Did any of you planning a wedding/already married NOT get proposed to?

[Pezalicious]

Excuse the poor wording, but I was just wondering if the proposal was skipped for any of you. I think my boyfriend will eventually do it, but I'm not actually positive. We're trying to pick dates (I'm thinking 2 years from now), and all he'll say is 'the sooner the better.' We know we'll get married, so maybe he thinks a proposal is unnecessary. My almost-SIL is in the same boat as me. They're planning to get married, bought a house together, etc, but he never proposed, and knowing my brother, I kind of wonder if he ever will.

I'm in no rush for the proposal because I'm secure in the fact that we both genuinely want to get married and that we're working towards making that happen (plans, savings, etc). But a part of me can't help but wonder if it will never happen, and how (un)common that is.


I suppose I can always propose to him (and slip him my ring to put on MY finger! )

 

[ohgosh]

I'm in the same boat as you. He claims he will propose eventually, but I am not entirely sure he grasps the entire timeline I have created in my mind Nor am I sure that it will ever happen because I fear I will get too antsy and start planning regardless of our engagement status and then he will no longer feel any need to propose. Oh the things I worry about...

Honestly, I can't wait for him to propose so that I can offically begin the planning stages. I feel a little awkward spending as much time on these boards as I do since I'm not even engaged yet. I want my own PJ, darnit!

 

[turtle51]

Me and my bf have been together for 8 years. We now we are getting married in 2010 but he still has not officially proposed. We are going on our first cruise together next year and that is when we are buying my ring. I did tell him though that I will not take it if he does not officially propse. I have already been to my wedding site. i cant afford disneyland so i am going to have some disney touches.

 

[MariaLovesJon<3]

I've been planning my wedding since I was 5 so...

Nice to know I'm not the only one! I've got my entire DFTW planned out so intricately in my head that, when I actually do get married, I won't have to decide on anything! lol

 

[noochez]

We had started looking at options for weddings, we knew we wanted to get married either in Las Vegas or Disney. I kept looking at the Las Vegas options b/c I didn't want to get my hopes up for Disney. Then one day he approached the subject about a Disney Wedding. Next thing I knew we were setting a date and calling Disney, exactly 1 yr before our wedding date.

I had my e-ring about 1 1/2 months after. We are getting married in just under 5 months!

 

[B2B-2008]

If being given my e-ring in a cinema car park before going to see a romantic film counts then yes I had a proposal

But on a serious not we already had a date set and we got my e-ring made. So I had already seen the ring as I had to have it fitted. He had held onto the ring for a few weeks before the car park moment.

 

[lurkyloo]

I say start planning as soon as you can, ring or no! We wanted a short engagement, which means I've been playing catch-up since the day he proposed. If I hadn't been lurking on these boards for the last year, I'd be in big trouble!

 

[OhioGrumpyGirl]

I didn't get an offical proposal either!! We just started talking about getting married and the next thing I knew we were picking a date!!! I do have a ring (that he let me pick out ), but he never got down on one knee and asked. Oh well, I still get the most important part of it all.........spending the rest of my life with my Prince Charming!!

 

[KT&Scott]

Hi

I was in the same boat as you! We have been together for 7 years and in May we decided that we wanted to get married in 2010 in Disneyworld.

The family were all really excited and took over really, we didnt even realise that we werent engaged! Then a couple of months ago I began to worry that I wouldnt get the 'proposal experience.'

Out of the blue last weekend my boyfriend proposed to me! To be honest thinking about it I dont think I would have minded if he hadnt have proposed, I know that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me, that was enough for me!

 

[hope1826]

Yeah, I don't think it matters if you plan before a proposal. I was unofficially planning for 4 months before the proposal. 6 months after we met we set a date (we did not share it with anyone though) and we knew we wanted Disney. That was enough for me to start planning. And the fact that every once in a while he would ask if we could have fireworks on our day.

How long have you been together? I've found, within my circle of friends, that more often than not a longer courtship usually leads to kind of just falling into an engagement without an official proposal. It also seems to vary with age and financial stability. Of course there are exceptions. Has anyone else noticed this?

