Dis Breast Cancer Survivors Part II -GAGWTA!

[gemjoy]

gemjoy- I'm so sorry you are going through this. One of our go to websites on the GAGWTA thread is http://www.breastcancer.org/symptoms/testing/biopsy.jsp and I've sent their link about biopsies.
I went through what you are going through exactly 10 yrs ago. I started out seeing my gyn for pain in my ovary which ended up being nothing, but she discovered a lump in my left breast. It was small, like a little pea. That was in Oct. In Nov. I had my first Mammogram and they also did an ultrasound. The radiologist was very concerned, she actually stamped HIGHLY SUSPICIOUS FOR MALIGNANCY on my report, and said I must see a surgeon ASAP. I met with him and he did not feel it was BC (he is a whole other story ) but he was aggressive enough to want to remove it anyway. The type of biopsy I had was excisional, a surgery where he removed the entire lump. In my case it was cancer...but hey, I'm still here! I hope you do hang out here, there's lots of knowledge and support on this thread and we are happy to have you here in spite of the awful circumstances.

Thanks Laurabelle. I woke up today thinking... "It's a new day, I'm not going to worry until I have something to worry about" haha... fast forward about twenty minutes into my cup of coffee and I'm now laughing to myself and thinking okay smartie pants... you DO have something to worry about ~ remember that little lump in your armpit!!!

I'll give you all a little history on why I know that I'm going to worry until this is resolved. Seven years ago I lost my brother-in-law to lung cancer - he never smoked a day in his life. He was only 36 with three children ages 2,4 and 6. Needless to say, my sister was beyond devistated - we all were. It was a huge loss to our entire family and it hit us hard. I thought that the worst had happened and although it would take time... we would eventually heal.
In February of 2005 our world came crashing down when my DH was diagnosed with hodgkins Lymphoma. We found a HUGE mass under his arm - the Dr. called it "impressive" it measured 4x6 inches. Immediate scans revealed a tumor under his collarbone and in his chest cavity. It was crazy how fast things were happening. He had surgery to remove the large tumor under his arm and spent the next year undergoing massive doses of chemo and radiation followed leaving him with third degree burns under his arm. The hair under his arm has never grown back and dd and ds find it funny... we laugh with them and thank god that he's still with us. Three years later DH is doing great! his oncologist still sends him for scans and labwork and we have been extremely blessed. At first it really bothered me that they wouldn't call him "cured" but rather in remission - due to the fact that it was invasive and in three locations and that it was "lymphoma". I've learned to accept that. Phewww... that was alot of information ~ sorry.

That brings me to today ~ and I find myself feeling a bit annoyed and upset at myself because I know I shouldn't feel that way. After all.. what gives me the right to immunity? It doesn't matter that I feel like I've paid my dues. And to top it all off... I don't even know if I really need to worry yet. But I can't help it My intuition is screaming something bad is happening here. And I'm realizing that maybe I'm just scared to death of Cancer in general. It has hurt me and my loved ones and It is my enemy, therefore my guard is up and I'm making myself sick.

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

GAGWTA, Ladies!

Laura - We typically do 9 nights and it still feels short! Even the 16 nighter this summer felt short, but that was partly because it kept RAINING and partly because we kept bouncing from resort to resort.
I promised DS he can invite 5 friends to go to Great Wolf Lodge for his birthday, but we haven't booked it yet because his birthday is Super Bowl weekend. We are doubting that DH will be able to take off Friday and Saturday so we are kind of in a holding pattern. The thing is, Friday is an early dismissal day and the rate for that night is lower than the week before or the week after so I am hoping DH will be able to work it out.

teacups - I am sorry to hear of your MIL's diagnosis! I don't have any suggestions for you, but I wanted to welcome you to the thread!

Maureen - Hopefully the new antibiotic is working!

One of my favorite quotes is "Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die." - Malachy McCourt
I try to remember it, even though it is easier for me in theory than in practice.

I can not tell you all how happy I am that it is FINALLY Friday. I am running on fumes. I am going to stay home this weekend and try to regain some of my, something. Balance? Sanity? Focus? All are in extremely short supply.

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

Gemjoy - I am so sorry you are dealing with this! Sending you lots of wishes for peace while you wait for answers.

 

[snappy]

Gemjoy, thanks for sharing a bit of your history. I can see clearly how nervous you must be.

