Dis Breast Cancer Survivors Part II -GAGWTA!

[lookingforward]

Sorry if I'm blurting in - but need to get this off my chest. Get it?

sorry about the wait. This is a long week.

On Monday I went to the PS dude, asking if surgery will rid of pain, could not get an answer, but all this info about tissue expanders and return visits to the PS for expansion. Uh? I want no pain not really need new b**b. I asked him about cording - no clue, he has been a PS for years, how does he not know about cording? He suggest a second opinion from his co-PS, sure! another idea would be good. I & DH go back in the afternoon, this PS doesn't even listen to my question on pain, but says the tissue expander would not work, but maybe the dorsel flap would. Proceeds to tell me if then limits movement of the right arm, leaves oozing hole for a couple weeks and requires drains in back and front. uh? Then it would be three surgeries, one for expander under flap, then those visits, then the surgery for the insert, and then the third surgery for reduction on the left. uh? Where is the part where you tell me the about the pain? Well, there is no guaranty that the pain will be gone. So, rather than listen to me - I think he was listening to cha-ching. I did ask how many procedures like this had he done - he had assisted in 80. How many have you done? None. and you want me to be your guinea pig? And the pain might stay?

Told them on Weds - no thanks. Then the Main PS wanted to talk to me - try and talk me into this - had his assistant call me. Still no thanks!

I saw the pain Dr on Weds (after whining whining whining) and got a cortisone shot for the elbow pain (ain't working as of this moment) and a NEW drug to try. I've got a pain patch on the elbow. Use of the computer - makes it worse. Ergo the lack of posting.

I know I know - see another Dr. in a bigger city.

GAGWTA! You are all in my thoughts!

Oh my goodness! I finally found you all. I am so confused about the proper thread but I think this is it. Forgive me for being out of touch and for not having the time to read all six pages!

I am having my third chemo tomorrow, 2/14. I am on the steroids and can't sleep. Its been a rocky road with my blood clot and the blood thinners.

I wanted to write about my ongoing reconstruction. I have the tissue expander and its really not painful. It was after the orignial mastectomy surgery but I am used to it now. My surgeon has done hundreds and I have "seen" his work at my support group. The final outcome is amazing. He is very uber cautious and quite the perfectionist. I adore him, he is kind, optimistic and professional. I wanted to say that reconstruction is a super personal decision.

I will have to endure only one more surgery when he puts the implant in and then he will also do the reduction to match both sides. Then an outpatient nipple job, so to speak. I can't wait for it to be done but he is adament that I wait at least 3 months following radiation. I figure by October I will be done with everything (and I might even have some hair!). It is so important that you find an experienced surgeon no matter what method you choose.

As for pain, well, I am having chronic pain from my blood clot in my arm and from the chemo (not from the expander) and am on pain killers (they don't really "KILL" the pain, they soften it ). My oncologist is a firm believer that pain is not condusive to healing and carefully monitors meds, etc to make things as comfortable as possible. I felt sort of quilty at first for taking the meds at night and when I'm not working but it really does help. I feel for other women I know who have doctors that make them feel like drug seekers and cut off medications when they are needed. What a shame! Having treatment/surgery/healing for breast cancer is tough and lonely. So having a doctor that acknowledges that is vital. Okay, I am off my pain soapbox!

Good luck in whatever you choose and in managing the pain that comes along.

 

[NHAnn]

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY SISTAS!!!



Maureen, good luck today, glad you found us!!

Laurie...DH drove me in his 4WD truck, I'd have never even made it out of the driveway in the Pacifica, it has front wheel drive but it was just too deep and slippery with slush and sleet on top of snow. Once out to the main road was OK if you watched your speed (and hoped others did so). Later in the day flooding was a problem with all the drainage clogged with snow and pouring heavy rain on top of the snow. We had a leak in the unfinished breezeway so I should be celebrating that the mudroom/laundry room are not done yet

GAGWTA!!

 

[snappy]

Happy birthday, albeit a day late, Merry, you young'un you.

Sounds like you and your DS patched things up. Cook that he thought to give you information on the future new cancer drug. It surely shows you are in his thoughts.

Ann, hope the snow/ice/slush/ is less treacherous today. You guys have to be pretty resilient to live up in what we refer to as the frozen north.

Mosquitos were buzzing around me Saturday evening and a girl a work told me her 6 yr old got a nasty mosquito welt. Night and day, huh?

Lookingforward, glad you found us, it has been a while. I am glad you are happy with your PS's work. Reconstruction is no picnic, but if you choose your doc wisely, are patient, lucky, and have realistic expectations, things can work out just fine.

