Difficult life stages

[grinningghost]

I think I'm going through one of those times in life that's going to make me sad for a while. My DD14 used to be VERY close to my mom and dad. She spent every weekend with them, and they loved it. Now all that's changed. When we go to my parents' house, she can't wait to leave because it's "boring" there. I know my mom and dad are sad about it, but they pretend not to be. I feel bad for them.

Have you gone through a sudden difficult change in your life that made you feel kind of weird?

 

[Serena]

Yeah

 

[Cruisin]

grinningghost

Are your parents treating her appropriately for her age. We had/have that problem also. Our daughter used to spend time with my MIL. Unfortunately my daughter grew up, is now 16 and my MIL still thinks she is 8. Grandma wants her to come over and do crafts and stuff like they used to do. That is just not age appropriate any more for my daughter. At one point she had a boyfriend and I tried to explain to my MIL that maybe she should invite them both over together. Well that is not what she wanted, (cause she did not approve of her having a boyfriend).
I have at least learned from this experience. I will try to stay current with the different stages of my grandchildren's lives and to do with them what they find interesting.
Maybe you can suggest to the grandparents different things that might interest your daughter, eg. an afternoon shopping, lunch out at a restaurant, whatever appeals to your daughter.
Good luck and hopefully they can reconnect some time soon.

 

[grinningghost]

That's just it Cruisin', I think my mom has been very good about staying up to date on what's age appropriate - and it doesn't seem to mean much to DD. I think I might need to have a talk with her about appreciating her grandparents while they're still around.

Thanks for the response, it's good to know these kinds of things happen to other people too - and we all survive somehow.

 

[Cruisin]

Unfortunately when we are 14 we don't understand the good things that we have in our lives and how grateful we should be for them.

It is only when we are "grown-up" that we realize the error of our ways.

Good luck.

 

[grinningghost]

Originally posted by Cruisin'Kroezes
Unfortunately when we are 14 we don't understand the good things that we have in our lives and how grateful we should be for them.

It is only when we are "grown-up" that we realize the error of our ways.

Very very well said.

 

[battricia]

I think it would be good if you had a talk with your daughter. When I was 14 I spent time at my grandparents house often, and I'm thankful that I did because after I turned 16 my grandfather got very ill and died soon after. And I thank goodness that I got to spend the time with him that I did. It did help that my cousins that were my age were also around sometimes, but even when they weren't, I'd watch the price is right and soap operas with my grandma, and helped my grandpa with his garden, etc. It was very hard on all of us cousins, when he passed away, probably because we were all so close with him. There were times we didn't like him, and times that we had great fun with him, but I'm glad that we all appreciate them as much as we do.. sometimes I hear kids talk about when their grandmother passed away or their grandfather, and they say it so nonchalantly, and it makes me so sad, whenever I talk about my grandfather I usually share a funny story, and when my cousins and I get to gether we share the stories as well. "remember when.." kind of thing. So I think you should just talk to your daughter and maybe say she should appreciate the time she gets to spend with them, and not act ungreatful, and since your parents are so understanding, maybe you can tell her to suggest some ideas to make her time there more enjoyable, like a card game, or yatzee or something like that, something that gets everyone involved rather than just the adults (talking about adult things) or just the kids... if you know what I mean? Goodluck and I hope that this helps.

tricia.