You are right, cancer is the enemy. but you sound like an extremely strong woman. I do believe you are up to this.
I am betting your family members will be a great source of support while you navigate the waters of finding out what this lump is about.

We'll be along for the ride too.

JSK, you sound like you are due a weekend off. Time to enjoy a glass of good wine or a frozen drink tonight to start off the weekend?

I laid in a supply of logs for the fireplace, and DH made a stop at his favorite wine store so we are set. I am hoping he does not have to work all weekend again. DD13 has an overnight birthday party to go to and I would sure like to have a relaxing evening without DH's work looming in the am.

He really needs to do some stuff around the house, inside but especially outside. I am waiting for a letter from the homeowner's group telling us to clean up our act or ship out. We need some serious housewashing, window cleaning, all that stuff. Maybe we will have a house working evening rather than a cozy evening.

Maybe we should pay DS20 adn DD18 to work around the house rather than try and get a job during semester break?
Not sure how much effort we would see. Hmmm, it is a thought though.

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

Laurie - Good luck with your home improvement tasks!
I think a cozy evening sounds perfect! You can worry about the other stuff another time. Like AFTER you get a notice of non-compliance from your HOA!

 

[lookingforward]

gemjoy...hang in. I agree that cancer is the enemy and I am truly sorry for your difficult experiences with it. It stinks, and I too fear dying of the big C. It is a daily challenge to keep my perspective and not worry too much about a recurrance. My boss at work had lymphoma and is six years out and doing GREAT! His oncologist pronounced him cured at five years!

My infection seems a tiny bit better so the doctor said that they are going to keep me over the weekend in an effort to NOT send me home with IV antibiotics. My veins are so fragile from chemo and the blood clot that they are going to do all to prevent that. I am more than willing to sit here this weekend to avoid a pic line!

All the best to everyone!

 

[gemjoy]

gemjoy...hang in. I agree that cancer is the enemy and I am truly sorry for your difficult experiences with it. It stinks, and I too fear dying of the big C. It is a daily challenge to keep my perspective and not worry too much about a recurrance. My boss at work had lymphoma and is six years out and doing GREAT! His oncologist pronounced him cured at five years!

My infection seems a tiny bit better so the doctor said that they are going to keep me over the weekend in an effort to NOT send me home with IV antibiotics. My veins are so fragile from chemo and the blood clot that they are going to do all to prevent that. I am more than willing to sit here this weekend to avoid a pic line!

All the best to everyone!

Thanks lookingforward! That is great news that the Dr. pronounced him cured after 5 years!!! I would be so happy to hear those words for DH!

BTW ~ although I'm not yet up to date on what everyone here is dealing with at the moment... it's obvious that you're having some issues and for that I am truly sorry. I hope today is a good day for you.. and that tomorrow is even better and fingers crossed for NO pic line! You take care.

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

Maureen- I am glad the infection is responding to the meds! I hope it continues to go well and that you can go home on Monday!

Gemjoy - My mom was diagnosed with stage III breast cancer in March. She had surgery in June. She is currently undergoing chemo and is scheduled to start radiation after the holidays. She does her very best to ignore everything I say, even if I say something important. So yesterday I decided not to say anything else.

 

[lookingforward]

Thanks lookingforward! That is great news that the Dr. pronounced him cured after 5 years!!! I would be so happy to hear those words for DH!

BTW ~ although I'm not yet up to date on what everyone here is dealing with at the moment... it's obvious that you're having some issues and for that I am truly sorry. I hope today is a good day for you.. and that tomorrow is even better and fingers crossed for NO pic line! You take care.

Gemjoy, I am finishing up one year of treatment (chemo, radiation, reconstruction) for stage 2 breast cancer. I had reconstruciton surgery in October and have an infection in my left breast. Its minor compared to what I have been through, but I am in the hospital for treatment. Its always something!

 

[snappy]

Gemjoy, I am 4 years out from my mastectomy, 2 years out from reconstruction.

My mother was diagnosed in September with BC, and had her mastectomy and immediate recon in October.
She had surgery this MOnday for a srather large squamous cell area on her leg. She is a fighter though. She has even gone swimming at her gym twice since her October surgery and is itching to get her leg healed so she resume her exercise regimen in full force.

She is a 78 year old dynamo although lately looking a bit on the fragile side. I like to think it is temporary.

