antnee
Chasing Amy
- Joined
- Feb 17, 2000
- Messages
- 1,502
> DILBERT'S RULES OF ORDER
> > 1. I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day.
> > Tomorrow is not looking good either.
> > 2. I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make
> > as they go flying by.
> > 3. Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without
> > it.
> > 4. Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days the statue.
> > 5. Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there
> > the first time, chances are you won't be needing him again.
> > 6. I don't have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem.
> > 7. Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky, and I
> > thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?
> > 8. My reality check bounced.
> > 9. On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
> > 10. I don't suffer from stress. I am a carrier.
> > 11. You are slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut
> > butter.
> > 12. Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, because you are crunchy
> > and taste good with ketchup.
> > 13. Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
> > 14. Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level, then
> > beat you with experience.
> > 15. A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the
> > butt.
> >
> > 16. Don't be irreplaceable -- if you can't be replaced, you can't be
> > promoted.
> > 17. After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the
> > month than you did before.
> > 18. The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.
> > 19. You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a
> > clipboard.
> > 20. Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse
> > will happen to you the rest of the day.
> > 21. If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
> > 22. When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
> > 23. Following the rules will not get the job done.
> > 24. When confronted by a difficult problem, you can solve it more
> > easily by reducing it to the question, "How would the Lone Ranger
> handle this?"
>
>
> --
> Today is your present, make the
> most of it;
> Tomorrow is not promised, don't
> count on it;
> God is real, have faith in Him.
> > 1. I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day.
> > Tomorrow is not looking good either.
> > 2. I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make
> > as they go flying by.
> > 3. Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without
> > it.
> > 4. Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days the statue.
> > 5. Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there
> > the first time, chances are you won't be needing him again.
> > 6. I don't have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem.
> > 7. Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky, and I
> > thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?
> > 8. My reality check bounced.
> > 9. On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
> > 10. I don't suffer from stress. I am a carrier.
> > 11. You are slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut
> > butter.
> > 12. Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, because you are crunchy
> > and taste good with ketchup.
> > 13. Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
> > 14. Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level, then
> > beat you with experience.
> > 15. A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the
> > butt.
> >
> > 16. Don't be irreplaceable -- if you can't be replaced, you can't be
> > promoted.
> > 17. After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the
> > month than you did before.
> > 18. The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.
> > 19. You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a
> > clipboard.
> > 20. Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse
> > will happen to you the rest of the day.
> > 21. If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
> > 22. When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
> > 23. Following the rules will not get the job done.
> > 24. When confronted by a difficult problem, you can solve it more
> > easily by reducing it to the question, "How would the Lone Ranger
> handle this?"
>
>
> --
> Today is your present, make the
> most of it;
> Tomorrow is not promised, don't
> count on it;
> God is real, have faith in Him.
