DH...the scrooge

[That Mom]

My DH has been to Disney World 3 times, my dd has been 15 times. I'm sure it has been 20 years since he was last there. The ONLY thing he likes is the Sci-Fi Diner. We decided years ago that it made no sense to spend so much money for him to go when he didn't enjoy it so I started taking the kids with my mom or sister. We had a blast and he was just fine staying home.
He is going with me in October and has no desire to be involved in the planning. I promised that I wouldn't "drag him all over the parks"and he has agreed to try some things I suggest. Maybe he will agree to go again before another 20 years go by.

 

[pigletto]

I'm the planner. Dh asks for very little. He might help me decide between a few resorts, or request one specific meal. But in 9 trips it's all been up to me. However, he has a great time and I have heard several times "Kids, your mom plans the best trips ever!"
He appreciates it, but doesn't get excited until it's almost time to go. He's usually swamped with school and work and we take our vacations right after his exams. So he loves putting down the books, packing a bag and having fun for a week without having to worry about the details. It works for us so I don't mind. He was talking about DVC at dinner the other night though. Which is weird for him. I think we mostly decided it just doesn't make sense for us (again) but it was interesting that he brought it up.

 

[mdutch39]

My DH has no clue, and to be honest I think he is a weirdo and I like my plans better. So he just goes along with it. The only thing that bothers me is his lack of Disney knowledge. I'll be like "omg babe this is like the coolest thing ever" and he is all like "what is Snow White." Literally though I started singing "heigh ho" and he looked at me like I was nuts.

Military Wife & Disney Lover. be there December 15-18.

 

[stitch1094]

I need some advice on how to handle my DH. He is a notorious scrooge.
He is on board to go on our 1st family vacation (kids are 8 and 5) and he is on board with that vacation being Disney. He wants NOTHING to do with the planning. I have planned everything. I have tried to sit down with him and ask his opinion on things like restaurants or our car rental and he just says do what you want.

He refuses to listen to anything about Disney, such as the strategy of rope drop, the shoes we need to wear, the pros and cons of offsite vs. onsite....

He hates crowds, walking, standing in line, and taking pictures. Umm, that is what Disney is about isn't it?

I get that not everyone is going to be excited over every detail so I am doing as much as I can on my own - and I am getting my ideal vacation so I am happy about that. I just don't know what I can do to get him to realize what he is getting himself into and prepare him for what to expect at Disney.

Should I just forget it and he'll be just as surprised at everything as the kids will be when they get here or should I be pushing him to go through some of the details with me.

How involved are your DH's?

As a "DH" this is exactly what makes me want to throw my laptop through the window. I know its your first trip and you want to make it perfect but RELAX. You are a grown adult - do you really need to ask what kind of shoes to wear? Seriously? Its fun to plan but you cannot plan every single detail. There will be unexpected things that will pop up such as weather, ride closures, refurbs, etc that will mess up your plans. Also, Im sure you know your husband's likes and dislikes. That should help you plan a lot of your ADR's. Remember this is a VACATION. Just go with the flow. Some of our family's BEST experiences have been unplanned and unexpected "magic".

 

[dsneprincess]

No one in my family ever wants to go anywhere! I just make the plans, keep my mouth shut until I make them go!

Just keep swimming.....

 

[misca]

You have me rolling on the floor! I am sitting next to DH right now and I paused the TV to read it to him. I wish I could have taken a picture of his face because he knew this post was him to a "T"!

It may be that he is a Marine and he is just used to people just telling him what to do, but we have 11 days till our trip and he was the same way to start off. I did get him to sit and watch the Vacation DVD and even though you may think your DH isn't listening, I caught my DH asking questions( he was quite mad that SoG is not a themed hotel like the other hotels)

I remembered that he had really wanted to try authentic shepard's pie, so I made a point of talking to him about Rose and Crown in Epcot and Raglan Road, just trying to get him involved.