 

[gemjoy]

Gemjoy - My mom was diagnosed with stage III breast cancer in March. She had surgery in June. She is currently undergoing chemo and is scheduled to start radiation after the holidays. She does her very best to ignore everything I say, even if I say something important. So yesterday I decided not to say anything else.

I'm sorry about your mother... I know how difficult it is to watch a loved one go through that kind of treatment ~ you feel helpless. And even though she tries to ignore you I'm pretty sure that deep down it means the world to her that you're concerned and trying to help in any way you can... she's just not going to admit it.

 

[SeaSpray]

GAGWTA...


Well, today's the day. DH and I just got home from working a half day, and in a few minutes we'll be driving to Boston to find out whether I tested positive for the gene mutation. I just finished printing out MapQuest directions.

So..the next time I sign onto the DIS boards, at least I'll know.

Thanks for letting me be a part of this thread so far.

 

[lookingforward]

GAGWTA...


Well, today's the day. DH and I just got home from working a half day, and in a few minutes we'll be driving to Boston to find out whether I tested positive for the gene mutation. I just finished printing out MapQuest directions.

So..the next time I sign onto the DIS boards, at least I'll know.

Thanks for letting me be a part of this thread so far.

I hope you get great news! We are here for you no matter what. My thoughts will be with you today. Let us know when you can!

 

[MerryPoppins]

And I'm realizing that maybe I'm just scared to death of Cancer in general. It has hurt me and my loved ones and It is my enemy, therefore my guard is up and I'm making myself sick.

Being scared is normal. We've all been there. I think the waiting is the worst. And your family's history makes you even more gun-shy. You just need to try to relax until you have more information...the old "don't bleed until you're shot" story. I love that line.

I'm glad that you see cancer as the enemy and have your guard up. IF you do have cancer (and I'm not saying you do), this attitude will be of benefit to you. You'd just need to find a way to turn the "making myself sick" into making you ready to fight the fight. Around here you'll see lots of living proof that this beast can be beat. It's not fun, but it's do-able. And after it was all said and done, it made me stronger.

Teacups, waiting for diagnosis or to begin treatment is the hardest time. More than anything I wanted prayers. The outpouring of love from my friends and family kept me going. One friend went on vacations and while away found a breast cancer pin at a Hard Rock Cafe. She brought it back to me. Another baked me a batch of chocolate chip cookies and brought them by. I cherish a little breast cancer teddy that a friend gave me. She is small, so she went with me to all my doctors visits in my purse, she was with me when I went to surgery and when I woke up, she was with me for my hospital stay. She still sits on a shelf near my bed. I know stuffed animals aren't for everyone, but cancer brought out the child in me I guess. You could start putting together a care package for surgery/recovery. Think about what she particularly likes to do and might feel up to doing in those early days after treatment. We can help with ideas if you need them. Meals are always good. Give some thought to the fact that holidays are coming up. What could be done to make the holiday happier if she is in the hospital or can't do what she normally does. You are a peach for trying to brainstorm how you can be the most help. She's lucky to have you.

Maureen, I'm glad they're keeping you a bit longer. Better to go home without the worries. Besides, you want to be feeling good for Thanksgiving, right? You'll have so much to be thankful for this year! Have you read any good books while you've been there?

I'm feeling a little better. This cold is still hanging on, but it's nothing serious...just a nuisance. I'm coughing, but it's all in my throat. I'm still praying I'll be well enough for tomorrow's football game, but I'm getting nervous.

For those of you who are new, I'm 7 years cancer-free. I had a mastectomy in the fall of 2001 with no reconstruction.

 

[MerryPoppins]

I should have quoted more. I left out Seaspray. I said a prayer and I've got my fingers crossed. Please let us know what you find out.

GAGWTA to the rest of you. My brain is fuzzy from my medicine and I can't think who else I forgot...but I love you all.

 

[gemjoy]

MerryPoppins ~ Thanks for the kind words. I absolutely love that saying... "Don't bleed until you're shot"!!! In fact ~ I'm going to live by those words until my biopsy on December 9th (Dr. called this afternoon with my appt. date) thanks!

And to everyone here that I still don't quite know ~ You are all amazing women and so strong and I'm just so touched by all you've been through and continue to go through and as my sister and I used to tell her DH... and then my DH... "just keep fighting the fight"!!! I clicked on this thread and found so much good inside... so thank~you to all of you!

