Dis Breast Cancer Survivors Part IV - GAGWTA

[snappy]

My mom was able to go with me when I had the diagnostic mammogram after the initial suspicious mammogram in 2004. It wasn't crucial that she was there but I think it was helpful looking back as after the radiologist read the diagnostic mammogram, she talked to me and recommended the core biopsy.

I think you ll be fine but if you end up needing more testing afterwards, bring someone along.

 

[snappy]

DH is having a nuclear stress today at his cardiologist 's office. DH asked me to met him afterwards for the chat with doc afterwards.

I am hoping there is no worsening of his blockages. The trainer who works with DH at the gym we go to has told me DH gets out of breath.

I guess I am nervous.

 

[luvmarypoppins]

tarheel - wishing you all the best on wed.

Laurie - thinking of your dh too and hope his testing turns out well. Glad you will be with him.

Cheryl - hope you are resting and gaining strength

Jillyb - hope you are resting up

Another 3 to 6 inches of snow tomm. When will this ever end?? Also my town, not my town, per se, a consortium of many smaller towns in a taxing district, has told us we have budgeted snow removal for 2.7 mill. and its up to 7 million they have spent as of the other day. I know another tax bill increase to pay for this will be coming next year.

I have started to plan the trip. I need dh go ahead. So far its the Swan with the 2 ds. Dh is not keen on the ds coming. We shall see. It will be the Flower show. Always love looking at the flowers. All the ds want to do is go to the water parks.

GAGWTA

 

[CherylDan]

Laurie, hope all goes well with your DH. How is snappy doing?

Linda, how's your girl? I think I remember you saying you might be getting a puppy?

Tarheel, best wishes to you

JillyB, glad to hear you are doing well.

Smiley, where are you??? I've been looking forward to seeing some Hawaii pictures!

I'm doing much better. Leg swelling is starting to go down, I can actually bend my knees now! Still using the walker for balance, but it's much much easier to get around. All my hair is now gone, so I've got that official cancer patient "look" going on. For the third time. Blah. I must say, I am not looking forward to more chemo Thursday.....seems like I need more time to recover.

On the home front, DD went for an ultra sound to determine boy/girl, and although they couldn't get a good clear shot, the tech said about 80% certain a girl. So for now anyway, we are thinking pink! Due the first week in July.

GAGWTA!!

 

[Dancind]

Laurie, let us know how it goes with DH.

Cheryl, glad you are feeling better. You certainly have something wonderful to stay healthy for!

Don't know if I will ever get grand babies, especially if DD waits as long as I did (37).

LMP, sounds like you can't get to Florida fast enough. Our winter has turned mild and warm.

Tarheel, if you call and ask, they should be able to tell you if they would go ahead with a biopsy on the spot, if needed. I went back several times before that step, so every clinic is different.

 

[smiley_face2]

I have missed a lot here!
Cheryl...sending a big hug to you and lots of prayers! I am really glad you are getting stronger! I still have not transferred my pictures from my camera so just have iphone pics at this point

here is a pic of me at the beach

and another of just the beach

 

[jillyb]

Great picture Smiley!!

Cheryl: glad to hear you are doing better. Yay for a !

Tarheel: hope things went well for you yesterday.

Saw the surgeon yesterday. He was very pleased with how well I'm healing. I'm happy to have the bandages off! Good news: the invasive cancer cells are GONE!!!! The lymph nodes that he took out were also clear. The chemo did it's job. Makes the rough time totally worth it! There is still some DCIS (ductal carcinoma in situ) cells but he wasn't concerned about them. I think with radiation those should go away as well. I see my oncologist Monday and will ask him about that. Getting closer every day!

 

[jillyb]

DH is having a nuclear stress today at his cardiologist 's office. DH asked me to met him afterwards for the chat with doc afterwards.

I am hoping there is no worsening of his blockages. The trainer who works with DH at the gym we go to has told me DH gets out of breath.

I guess I am nervous.

 

[slg]

I have been lurking and readying posts for months, but not posted in some time. Now I need some ...I don't know..thoughts?

My mom, who is BRCA1 and has ovarian cancer, has just on Monday, now been told she has a huge tumour in her bowel that must be operated on. I did a little research on secondary cancers with ovarian cancer and it looks terrible. One site said that when this happens there is only 3-6 months left.

Has anyone had any experience with this or have any advice? She is 80 years old and her CA125 levels were 450 last month.