I also have to add that he had a huge crush on Ariel when he was young, and I actually got him to open up about the character meet and greets and he was excited that he will get to meet her

 

[Dreamport]

He actually just went to the mall to find walking sandles before they go out of season, so something must be sinking in.

That is definitely a sign something is sinking in! I don't have a DH, or even a DBF, but I do have a Dad and he was the Scrooge-iest when I announced we were having one last family vacation. He used to be our planner and loved trips so I couldn't understand why he didn't want to know about the details. As long as he got on Test Track (they had delayed the opening our last three trips fifteen years prior) he would be happy.

What I ended up doing was asking him one thing every few days or so. "Would you want a kitchenette in the room? AoA has that, but a regular room doesn't." A week later I asked him what he'd like to eat for his birthday dinner and gave him options based on the park I'd already chosen for the day. After a while he would do something encouraging, like ask if Haunted Mansion had fastpasses or go buy shoes for walking around the park. The closer we got to the trip, the more open he was to actually knowing a detail here or there, but definitely not everything.

Plan and be patient. If he does finally speak up about something, see if you can alter or fit it in. Don't forget to plan breaks! There's always a nice sit down place (if you can get the ADR) or calming ride/show if you don't want to head all the way back to the hotel/resort.

 

[Maggie7313]

As a "DH" this is exactly what makes me want to throw my laptop through the window. I know its your first trip and you want to make it perfect but RELAX. You are a grown adult - do you really need to ask what kind of shoes to wear? Seriously? Its fun to plan but you cannot plan every single detail. There will be unexpected things that will pop up such as weather, ride closures, refurbs, etc that will mess up your plans. Also, Im sure you know your husband's likes and dislikes. That should help you plan a lot of your ADR's. Remember this is a VACATION. Just go with the flow. Some of our family's BEST experiences have been unplanned and unexpected "magic".

This feels a bit harsh. I don't think OP is trying to plan out every detail or micro-manage the family vacation. She just wants some input. Planning a first trip to WDW is fun it it is also hard and it helps to both have a strategy (even just a simple strategy) and make sure everyone is on board with that strategy. No one wants to face a first day at WDW discussion that includes why didn't we stay there or why didn't we eat that or why didn't you tell me about TSM fast passes. I just think it is easier to have the unplanned and unexpected magic and not sweat the small stuff when you have a plan in place for the big stuff. And someone who hates crowds, lines, and walking needs a strategy to mitigate those things.

Finally, the shoes do matter. My feet bled the first four times I went to WDW and I thought I was wearing good shoes. That's when I learned about rotating through multiple pairs of shoes.

 

[GaBelle]

My DH is a Disney scrooge too.
He completely relinquishes all trip planning to me with virtually no input. He gets somewhat involved in the beginning...he'll help select the resort, he insists on Dxdp, and mentions one or two restaurants he likes and that's it.

Now what irritates the stew out of me the most is when we get to Disney he tries to make changes to my plan that I have worked months on: let's go "here" instead, why are we leaving so early, I don't want to eat "x"- let's eat at Kona again.

I agree with others about not pushing, just take control over planning and do the best you can. But don't make the plans so rigid that they cannot be adjusted once you're there.
Best wishes and have a great time!

 

[Nancyg56]

Oh he is a scrooge. If it were up to him we would not do Christmas and birthday presents either. He even puts up a fight buying his own parents a gift at the holidays.

And not that this matters, but I am 100% paying for this vacation out of my own money that I have been saving for 4 years.

Thanks for all the replies, looks like I am not alone on this. I will keep planning everything until I can't plan anymore and he'll just have to live with the plans I come up with.

Don't worry. You are planning and planning, and you are invested in this. Your DH will get it once you arrive. My DH loves WDW, but when we were in full planning mode on our first trip, his first comment was that I have a back up plan in case my DGD was overwhelmed or scared. (His coworker's little girl only was happy in the pool, he never took the family back ) Less than a week before we left, he finally started to understand that some things really needed to be planned so his only question was if we have booked a meeting with Pluto. What? Kadys best friend is Pluto.....Book Pluto!" That was it.

