Diane's Journal to a Happier/Healthier me...encouragement welcome!

[Goofydiane]

Wow, I just did something pretty wild and crazy for me. I got my hair cut this morning and I had my hair stylist flat iron my hair. This is big for me, I've got thick, natural curly hair that I've been growing out so I just went for a change. It is going to take some getting used to and I know I won't do it every day, it's just something different.

I've got a workout with Tim so it won't last that long today, but now I know what it looks like.

I'm feeling much better today too, I've got more energy and I feel like I'm getting back into a routine. A new routine, but still a routine.

 

[maroo]

Hello! Gosh, I feel like I know you and it doesn't seem fair that you don't know me. I read your whole journal! All of it. I have been reading journals, usually reading the intro and starting toward the end. But yours was so incredibe, I felt like I needed to go back and get the whole story. Amazing!! Amazing job you have done!!! Tim is a gift. Your strength amazes me. You have raised the bar for me.

I, too, get your struggle with family stuff. Anyway! I am totally on board with your journey and will subscribe!!

Hang in there!!

 

[Goofydiane]

Maroo - Thanks for stopping by! It's great to have another supporter, we all needs as many as we can get.

 

[Amy&Dan]

Diane, I am glad things improved at work. Just take each day as it comes. And good for you getting a new hair do! Sometimes a little change like that goes a long way towards making you feel more positive overall. I am so proud of you for hanging in there and keeping up those workouts with Tim. He sounds like quite a guy. I am betting your hard work and great personality and strength of character make him feel like his job is worthwhile. He probably tells everyone he knows about you and how proud he is to be a part of your journey!

Have you ever tried the mini luna bars? I love those and while I don't think they are the perfect food, they are good to get your through a sweet craving. I was on the mini snickers thing for awhile (I bought them for the kids ) and switched to the mini lunas. They have helped me and they fill you up too.

Keep up the good work!!!

 

[Goofydiane]

Hair straightening is a lot harder than it looks! I tried it on my own this afternoon and of course it doesn't look as good as what the stylist does, but then I can't stand behind myself and face the back of my head to grab hair. I think it is something that will come with time and practice....and the decision to allocate another 20 minutes to prep time in the morning.

Today's been a crazy day, I couldn't sleep last night so I figured I'd sleep in this morning and my neighbor called. He kid is playing in a hockey tournament and he forgot his skates for the game this morning! How do you forget your skates as a hockey player?? So I drove them up to the game, which was about 25 minutes away and stayed to watch the game. (They won in OT!). So, that blew part of my morning and now I'm trying to work for a while. I've got a status with my new boss in the morning and I have no idea what she is going to want to talk about so I'm not sure how to prepare.

Kinda starts a new era of my career tomorrow and I can say that I am looking forward to it while remembering the great times of the past.

 

[maroo]

Hair straightening is a lot harder than it looks! I tried it on my own this afternoon and of course it doesn't look as good as what the stylist does, but then I can't stand behind myself and face the back of my head to grab hair. I think it is something that will come with time and practice....and the decision to allocate another 20 minutes to prep time in the morning.

Today's been a crazy day, I couldn't sleep last night so I figured I'd sleep in this morning and my neighbor called. He kid is playing in a hockey tournament and he forgot his skates for the game this morning! How do you forget your skates as a hockey player?? So I drove them up to the game, which was about 25 minutes away and stayed to watch the game. (They won in OT!). So, that blew part of my morning and now I'm trying to work for a while. I've got a status with my new boss in the morning and I have no idea what she is going to want to talk about so I'm not sure how to prepare.

Kinda starts a new era of my career tomorrow and I can say that I am looking forward to it while remembering the great times of the past.

Good luck at work! I am sure you will do great! You have a great handle on your job...

I had the "opportunity" to straighten Lauren's hair this morning. Not something I do often. She has a Chi straightener...which is a VERY nice and fairly expensive one. It does really well. Of course, she is 15, so any hair out of place (and I mean ANY) drives her crazy. You literally have to hold that Chi a certain way to make her happy!

So...good luck with the hair and the new boss!!

