By no means are you 'spoiling' it! WDW is HUGE and everyone has to make decisions regarding what they want to see during their particular trip - you just can't do it all in one trip - even if it was a month long! And you won't know your options unless you research!
Now you do have to accept some reality while watching the slickly produced videos and guidebooks etc.
- the near empty parks, dazzling sunset pictures and tons of solitary character interaction are probably NOT part of everyone's trip - so don't expect them
- Stop planning. Just like a painter has to look at the canvas and say 'done' and put the brush down - so does the Disney planner. You can overdo it - there are just 24 hours in a day and so much to do that you have to make choices. So find a focus and then plan around that - the amount of time and money you have will make many of these choices for you. You can second guess yourself like crazy if you get too much into it. When you find yourself debating the same 3 hotels for over a week - make a decision and JUST DO IT! There is always next time! Trust me, there is always another trip!
Researching has opened up so many new and wonderous options. A case in point - theming. Many people just blaze through the rides and never stop to appreciate the thought that went into garbage can design for goodness sakes! You'll notice that each land in the MK (and elsewhere) have their own themed cans. If you didn't research you would never know and would have been clueless to the many details that make Disney Disney and not just another Six Flags park. These are the 'smell the roses' moments that should be built into everyone's itenerary.
Hope that helps