Did you feel presured into bottlefeeding

[goodstarr]

Did any moms feel pressured into bottlefeeding when you really wanted to breastfeed? This thread is prompted by patients that I've had who really wanted to breastfeed but DH, DM or DMIL made them feel guilty about it (saying things like "I didn't breastfeed you, and you turned out alright" or "You're starving him") so they bottlefed in order to keep the peace. I know someone who started out breastfeeding, DMIL gave her so much drama that when she did start to bottle feed later on, she hid it from DMIL just so it didn't give her any satisfaction (she actually would go into another room while DMIL was there, saying that she was going for some privacy to breastfeed, while she was actually giving the baby a bottle in secrecy). This thread isn't bottlefeeding bashing, just trying to find out how some decisions are made by family and friends' pressure.

Please note that there is a separate thread for breastfeeding pressure.

 

[BedKnobbery2]

I was fortunate, my family either didn't care or supported my decision to breastfeed. My former MIL, though, tells of an entire troop of nurses coming in and lecturing her about the evils of breastfeeding and the pros of bottle-feeding when she made the decision to breastfeed my ex-husband when he was born.

 

[ebaynut31]

Just the opposite with me. Breastfeeding was forced upon me in the hospital after I gave birth. I told the nurse over and over that I did not want to do it, it was uncomfortable, she never latched on etc. As soon as we got home, I got formula. It was an aweful experience.

 

[Lorix2]

No pressure here...I just knew breastfeeding wasn't for me and nobody made me feel bad about my decision.

 

[Lorix2]

No pressure here...I just knew breastfeeding wasn't for me and nobody made me feel bad about my decision.

 

[snoopy]

My mother nursed all of us, and of course was supportive of me nursing my kids. My inlaws were horrified, but they are the type to be horrified easily.

I'll never forget my FIL coming up to me at my son's baptism party, after I had excused myself to go nurse him, how long I planned to do that? I said I hoped to have him weened by the time he started college. That shut him up and I never heard another word about it.......

 

[luvmarypoppins]

I saw you have another thread going too in the opposite direction. My case is strange and things affected my decision. DS # 1 after three months of him not gaining wait I felt pressured myself to bottlefeed him along with an incompetent pediatrician, the other contributing factor was I already had a tumor removed from 1 breast and this must have affected production. The pump output proved my dh right for the one side. DS#2 - tried to nurse for a week, no luck there and the envriornment was totally insane. Living with parents due to dh already moving 1/2 way across country for new job etc. DS#3, totally felt pressured to bottlefeed. I made up my mind to try and breastfeed again, but in the middle of ds #3 being born my sister collapsed and later died from a rare incurable disease so I was pressured in the hosp. to make up my mind immediately. So I chose to bottlefeed him. It worked out for the best. O.K. my story is not normal. Also with ds one I was on your other spectrum of being pressured by a group of friends who breastfed.

 

[Disney Doll]

It's too bad people feel "pressured" to do either one. It should be what makes the mother comfortable and the baby well-nourished. Some babies don't "latch on", and therefore don't get adequate nutrition, whether it's due to anatomy of whatever, so bottle feeding is the best choice. If the babies are latching on, and getting adequate nutrition, then breastfeedig is the best choice.

I'd tell anyone who commneted on it either way to mind their own business!

 

[ScarlettO]

No family member had breastfed-Mom or MIL or aunts or SIL's-all thought it "icky".

Luckily I had a great support group in the La Leche League. Nursed my kids about 9 months ,then on to a bottle.

 

[Serena]

I was pressured alright, but luckily I lived out of town and did it my way, breastfeeding. Luckily I had no problems with production.
Once I came back to live with my parents, it was a big deal, but mom also learned I'm as stubborn as she was, when it counted.
My mom learned more about it and came to accept it. Eventually, I heard her explaining it to some other relatives that were against breastfeeding.

 

[Pooh93]

No, I did not. I did it because it was right for me. My ob nurse told me to never let anyone make me feel guilty because I was not going to breasfeed.

It's a personal and family decision. There should not be pressure either way.

 

[tinaluis]

I tried breastfeeding with all three DDs and never had too much luck with latching on. Fortunately I had a very good pump and was able to breastfeed each of them for about 7 months by pumping exclusively. I didn't feel any pressure from family but the lactation consultant employed by the hospital in my second DDs birth came in and saw me pumping and INSISTED that I would never be able to do that for any length of time and would never be able to maintain an adequate milk supply so I should just give it up and save myself the trouble. I let it roll off my shoulders and pumpted breast milk for 7 months and then I returned the Questiolnnaire I received from the hospital asking how my experience with them was. I proudly pointed out that the lactation consultant insisted I would not be able to do so, but that I'd breastfed for 7 months and only stopped because my DD was eating other foods and not too interested in bottles. Surprisingly, I got a call from the woman several weeks later. She apologized for trying to discourage me from even trying with a pump and said I was the first mother in her experience that was ever able to pump for so long and maintain an adequate supply. I was glad the message got through to her so she might not be so "hard" on another Mom in the future who decides to try and pump.

 

[skuttle]

No...it was the opposite from me. From my first visit, my OB/GYN was pushing BF as well as the hospital staff. When DS was born, I tried but he had latching problems so it didn't work out for us. When I went for my 6 week checkup after DS was born, my OB/GYN was really supportive when I todl her BF didn't work out...it was like she was a different person! So I'm grateful that at least she didn't make me feel like a bad mother.

 

[Melora]

I breastfed all 5 of my kids. My mom (who adopted me) was not a breasfeeding advocate I think because she never got to do it.

Sh used to hangover my shoulder with my first and ask "Are you sure he's getting enough? He's so skinny!" Yes well he was a thin kid and then along came DD and no one would ever accuse her of being a skinny baby! So my mom used a different tactic.. "Do you think thats making her fat?"

It was annoying but I knew I wanted to bresfeed so I just ignored her.

My current inlaws always asked "How much longer are you going to do that?" I said "We should stop by the time he's in Kindergarden because I wouldnt want to have to go to school during nap time" They always looked at me like they weren't sure if I was serious or not! I think they finally got the idea I was joking.

 

[gina2000]

My mother and MIL both came from a generation that embraced formula. My mother was nonjudgmental about nursing but was concerned that our son wasn't getting enough. He actually wasn't and I did add formula during the day to his diet. So they both did have the opportunity to feed our son.

My MIL gave my BIL/SIL and me a terrible time about nursing. She carried on to the point where she tucked a full bottle into their third child's bassinet at the hospital. It was removed by the oby/gyn. MIL felt that it deprived her of the pleasure of feeding her grandchildren and would not accept any other method of feeding children. My BIL/SIL's babies would not take a bottle at all and unfortunately, it became an extremely unpleasant tug-of-war for all concerned.

 

[GEM]

I was lucky. I knew I wanted to breastfeed from the moment I got pregnant, and I had lots of support, even though most of my friends and family didn't know anything about breastfeeding. When my son was born very early weighing only 1lb and 7oz, I was even more determined. I had lots of support from the doctors and nurses, as well as friends and family. I pumped constantly until he was strong enough to latch on and we've been nursing every since. He's 11 months old now and we have no plans for weaning anytime soon. I've had nothing but woderful support the whole time - especially since everyone can see how wonderfully he is doing. I'm not shy about telling people that breastmilk is one of the main reasons for his miraculous health, despite being so tiny at birth.

 

[CamColt]

Nope. I bottle fed because I wanted to. No one ever said anything about my choice. Before the baby was born, my doctor had asked me what I would be doing and I told him bottle. He said that would probably be best, and that was enough for me.