 

[Amy&Dan]

Diane, I hope your status meeting with your new boss went well. That has got be stressful and upsetting to have this change thrown at you. I am keeping you in my thoughts and keeping my fingers crossed it goes well with this person.

You are a good neighbor!

Good luck with the hair, as you know I am having severe hair trauma right now so I can relate! I am betting you'll get faster as you get more practice. The things we women do for our hair!

 

[Goofydiane]

I hit rock bottom on emotions today. It started when one of our admins came over and asked if I had a few minutes for a question and I said, no, I've got a meeting in 2 minutes and I'm trying to get something done for someone else that they need as soon as possible. Well this request for time continued and I finally said 'which part of no, I don't have time now, I will have it in about 90 minutes isn't making sense?' She still asked her question! the nerve of some people.

it got progressively worse throughout the day. I had system problems and everyone seemed to want something from me all day long. It's nice to be that person who everyone goes to, but there are days when it seems like no one can do anything without asking me about it first. How can I get a list of this? How much have we paid due to this? What about if I want to add this to it? You get the idea. I'm not sure what happened, but I started just breaking down inside. When these times happened in the past, I just went to my boss to blow off a little bit of steam and I don't have that anymore, so I need to find a new outlet.

Between working about 14 hours a day and dealing with all the stress, I decided to take Tim as a partner on ways we can change our workouts to relieve stress or address the exhaustion I'm dealing with. The one thing I didn't want to do was to stop going to him for a few weeks while I get this all under control. Even if we do a light workout, it is a necessary hour on my calendar three days a week. I'm just struggling with the other 4 days a week on finding time to workout. We moved our workouts to later in the day so I can put another hour into my work day and then hopefully not have to work at home each night too. I'm extremely lucky to have him on my side, he helps me work through so much. I couldn't believe that I broke down and just started crying in front of him when I was telling him how tired I am and how I'm letting him down by being tired all the time during our workouts. Once I broke down, I felt so much better and had energy again for our workout. Is it the end of the stress - no, do I feel better about letting Tim know during the day where I'm at, yep.

I met with a nutrionist today too. Tim set it up. (If only he was 10 years older and not living with someone!) Found out that I'm not eating enough calories based on the workouts I'm doing and I need more protein. She gave me food plans and told me how much of everything to eat a day. I feel so much better over that too - Tim trained me for free today and used the session on the nutritionist so I didn't have to pay for it. I'm never letting this man go.

I'm meeting my old boss tomorrow night for a going away gathering. All of his direct reports are meeting after work. Obviously he left under circumstances outside of his control so we are all meeting to see him. I can't wait. he called today and it was just like old times - he always called me when he needed the phone number of someone else and that's what he called for today! We are all meeting at the same restaurant I met him at for my first interview with him...wow, what memories. My life changed the day I met him.

I feel like today was that day when people tell you have to hit rock bottom before you start getting better, so better must start for me tomorrow.

 

[maroo]

I am so sorry!!!

Hang in there!!

I had a very stressful job at one point, too...that was very similar to that. About 10 doctors to answer to, etc. And I finally quit. I just could not take it anymore.

But the next job I took was AWFUL!!! I wished, for the whole 6 months I was there, that I had never left my first job! (I was at the first job for 8+ years.)

Then, I got very "lucky"...or was blessed to run into...and old friend. And talking to her led to another job. It is just like my first one...but only for 2 doctors instead of 10! So, literally, not stressful anymore. Just the right amount of work to keep me busy for my 32 hours a week.

I guess I say that to encourage you...to stick with the job you have. And in this economy, it would be not advisable to get another one! Unfortunately! The next job I had was HORRIBLE! I can't really express that enough. I was miserable!

I guess I am saying...hang in there. And try to find someone (or us!) to let off steam to...

I do think, once the shock of losing your boss and your co-workers has a little time to heal...that you will feel better about things.



And that is GREAT news from your nutritionist! You could eat a little more and be more likely to lose weight! Woo Hoo!

 

[Goofydiane]

Thanks for stopping by Maroo!

When you feel like you have hit rock bottom, there is no where to go but up and I felt great yesterday! Maybe that is because our director is gone until Monday, maybe it is because after having dinner with my old boss and knowing he is so relaxed and at ease now makes me feel so much better.