Immediate reconstruction appears to be even more cosmetically pleasing, and I am sure easier on the P.S. as well. I tend to like to take things at my own speed however and can see merit to getting past the cancer thing and have the reconstruction be a more positive step.

Each is different. Vive la difference!!!.

Happy heart day all of you!!.

 

[Amy]

Hi all! Happy belated birthday to Merry Poppins!

Well, looks like I need "yinz guyz" (hey, I'm from Pittsburgh ) to add a small prayer for me. Just got back from my regular 6-mo appt with my oncologist. (Quick recap about me: lumpectomy March 2002 (rt breast), chemo, radiation, followed by Tamoxifen for 2+ years, switched to Arimidex and Lupron for 2+ years, finished Arimidex/Lupron in Aug 2007.) My dr kept feeling around my left armpit for longer than she usually does, so of course I had to ask what was going on. She said it was prob. because I've lost 25 pounds since my last visit in Aug. and she could get a better feel of things, but one of my lymph nodes is swollen/lumpy. She couldn't find any other lumps or bumps, and said that she's 99.9% certain it's NOT a return of cancer. I had my yearly mammogram and breast sonogram already scheduled for March 11, but she called my gyne and got them to move up my appt. to this Tues., Feb. 19. My dr said she wouldn't want to wait a whole month to find out if it's anything to worry about, and she said she knows me well enough to know that I'd be worried, too, so let's find out as soon as possible what's going on.

So keep your fingers crossed for me ladies, please! I told her at the beginning of my appt that this is the best I've felt since before cancer; I should have know that I jinxed myself!! But I'm very glad that my oncologist (and even my gyne) are extra-cautious types and not the "let's wait and see" types.

I'll let you know how it goes!

GAGWTA!!

 

[lookingforward]

Happy birthday, albeit a day late, Merry, you young'un you.

Sounds like you and your DS patched things up. Cook that he thought to give you information on the future new cancer drug. It surely shows you are in his thoughts.

Ann, hope the snow/ice/slush/ is less treacherous today. You guys have to be pretty resilient to live up in what we refer to as the frozen north.

Mosquitos were buzzing around me Saturday evening and a girl a work told me her 6 yr old got a nasty mosquito welt. Night and day, huh?

Lookingforward, glad you found us, it has been a while. I am glad you are happy with your PS's work. Reconstruction is no picnic, but if you choose your doc wisely, are patient, lucky, and have realistic expectations, things can work out just fine.

Immediate reconstruction appears to be even more cosmetically pleasing, and I am sure easier on the P.S. as well. I tend to like to take things at my own speed however and can see merit to getting past the cancer thing and have the reconstruction be a more positive step.

Each is different. Vive la difference!!!.

Happy heart day all of you!!.

You are so right about the merits of waiting till after treatment. If I had to do it again that is exactly what I would do. But I was bound and determined to get going on it right away. Immediate reconstruction via tram flap, etc are awesome too.

 

[lookingforward]

Hi all! Happy belated birthday to Merry Poppins!

Well, looks like I need "yinz guyz" (hey, I'm from Pittsburgh ) to add a small prayer for me. Just got back from my regular 6-mo appt with my oncologist. (Quick recap about me: lumpectomy March 2002 (rt breast), chemo, radiation, followed by Tamoxifen for 2+ years, switched to Arimidex and Lupron for 2+ years, finished Arimidex/Lupron in Aug 2007.) My dr kept feeling around my left armpit for longer than she usually does, so of course I had to ask what was going on. She said it was prob. because I've lost 25 pounds since my last visit in Aug. and she could get a better feel of things, but one of my lymph nodes is swollen/lumpy. She couldn't find any other lumps or bumps, and said that she's 99.9% certain it's NOT a return of cancer. I had my yearly mammogram and breast sonogram already scheduled for March 11, but she called my gyne and got them to move up my appt. to this Tues., Feb. 19. My dr said she wouldn't want to wait a whole month to find out if it's anything to worry about, and she said she knows me well enough to know that I'd be worried, too, so let's find out as soon as possible what's going on.

So keep your fingers crossed for me ladies, please! I told her at the beginning of my appt that this is the best I've felt since before cancer; I should have know that I jinxed myself!! But I'm very glad that my oncologist (and even my gyne) are extra-cautious types and not the "let's wait and see" types.

I'll let you know how it goes!

GAGWTA!!

Best wishes on the mamogram. That is the biggest stinker about breast cancer, the worry, the future exams, etc that we must worry through. Good for your doctor to get it out of the way soon so you can stop worrying!

