Disappointing

[lisadoll93]

We just got back. It was probably the worst time with other people's comments. DS was having a meltdown, we were taking back to the room, so he could relax. This older man looks at us at say "this is suppose to be a happy place" , as he is walking into the elavator "some parents" I wanted to cry because I already felt terrible.

We were trying to have dinner, early. DS was having a meltdown. So, we gave a cupcake with a chocolate mickey head. An older lady (manager) and asked if we would like some bread. I told her no, he is gluten free but a sprite would be great. She looks at him and say why does he have a cupcake. I lost it "are you questioning my parenting skills? do you have a child with autism? He has the cupcake because he likes to look the mickey head" We got our food to go and left.

I know he is different and I know life is hard but this time really hurt.

 

[Hasil72]

I'm so sorry that some people just don't understand. You handled it better that I would have. Sometimes the comments make ME meltdown.

 

[Mason7AK]

So sorry this happened to you! It is very hard not to let other people's attitudes get to you. Sending some pixie dust your way, that you can remember the good things from your trip!
Angela

 

[GoofTroop]

We just got back. It was probably the worst time with other people's comments. DS was having a meltdown, we were taking back to the room, so he could relax. This older man looks at us at say "this is suppose to be a happy place" , as he is walking into the elavator "some parents" I wanted to cry because I already felt terrible.

We were trying to have dinner, early. DS was having a meltdown. So, we gave a cupcake with a chocolate mickey head. An older lady (manager) and asked if we would like some bread. I told her no, he is gluten free but a sprite would be great. She looks at him and say why does he have a cupcake. I lost it "are you questioning my parenting skills? do you have a child with autism? He has the cupcake because he likes to look the mickey head" We got our food to go and left.

I know he is different and I know life is hard but this time really hurt.

I can just imagine how much this hurt. Sadly, we tend to let the few bad things superceed the good. As difficult as it may be, try to forget the bad and just remember the good times you had during your trip.

I'm a parent of two boys with high functioning autism. The oldest of the two (age 14) was 10 during his first trip to WDW. We were standing in line (45 minute wait) to ride Test Track. He became totally overwhelmed in that line. A lot to take in....But we knew he'd enjoy that ride...It was just getting to it. The family behind us basically accused us of abusing him because we made him stand in line. Once we rode the ride, He LOVED it and all he kept asking was to ride it again and again. We found out about the GAC card after this mishap. So, we then got it for him....It was our saving grace....But I've never forgotten how that family was with us.

My younger son (age 7) has all the 'wonderful' behavior issues that go along with autism. Meltdowns are part of our everyday life. During our last trip (December 06) he was standing in line to ride Space Mountain with my husband. He was having issues with the line (even though we had the GAC). A CM noticed him struggling, and went over to talk to him, she kept referring to him as her "space ranger friend". She entertained him as they waited to board the ride. Once he got off the ride, the same CM approached him and my husband. "How did my space ranger friend like the ride?" He loved it, as always. She asked if she could get him a slushy since he was such a brave space ranger, then asked what flavor he would like...Cherry! They go to the stand where the slushies are and she asked the person behind the counter "Could you please make my new space ranger friend a cherry slushy?"

While waiting for the slushy she asked my husband "Could I ask you a personal question?" My husband replied "Sure". She asked "Is your son autistic?" "He answered "Yes". Then the slushy came up. She handed it to my son and then told my husband "I hope the slushy helps, if even just a little...I have a 24 year old autistic son at home. I know how hard it all can be, and just wanted to brighten his day, if only a little....Have a magical day! Enjoy your slushy, my space ranger friend!"....And she was gone....

Elizabeth

 

[SandrainNC]

I am soooo sorry!! People just need to mind their own business!

This doesn't happen to us a lot since my son has Down syndrome and his special needs are obvious. However, my nephew has a type of Asperger's so my sister has dealt with this type of crap! I hope that you did have fun on your trip aside from the rudeness.

Sandra

 

[OKW Mom]

It's a big world down there and everyone has not had the benefit of knowledge and experience with special children.

