different traveling styles

[abmitch01]

I'm planning a trip in Nov with my DBF of a year. This is our first trip we're taking together. He's never been to Disney. I've been probably 6 times all prior to 2013. When I go to Disney, I'm a planner, I use the Unofficial Guide's Touring Plans, pick days with low crowds, go when the rope drops, and plan our fast passes. We stayed on property once but found we preferred staying in a nearby condo or house. We went with my two kids, my parents and my brother usually. They were all fine with me planning our days because they knew it meant less time waiting in lines. and getting the absolute most out of our Disney dollars

DBF can't even decide if he wants to go for a whole week, he keeps flip flopping. He's Egyptian-American and he travels home at the last minute a lot and gets good airfare deals. So he doesn't want to get plane tickets, condo reservations or buy tickets until like two months before, if not later. He also likes to sleep in and doesn't like rides that spin or go up in the air. He doesn't mind if I go on them but he's going to miss out on so much! I'm gonna have to slow way down, plan time at the pool and not be controlling. I don't know if I can, lol, it's DISNEY!

I thought of one compromise- I can go at rope drop, let him sleep and ride some of the rides he wouldn't like and then pick him up later. Are we doomed? Any other couples like this? I really want to go even if it won't be my idea of the perfect Disney trip. I just have to re-train my brain to think of Disney as an actual vacation and not a full time job, lol.

 

[MusicalAstronaut]

Yeahhhhh. My husband is like that, and he stubbornly dug in on not wanting to plan our first Disney trip together. I ended up with a cranky, tired, hungry man on my hands at 8pm on a Saturday in a totally packed Magic Kingdom. He refused to eat QS food, saying he wanted to sit down. It was laughable at that point that he wanted to stroll into the Crystal Palace and "put our names on the list". There's no list - every restaurant was booked solid. We waited in 1.5 hour lines as he got more & more grumpy about how many people were there. I would say, plan things even if he doesn't want to. You can always cancel or change ADRs and Fastpasses, but you can't get always get them at the last second. Also plan out breaks. DH & I are going next week, and I literally have "Pool time" on our schedule, because I know he's going to tire of the parks and need that break. You will have to let go a bit and slow down, but that can be fun! What's not fun is waiting for hours in lines & eating nothing but hot dogs (when he wants a steak in the air conditioning) in the name of "winging it". I plan out my trips but frequently half of the stuff I plan goes out the window once I get there, haha. You can go with the flow AND plan ahead.

 

[abmitch01]

that's good advice

 

[Lilsia]

Yeah, my husband does not mind if I do the planning. He is more the type to just go with whatever I do. But there are things he will not ride because it makes him sick. He just waits for us to get done, no big deal. I would say that booking a flight to vacation destination Orlando is not the same as booking to Egypt. They do sell out and sales are few and far between during busy times. You might have to explain this to him. Also a vacation at a busy theme park will take more planning then just "going home". Good luck.

 

[StageTek]

He also likes to sleep in and doesn't like rides that spin or go up in the air. He doesn't mind if I go on them but he's going to miss out on so much! I'm gonna have to slow way down, plan time at the pool and not be controlling. I don't know if I can, lol, it's DISNEY!

I get ya! I take a couple of solo trips (or with my Disney-loving friends) to take in everything the "Disney" way.

When I go with my GF I travel her way. I think she is missing things - she has fun without the "stress". Even though she says she doesn't mind if I Rope Drop I don't do it. Even though she says I can stay in Epcot right up to closing, I don't. We don't go on rides she doesn't like even though I know she would like it if she gave it a try. She'll indulge me on most of my favs like CoP and Spaceship Earth.

What makes the trips fun for me is giving her what she wants. Up late, short trip to a park, plenty of pool time, cocktails at one of the bars and a short trip back to a park for a few hours. I'll get FP's and gently guide her to that area during the window. I'll make a few TS reservations and we usually make them - and she's pleased that we do. Like you, I feel we're missing a lot - but she doesn't see it that way, so I adjust. And keep the trip short...

 

[abmitch01]

you are very good to her and it sounds like you still have a nice time

 

[wisteria1019]

I'm all for compromise and understand the complexities of relationships. That being said, must you travel together? If one person is not enthusiastic about the type of trip, can you simply enjoy individual pursuits for a short time now and then? I know for myself that when someone chooses to indulge my whim and complains or is visibly not having a good time, I am miserable. I have put on a happy face and gone with the flow for the ones that I love, but knew that we would have all been happier if we had gone it alone for a particular activity, trip etc...