DD, DSIL and I plan our trips. DH finally chimes in about a week or two before because that is when he starts to talk about vacation at work, and those guys all have suggestions.

It all works out.

As a "DH" this is exactly what makes me want to throw my laptop through the window. I know its your first trip and you want to make it perfect but RELAX. You are a grown adult - do you really need to ask what kind of shoes to wear? Seriously? Its fun to plan but you cannot plan every single detail. There will be unexpected things that will pop up such as weather, ride closures, refurbs, etc that will mess up your plans. Also, Im sure you know your husband's likes and dislikes. That should help you plan a lot of your ADR's. Remember this is a VACATION. Just go with the flow. Some of our family's BEST experiences have been unplanned and unexpected "magic".

You are right, up to a point. But what about those guys who never really think about footwear? My DH works in construction and we have a farm. He lives in boots. He owns one pair of sneakers that came off the boat with Columbus. No sandals. We went to Myrtle beach, and he decided I was right, he needed sandals. I meant weeks before we left, not when he needed them. The blisters!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now when we plan a trip, I discuss the necessities early on and he at least understands why I want to know if he wants to go shopping for footwear. I am not treating him like a child. I know what we are "walking" into, and he doesn't. I call it courtesy.

 

[HM]

My DH leaves the planning to me. I did such a good job the first time, that he decided that he didn't need to give any input in our many other trips. I don't really see that you have a problem, OP. You get the trip you want and he and the kids will just follow your lead.

 

[sb682]

My husband is not a planner, either. I grew up watching Disney Channel every day and going to WDW for every family vacation, but he grew up thinking of Disneyland/WDW as over-hyped amusement parks. He has fun when we go, as long as the crowds are light and the weather is nice. However, he doesn't even want to think about the trip until it's time to pack the suitcases and load up the car.

If you need a Disney discussion fix or someone to bounce ideas off of, talk about it on DIS. I made my husband a deal: I would stop talking about the trip unless I needed his input to make an ADR, but two weeks before we leave, we are sitting down and talking about what we each want to see and do, and any requests we might have. Maybe something like that would work for your family?

Try not to over-plan, either. I'm guilty of that. I look forward to our trips, I go on DIS, EasyWDW and other sites, and I get close to micromanaging each day of our vacations. Make a list of everyone's top 2 or 3 must-dos, and focus on those before lunch. Take it easy in the afternoon and evening, and do whatever seems appealing to your group. Since it's your family's first trip, your kids won't know what they're missing if you skip a ride or two. Be prepared to go with the flow. You might think you know what your kids will want to ride, but after you get there, they might surprise you. And if someone is not having fun, it's time for the whole group to take a break for some ice cream, a ride on the People Mover, or to head back to the resort for a nap.

Hope your DH comes around when you get there. I'm sure he'll at least enjoy making the kids happy, even if he doesn't become a Disney convert himself.

 

[Gorechick]

What is it with husbands and Disney? My DH is a grump about it too! I have seen so many threads over the years about husbands who dislike or gripe about Disney. I know with my DH it's the cost, the heat ( we go in August ) and the running around that makes him gripe about Disney. He'd be happy if he never went again.

 

[Mousemommy1]

My DH loves Disney. He loves our trips to Disney (and we go every year). However, he really wants nothing to do with the planning. All he wants is for me to let him know the dates, so that he can write it down on his work calendar and that's about it. Sometimes, he will throw out where he would like to eat, but he leaves pretty much everything up to me.

I think there are several reasons for this. I think that the biggest reason is that I am a constant resort changer. I change my mind about where to stay a billion times before we actually get there, so he has just given up on giving any input in that respect.

I am not an uber-planner though when it comes to Disney. We are very laid back and do what we want when we want. We sleep late and don't do a ton of ADR's, so I would never really have the opportunity to discuss those kind of details with him anyway.

He would like to take a vacation elsewhere, like in the Caribbean or Hawaii and I have told him that I can plan a Disney vacation like a pro - if he wants to go elsewhere, he needs to book it and plan it...guess where we keep going year after year...

