DH's crappy (Or nonexistant) gifts

[FayeW]

I had a similar situation, though not nearly as extreme, last Christmas. He needs to be told in no uncertain terms, that it is NOT OK to ignore holidays and special occasions. "That's just the way I am" in NO excuse. My conversation with my husband went something like "What the heck is wrong with you that you have to be told to buy your wife a Christmas gift?!? This is not new information! Are you 2 or are you 38?? You shouldn't have to be told how to behave. Nobody has to tell me to buy you gifts, make meals, do laundry. People give gifts to their families at Christmas. That's what we do!"

 

[jkovick]

Is he a good husband and father otherwise? Gifts really aren't important to some people, maybe he is one of them.
On the other hand if this is just one of many problems, because it sounds like you are very unhappy, it may be time to think about speaking to a marriage counselor. Sometimes an objective third party can help work out all the "stuff" that builds up.
I am sorry your feelings were hurt. I hope things get better.

 

[Jeafl]

Well, I have a somewhat different problem. Today is my birthday and I can tell you pretty much exactly what I will get from my husband. Every year he asks me for a list and then proceeds to systematically get me everything on it. Just once, I wish he would come up with something on his own, put some thought into it. He just prefers for me to tell him what to get. I'm very grateful, and his heart is in the right place, but a little spontaneity wouldn't kill him.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

In my house sometimes we give gifts, flowers delivered to me at home, cards, out to eat, a hug & a just a cake with a song. It varies.

Bottom line dh & I love each other and show it daily so the "gifts" on a certain day is really not a big deal. But we do acknowledge it in some way or another.

Happy Birthday to the Ladies of "The Dis"!!!!

 

[popeyeohoh]

That was low class!! But like jkovik I hope he is usually a good guy. If this is his worst trait that is bad but not awful. If it is just another item on his list of dirty deeds he should be _________!!!

 

[Serena]

Happy Birthday Missy!

I am so sorry your husband is like this. I wish I had some advice, but it's either already been given or you've done it already.

I don't know what to say to make it better. He isn't going to change. It doesn't sound like it bothers him that you are upset about this either.
I think for your benefit, you have to deal with it a different way. You have got to figure out how not to be hurt by it. Figure out a way that you make yourself feel special on your birthday.
You shouldn't have to feel bad on your birthday because of his carelessness. Take him out of the equation, have your own party, I don't know. I just feel bad about this.

I dealt with that too. If I receive a present it was what he thought I should have, or he some how made a joke out of it at my expense. But my ex at least tried some times.