I have a disney cruise booked for July and the PIF date is March 14. I don't know if I should cancel now, or just keep going. Our flights are already booked. So worried and anxious.

Thank you for your help.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

A few thoughts, slg. A major abdominal surgery with presumed other adjuvant therapies is a major deal for anyone, much less an 80 year old. Hopefully it won't happen, but I have a friend whose mother had a similar thing and wound up with a lot of problems in her abdomen for a very long time. I also have another friend whose mother wound up with a temporary colostomy for something else (non-cancer) and died unexpectedly during the reversal surgery. At minimum, you can expect it will be a tough course for your Mom having abdominal surgery even if everything goes well.

Other things to look at will be, does she have help from others, or are you her only support? If she has a husband and/or other children who can help if need be, then you might be ok still going - if you'll enjoy yourself. If you want to be there for your Mom, or if you won't really have a good time knowing things are unsettled or difficult at home, then you might want to look into rescheduling. Disney is pretty good (or at least they used to be) about moving your funds up to a different cruise, without penalty. Something to look into. I'm not sure how your airline would be, or how trip insurance factors in if you have it.

Our first Disney cruise was taken 10 days after my BC diagnosis. I didn't want to disappoint my kids, who were turning 6 on the ship. It was so bittersweet, though, and honestly, I was sad and anxious much of the time, despite putting on a happy face for everyone. After that experience I'll probably never go on a trip that's supposed to be fun unless conditions are right. You pay too much and look forward too hard to not have a good time or be worried about things at home. But that's just my perspective. I've read threads here where people asked similar questions and others felt differently. Play it by ear. See what the doctors say, see what your mother herself and the rest of your family has to say, evaluate your mother's supports to see if you can squeeze by, and then ask yourself if you'll have a good time on the trip if your mother, God forbid, isn't doing well. (And I sure hope that's not the case!)

Good luck with whatever you decide, and sensing prayers for your Mom.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Thinking of tarheel, koflinsy and snappy's DH

LMP happy trip planning! Did you ever hear anything more on your son's tests?

Glad jilly and Cherly are doing better.

Smiley, you are always glowing in your pictures! I love them!

My girl is hanging in there, thanks for asking!

 

[fortwildernessishome]

I have been lurking and readying posts for months, but not posted in some time. Now I need some ...I don't know..thoughts?

My mom, who is BRCA1 and has ovarian cancer, has just on Monday, now been told she has a huge tumour in her bowel that must be operated on. I did a little research on secondary cancers with ovarian cancer and it looks terrible. One site said that when this happens there is only 3-6 months left.

Has anyone had any experience with this or have any advice? She is 80 years old and her CA125 levels were 450 last month.

I have a disney cruise booked for July and the PIF date is March 14. I don't know if I should cancel now, or just keep going. Our flights are already booked. So worried and anxious.

Thank you for your help.

So sorry to read this.

I also have been treated for ovarian cancer. I have read more than I care to admit on it and it can be a very grim diagnosis. I had major abdominal surgery, I was almost half of your Moms age and in pretty good health. My recovery was very, very hard. I was in the hospital for almost a week. Once home, it took all of my strength to go from the couch to the bathroom. When I had my first shower almost two weeks later, I was so exhausted, I didn't have the strength to pull my nightgown and underwear back on without assistance. Not trying to scare you, but I truly can't imagine how hard this surgery will be on a 80 year old.

I agree with pea-n-me about how going on a vacation when you have worries on your mind can be hard. Like pea, we went to Disney a couple weeks after I was diagnosed. The day after we came back I had major surgery. I went, because I wanted to give my kids some fun. I also knew with the grim ovarian cancer diagnosis, I wasn't sure if there would be more vacations. I made the most of it and we did have fun. However, what I remember most about that trip, was laying in bed at night, not being able to go to sleep because I was so scared.

If it was me and I was close to my Mom, I would probably put the vacation on hold for a little bit to see how things play out. Unless your Mom is in a nursing home I would imagine she will need live in help for a good period of time.

Again, so sorry for both you and your Mom.

 

[Feralpeg]

Hi, everyone! Smiley, love the pictures! You look beautiful!

Wow! So much going on for everyone. I won't even try to respond to each of you, but want to say that you ladies are never far from my thoughts and are always in my prayers!