 

[lustergirl]

Oh he is a scrooge. If it were up to him we would not do Christmas and birthday presents either. He even puts up a fight buying his own parents a gift at the holidays.

And not that this matters, but I am 100% paying for this vacation out of my own money that I have been saving for 4 years.

Thanks for all the replies, looks like I am not alone on this. I will keep planning everything until I can't plan anymore and he'll just have to live with the plans I come up with.

if my hubby was not helping foot the bill his sorry behind would be staying home

See ticker below. Hubby does not want to go until next year.

 

[Maggie Lizer]

I took DH for his first Disney trip when he was in his 30s and he had no idea what to expect. I really only told him about the heat, the need for 2 pairs of good shoes, and a few of the restaurants I thought he'd like. Oh, and that alcohol was available nearly everywhere. I didn't bog himn down with planning details, such as whether or not we were going to rope drop, which rides we had to hit first, etc. And, knowing he is not a big "get up and go in the morning" kind of person, I only planned rope drop for the 2 parks I felt really needed it - MK and DHS - and planned more laid back days for the rest of vacation.

Now that he knows what to expect, and has been a couple more times, he has made some requests for restaurants for our next trip, and he knows to wear good shoes, and he has asked we plan even more down days for exploring resorts or the pool.

OP, I wouldn't sweat your DH not being much into the planning. I'd just try to make sure I took his interests and likes into consideration. If you suspect he won't care for MK much, but would love a nice dinner (without the kids) at Citricos or something, why not work that into the plan? If he might like fishing, golf, or the Richard Petty experience, can you swing it?

 

[dbennett3899]

One man’s opinion! Reading some of these posts really depress me and actually make my blood boil a bit. I feel really bad for those of you who have spouses that… dare I say… just don’t get it! The magic, the memories, the laughter, the love you share with families.

My wife and I have gone to WDW every year since we’ve been married. I do the bookings and such but she is heavily involved in the planning as well. We talk Disney all the time, not only to make sure everything is organized but it actually excites us as we think of new things to do and old things that we’ve done that we can make new again which will then ignite side convos of past memories and laughter.

I couldn’t imagine doing Disney without her and to read some of these posts makes me sad a bit.

 

[whitney37354]

DH said this was a once in a lifetime trip. We agreed that we would do it up right, with deluxe dining, club level MK view @ CR, all the character meals we could get, water parks. I did all the planning, ADR's, which parks on which days.

Once we got there, we went to all ADR's, and just did whatever & wherever for the rest of the time. We had a great time & DH promised to take us back again. When we got home, DH bragged to everyone about how well I researched & planned everything out!

This time we're travelling with another family & she made three ADR's for us. We got park hoppers & are pulling our travel trailers down to Ft. Wilderness. We are just going with the flow this time, trying to do some of the things we missed last time.

I have planned every vacation we've ever taken. DH tells me where he wants to go & I do the research & put it in a notebook. Once we are at the destination, DH goes through the notebook & decides what we'll do.

 

[Ginny Favers]

My DH is the worst. He refuses to plan anything, saying, "That's your job, I don't care, you do it." And then even though I've been planning things for months, two days before we go, he'll say something like, "I really want to blabbity blah blah blah" which completely interferes with any plans I've already made. Like a day ago, he said he really wanted to see the fireworks from the Poly when I planned on going to the parks that day. Like clockwork!

 

[ChristineNic]

We are here now. My dh was totally uninvolved. But now that we are here, he's questioning all my plans and changing things. I'm doing my best to go with the flow and keep everyone happy. But it's annoying!!!!

I think we are married to the same guy. When planning our most recent trip, I asked DH for input regarding hotels. He said, "I don't care where we stay, but keep the price as low as possible so we have more spending money." I planned a split stay - two nights off site with SPG points and two nights at POP.

On our arrival day, we had lunch at the GF Cafe. DH complained that I hadn't booked us to stay there. Sigh.