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Amy Praying it's nothing serious. Let us know. Congrats on your weight loss!

Happy Birthday, Merry!

GAGWTA and Happy Valentine's Day to all

 

[MerryPoppins]

Thanks for the good wishes. I had a great birthday.

Amy, you are in my prayers. Hopefully they'll find it's nothing to worry about, but I'm glad they're dealing with it quickly so you won't have to worry.

Lookingforward, glad you found us again. Sounds like you're doing pretty well. I had the extender at the time of my mastectomy and mine was a disaster. I was going to have to start over because my PS "missed" the valve with an injection and burst the expander. I decided at that point to reverse reconstruction. I'm happy with my body the way it is. You're right. It's a very personal decision. It all boils down to the fact that I just hate surgeries more than I wish I could have two breasts.

Our dog Buddy is not doing well. I think we're down to counting the days now. It's hard.

Our friend (Pat who had Melanoma) passed away this afternoon. It had gone to his lungs and the doctors had said he only had weeks to live. I know he was ready. Hopefully his family was as well.

GAGWTA! Hope you all had a Happy Valentine's Day.

 

[snappy]

Merry, sending you a hug for Buddy and your friend Pat.

Sad news today. I hope you find some sunshine to enjoy today.

My new Accord has a sunroof. I like having the covering open so that I can feel the warmth of the sun through the glass driving to work.

I had a lovely lunch with 2 friends yesterday. It felt nice playing hookie from work for a few hours. Don't you know my boss who still is recovering from pnemonia and can't work but an hour or two a day stopped by with mega questions on the financials while I was at lunch. I don't regret going out though, I needed a mental health break.

We finished the FASFA financial forms that you have to submit for financial aid as well as merit scholarships for both kids last night. We had DD's all done, then realized DH had one digit wrong on her social security number. That is THE key identifier, we had to start over from scratch. Then we did renew DS's FASFA from last year. Good thing our marriage is strong, it was tested last night. At least we realized as well that DS's w-2 has a wrong SS#, so we can request another one from his employer (actually our next door neighbors who have a big electrical work company).

Naturally we forget to apply for the PIN number for DD in advance, so it is submitted on time but not signed on time, therefore not processed yet. I think we went through this exact scenario last year but had more time because the state schools give you more leeway than the privates. The form is due for Tulane today but it sounds like they accept them later so hepfully the signature thing won't delay it too long. I think I remember that DH did the same mistake with the SS# for DS last year. ARRGGGHH!!!

Anyone doing this: watch which web site you go to. There is no fee to do the application on the official FASFA.ed.gov site I googled and got another website, looked like the official one to me at first. They want about $50 to basically file it for you, you still have to provide all the info and I am sure deal with the electronic signature by PIN # part. There is a warning about these shysters on the official website. I pulled out the copy of our form from last year and went to the official site. At least I did not fall into that trap.

Amy, did you finish all the forms for your son?

 

[Amy]

We finished the FASFA financial forms that you have to submit for financial aid as well as merit scholarships for both kids last night last night. ........

Amy, did you finish all the forms for your son?

Yes, snappy, we finished the final one last night. What a pain! And it's totally pointless....DS is going to a small, private college that doesn't accept ANY federal money; they say they have the right to refuse to admit you if you even get a federal loan to pay for college. (On the plus side, their tuition is on the lower end, and it's very hard to get into this college.) But they ARE ok with state grants and loans, which use the FAFSA info. And the college has their own financial aid form, but it asks for the same info as the FAFSA so at least we don't have to figure out new numbers. We filed our FAFSA online Tues. night and yesterday we were notified of our Expected Family Contribution. Basically, they think we can clean out our savings accounts and sell off our investments and pay cash for his 1st year! Uhhh, what happened to having some $ in reserve if the furnace dies, or saving for a new car, or heaven forbid medical expenses??? I HATE BEING MIDDLE CLASS!

I told DH that's exactly what we should think about doing.....clean out our savings so next year when we do the financial aid forms we'll be broke and maybe we'll get some money! As if!

 

[snappy]

Amy, I feel your pain.

I feel like I have to keeep working to pay college costs.

At least I can work, so I feel grateful for that. I would prefer not to take out loans or money from out IRA. We are too close to retirement to make that work.


I believe our report said we could contribute about $15 grand annually last year. What a joke.

 

[Sha]

Our dog Buddy is not doing well. I think we're down to counting the days now. It's hard.

Our friend (Pat who had Melanoma) passed away this afternoon. It had gone to his lungs and the doctors had said he only had weeks to live. I know he was ready. Hopefully his family was as well.