I spent yesterday laughing and I can't remember the last time I did that. It was such a fun day and I want more of these days.

Had a workout with Tim last night and it felt great. I didn't feel exhausted the entire time. Last Season on the Biggest Loser, I saw one of the women doing 400lbs or so on the leg press and I said to Tim that if she could do it, so could I. We did it last night without him telling me and yippee! I did it. I feel a good run starting and getting back on track 100% with everything.

Now, if I could just figure out what the heck I'm doing up at 4:00am!

 

[maroo]

Up at 4 AM!! Yikes!!

Go back to bed. lol



I am so glad you had a better day and very happy for your old boss...that he is doing so well!

Way to go on 400 lbs!!!!! Leg press! Woo Hoo! You are rocking on that working out stuff.

Have you started adding the extra protein to your diet? I have a feeling that is going to allow you to push a little harder, if you can imagine, in your workouts and not feel so tired. And I believe you will lose more weight eating a little more, too!! An experiment!!

Congrats on your good day!

 

[Amy&Dan]

Diane, I am so glad you felt better yesteday! I am proud of you for talking to Tim and letting him help you through this. And I think you need to just hang tough with your co workers and not let them take advantage of you.

That is so sweet Tim gave you a session for free, he obviously really does care and wants to invest himself in your success. What a nice guy. For sure don't let him go! (I need a Tim).

Must be something in the air, I hit an emotional rock bottom on Wednesday and just fell apart. But got back on the wagon yesterday. I guess we are learning arent' we?

Hang in there and just keep on keeping on!

I hope you had fun with your boss the other night. And I hope he finds a great job very soon! Maybe you can go work with him again?!

 

[Goofydiane]

thanks Amy and Maroo, it's great to have support.

I see me starting to climb up the big hole I dug myself over the past months. I can visually see me wanting to run on a treadmill and that isn't like me...I'm not a runner.

i reviewed the list of food and the meal plan put together by the nutritionist and man...there is a lot of eating, it is just eating good, healthy foods and not 2 meals of healthy choices and one meal of junk. I just need to be strong and avoid the junk.

The weekend has been good, I'm spending a lot of time working and I'm ok with that because I feel like I'm getting caught up and getting organized for the next week. I'm finally all caught up on emails and projects, now it is on to getting changes made and written up that are needed for 2009.

I feel good right now and I'm going to keep working and staying focused on feeling good.

 

[Goofydiane]

Today was another good day and I feel good about it. Work again took 12 hours of my day, but I spoke to my new boss today and she is learning about my work flow and I feel the more I keep her in the loop of everything I've got going, the better chance I have of making my contractor a permanent position.

I did sprints today! 15 sprints at 8.0 incline and 6.0 mph. 45 seconds each with a minute recovery between each one. It felt so good to be running and not feeling like I'm going to collapse part way through. I never thought I would say that I was looking forward to running, as it is one activity I've never really liked. This journey changes lots of things, I am learning more about myself.

I started thinking about dining options for my October trip....it's never to early to think about food! My list was longer than the number of table services I hve and I got thinking about doing the deluxe dining plan so I could try so many different places. WHAT??? The decision was short lived, I don't need all that food, no matter how much I will enjoy it. Besides, I'm there during Food and Wine, and my mom will want to eat at booths. So I'm back to paring down the list. I'm not sure why I'm looking at food 7 months before I trip, I've never been that much of a planner - I think it is because my mom put me in charge of this trip that I want to make it right for her.

Maybe there will be a time when I combine Disney with one of their running events...maybe that will be my 2010 trip!

 

[Amy&Dan]

Diane, I am so glad you are feeling positive and back on track. And so impressed you are looking forward to running! You should definitely do one of the WDW runs in 2010. I would love to do that someday.

Yeah, the Deluxe DDP is so much food I can't even imagine. I mean obviously I am a big eater but the regular ddp is a ton of food. And those food booths are the best part of Epcot in October! And they count as snack credits which means you still have your cs and ts meals. I can't wait to hear what you final list is. I love to live vicariously through other people's trip plans!

