Dilema

[allisonswonderland]

What do you all think about guests bringing dates to the wedding? I have had to limit my numbers due to the large number of family my fiance is required to invite and am having a hard time since there is a lot of family being left out on my side. I am just not sure how I feel about guests bringing people I have never met to my wedding which knocked someone else in my family off--- does that make sense? the people who are not married are who I am talking about and it is not like they do not know anyone else....let me know. I am sure you all wll think I am awful, 1st no kids and now no dates. This is just expensive and I have to cut someplace and I would rather it but people I do not know than family and friends.

 

[hmgolden]

I think the ettiqutte rule is that if a guest is engaged, or involved in a serious relationship, you should invite them with with a date. If your guest is single, its perfectly acceptable to invite them without a date.

 

[Button]

I know where you are coming from. It's one of the main reasons that we choose marrying overseas.

As we're having an intimate we are automatically limited to numbers. Have both my sister and best mate who are manless at moment. Who knows if they will be attached next year?! If they are then I've said the'd only be able to come to our eveing meal.

Remember it's your day and you should have the people you want with you.

 

[IrishCinderella]

I would say that you are not required to invite single people with guests unless they are in a long-term committed relationship with said guest. I know this is what my fiance and I are going to do; I have a huge family, but a lot of his friends are still single. So we picked family over strangers...

But...if you are inviting anybody who won't know a lot of the other people attending the wedding (ie: co-workers or the like), it would make them more comfortable to be able to bring someone else they know well. You won't have a lot of the time to occupy each person individually, so they would have their guest to hang with .

 

[JandJ]

I know what you mean too! It's hard to narrow the list but you have to sometimes. We had an Intimate Wedding and so we were already down to 9 guests. My best friend of 10 years was the only non-family member invited, but my parents always considered her like their own daughter and she was the one who introduced my husband to me - we wouldn't have been there without her! She is in a relationship for over 1 year and they are talking about getting engaged, but aren't yet, so he was only invited to the day-after brunch and the party at Pleasure Island the next night. They were both fine with that. Of course she knew everyone else there so it wasn't like she felt out-of-place as some single people might. We had to make major cuts and it was hard but honestly, everyone understood. We left out his grandparents (3 of them) and my grandpa and my sister's 2 youngest children. But eveyone knew it was a small wedding, understood the financial constraints, and they received wedding announcements and pictures and were fine with that. I think your true friends will understand. Best of Luck

 

[JonetteA]

We've had to do it to and people are asking if they can bring people. In order to make this work, I have even had to ask friends to come without husbands. The cool part about that is that they know each other, and it will make it a "girls" trip, which believe it or not they are REALLY excited about.

If you think it would offend someone just ask them if they would mind. I found that my close friends understood and were excited to have an excuse to hang out with other friends and just make a party of it.

 

[allisonswonderland]

Thanks everyone--- it is just so hard especially with being a year away- what is considered a serious relationship, my fiance and I have been togther for 6 1/2 years next year when we get married it will be 7! So a long relationship to me is long, not 6 months!

 

[princessblueeyzes]

I would have to agree with hmgolden.

 

[cryssi]

Our rule was unless they were engaged or living together (and even then, maybe not) it was single guest only. I had to say no to some people's guests. However, as it got close to the wedding date, one of my friends asked if she could bring her boyfriend, as he would be her ride to the wedding. We had a lot of no's at that point, so we allowed it...

We were kind of limited as well, and had to cut some family! We chose family over friends, and still had to cut family...

I think it depends on the relationship. The "only if engaged or living together" seemed like a good rule...although I would consider long-term relationship in that too...

c

 

[Luvndisney]

Same situation here. We discussed this poin for hours it seems. In the end we decided the rule was engaged or dating for over 2 years is a serious relationship. Of course we are allowing our bridal party only to bring guests if they are single becasue they are traveling all that way to be part of our day...it was only fair.

Just stand your ground once you make the decision. We had a family member come to us and ask if my fiancee's cousin who is 22 could bring her boyfriend as a guest. She claims they have been together for 4 years but if you substract the times they have broken up...well u get the picture. We said no.

 

[WeddingMaid]

I think inviting guests is a waste of your money if it is just a date for the sake of a date.... if it is someone who is significant in the persons life I think they should be invited.

 

[twojo21]

i agree with hmgolden. were not inviting dates with our guests unless theyre engaged or in a long term serious relationship. as for other singles theyre invited on their own, they know their/our family, etc & we wanted to keep our wedding small & close.

 

[UnderTheMistletoe]

Hey-

I say do it by a case-by-case basis. If that person is involved with someone, you should probably invite them. Remember that it is a destination wedding and they could get very lonely and bored if they don't know anyone and are spending any amount of time before or after the wedding in Orlando. Etiquette dictates EVERY guest over the age of 18 be accompanied by a guest. Doesn't means it's feesible in today's world of inflated prices. And if they're going to know a bunch of the people there, they could be just fine and dandy without a date/escort!

Have you looked into running an A and B round of invitations? We did to get around the olbligatory invites and find out what the word was on attendance there. From those responses, we guaged how many we had room and budgeted for and sent the invitations out one-by-one. Leaving ourselves two months, we have plenty of time to play with it. As it stands, we are still 30 less than what we had reasonably budgeted for... a lot declined becuase of the time of year, crowds, and prices. Don't be surprised if you end up with more room than you expected

 

[Laurafoster]

I agree with that too - if the person is in a serious relationship and has been for a long time then i would invite them. Otherwise i wouldnt - its added expense.

 

[Codie]

Same situation here. We discussed this poin for hours it seems. In the end we decided the rule was engaged or dating for over 2 years is a serious relationship. Of course we are allowing our bridal party only to bring guests if they are single becasue they are traveling all that way to be part of our day...it was only fair.

Just stand your ground once you make the decision. We had a family member come to us and ask if my fiancee's cousin who is 22 could bring her boyfriend as a guest. She claims they have been together for 4 years but if you substract the times they have broken up...well u get the picture. We said no.

We did not invite dates unless it was someone who would not know anyone else and/or if they were live-in partners. We had nobody who we invited with a date bring a date. We DID however have relatives who simply responded with an extra number in their party. They didn't even indicate WHO the extra person was. We knew that it was the one relatives b/f, but no one ever asked if he could come and/or told us who the extra person was. I had to pull teeth just to figure out how to spell his name for his place card. My point is...no matter how much you worry and try to figure it out...someone will pull the rug out. Try to just swing with it and make it work I know it is tougher with the intimate limitations (I had a custom--but quite frankly at $150ish per person, it is aggravating either way!!!).

By the day of my wedding the motto for my matron of honor and I became, "Or just do it however YOU want!"