DH's crappy (Or nonexistant) gifts

[missyc]

Yesterday was my B-Day and I casually mentioned something about it to DH a few days ahead of time "just in case" there was any chance of him doing something for me. Yeah right.
He did nothing. in the morning our 2 DD's were excited and told their dad. He said he would take them to the store to get me a gift as soon as they get home from school. Wrong again!
It's my mom's B-Day too and I was on my way to Publix for the cake when DH had the balls to whisper and told me to get myself something while I'm out for the kids to give me. Of course I told hime no...and left to get my mom some flowers and the cake.
Last Christmas he didn't get me anything again and when the kids felt bad in the morning he took them in the other room and I figured he must have gotten something. Oh WRONG again! He gave them a CHECK to give me. It was thoughtless, but I was glad to have $300 to buy some clothes and stuff. He took the check back the next day and was gonna give me cash, never saw 1 penny.
Is he the worst, or are there others?

 

[Pugdog007]

Uh... I'd have to say he's about the worst.

I thought this thread would be about "bad" gifts i.e. weird stuff you don't know what to do with... I could relate to that. I cannot however relate to receiving nothing. That's inexcusable.

 

[tmli]

My dh and I recently seperated but he would often do exactly what you are describing. Once he forgot my b-day completely until the afternoon when my Mom called. On the morning of the occasion he would sometimes go to the computer and make me a card--and then get mad because I didn't appreciate the effort.

This was one of my biggest gripes. Not because of the present but because he didn't feel I was worth the effort it took to think of me on special occasions.

 

[missyc]

Originally posted by Pugdog007
Uh... I'd have to say he's about the worst.

I thought this thread would be about "bad" gifts i.e. weird stuff you don't know what to do with... I could relate to that. I cannot however relate to receiving nothing. That's inexcusable.

True. I just changed the title of the thread.

 

[diznygirl]

Ya know, we girls are easy to shop for. We love flowers and things that sparkle. Both you can get at the last minute. Meanwhile, I never have a clue what to get DH - Best Buy needs to have a gift registry!

I'm sorry for you Missy - Time to take yourself for a day at the spa - tell him his gift to you is watching the kids while you are out!

 

[SnowAngel]

My dh usually forgets my birthday or a present on other holidays. He has gotten better.


I say string with up with silly putty by a nail and beat him with a wet noodle. (it's what I told dh I would do if he forgot again. He's got better even if it's just a card)

 

[HeyMickey]

Aww... that's so sad. It would be one thing if he meant well but was got you weird stuff - I think it's kinda cute when guys do that - but never getting you anything is just lazy. If I were you I'd go have a little shopping spree for myself, but that's probably fiscally irresponsible of me.

My birthday was yesterday too! Yay!

 

[Lisa L from MI]

You are NOT alone!!! I haven't received anything for my BD for a LONG time now!!!.....or anniversaries......valentines day.....sweetest day....and usually Christmas....EXCEPT last Christmas he did by "me" a flat panel computer monitor (which is for the ONLY computer in the house)....his excuse is he doesn't know what to get me.

I don't think he has ever bought something for the kids to buy me ever....they are now 8 and 11

 

[disneyworld!]

my ex, well lets just say he had "issues" and "stole" presents for me one year. so I feel your pain! guys just do not think!
so what...he did not BUY you anything! He could have done breakfast in bed...with the kids, etc...it is called being creative! things and thoughts from the heart out weight more then anything store bought (or stolen)

 

[missyc]

Originally posted by disneyworld!
my ex, well lets just say he had "issues" and "stole" presents for me one year. so I feel your pain! guys just do not think!
so what...he did not BUY you anything! He could have done breakfast in bed...with the kids, etc...it is called being creative! things and thoughts from the heart out weight more then anything store bought (or stolen)

Are you kidding? Breakfast in bed? There is an even smaller chance of that happening as it would take much more time, effort, and THOUGHT.

 

[remyandhollandsmommy]

This happened to me one year on my birthday (and every year for our anniversary *sigh*). I got NOTHING! I was really bummed and never wanted it to happen again, which is why we have the "Angela buys her own gift" policy in our house. This policy also cuts down on the must be returned because it was the ugliest sweater I ever saw gifts. DH still gets me something though, he is just not trusted with the "big" gift. He is a big "money/gift card giver". I think it is because he lacks that special spark of imagination normal people have.

 

[disneyworld!]

maybe it is time for a taste of his own medince!

 

[TigerBear]

Originally posted by diznygirl
Ya know, we girls are easy to shop for. We love flowers and things that sparkle.

Isn't that the truth? How come so many men just don't get this?

 

[missyc]

Originally posted by disneyworld!
maybe it is time for a taste of his own medince!

I tried that once. Actually, I always think it, I just can't DO it! Especially with kids. I've taught them better than that. Last year on his B-Day we did NOTHING. But I did give in in the end. It fell on a Wednesday and while he was at church me and the kids went to Publix and got cupcakes. What can I say, I'm better than that. And it meant a lot to the kids too. And they didn't know that it was a last minute thought either.

 

[disneyworld!]

thats right missy because you have heart!
maybe you need to really just sit down with him, and let him know how much it hurts you. maybe it will start to sink in!

 

[Buckalew11]

Well, your description makes think he is the worst. We've had agreements about no gifts before but otherwise I receive something. Sorry your DH is so thoughtless of your feelings.

 

[Octoberbeauty]

I frequently got nothing from my ex too. I was never on his "important" list. I learned to buy myself something if I wanted a gift.

 

[Dan Murphy]

Sorry your hubby showed little thought, but good to know he does have balls and if giving a gift, it is crap. Hope it turns around a bit.

 

[Aimeedyan]

aw, I'm so sorry. I hope your bday was good other than that! At least your kids remembered and were excited!

Have you told him how that makes you feel? LIke a real heart to heart - when you're not fuming? What is his response?

 

[Shugardrawers]

My ex-hole used to do this ALL the time. He'd get wasted the night before then bring me flowers on my birthday. I wasn't sure if it was a suck up gift or an actually birthday gift. If he stayed sober I didn't get any gift. Guys, flowers and stuffed animals DO NOT make up for a night of carousing with the guys until 4am. Thank heavens my current DH is a dream about gifts. He picks up the hints easily and NEVER forgets my birthday, anniversary, valentines day, even mother's day and I'm only a puppy mom and step mom! He and the dog bought me a potting bench I'd been drooling over this year for mother's day. Now my sisters DH, he's another story. He hasn't a clue, even when I tell him outright what she wants. He has also been known to take her birthday gifts for himself. His mom gave DSis $1000 for her birthday. BIL used it to go to a beer can collectors convention! This was after lecturing her about how she should use it to pay some bills and put some in savings! What a selfish prig sometimes!