However, i know how you feel about the cost of a wedding in the northeast! If we had out wedding here on a saturday in july for 200+ people we would be looking at 45,000 plus! We are actually saving money having it in Florida - almost half the cost. Partly due to the lower guests list and partly because its FLorida and not New York.

I know isn't that crazy??? because we are having it in Florida we get to cut the guest list from 150+ down to 60 or so! so even w/ travel and paying for our bridal party accomodation we are still saving$$$$$. it is insane everything is so expensive up here!

 

[ahutton]

My inlaws told me it was crazy, stupid and ever other bad thing you could think of to have a WDW wedding. SMIL also said if we did it then nobody from DHs family would come. Funny though, when it came down to it - she and FIL did. So did DH's Mom and 2 sisters. And when we received response cards from the rest of DH's family the reasons they couldn't go to Florida would also have meant they could not have come to Phoenix (where DH and I lived at the time and in her mind "should have" gotten married) so they would not have come anyway. Boy were we glad we didn't change from our plan of what WE wanted to do! And everyone who came still talks about it as one of the greatest times of their lives, it has been a while, our 9th anniversary is in December.

I didn't know there was another FTW bride from Austin on here! HI!!!