Did we do the right thing?

[kirstenb1]

Look around and see if there's a Saturday morning program. At that age, here, you can do evenings, or just Saturday mornings (game and practice rolled into one)

 

[Disney Doll]

Maybe they are just a bit young to get the whole concept of team sports and what it entails.

I'd relax and not worry about it. Take them to a few games so they get a senseof what it is and a sense of their community but I wouldn't push.

A few months or even a year of maturity can make a big difference to a kid.

 

[EllenFrasier]

In my opinion, if your child still requires a nap in the afternoon then they are too young for team sports! They will have plenty of time in life for playing sports on a team - let them be little while they are little!

There is no reason why you and your husband cannot teach them some soccer skills in your own back yard. Do they have neighbor kids they play with? Or a park nearby? Usually whoever has the ball is the popular kid and if you go to a park, others will show up to play soccer with them.

 

[shortbun]

I remember my girlfriend (who at 50 is still playing coed soccer) taking her 5yo son to play on a team. One day he was playing 'goalie' and hanging upside down from the overhead bar supporting the net. She said, 'at least he's having fun!' He's a primo player now and because his mom just took him and allowed him to enjoy himself. No one else cared either.

 

[minkydog]

In my opinion, if your child still requires a nap in the afternoon then they are too young for team sports! They will have plenty of time in life for playing sports on a team - let them be little while they are little!

There is no reason why you and your husband cannot teach them some soccer skills in your own back yard. Do they have neighbor kids they play with? Or a park nearby? Usually whoever has the ball is the popular kid and if you go to a park, others will show up to play soccer with them.

I agree. For heaven's sakes, they're 3 year old babies. I just don't get why anyone would put their kids into team sports at that age. They don't even share on the playground at that age.

I'd continue taking them to occasional games, but back off the participation.Clearly they aren't there yet. Get yourself a ball and start kicking it around the yard. I bet if you and your DH start doing it, they'll want to join in.

My kids never played team sports. My DS23 never had any interest. Well, that's not entirely true. He was interested in soccer and basketball, but he was really not good at either. He has severe ADHD and it was very hard for him to get the strategy of team sports. He was afraid of the ball and we had to work pretty hard to get him past that. He was very good at creative activities, however. Give him a 64-page play and he could memorise it in 2 weeks. DD17 is the same way. Never looked twice at any sport. However, she is on 2 dance teams and a dance troupe. That's her team sport.

Every kid is different. I don't think they need to be pushed at the preschool level. Just expose them to sports and see what they pick up. Somewhere around 8 years old they will probably be begging you to play ball, take karate, or join a swim team. Or not. They may want to do community theater or take piano, like my son and daughter. Diffr'nt strokes, ya know...

 

[golfgal]

3 and 4 year olds should NOT be playing organized sports, period. Play soccer with them in the back yard when it is nap time and they will be MUCH better off in the long run.

 

[luvsJack]

Just wanted to note here: I DO agree with what the OP did. No child, of any age, much less 3 years old, should be made to play on a team. I would try different things to make sure what the problem is but if they just didn't want to play I certainly would never, ever force them. And the OP's children may very well be too young.

But, with that said, for anyone else reading this with a 3 or 4 year old and wondering if they should play a sport--for many kids its not too young at all. It strictly depends on the child. Some kids just seem to know that they love a certain sport from a very young age and do fine playing on a team. As long as everyone affiliated with the team understands the age and development of the children playing, it can be a great stepping stone for playing on a team that plays by the "official" rules. It also helps them with skills such as playing with other kids, getting over shyness, sharing (as in "pass the ball to your teammate"), conflict solving, good sportsmanship. These are all skills learned in a preschool classroom and can be learned on a sports field. It just has to be done the right way for your kid and for the age and sometimes that takes finding the best league that fits your child.

 

[mlynn]

DH and I have twin three-year-old sons that will be turning four-years-old in June. The town in which we live is a huge soccer town. Most years the local district makes it into state playoffs and the past few years they've won or come close to winning. Anyway, our rec has a soccer program for three and four-year-olds. We didn't sign them up in the fall but many of our friends and neighbors took their three-year-olds and they raved about the program and how much fun their kids had. I almost felt guilty for not signing up my boys so this spring DH and I decided to sign them up for soccer.

Two weeks ago was the first soccer practice/workshop. It took place at 2:00 in the afternoon which is when my boys nap. Games are usually at 5:00. It didn't go over well. My boys hated it; they even cried. They didn't want to do anything and they didn't. DH, myself and the boys stood on the sidelines while all the other kids participated. To be honest, I was a little embarrassed wondering what the other parents were thinking of my boys. We ended up leaving because the one kept on telling me how tired he was and he did fall asleep on the five-minute ride home.

