Did/do your kids have tantrums or meltdowns in public?

[babytrees]

My poor 14 year old had a meltdown last week in Baltimore. Both girls had been wonderful for three days but that last straw was Ama teasing about a cute boy helping us at the dragon paddle boats and not dropping it. One of those hormone induced meltdowns!!

 

[roseprincess]

I have two special needs children. They are 9yr. old twins. My ds is very high functioing autistic. More on the lines of Aspergers. I rarely ever have a problem with him at home and in public, as of tantrums and meltdowns. My dd has a congenital heart defect and some cognitive delays. She is extremely strong- willed!! She will have tantrums at home if she doesn't get her way and once in a while, she will have a tantrums in public. Ie when we go shopping, etc. And of course, people stare. I try to ignore the stares. If I notice someone staring at us, I'll just say dd is special needs. That seems to do the trick. It is very embarrassing with dd, but not much I can do in public with her. Can't spank her in public .It seems like when dd is with other people, ie. school or with her grandma and grandpa, she's a little angel. Just when dd is with me and /or dh, she does her tantrums. Drives us crazy . I do give my dd time-outs at home when she misbehaves at home.

 

[cheyita]

I see a distinction between tantrum and meltdown. I see a meltdown as a young child pushed beyond their tolerance level having a hard time coping, whether it's exhaustion, heat, etc. I see a tantrum as poor behavior used as a tool to try to get what one wants. Poor coping skills still play a part, but I see tantrums more focused on a "want" than just a general meltdown.

Unfortunately, my kids have done both -- but not with any frequency and not in a long, long time. Also, the tantrums were not tolerated at all; whereas the meltdowns were handled by us, but were a forgiveable offense considering the child's age and circumstances.

 

[mtblujeans]

My kids didn't.....but my grandson (5YO) does and he and I have butted heads on more than one occasion in public! I swear he was possessed by a demon when we took him to WDW last month!!

 

[ducklite]

DS had a few when he was around three. He very quickly learned that a tantrum meant an immediate end to whatever fun activity we were doing and home to his room.

The biggest problem I had with him was that he was a "runner."

Anne

 

[Ava83]

Mine doesn't have them often, but when he does, they are doozies.

That is my Ava..she is usally pretty good in public but when she has one WOW! Dh and I actually have a moment of confusion because they are pretty rare lately.

Now watch I will take her out somewhere in the next few days and it will be the mother of all meltdowns. I am now on Ava watch.

 

[MushyMushy]

My poor 14 year old had a meltdown last week in Baltimore. Both girls had been wonderful for three days but that last straw was Ama teasing about a cute boy helping us at the dragon paddle boats and not dropping it. One of those hormone induced meltdowns!!

OMG, that must have been mortifying!

Even though my kids never had tantrums or meltdowns in public, I still took them out of the situation when they became disruptive, and I always kept a book in the car to keep myself entertained.

Anyway, two years ago, when DS was 13, I needed to get his glasses repaired at Walmart Vision and he didn't want to go. Before we got out of the car, he threatened to throw a fit in public if I made him go in! Even though my days of keeping a book in the car were long gone, I just happened to have one with me, so I whipped it out and said, "Well, let me know when you feel like you can handle going in like an adult and we'll be on our way, but I can sit here for as long as you can." Even though I was seething inside, I sat there with an indifferent look on my face and read.

An hour and a half later, he sulked out of the car and we went into the vision center where it only took us about 5 minutes to take care of his glasses.

 

[Ready to go in Ok]

Are we talking the full out throw yourself on the floor kicking and screaming tanrums? Or the teen, "I hate you look", eye rolling, arms crossed, refusing to talk except in short sarcastic bursts, while stomping around, tantrums? See I get the latter quite often, but I don't know if it qualifies.....

 

[JoyG]

My youngest had one today as a matter of fact. I was picking him up from preschool and was talking to his teacher and he just flipped out. He wanted me to pick him up and since I was talking to his teacher he started then looking for negative attention, throwing his bookbag, crying and laying on the floor.

I had to carry him out of there. All of my kids have had problems with tantrums. They all have also had speech/language problems which I think have had something to do with it. When they can't express themselves they get frustrated. The twins are just now out of that stage (and there speech is age appropriate now) and they will be 6 next month.

I've found that now that the twins are old enough to know the rules for public places, and the consequences for not following the rules (you might get a spanking when we get back to the car), they are better at controlling themselves. I do have to go over the rules alot though. I prep them everytime we go out in public...

1. No running in stores
2. No climbing in stores
3. Don't put your hands on the floor in stores (somehow, they were always on the floor!)
4. No talking so loud that strangers look at you in stores
5. No fighting with your brothers in stores

 

[KimR]

My oldest and youngest were very easy-going, well-behaved and never had tantrums. My middle DD was another story altogether. She never did the screaming, kicking, throw herself on the floor thing that I've seen but she did pitch a fit when she didn't get her way. That lasted about 2 to 2 1/2 years and then life became much easier. She is such a joy now (she is 8) but those first few years were not much fun. Thankfully, she wasn't my first or I likely would never have had another.