 

[teacups]

~~~***GAGWTA sistas***~~~


teacups- I'm sorry your MIL has been dxed. This is such a difficult time as no one has the plan yet, but once that's in place and whatever treatment she receives begins, you will have a better handle on what you can do for her. I'm also so, so sorry to hear you lost your brother. Was it cancer? I can imagine how this is all taking you back. You are smart to remind yourself that these are two different cases.
Things that people who were not nearby did that helped me tremendously were prayers...that was #1. I also received nice little notes and small care packages, just little things to brighten my day. You are more than welcome to hang out here too, we love having supporters here!

Yes... that makes sense. Treatment plan = action.
Yes, my brother had several cancers. Changed me forever. I am deffo a supporter. Maybe a supporter who has no action plan, but it will come in time! Thank You!

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

Terry - Thinking of you and hoping your news is good!

Gemjoy - I know it will feel like the days are dragging while you wait for the biopsy! Feel free to chat with us to pass the time.

Teacups - It is tough to be an observer/supporter. Hopefully your MIL will appreciate your concern and let you help when she needs help!

 

[SeaSpray]

I hope you get great news! We are here for you no matter what. My thoughts will be with you today. Let us know when you can!

I should have quoted more. I left out Seaspray. I said a prayer and I've got my fingers crossed. Please let us know what you find out.

GAGWTA to the rest of you. My brain is fuzzy from my medicine and I can't think who else I forgot...but I love you all.

Terry - Thinking of you and hoping your news is good!

I did not inherit the genetic mutation. I almost couldn't believe the geneticist when she first told me! In fact, she didn't even wait until we were in the room with the oncologist; she said "The doctor has great news for you! I didn't want you to have to walk down this long hallway to the exam room, having to wonder".

You know, my sister is the first person that I called as DH and I were leaving the hospital and I felt almost guilty telling her. (She had breast cancer 9 years ago, followed by a double mastectomy and 2 different types of reconstruction due to problems with infections which she fought for years, which ended only a couple of years ago). She was extremely relieved for me, as I knew she would be. Now, we still have to wait and see how my DNiece37 (her DD) tests! DNiece hasn't had blood drawn yet to test, but she will have it done when she's ready to. I had even prayed that if one of us was to have it, it'd be me. I hope she tests ok too! Now I don't have to worry about the possibility of having passed this on to my DSs.

Anyway, thanks to all of you for letting me come here and "talk". I don't want to leave all of you just because I've tested negative because I don't want to appear like I "used" the thread while I needed it, and now leaving because I don't.

While I don't understand most of the technical talk (the abbreviations) that some of you use, I do extend sincere thoughts to each of you. I will still stop in, if that's ok with you I think I still can't quite believe that I got good news about this today, it hasn't sunk all the way in yet. I think I was really expecting bad news, and had already begun to accept it.

 

[lookingforward]

I did not inherit the genetic mutation. I almost couldn't believe the geneticist when she first told me! In fact, she didn't even wait until we were in the room with the oncologist; she said "The doctor has great news for you! I didn't want you to have to walk down this long hallway to the exam room, having to wonder".

You know, my sister is the first person that I called as DH and I were leaving the hospital and I felt almost guilty telling her. (She had breast cancer 9 years ago, followed by a double mastectomy and 2 different types of reconstruction due to problems with infections which she fought for years, which ended only a couple of years ago). She was extremely relieved for me, as I knew she would be. Now, we still have to wait and see how my DNiece37 (her DD) tests! DNiece hasn't had blood drawn yet to test, but she will have it done when she's ready to. I had even prayed that if one of us was to have it, it'd be me. I hope she tests ok too! Now I don't have to worry about the possibility of having passed this on to my DSs.

Anyway, thanks to all of you for letting me come here and "talk". I don't want to leave all of you just because I've tested negative because I don't want to appear like I "used" the thread while I needed it, and now leaving because I don't.

While I don't understand most of the technical talk (the abbreviations) that some of you use, I do extend sincere thoughts to each of you. I will still stop in, if that's ok with you I think I still can't quite believe that I got good news about this today, it hasn't sunk all the way in yet. I think I was really expecting bad news, and had already begun to accept it.

I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That said, please don't feel that you have to go away from us. Just having family that has breast cancer makes this thread a nice refuge! I am so glad you got good news. I was thinking about you today!