 

[abmitch01]

He's never seen Disney and really wants to go. He's excited. But he's only been to one amusement park in his life so he has no idea of the scope of Disney. I think giving him time to sleep in and me to go do attractions he might not like might be the best way to compromise for us. And having meetings ahead of time and planning things together so he can have input. I wonder if they still have that travel Disney DVD? Maybe I'll try to order that for him so he can get a feeling of what it's like.

 

[Helvetica]

What about meeting up at Lunch in the parks and have your fast passes scheduled for after you meet up?

You can go to rope drop and get some stuff done and he’d still get to enjoy the parks. If he gets tired he can always go back to the hotel while you close down the park.

 

[brad813]

I'm planning a trip in Nov with my DBF of a year. This is our first trip we're taking together. He's never been to Disney. I've been probably 6 times all prior to 2013. When I go to Disney, I'm a planner, I use the Unofficial Guide's Touring Plans, pick days with low crowds, go when the rope drops, and plan our fast passes. We stayed on property once but found we preferred staying in a nearby condo or house. We went with my two kids, my parents and my brother usually. They were all fine with me planning our days because they knew it meant less time waiting in lines. and getting the absolute most out of our Disney dollars

DBF can't even decide if he wants to go for a whole week, he keeps flip flopping. He's Egyptian-American and he travels home at the last minute a lot and gets good airfare deals. So he doesn't want to get plane tickets, condo reservations or buy tickets until like two months before, if not later. He also likes to sleep in and doesn't like rides that spin or go up in the air. He doesn't mind if I go on them but he's going to miss out on so much! I'm gonna have to slow way down, plan time at the pool and not be controlling. I don't know if I can, lol, it's DISNEY!

I thought of one compromise- I can go at rope drop, let him sleep and ride some of the rides he wouldn't like and then pick him up later. Are we doomed? Any other couples like this? I really want to go even if it won't be my idea of the perfect Disney trip. I just have to re-train my brain to think of Disney as an actual vacation and not a full time job, lol.

I get being a planner, but when you mentioned him being Egyptian-American, that actually explained a lot. A lot of people from overseas or from immigrant families don't like to plan because they usually don't have to in their home countries. I have close friends like this. I do suggest using a touring plan as a loose suggestion, and your compromise does seem to be a good option you may want to discuss with him. Another option is perhaps you could meet for breakfast or lunch a little later in the day and do the rest of the day together from there.

 

[abmitch01]

I get being a planner, but when you mentioned him being Egyptian-American, that actually explained a lot. A lot of people from overseas or from immigrant families don't like to plan because they usually don't have to in their home countries. I have close friends like this. I do suggest using a touring plan as a loose suggestion, and your compromise does seem to be a good option you may want to discuss with him. Another option is perhaps you could meet for breakfast or lunch a little later in the day and do the rest of the day together from there.

I never knew that about people from overseas. I'm always amazed when he says on a Tues that he's leaving for 4 days in Egypt on Thurs and he decided the whole thing on Monday night. And he gets airfare for like $150 each way and rooms for cheap in gorgeous resorts. It's unbelievable. So that's why he's looking at me like I have 3 heads when I want to book airfare and condo now and buy our park tickets. Explains a lot.

 

[abmitch01]

I just spoke with him, we're going to go in Nov and book our flights and condo and get park tix 2 mos ahead. That gives him time to save up for the trip. I can live with that. I explained about fast passes and how we should order our tix six weeks ahead and I know he did not have a clue what I was talking about. I ordered the Unofficial Guide to WDW but I'm afraid to hand him an 800 pg book just about Disney! It's kind of hard to explain the specialness of Disney to somebody who has only been to one amusement park in their life.

He can't believe a 4 day pass with 2 extra days is $400. That's a big pill to swallow. He thinks you should be able to pay for just the thinks you want to see. But I broke it to him early so he has time to think about it and realize $400 for 6 days isn't too bad. I mean it is what it is

 

[brad813]

I never knew that about people from overseas. I'm always amazed when he says on a Tues that he's leaving for 4 days in Egypt on Thurs and he decided the whole thing on Monday night. And he gets airfare for like $150 each way and rooms for cheap in gorgeous resorts. It's unbelievable. So that's why he's looking at me like I have 3 heads when I want to book airfare and condo now and buy our park tickets. Explains a lot.