So last week was the first game at five; they do a thirty-minute practice and a thirty-minute game. Games are three-on-three and no goalies; pretty much kids just running around and kicking the ball. Again my boys didn't want to play. They didn't cry but just sat there and watched. DH was pretty annoyed at them. (He is an avid sports lover and really wants the boys to play sports.) I was annoyed too, but not so much because they didn't play, but because of how they acted. Falling on the ground, whining, etc.

Fast-forward to today. It is game time again. Now all week DH and I have been talking about soccer. They seemed excited, they wanted to play with each other outside, etc. DH and I are feeling pretty positive. Well when I go into the boys' room to wake them from nap the struggle begins again. They are crying, complaing they don't want to go, one is screaming his shin guards hurt him, etc.

DH and I didn't know what to do but we decided we weren't going to argue about it with them so we called the coach and told him we wouldn't be there. I feel horrible. For one, I feel like I am letting the team down. There are only seven kids on the team and two of them are my kids. If they aren't playing that puts the team down to five which doesn't leave a lot of room for subbing. I also feel like my boys have total control of the situation; they know if they put up a fuss we'll cave in.

I guess my question is did we do the right thing? Are my boys just not sports people? Are they too young yet? Did anyone ever go through this with your kids and how did you handle the situation?

If you've read this long post, thank you bunches.

BTW, we are planning on taking them next week, or at least trying to.

My DD5 did this last fall with soccer. We just went to every game and sat on the sidelines. She wasn't allowed to quit(she begged to join $90). We stopped begging her to go on the field. We took all pressure off of her to play. WE sat and watched.That was all she was allowed to do.She wasn't allowed to run around.She had to sit there. WE went to 8games like this. Soccer wasn't her game.but now she is in Tball and loves it.
My answer to your question.Only you can decide what was best for your boys.

 

[marcyinPA]

Personally, I think they are too young. Most organized sports in my area don't start until kindergarten, and probably for the reasons you described in your post.

If I were you, I'd withdraw them. It's just not worth it, and they are getting nothing out of it.

 

[ICF]

My daughter played soccer when she was 4 (almost 5) and loved it. It was the 3 v 3 (or perhaps it was 4 v 4) but w.o a goalie. She loved it and still plays now 4 years later. Soccer is very big in our town as well, so I can understand the pressure of trying to get kids to play. I do question 2:30 soccer practice though....is this during the week? If so, what do parents of kids that work do? That part seemed strange to me.

In your situation, your kids dont seem ready for it and they shouldnt be pressured at this age to play sports. If you and your husband want them to play later, they shouldnt start out by hating it at 4 years old. Give them another year and try it next year when they are almost 5.

As for letting the team down.....I'd take the opposite view point of some here. While the "team" might not care, depending on how many kids you have on the team pulling 2 kids off the team might make it difficult to sub players. If there are 5 or 6 other kids on the team, you're probably not putting the coach in too big of an issue.....however, if the team only has 5 or 6 kids total (counting your kids) then not bringing them to the game wont leave many kids to sub in and out and let the other kids get a break.

 

[dawson5]

OP are you doing this for the socialization for your kids? Do they possibly offer leagues that play earlier? My nephew did this, he is in first grade now and is just starting to enjoy it. My SiL didn't force him to play, but did take him and let him sit on the sidelines and watch. He enjoyed the camaraderie of his team-mates, he just wasn't ready to play with them. My niece on the other hand is ready and raring to go, she's four.

 

[JimmyPicker]

It's just what kids do at that age.

I made the mistake of signing my son up for T-ball when he was 3. The program itself was wonderful, the coaches very caring, and they knew the kids were practically babies, so no one minded if they were building sand castles on the pitchers mound.

My son, though, was probably the worst one there. He could see the playground off in the distance, and that's all he was concerned about. Off he'd go to slide down the ladder. The game just didn't interest him.

Now, a few years later, he has a drill sergeant for a football coach and loves it.

They just aren't ready yet. And there's nothing wrong with that.

 

[ilovemonk]

In our area we have what is similar to pee wee soccer for 3 to 5 year olds. I don't see anything wrong with this kind of program where they start off early.

I think in your case it is not a good fit for your kids, especially with soccer time conflicting with their usual naptime. I wouldn't worry about it. There's lots of time to play sports when they are older.

 

[SaraJayne]

They're THREE YEARS OLD.

Some of them may still be in diapers. Three is WAY too young to be in an organized sport.