We celebrated my husband's birthday at The Turf Club at SS DVC and at the next table found a couple our age with a boy, Alex. He appeared to have CP and was not enjoying his dinner. His Mom and Dad were doing everything and he seemed to not want his food.

As we were leaving I said "Happy Birthday Alex. We are here to celebrate my husband's birthday too!"

Everyone seemed to take a breath and smile for a minute or so.

Parenting is the hardest job we will ever have. Sometime the public does not help.

Sorry for your experience.

 

[kaytieeldr]

lisadoll - while the Guest at your resort was, admittedly, a jerk; and while your prime concern IS your family... try looking at the incident with the manager from another side. Now, I could be entirely off the mark and I wasn't there so I don't know her tone of voice but - could it be possible she was concerned about your gluten-free son having a cupcake that obviously could cause him problems?

 

[lisadoll93]

lisadoll - while the Guest at your resort was, admittedly, a jerk; and while your prime concern IS your family... try looking at the incident with the manager from another side. Now, I could be entirely off the mark and I wasn't there so I don't know her tone of voice but - could it be possible she was concerned about your gluten-free son having a cupcake that obviously could cause him problems?

I totally get that part BUT it was the way she said it, the tone. Even our waitress was offend by the way she said it.

The thing is I understand how it looks to other people. He looks like a "normal" 4 year old but he is not. Its the comments. What gives people the right to comment on my kid in front of me, regradless if he is special needs. Its the judgement. The stares I can deal with, its the comments that hurt. I really would love to say "Listen (insert choice word), go (choice word) yourself" but what is that teaching my other 2 kiddos. If you dont have anything nice to say, dont say anything. Its just hurts because its really not his fault, kwim.

Thank you for all your kind words and for understanding.

 

[SereneOne]

I am so sorry, many hugs!!! You know what is best for your child and you are doing a terrific job....other people can really suck!!

 

[pcparamedics01]

I feel for you Honey!!!! I find people to be soooo ignorant! However in all fairness they do not know most of the time there is anything wrong with our children because they do not look ASD. They view them as a typical child until they have a melt down. Sorry! i am with you!!!

 

[AJKMOM]

For what it's worth, there are threads all over the DIS about how rude people are in general. At least once a week, someone posts about an event in WDW that they couldn't believe where a guest was rude. Some are related to special needs not being noticeable, but others are just people being rude and mean to mankind in general.

I am lucky- or maybe the rude person is lucky - that no one ever says anything about my DS with autism. I am not one to shy away from ignorant remarks.

 

[pcparamedics01]

For what it's worth, there are threads all over the DIS about how rude people are in general. At least once a week, someone posts about an event in WDW that they couldn't believe where a guest was rude. Some are related to special needs not being noticeable, but others are just people being rude and mean to mankind in general.

I am lucky- or maybe the rude person is lucky - that no one ever says anything about my DS with autism. I am not one to shy away from ignorant remarks.

You said it! I let them have it full force! DH runs and says under his breathe big mistake!! Meaning big mistake to say soemthing to my son or me. I guess it is years of dealing with stupid people that do not think before they open there mouth that has reduced me to this. I am calm when I give it right back to them but they know I am serious!

 

[SueM in MN]

For what it's worth, there are threads all over the DIS about how rude people are in general. At least once a week, someone posts about an event in WDW that they couldn't believe where a guest was rude. Some are related to special needs not being noticeable, but others are just people being rude and mean to mankind in general.

There a re quite a few people with an "It's all about ME" attitude, but there are some really nice people you will meet too.
On Oct 4, at the Boo To You MNSSHP, we met a really nice lady who bought DD a light up Tinkerbell pin. She said that was the 6th one she had given out that night. When she saw someone who looked like they could 'use one' she would give them one.

For every nasty one you meet, you usually will find about 10 nice people. It's just easier to remember the nasty ones because what they say or do hurts, no matter how much you try to not let it.