I am doing very well. Finally, over my cold. I've been more tired recently, but it may be a side effect of the Arimidex that I am taking. I see the oncologist for my three month checkup the first week of March. Hard to believe its been a month since I saw him. Lots of things going on here...life is never dull!

Hang in there, my friends!

 

[tarheel618]

First I want to thank everyone for their positive thoughts.

I had my diagnostic ultrasound and mammogram yesterday and they found no signs of cancer or calcification in the breast. The bump/lump seems to be isolated to the skin. I have my dr appt to follow up on March 24 and yesterday they told me that I would probably be recommended to a dermatologist. I asked what it possibly is and they said more than likely a type of cyst (can't remember the exact name), I was just so glad to hear no cancer that I the name slips me at this moment.

Its funny because when this all started I truly thought it was an infected pimple but when it didn't go away, I started to worry.

I pray for each and everyone of you on this thread and I thank you so much for your support.

edited I remember sebacous cyst and I just read about it on the net and it describe the bump to a T

 

[jillyb]

First I want to thank everyone for their positive thoughts.

I had my diagnostic ultrasound and mammogram yesterday and they found no signs of cancer or calcification in the breast. The bump/lump seems to be isolated to the skin. I have my dr appt to follow up on March 24 and yesterday they told me that I would probably be recommended to a dermatologist. I asked what it possibly is and they said more than likely a type of cyst (can't remember the exact name), I was just so glad to hear no cancer that I the name slips me at this moment.

Its funny because when this all started I truly thought it was an infected pimple but when it didn't go away, I started to worry.

I pray for each and everyone of you on this thread and I thank you so much for your support.

edited I remember sebacous cyst and I just read about it on the net and it describe the bump to a T

That's great news!

 

[snappy]

Great news Tarheel! Thanks for the update. Don't be a stranger!

Peg, glad you shook off the cold. Hopefully now that you have, you will start feeling less tired. All your energy may have been put towards feeling better!

Slg, I think you received good input by Pea-n-me and Fortwildernessishome. This is a very difficult decision since there are so many unknowns. You may feel better going ahead and making a decision well before the last minute about canceling, so you won't be in limbo.

Good luck to you and your mom, you will be in my thoughts.

Jillyb, great news about the invasive cells being gone, not to mention clear lymph nodes! Good luck with the healing process.

Smilie, the photos are wonderful. Linda hit it on the head, you do look glowing. It is just an amazing photo, I can't wait to see more when you have a chance to load the camera shots.

Cheryl, I hope the chemo treatment yesterday was not too hard on you and that you continue to gain strength.

MaryAnn, I love planning for trips. It does get tricky though, adding our kids to the plans. I am not sure what is going to happen with our usual late May trip. It was to be a graduation celebration for DD18. Now though some of her friends are planning a music festival trip as a senior trip sort of thing. The option that is a little more attractive to DH and myself is pretty early in June, too close to when we would get back from WDW. Also, she starts training at her new job today. We don't know how hard it will be for her to get time off to do WDW with us and also a music festival trip.

DH is not excited about going to WDW anyway. I may end up canceling my reservation at the Boardwalk and just go later in the year by myself.

Thanks for asking about Snappy. She recovered from her infection from the ingrown toenail. She is eating better so I am not sure how much pain she was in from that. She seems to have rallied. The vet says to wait to come in for more blood work as long as she is doing ok. There is no treatment other than the special food and the pill she is on, so there is no real point to subjecting her to going to the vet and having the blood test. It is stressful for her and therefore for me.

DH got his heart rate up to the appropriate level on the treadmill during the nuclear stress test Monday. He did disclose to me that it was difficult for him. He had a senior moment about meeting with the doc afterwards, as he did not have an appointment for that. He is supposed to get a call to get feedback from the results, so I guess we will know more. He saw his internist yesterday, who prescribed new meds for his blood pressure since the first med did not do the trick. He also told him to reduce carbs to lose weight. I could have told him that! Low carb really worked for me! DH does not eat veggies though so my exact diet would not work for him. He has been reducing carb intake, but he still could do better.

My mom is still having significant lower back pain. Ortho surgeon says she is not a candidate for surgery, so she is taking her MRI records from the last two MRI's and see a pain management type guy-an anesthesiologist- Tuesday. My sister gets at least temporary relief from her back pain from series of epidural injections each year. We are hoping the pain management guy will have some ideas. Meanwhile she is using a walker as it gives her more confidence with walking. She is unable so far to go to either church or to the gym to swim so her life has been drastically changed. She is very motivated to return to her previous activities, so we are hoping the doc can help her.