I have friends in India that are the same way, and it does take getting used to. Americans tend to be planners, especially given most of us get a maximum of two weeks vacation.

I just spoke with him, we're going to go in Nov and book our flights and condo and get park tix 2 mos ahead. That gives him time to save up for the trip. I can live with that. I explained about fast passes and how we should order our tix six weeks ahead and I know he did not have a clue what I was talking about. I ordered the Unofficial Guide to WDW but I'm afraid to hand him an 800 pg book just about Disney! It's kind of hard to explain the specialness of Disney to somebody who has only been to one amusement park in their life.

He can't believe a 4 day pass with 2 extra days is $400. That's a big pill to swallow. He thinks you should be able to pay for just the thinks you want to see. But I broke it to him early so he has time to think about it and realize $400 for 6 days isn't too bad. I mean it is what it is

The easiest way to explain it to him is that it is 4 parks that cover the land of two cities. My hometown could easily fit in World Showcase with half the space leftover.

 

[wisteria1019]

He's never seen Disney and really wants to go. He's excited. But he's only been to one amusement park in his life so he has no idea of the scope of Disney. I think giving him time to sleep in and me to go do attractions he might not like might be the best way to compromise for us. And having meetings ahead of time and planning things together so he can have input. I wonder if they still have that travel Disney DVD? Maybe I'll try to order that for him so he can get a feeling of what it's like.

The DVD is now a download. Go to the official site to access it there. Or check out the 100s of YouTube vlogs on the subject.

 

[MusicalAstronaut]

I just spoke with him, we're going to go in Nov and book our flights and condo and get park tix 2 mos ahead. That gives him time to save up for the trip. I can live with that. I explained about fast passes and how we should order our tix six weeks ahead and I know he did not have a clue what I was talking about. I ordered the Unofficial Guide to WDW but I'm afraid to hand him an 800 pg book just about Disney! It's kind of hard to explain the specialness of Disney to somebody who has only been to one amusement park in their life.

He can't believe a 4 day pass with 2 extra days is $400. That's a big pill to swallow. He thinks you should be able to pay for just the thinks you want to see. But I broke it to him early so he has time to think about it and realize $400 for 6 days isn't too bad. I mean it is what it is

I would tell him he needs to trust you, lol. People who haven't been to Disney World have NO IDEA about the size & scope of it. If he can trust you to plan the trip he'll have a much better time than if he doesn't. Also, if he thinks it's expensive, OMG LET YOU PLAN IT. If you don't plan AND he thinks it's too expensive already, he's going to have a bad time.

 

[abmitch01]

I did tell him the total property is the size of Manhattan and you can't walk that in a day

 

[brad813]

I did tell him the total property is the size of Manhattan and you can't walk that in a day

More like Manhattan, Queens, Brooklyn, the Bronx, and Staten Island combined, but you don't want to scare him.

 

[abmitch01]

I am a little afraid of scaring him out of this trip, he's not used to taking week long trips in the first place. So I have to proceed with caution. I mean, I can't imagine flying all the way to Egypt and only staying 4 days, including my traveling days! If he does decide to only do 4 days, I'm staying the week and going solo.

 

[brad813]

I am a little afraid of scaring him out of this trip, he's not used to taking week long trips in the first place. So I have to proceed with caution. I mean, I can't imagine flying all the way to Egypt and only staying 4 days, including my traveling days! If he does decide to only do 4 days, I'm staying the week and going solo.

Get him involved in the planning process and plan for at least one day in each park, and come to an agreement between you on the other 3 days, though I recommend splitting Epcot into at least two days because of the size. Since Toy Story Land will be open then(dropping Rock n Roller Coaster to tier 2, with the three Toy Story rides as tier 1), Hollywood Studios will be a full day park if you are interested in that part, otherwise, that could be a half day park, but the Star Wars Launch Bay section is definitely an interesting place to meander a bit there. Another thing you may want to consider is doing a water park day or going off property for a day, for something a bit more relaxed. Also, if he golfs, consider getting him a tee time for one of the days of your trip. Plenty of options there to keep his interest from waning.

 

[abmitch01]

Great ideas, thank you! You know what, he's never really seen many Disney movies (he has no children) and didn't grow up with them as a child in Egypt. I'm going to have to make sure he sees the Toy Stories and at least Monsters' Inc or the theming won't matter to him. I hope he's seen Star Wars, I don't wanna sit through any of those, lol!