 

[pcparamedics01]

There a re quite a few people with an "It's all about ME" attitude, but there are some really nice people you will meet too.
On Oct 4, at the Boo To You MNSSHP, we met a really nice lady who bought DD a light up Tinkerbell pin. She said that was the 6th one she had given out that night. When she saw someone who looked like they could 'use one' she would give them one.

For every nasty one you meet, you usually will find about 10 nice people. It's just easier to remember the nasty ones because what they say or do hurts, no matter how much you try to not let it.

Very true! It is the nasty ones that always come to mind unfortunately. I remember one awful individual that actually said to me that I should consider "Tough Love" for my son. DS was having a melt down because we wouldn't allow him to get something, because he had it at home. I was dealing with him, she says what she said and I snapped back that the only thing that is tough is dealing with people like you, then I went on about ASD. Then I said, what makes it tougher is having to explain myself and my son to you so back off. Or something close to that! I hate those days. It does not happen very often but when it does, it ruins my whole day. I would never do that to someone that is what upsets me about people putting their nose where it does'nt belong and making loaded statements that they have no idea where it can lead. But then there are the lovely ones that make you feel like a human!

 

[Bill_Lin]

Perhaps there should be a sign posted at the entrance to every Disney Park that reads:

"Welcome to the Happiest Place on Earth.
Our Cast Members are very committed to keeping this the happiest place on earth.
To help us keep this place happy please-
Keep your opinions about other people's parenting and special privileges granted to kids with disabilities to yourself while you are here. No one really wants to hear it.
Allow our trained, professional and courteous Cast Members to address any issue that comes up."

Nearly all of the complaints I read about people being rude to parents or kids' with disabilities are about other park guests. Very rarely do I hear about rude Cast Members at Disney.

 

[livndisney]

Very true! It is the nasty ones that always come to mind unfortunately. I remember one awful individual that actually said to me that I should consider "Tough Love" for my son. DS was having a melt down because we wouldn't allow him to get something, because he had it at home. I was dealing with him, she says what she said and I snapped back that the only thing that is tough is dealing with people like you, then I went on about ASD. Then I said, what makes it tougher is having to explain myself and my son to you so back off. Or something close to that! I hate those days. It does not happen very often but when it does, it ruins my whole day. I would never do that to someone that is what upsets me about people putting their nose where it does'nt belong and making loaded statements that they have no idea where it can lead. But then there are the lovely ones that make you feel like a human!

Oh please don't let it ruin you day, I know it is hard.
My most recent approach when having to deal with a nasty person-after they have made their stupid comment, I look then in the eye and ask "DO I know you?" The answer is always no, so I then say "then WHY are you speaking to me?" It stuns then long enough to make your get away

 

[pcparamedics01]

Oh please don't let it ruin you day, I know it is hard.
My most recent approach when having to deal with a nasty person-after they have made their stupid comment, I look then in the eye and ask "DO I know you?" The answer is always no, so I then say "then WHY are you speaking to me?" It stuns then long enough to make your get away

That is good! I will have to remember that!

 

[pcparamedics01]

Perhaps there should be a sign posted at the entrance to every Disney Park that reads:

"Welcome to the Happiest Place on Earth.
Our Cast Members are very committed to keeping this the happiest place on earth.
To help us keep this place happy please-
Keep your opinions about other people's parenting and special privileges granted to kids with disabilities to yourself while you are here. No one really wants to hear it.
Allow our trained, professional and courteous Cast Members to address any issue that comes up."

.

Good one....

Also ......



If you do, you have entered this park at your own risk and we will not be responsible for what happens to you!

 

[Bill_Lin]

Now that is FUNNY!

 

[tacomaranch]

I feel so badly that you had to endure a rude CM, it was truly uncalled for!

I know it is hard having an autistic child because the disability is invisible to others. We got the stare at the library. I ended up just telling her in a loud voice "he has autism, quick staring". Of course I was in tears as I left.

I am so sorry that people have to be rude. I wish you happiness and joy and pray the rest of the trip went better.