 

[ksumn1]

My DH and I went through this. We had a baby in November 1998 and in early February were watching a report on how popular Valentines Day is for proposals. We had already made arrangements to get a house in June after his Graduation, and one of remarked that we really should talk about when we're getting married. (I think it was him) And I asked So you do want to get married? And he said Yes. So, technically I guess I propsed. So we set a date in December, and told our parents and Grandparents. The very next week, his Aunt was propsed to and his Grandmother called to ask if we'd picked dates, because her DD wanted to get married on the same day we'd already told them we'd picked!! And since we went to the same church, they'd already tried to book the church, but couldn't because it was reserved!! So they decided to get married the week after us, and were pulling out all the stops. Since we had a very limited budget, we decided to just change the date to August, because I didn't want people comparing our weddings, because ours was definately less grand than theirs. So, we married on August 27 instead.

But I do regret not getting a formal proposal. I've even told DH so, and hinted that it would be a great anniversary gift to finally get a proposal. He must not see the point, since we've been married 8 years and still no proposal.

 

[BaBeeCee14]

I was in the same boat as you ladies, until just recently actually. DF and I have been together for 6 and a half years and we have been talking about getting married for the past year. I've been lurking on the boards and collecting ideas for my future DFTW. I always felt silly about planning my wedding when I wasn't even officially engaged yet. But now that I am finally engaged, I'm so glad I did all my research because I knew exactly what I wanted right away and was able to start booking everything. If I hadn't found this board, I would be totally lost. You can never be too prepared! Happy Planning!!

 

[MistressOfAllEvil]

I say start planning as soon as you can, ring or no! We wanted a short engagement, which means I've been playing catch-up since the day he proposed. If I hadn't been lurking on these boards for the last year, I'd be in big trouble!

I waited to start planning until the official proposal (didn't want to spook or pressure DF), but man it was a long time coming. We were together for 10 and a half years before DF got down on one knee in front of cinderella's fountain... geesh...

I'm just glad to know I haven't waited the longest. I attended a girlfriend's wedding last year. Her and her husband had been together 14 years (since early high school) and had bought a house together.

I think it's more common that we sometimes think.

 

[mla1977]

Pez,

I've told you before, nothing official yet. No proposal, nor have we ever looked at rings. We have been together for 5 1/2 years and bought a house together 1.5 years ago. We each even have life insurance policies for each other, so I know that "us" is a certainty. I am planning on Wish Book, and occasionally calling DFTW with questions.

Here's my story as to why I've started the planning process (from Summer's thread):

"A little story from my life. My mom and step dad came down to visit me the last weekend in September, and then I went home (mostly to visit my best friend, but also to see mom again) the first weekend in October. Before I left, mom turned to me and said, "honey, don't get upset, but I need to tell you this" ...umm okay... "you need to lose weight" ... yes mom, I know... "well you've got a surprise coming in 2008" Me: "huh?" "well, you need to lose weight" "what are you talking about?" "Savannah (goddaughter) knows what the surprise is too" I look at Savannah "If she knows, she hasn't said anything to me" Mom: "Do you want to know what the surprise is?" "NO!" "Well, don't tell DBF anything"

HMMMMM... Either he plans on taking me on a vacation that requires me to be thin and in a bikini, or something else is going on... Ugh! I still have 3 months to go and then I don't know what is going to happen in 2008."

I'm still hoping for a proposal, but yesterday he got some junk mail that looked like travel info for somewhere tropical. I had to resist looking at it, but I have a tendency to look at things I'm not supposed to look at and then question him about it (innocent questioning that may to some people appear to be fishing for details). If it is still in the pile later tonight, I may look at it anyways. I really hope that he isn't going to surprise me with a trip instead of proposing. And if he were to surprise with a trip I would hope it would be Disney or Ireland.

The people I have shared the story with all seem to come to the same conclusion as me. Except my college BFF who I think is trying to keep me from getting too excited. I suppose if I really can't handle it any more, I can get the info from Mom.

In the past couple days I have been wondering about doing and Escape wedding with ONLY friends, no family.

 

[mla1977]

Whew! that was longer than I meant it to be!

 

[Pezalicious]

I say start planning as soon as you can, ring or no! We wanted a short engagement, which means I've been playing catch-up since the day he proposed. If I hadn't been lurking on these boards for the last year, I'd be in big trouble!

