I can definitely understand his feelings toward Whispering Canyon... they are definitely the most "over the top" of any of those "types" of restaurants. We didn't have a great experience... too loud, server boardered on obnoxious and didn't know when to quit, and the food wasn't at all good. Our breakfast there wasn't as bad, but we got there when they 1st opened, and I don't think the servers were quite up to snuff by then...lucky for us!
Our "adventure" at Whispering Canyon almost made us miss out on Prime Time 50's Cafe. I am so glad I took the chance and ate there anyway. It was fun, not loud, and the food was great. Yes, they did pick, but not in an obnoxious way.
As for 'Ohana... other than the server calling you "Cuz" repeatedly, there is no picking... the kids are invited to participate in the coconut race and hula hoop contest, but don't worry, your husband won't be, so he needn't worry. We thought that 'Ohana was pretty laid back.
If you do the character meals, just let the hostess know for the characters to leave your husband alone. Sometimes they pick a little at Breakfastosaurus, and the Mad Hatter has been known to pick a little at 1900 Park Faire. Mostly, though, if you let the hostess/server know, they will leave the "stick in the mud" member of the party alone.