Hugs to you and prayers for you and your family about Buddy.... and for Pat's family and ALL his friends.

 

[MerryPoppins]

We're leaving in a few minutes to take Buddy to the vet. He's had an even worse day today and his sad eyes are telling me it is time. It's such a hard thing to do, but it's right. We're all giving him lots of love and saying our goodbyes.

I openly admit I haven't caught up. It's been a long old day. GAGWTA, and I hope you're all doing okay.

I think we're going for a bite to eat (if any of us can swallow anything) and maybe to a movie after the vet. We just need to get out for a while for a change of scenery.

 

[snappy]

My heart is with you and your family and BUDDY, Merry.

God bless you all.

 

[snappy]

One of my friends who I went to lunch with yesterday sent me this last night.
At the time when we are all thinking of buddy, I thought I would cut and paste it here. You may have already received this from other sources so please forgive me if I am repeating it.


A Dog's Purpose (from a 6-year-old)

Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish Wolfhound named Belker. The dog's owners, Ron, his wife Lisa, and their little boy Shane, were all very attached to Belker, and they were hoping for a miracle.

I examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer. I told the family we couldn't do anything for Belker, and offered to perform the euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home.

As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it would be good for six-year-old Shane to observe the procedure. They felt as though Shane might learn something from the experience.

The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker's family surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the last time, that I wondered if he understood what was going on. Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away.

The little boy seemed to accept Belker's transition without any difficulty or confusion. We sat together for a while after Belker's death, wondering aloud about the sad fact that animal lives are shorter than human lives. Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up, "I know why."

Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his mouth next stunned me. I'd never heard a more comforting explanation.

He said, "People are born so that they can learn how to live a good life - - like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right?" The six-year-old continued, "Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don't have to stay as long."

Live simply.

Love generously.

Care deeply.

Speak kindly.

Remember, if a dog was the teacher you would learn things like:

When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.

Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.

Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.

Take naps.

Stretch before rising.

Run, romp, and play daily.

Thrive on attention and let people touch you.

Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.

On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.

On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.

When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.

Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.

Be loyal.

Never pretend to be something you're not.

If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.

When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle them gently.

ENJOY EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY!



Me again. I cried at the beginning and smiled in the end.

 

[Amy]

Merry, lots of to you and your family. I know how hard this is for you.

Snappy, what a beautiful story!

 

[Pea-n-Me]

OMG, Merry - I'm so sorry about Buddy.

 

[Sha]

One of my friends who I went to lunch with yesterday sent me this last night.
At the time when we are all thinking of buddy, I thought I would cut and paste it here. You may have already received this from other sources so please forgive me if I am repeating it.


A Dog's Purpose (from a 6-year-old)

Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish Wolfhound named Belker. The dog's owners, Ron, his wife Lisa, and their little boy Shane, were all very attached to Belker, and they were hoping for a miracle.

I examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer. I told the family we couldn't do anything for Belker, and offered to perform the euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home.

As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it would be good for six-year-old Shane to observe the procedure. They felt as though Shane might learn something from the experience.

The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker's family surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the last time, that I wondered if he understood what was going on. Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away.

The little boy seemed to accept Belker's transition without any difficulty or confusion. We sat together for a while after Belker's death, wondering aloud about the sad fact that animal lives are shorter than human lives. Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up, "I know why."

Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his mouth next stunned me. I'd never heard a more comforting explanation.

He said, "People are born so that they can learn how to live a good life - - like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right?" The six-year-old continued, "Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don't have to stay as long."

Live simply.

Love generously.

Care deeply.

Speak kindly.

Remember, if a dog was the teacher you would learn things like:

When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.

Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.

Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.

Take naps.

Stretch before rising.

Run, romp, and play daily.

Thrive on attention and let people touch you.

Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.

On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.

On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.

When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.

Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.

Be loyal.

Never pretend to be something you're not.

If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.

When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle them gently.

ENJOY EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY!



Me again. I cried at the beginning and smiled in the end.

Lovely story... thanks... I wonder what it would say for a cat... yesterday was 5 months since I let George go...

 

[NHAnn]

Oh no, MerryP....my heart aches for you and your family

Laurie...thank you for sharing that!! What very appropriate thoughts for all of us on any day: enjoy every moment!!

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Yes, great story, Laurie. I believe I received that recently also.

Ann, have you dug yourself out up there yet? We had to spring for a new snowblower this year and DH said that will guarantee we won't have snow! (Which of course we haven't since we bought it )

Merry, how are you doing tonight?