I hate that she is hurting so. Pain meds do not seem to help at all. Selfishly it is hard for me, since I see myself where she is in a few years, especially after I was just diagnosed with osteoporosis, like she has. I feel selfish letting those thoughts slip in to my mind but I can't help it. Makes me MAD at myself.

I need to put that in a little box and go forward.

GAGWTA!

 

[PrincessKsMom]

Hi all! Glad to see many of you are getting good news.

And for those who aren't, just keep looking forward and pushing through.

I will see my surgeon on Monday for a follow-up re my superficial blood clot. Still there; seems smaller than it was but I've been having discomfort on my left side. And I swear I can feel random lumps in a few places in my side. Is it just fat I never noticed? Is it because of the clot? Is it something else entirely? I don't know but I also see my gastro next month so someone is going to having to some type of test to either see what it is or tell me to stop living in my head.

And while I was fortunate to not get the cancer diagnosis, my MIL is not so fortunate. She was diagnosed this past Monday with stomach cancer. Completely out of left field. Had a CT scan about 3 months ago for some issues. They said it was an ulcer. Went for her usual endoscopy about a week ago and they did a biopsy and found stomach cancer. I'm sick to my stomach as scared. We live in my in-laws house in the upstairs apartment. I've been living in that house for 15 years and I started dating my husband in 1984. My FIL had a stroke/heart attack (whatever it turned out to be) on a cruise ship last year during their anniversary cruise and had to be airlift to Miami. He spent a month in the hospital and hasn't fully recovered. He's still unsteady on his feet and sometimes forgetful. And to make matters worse (here comes the TMI) DH and his father are both alcoholics who only worry about themselves and spend most of their time drinking or sleeping. So guess who will shoulder the burden (I hate to put it that way because it seems so negative) of running two houses and taking care of two aging in-laws? And my only DD will be leaving for college in 6 months. This was supposed to be a happy time and I thought it would be since I got the all clear, but life has other plans for us. I'm so scared for her, and, selfishly, I'm scared for me. I can't imagine not having my MIL. She's been such a huge part of my life and a huge support system for me. I will do what needs to be done, because that's just how I'm built. I just hate that neither of the men in our lives will be able to step up and do what they should be in order to make her more comfortable and to feel secure in her surgery and treatments. So please, if you can, keep her in your thoughts and prayers.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I am going to post this here as maybe it will be helpful to someone. It was in response to a question about how to deal with the waiting for sentinel node biopsy results after a cancer diagnosis. I'm hoping the OP will join us - she is the wife of the person diagnosed.

ETA I think it should be noted that the OP's husband has been diagnosed with melanoma as best I can tell; the lymph node biopsy is to see if it has spread locally. OP correct me if I'm wrong.

With that said....


I know. It's hard to sit around and "hurry up and wait" for these things, especially when you're a "fixer" of situations, or a typical wife/mother/woman who is accustomed to "getting the job done" and "protecting" our families, etc. (As so many of us are! Of course the same thing can be said of many men, too!)

In going through something like this, really what we experience is a "loss of control", as well as a grieving process. Our loss of control comes from not being able to fix, or change the situation; and the grieving process is something we go through over the perceived loss of health and security about the future, etc. In that sense, it helps to learn about the grieving process and realize that the emotions we're feeling (shock, denial, anger, bargaining, eventual acceptance, etc.) are all normal and will fluctuate; and learn ways to help our minds relax in order to not be in a constant state of anxiety about all of this. In this way, Complementary therapies are really helpful. (And sure, medications, for some people, if that's what works for them.)

When I had cancer, medications weren't really an option for me as I was still working (as a nurse, which adds a whole other element of frustration to having cancer) and also had two young children to care for. On chemo days, I took it as I wasn't going into work, but honestly, I found it didn't help me. I also wasn't big into complementary therapies - at the time - but once I hit "rock bottom" I realized I had to change something and that's when I sort of forced myself to use my mind to relax. Fortunately my support center was helpful in that (I took meditation and journaling, and other classes) and I also found it helpful to talk to others who were going through it and counselors there. (They had services for spouses, too, recognizing that they need support as well.)

