Ladies and Gentlemen... Welcome to another special presentation of the DIScademy Awards!
[applause]
Please welcome Britney Spears!
{Britney enters}
BRIT BRIT: Oh my gosh you guys... this is so awesome! I'm very glad to be here. And I'm even more excited to introduce my co-presenter.
{HAIL TO THE CHIEF BEGINS}
BRIT BRIT: Ladies and gentlemen, The President of the United States.. George Washington Bush.
W: Hey. How you doin'? I'm George Bush. The President. Of the whole country. America. I was readin' about this awards thing on the internets. I asked Fleagle if I could present my own award.
BRIT BRIT: What did he say?
W: I forget. But I'm here. So here's my Award. I call it the the President's Award. Cause I'm the President. Of America.
BRIT: What is your award for?
W: For the video that was coolest. I picked the one by Brady MacDonald. He's some kind of writer guy. A blogger. On the internets. He wrote some stuff about the contest.
BRIT: A writer was covering a contest that he entered?
W: Yeah. That's no problem, as long as you tell everybody up front. But I heard the rules are different on the internets. I'll pardon him anyway. Did you see his video?
BRIT: I did.
W: What did you think?
BRIT: Good but not great.
[audience members with a good memory laugh]
W: Well, I thought it was cool! First, he starts his video by implying that he had an inappropriate physical relationship with Minnie Mouse. I'm sure the people at Disney loved that.
[nervous laughter]
BRIT: Cool!
W: Then, he implied that he had been guilty of criminal activity, but never convicted. Then he cussed at Captain Hook.
[more nervous laughter]
BRIT: Oh, right... and then he showed Donald with no pants on. When I don't wear pants, it gets in the National Enquirer.
W: Seriously? Which issue? I gotta get back on track here. Dick Cheney said I had to get to bed by 9:30. Anyway... the President's Award Mickey goes to: Brady MacDonald.
BRIT: Um... Mr. President?
W: Yeah darlin'
BRIT: Shouldn't "Zar" be spelled with a C?
W: Nope. Brady said he was gonna be the DMZ The Disney Magic Zar. I thought that was funny because there is a DMZ in Korea. The De-Magicalized Zone. Plus, he's a writer guy. A blogger. He's got spell check and other cool stuff.
BRIT: I thought ZAR was
C-Z-A-R...
W: Nope, Brady wouldn't misspell the main joke in his own video. He uses words for a living. On the internets. Plus, C-Z-A-R would be pronounced SEA ZAR... like Julius SEA ZAR in the Romaine Empire.
BRIT: OH.. that's where they got Romaine lettuce?
W: Exactly, and the Romaine lettuce goes in a SEA ZAR salad. And you are supposed to eat your SeaZar salad while drinking an Orange Julius. Julius Ceasar was called The Orange Julius because he was a big University of Texas fan. Hook Em 'Horns!!!
BRIT: I have to go.. Congratulations to Brady.
W: And Don't Mess With Texas.
Brady's video:
http://www.dreamcmo.com/view-dream-cmo-applicant.php?CMODID=CMO-3C05666702B0A020CD1F817E9C946C9B