 

[babytrees]

Are we talking the full out throw yourself on the floor kicking and screaming tanrums? Or the teen, "I hate you look", eye rolling, arms crossed, refusing to talk except in short sarcastic bursts, while stomping around, tantrums? See I get the latter quite often, but I don't know if it qualifies.....

I get those so often I don't count them as tantrums. My sister used to give those to me when we were younger and then stomp up the stairs and SLAM the door....I'd always yell up the stairs "Can you do that again? They didn't hear that down the street" It stopped the slamming then and now too!! When I see a meltdown coming on I am usually able to divert it with something humorous but my mom has never been one to stop when she starts something.

 

[snowwite]

Poll coming.

ETA: don't want to start a debate or anything, I was just curious. I was reading a thread on the Theme Parks board and so many people seemed to believe that EVERY parent has gone through public tantrums or meltdowns with their kids.

Not my little angels!
Seriously, when they were little they had tantrums and even if it felt like I was punishing the whole family we left and took them home or someplace to chill if they were acting up. There is nothing worse than witnessing a screaming fit and seeing the parents either a. rewarding the little monster or b. ignoring him and continuing to eat,watch movie,shop etc with no regard for how thier kid's behaviour may be affecting others trying to enjoy something.

 

[KimR]

Not my little angels!
Seriously, when they were little they had tantrums and even if it felt like I was punishing the whole family we left and took them home or someplace to chill if they were acting up. There is nothing worse than witnessing a screaming fit and seeing the parents either a. rewarding the little monster or b. ignoring him and continuing to eat,watch movie,shop etc with no regard for how thier kid's behaviour may be affecting others trying to enjoy something.

If we were in public and DD started to throw a fit, one of us would take her out to the car and put her in her carseat until she calmed down (I learned to always carry a book with me). That way, the rest of the family wasn't punished and she learned very quickly to behave in public because she did NOT want to go sit in her carseat.

 

[RitaZ.]

An hour and a half later, he sulked out of the car and we went into the vision center where it only took us about 5 minutes to take care of his glasses.

OMG! You're a saint!

 

[MushyMushy]

OMG! You're a saint!

It was the book that kept me sane. Without it, he'd have been dead and I'd now be in jail!

 

[mrsv98]

OMG, DD had a classic one in AK one trip. I just sat her atop a garbage can and talked to her quietly until she calmed down then when made a hasty exit.

DD was a great 2 yo but became a terror at three. NOw she is 6 and for the most part, a joy. She doesn't have tantrums, but she does have at-ti-tude (said with hand on hip )

 

[NMAmy]

Are we talking the full out throw yourself on the floor kicking and screaming tanrums? Or the teen, "I hate you look", eye rolling, arms crossed, refusing to talk except in short sarcastic bursts, while stomping around, tantrums? See I get the latter quite often, but I don't know if it qualifies.....

I know what you mean. I don't remember dd throwing too many hissy fits when she was little--if she did I took her out of the situation and ignored snotty behavior and it soon stopped.

Now that she's almost 16, it's harder to ignore. We argue a lot more now than we did when she was small enough for me to actually pick up and remove from a situation.

And MushyMushy--an hour and a half??? Bless you for your perseverence. I'd have let dd walk around with broken glasses, I think.

 

[U2_rocks]

I can't say that I've really dealt with public tantrums, even after 3 kids! They have had meltdowns at home, but they learned that meltdowns gained them nothing early on. I think if I'd taken them out more often, and at the wrong times (when tired, hungry etc.) I might have had to deal with it more, but I was lucky I had help at home and worked outside the home, so I was able to get most errands done while the kids weren't with me. When I did take them out, it was a treat, and they appreciated it more (and misbehaved infrequently). My biggest issue with them now is their exuberance. I need to calm them down often. They aren't having meltdowns - they are just more active than I am comfortable with in public, and I feel like I am always reining them in!

 

[Ready to go in Ok]

I get those so often I don't count them as tantrums. My sister used to give those to me when we were younger and then stomp up the stairs and SLAM the door....I'd always yell up the stairs "Can you do that again? They didn't hear that down the street" It stopped the slamming then and now too!! When I see a meltdown coming on I am usually able to divert it with something humorous but my mom has never been one to stop when she starts something.

My DD tries her best to stomp up the stairs, but she isn't heavy enough to make the resounding thumps that she wants. This usually tickles me, so of course I have to point it out, which either makes her laugh or makes her madder. Depends on the hormone level that day.

 

[crz4mm2]

Both my kids tried it when they were little. One quick trip to a bathroom was all it took to teach them a tantrum was NOT what they wanted to do in public

If we see a kid acting up in public DD (18) will say "that kid needs to go to the bathroom!!". LOL.