It was one super helpful counselor that helped me to understand that I needed to let go of the "staying positive" thing I'd been clinging onto so badly (and others kept ramming down my throat, it seemed), explaining that can often become a burden, which it had in my case. Everyone experiences this differently. I was at a stage that several people I'd met on my journey had died. And even patients' illnesses at work had become different and more intense to me once I got that cancer diagnosis myself. I worried my children were going to lose me, etc. It was awful. But once I hit rock bottom, there was nowhere to go but up, and once I figured out the best way FOR ME to cope, then it kind of came together - slowly. It took a long time after I was done with treatment to begin to let go of some of the intense worry. (Another way I coped was starting the cancer survivor's thread here, which has been a great source of strength/support/togetherness for myself and many others over the years.)

Maybe this is TMI and I apologize if it is. I realize you are still in the early stages. But hopefully it was helpful in some way, and maybe for others living through cancer as well. It's just hard for me to explain something like my initial post here without going into a little more detail as to why.

Again, everyone has their own way of dealing with this, and it varies greatly from person to person. In doing support type work for the last decade or so (as well as a nurse for triple that), I can say that most people can benefit from support, but others are somewhat closed off to it, and find other ways to cope (or not, I guess). I had a middle age man as a patient not too long ago who was particularly closed-mouth about everything. I'd offer to talk about his feelings but he didn't want to go there at all (and he was with us for a long time). One day he finally explained: he was just hanging on by a thread with his illness, and if he talked about it, he was going to lose it. OK, glad you explained. He was definitely more unusual than most, as most people want to talk at least a little bit. Not him, at all. Later, when he recovered, he was like a whole different person - with hugs all around and finally open. It's just that during his intense illness he was in that dark place and his way of coping was to deal with it all in his head and he didn't want anyone to remind him of it, etc. Just his way.

So I would maybe have a talk with your husband and see where he is in all this. Maybe he's coping just fine, like many, many do. Then take a look at where you are yourself. Are you frightened about his cancer diagnosis, maybe worried about the future, perhaps for the first time? If so, then it will be helpful for you to get some support, and that can come in many forms, as I've mentioned here. I think the book would be a good start. Stay off the internet and just go by what your DH's doctors say - the internet can be overwhelming and scary, and sometimes the information out there isn't up to date. Ask people not to tell you the scary stories of people who've had melanoma, unless it has a good outcome. There are certainly many melanoma survivors out there. I always tell my patients we are very fortunate to be living in this day and age where so many advances are available to us. Have faith in your medical team (as long as you're sure you've gotten the best you can) and your treatment plan. And come to realize (as hard as it is) that there are just some things that are out of our hands that we have to, at some point, accept (or we can drive ourselves crazy asking why). If you're religious, or spiritual, this is where it's helpful to say it's in God's hands, or up to the universe, etc., though it can take a while to come to that place. (Note - this doesn't equate to "giving up".) Probably helpful here to note that Prayer is the number one complementary therapy that people use the world over.

Best wishes.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

PrincessKsMom Sending prayers for your MIL, and you. It gets so hard as our parents age, and even harder when the whole burden falls on just one person. I hope things go ok, let us know.

Laurie, my mother is in a similar situation. She really can't walk well anymore, and needs a walker but REFUSES to use one (even though I bought her one). I made her use it the other day as we were going out on the ICE. She was griping the whole way down the walkway. We got to the car and she had to let go to get into the car, and thankfully DD and I each had her under her arms as she slipped and we were the only things holding her up. We were all laughing so hard we almost all fell. Even my mother, thankfully. She knows she has this issue but is too proud to use the darned walker. She thinks a cane is going to cut it but she's way past a cane! Thankfully she will use a wheelchair, bought one of those, too. Her arthritis pain and OP is the issue, too. She is acctually misshapen now from her musculoskeletal problems. I hope your mother can get some relief. The 80s are tough! PS an online store called Gold Violin has some great mobility products at a reasonable cost. We got one of the wheelchairs and it's been a blessing - it folds up and even has a carrying bag.

 

[snappy]

thanks for the name of that website, Linda. I will definitely get with my sister and check it out. Thankfully my mom does not seem to mind the walker, in fact she asked my sister to borrow hers!

It seemed far too heavy to her at first when she was in the most pain, but after a week or two she is warming up to it. She recognizes that she is more secure with it.

She is having trouble remembering quite a few things since this came on her 2 weeks ago. I am attributing this memory thing to the amount of pain she is in. Do you think that is possible?