I guess misery loves company, because I'm secretly a little glad to know that it's not just me that this kind of squid-eating potty scenario happens to. My sister and I kid each other about OUR version of "the things we thought we'd NEVER hear ourselves say to our children". Not "because I'm the Mom, that's why", but precious gems like:
* "Take Barbie's legs OUT of the jello!"
* "Don't wipe your nose on the remote control."
* "What are you doing? Don't stick your head between the closing elevator doors!"
* "Honey, this is Mommy's deodorant, not a glue stick"
* "Ack!! Get the vaccuum cleaner hose out of your mouth?!"
and this perennial favorite (I'm afraid I'm not even kidding on this one...)
"DON'T *LICK* THE TOILET!!!! WHAT ARE YOU THINKING!!!!!"
The latter was followed, quite predictably, but much gnashing of teeth, flooding of the affected mouth with Listerine, running of hot water, pumping of soap, rewashing, re-rinsing. You get the general idea...