Before I was gathering info, but now I'm definitely planning - and at his request! He wants me to start planning, and we're both pretty set on 2009, we just can't pick a date, or even a month yet! But because he's so eager to have me start planning, and because we're trying to pick a date, it makes me wonder if the proposal will just be skipped, because we already know.

Pez,

I've told you before, nothing official yet. No proposal, nor have we ever looked at rings. We have been together for 5 1/2 years and bought a house together 1.5 years ago. We each even have life insurance policies for each other, so I know that "us" is a certainty. I am planning on Wish Book, and occasionally calling DFTW with questions.

Here's my story as to why I've started the planning process (from Summer's thread):

"A little story from my life. My mom and step dad came down to visit me the last weekend in September, and then I went home (mostly to visit my best friend, but also to see mom again) the first weekend in October. Before I left, mom turned to me and said, "honey, don't get upset, but I need to tell you this" ...umm okay... "you need to lose weight" ... yes mom, I know... "well you've got a surprise coming in 2008" Me: "huh?" "well, you need to lose weight" "what are you talking about?" "Savannah (goddaughter) knows what the surprise is too" I look at Savannah "If she knows, she hasn't said anything to me" Mom: "Do you want to know what the surprise is?" "NO!" "Well, don't tell DBF anything"

HMMMMM... Either he plans on taking me on a vacation that requires me to be thin and in a bikini, or something else is going on... Ugh! I still have 3 months to go and then I don't know what is going to happen in 2008."

I'm still hoping for a proposal, but yesterday he got some junk mail that looked like travel info for somewhere tropical. I had to resist looking at it, but I have a tendency to look at things I'm not supposed to look at and then question him about it (innocent questioning that may to some people appear to be fishing for details). If it is still in the pile later tonight, I may look at it anyways. I really hope that he isn't going to surprise me with a trip instead of proposing. And if he were to surprise with a trip I would hope it would be Disney or Ireland.

The people I have shared the story with all seem to come to the same conclusion as me. Except my college BFF who I think is trying to keep me from getting too excited. I suppose if I really can't handle it any more, I can get the info from Mom.

In the past couple days I have been wondering about doing and Escape wedding with ONLY friends, no family.

mla - I can't wait for the conclusion of your story!! Maybe it's a vacation and a proposal all in one, to make it more romantic.

 

[PrincessBrideKatie]

DF and I have been discussing marriage since a month after dating... we just knew we were right for each other. So I mentioned his intentions to my parents and my Dad said that he wasnt putting any money down for a wedding til I had an e-ring. So I told DF this and kindof planned a disney trip that would give him the opportunity. Well, it worked, and I got the exact ring I wanted. DF designed it. Heart diamond, with upside down heart shaped sapphires on either side. So cute!

 

[turtle51]

We have looked at rings. We decided that since we are going on a cruise it would be the perfect place. After reading all of your posts I do not feel so silly. About a month ago i went to the location that i would like my recpetion at. I can not afford a disney wedding so we will have an at home wedding. I have everything basically picked out. All that is needed is to get the ring and set the date.

We have been togther 8 years and I think that now we are finally ready to plan a wedding. I am 24 and I think i am ready to make this step in my life. I did tell him it would nice to be surprised but knowing my bf he will say here are you happy now you can start planning.

 

[mla1977]

Pez -
Here's a little update. Last night is glanced a the travel brouchure again. It was definitely for some place beautiful and tropical and I fought every urge to say "Hey what's this?" I just left it in the mail pile. Later when we were getting the trash together, I saw him glance at it and throw it out. I guess it really was just junk mail. Oh well!

He isn't really a beach person (kind of funny since I love to ocean so much that I have 2 dolphin tattoos), so I would never even expect him to take me anywhere in the Caribbean. Maybe southeast Asia (he's Vietnamese), but never anywhere touristy.

I'll let you know if anything else happens. Christmas is coming soon and then my birthday (in 2008)!

 

[Pezalicious]

I kind of like that he threw it away.. that makes it more of a surprise! Which, of course, is harder to deal with now (I wouldn't be able to let go of my excitement and curiosity), but might make it more fun in the long run. Maybe you'll find out on your birthday or on Valentine's Day.