Keep up the great work, you are back!!!

 

[maroo]

I didn't realize you were going to Disney in October? Are you doing the 13K?

How did I miss that? What are your dates?

Congrats on the good decision about the Dining Plan. I want to start planning our October trip...but I can't until they open registration and I find out what resorts are available and how much all of that will be.

We will most likely not do the dining plan, because we will be eating so strangely due to the race. But who knows!

 

[Goofydiane]

Thanks Amy and Maroo!

I'm at WDW from October 1-10 with my mom. Mom has always wanted to go to Food and Wine so we are going. I'm going to look into the different choices for events in 2010 and choose one to do. I know I don't want to do a 1/2 marathon, I'm just not interested in running for that long in one stretch. Halloween is one of my two favorite times of year, so the TOT 13K is one of the events I'm looking at.

Today was another good day, I gave my pre-review to my new boss today. This is my chance to tell her how fabulous I am. What's so funny about this, is I give her a score of where I think my review should be and our final revie scores have already been submitted for approval, so really, what I say doesn't matter, they've already decided everyone's review score. It is a none value use of time if you ask me. I of course told her I was fabulous!

I did sprints prior to my workout with Tim and he started it off by having me do squats and lunges. This was all in shoes without socks because I forgot them! There was no way I was wearing my black dress socks to work out in, I'm ok sweating in front of people, but there is no way I'm working out in a gym in black socks! How vain is that....

I'm going to stop and Target and buy a six pack of athletic socks for back-up. The 22 pairs of white socks I have at home must not be enough to remember to place socks in the gym bag!

 

[maroo]

I am sure your new boss will come to realize how lucky she is to have such a capable person on her team!!!!

We had such a blast at MNSSHP when we were there last October! We were there Oct 3 - 9th...so right at the same time! It is a GREAT time to go!

I will have to tell ya how the ToT 13K is!

You might also like the Race for the Taste...10K...it has Food and Wine stuff with it!

We missed out on the Food and Wine festival when we were there. We had a little illness go through our trip and missed our Epcot day.

But you guys are going to have a blast!

I have no doubt that you would do GREAT with whatever race/event you choose!!!

You are doing a great job.

And I am so with you on the socks! I finally put an extra set of socks, undies and a bra in my bag! To have in there...just in case...always!

Awesome job!!! Keep it up!!

 

[Goofydiane]

I'm with ya maroo! I packed my gym bag today like I was taking a trip! 2 pairs of everything and I checked it all twice! There was no way I was going without socks again. I don't even go barefoot in the summer, so no socks for a work out...ewwwww.

I'm not holding my breathe that my boss will figure out how good any of us are, she just doesn't have people skills in her dna. I always thought that I struggled interacting with people at work, she is worse. She's uncomfortable in social situations. We are all learning every day just how much our boss shielded us from her. Regardless of my boss, I'm happy with myself and where I'm going and I've accepted that whatever happens is God's will and I'll be ok with whatever happens.

 

[Goofydiane]

I went shopping yesterday! YIKES! Bought a new camera at Circuit City. It's a Nikon D40, so it is an older model year, but at 50% off it will work for what I need it to do. I'm not a photographer, but my old camera is 5 megapixels and this one is 10 and for me that is enough.

I then went shoe shopping and bought 2 new pair. Don't get excited, they are both workout shoes. I'm depressed that I went up 1/2 size in shoe size. I wear the Brooks running shoes and they run small, so feet are in a bigger shoe now. I'm supposed to be getting smaller, not larger in size! It's hard to adjust to, but if I don't tell anyone, then I'm the only one who knows. Maybe better fitting shoes will lead to wanting to work out more and better workouts.

I'm still struggling through the amount of food in the nutrionists plan. I can do really well for 2 meals and then it seams like for dinner I want to reward myself for being good all day long! I can't figure out how to get past that.

I did really well with no-work weekend. Only worked for about an hour today and that was because I went downstairs to do a cardio workout during the Daytona 500 and I didn't realize there was 90 minutes of pre-race coverage and I am not walking during that. I need the race. It's starting soon, so down to the treadmill I go.