DH is not a fan....

[DisneyPrince1982]

I should add, too, that we've had teh reverse happen as well - that DH really wanted to go somewhere (in this case a wintertime snowmobiling trip into Yellowstone), and I was not very excited about it - much like DH felt about Disney before our honeymoon trip. I'd already been to Yellowstone (in the summer), I was *really* not interested in the negative 20 degree weather, I was scared about driving a snowmobile by myself, etc.

It is, by far, one of the best trips I have ever had in my life. Anywhere. To the point that I seriously tell people who want to go to Yellowstone to go in the winter and do the snowmobiling. It was *amazing*. They only allow a certain # of snowmobiles into the parks each day, so we felt like we were pretty much alone in the park. The snow, the wildlife...snowmobiling 5 ft away from bison. Words do not do justice to how amazing that day was. And driving the snowmobile was fun! And I was sweating in all the layers I had on, even though it was negative 20 degrees!

I am so happy that DH was so determined to go on that trip even though I didn't want to. Now I can't wait for DD to be old enough to go snowmobiling with us so we can do it again

Hey that actually sounds awesome. Do you mind, when you get some free time, PM'ing me some info about that?

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Which is why, if a certain issue or vacation spot is important to someone, like Disney seems to be to the OP, it should have been at least discussed when they were dating.

If you'd have asked me what I thought of Disney after my trip to Disneyland when I was 10, I would have said, "it's not as cool as Six Flags".


If you'd have asked after I went to MK at 17 (on a day I wanted to be at the beach), I would have told you, "it sucks".

It took the addition of AK 13 years later to get me back, and I still skipped the other parks & it took having kids to get me to actually enjoy MK. MK is still not my favorite park, but I want to go back there. I'm just don't want to come back from there & immediately start planning my NEXT trip there. Too much, too soon.

 

[Lisaloo]

Our vacation time is extremely important to us and my DH works very hard all year to provide some great trips. We take everyone's interests into account when planning, but frankly, I make sure that he is going to be relaxed and enjoying himself each time. The kids will always find something to enjoy wherever we go (theme park, beach, skiing). I wouldn't plan a trip that my partner disliked, we are a team.

 

[TravelingTotMom]

My DH humored me with trips to Disney while we were dating, but over the years I've worked very hard to make sure we do things he enjoys doing... and we actually just bought FL Resident Seasonal Passes (with no resistance from him!).

Someone mentioned Epcot Food and Wine Festival. Have you been to that? It is by far my DH's favorite event at Disney, and he looks forward to going back to it. We are planning on spending part of 3 of our 5 days there eating at the kiosks.

DH also enjoys Living with the Land, so this next trip we are going to do the Behind the Seeds tour.

I'm planning on squeezing in a short Dec. trip too for all of the holiday events and was planning just one night. His response was "We're only going to stay one night?"

Sometimes they can come around...

 

[erij11]

OP, I totally understand. My family went on our first trip to WDW just last year. For years, I wanted to go but my DH didn't. Well, I finally got him to agree to a trip and our youngest DD was 14 going on 15 at the time. One my DH's biggest issues is he doesn't like getting up early on vacation. We are both up at 5:30am every day for work so I do get that. I can get up early just fine because it is Disney! Our compromise was that he got to sleep in and we'd go to rope drop and meet up with him on our afternoon breaks. It worked out great. He had what he wanted in the morning and so did we. After our breaks, we had dinner and then hit the parks for the rest of the night. My DH had a good time but he isn't really interested in going back as much as my daughter and I are. We are really okay with that.

So I took a trip with my DD and a few family members without him in July. It was fantastic and I think he enjoyed his time at home. I'm planning another trip with just my daughter in January. Our next WDW trip as a family will most likely be in March/April 2017 *(when DD travels with her high school marching band) and he is just fine with that and already talking about it.

I think compromise is the key and figuring out what it is that keeps him from wanting to go. I agree with other posters that if you can find what it is he likes and wants to do (or doesn't want to do) it might prove helpful. Or you might be okay going without him sometimes. I know I am. And about your daughter's age, if she loves Disney, she loves Disney. I thought my daughter was too old at 14 but she fell in love just as I did and she is ready to go anytime and is already talking about taking her own kids later in life. I'm a bit sad that we didn't go when she was younger but it all worked out fine. I'm sure we will be going once or twice a year from now on.

 

[ZephyrHawk]

Well, luckily my DH loves Disney. But if he didn't, I'd just say, "Aw, that's too bad. Have fun playing your video games at home alone while DD and I are vacationing. Bye!"

 

[ArwenMarie]

This exactly is my point! We have plenty of years to do other vacations. Last year when it was our daughter's first trip, i cried walking into MNSSHP and seeing her face light up when she saw the castle and when we watched the fireworks. That memory alone makes it all worth it to me to take her back because she had an amazing time and it's all she talks about. She is our only child and will be our only so I don't mind spoiling her with trips like this.

Aw, so cute. All of the ages are fun but there is something so precious about WDW when they are young.

 

[GaSleepingBeautyFan]

I took each of my kids by myself once so they could have fun with me and my husband stayed home with the other kid and worked. It worked out well for us. Both trips were 5 day trips and we had a great time.

Another time, we went for 5 days and he took off with the car one day to go to Kennedy Space Center. He loves it there. One trip he went alone while the kids and I went into the park, another trip my oldest wanted to go to so he took him. He planned it the day before so he could get the tickets for the special tour.
I've gone a couple of times and hated it so it works well to do that. Another time he spent only half days in the park and the rest of the half day either in the resort room on his computer which makes him happy or driving around Orlando hitting all the comic book and hobby shops. He was very happy doing that.
He has a friend who lives an hour away from Disney and usually takes time to visit that friend. And some other friends live in Orlando so he usually sees them too - last time we spent dinner and an evening with them. It was nice.

So maybe look for other things he might enjoy around Orlando or just you and your daughter go.

I tend to go solo most of the time now since the rest of the family doesn't care for Disney World the way I do.

 

[lroger01]

I agree that your second trip might be a bit too soon. As for your DH's reluctance, make sure he understands that first trips to Disney can be messy. You both know so much more now and can plan the trip to reduce many first-trip issues. You now know going to MNSSHP on arrival night was not the best - that maybe staying at the hotel and hitting rope drop the next day for fewer crowds is better. That go-go-go is not needed now since you know what you like and don't need to do EVERYTHING and so on. Unfortunately weather can be an issue no matter where or when you go.

The issue isn't that your last trip was not the best, but that it was your FIRST trip. Now that you're Disney pros, the next trip will be so much better!

I'd wait and do a spring trip. A little more time between trips will help the negative memories to fade. If you avoid Spring Break and Easter the crowds will likely be manageable and the weather better.

 

[mocame]

My DH doesn't care for Disney either. He agreed to take the kids one time back in 2009. We tailored the dining times and restaurants to his likes. We went to the pools in the afternoon for him and did a waterpark for him too. He came back from the trip saying he had fun but that was it. It was our kids' favorite vacation and we still talk about that trip. A few years after that first Disney trip, he agreed to go on one more Disney trip and that is it. After that, I will have to take the kids by myself. I'm okay with going solo with the kids because lately he's been really grouchy about going. Yesterday, he said he didn't want to go to Disney because all you do at Disney is dumb stuff. I have again tailored parts of this trip to his liking so that he may enjoy some of it. He is a beach guy and we have gone to the beach every year for the past 20 years and other than that, he just works. That is just his personality. I was actually considering cancelling him (with his agreement) from this next trip if he really doesn't want to go. I don't want to ruin the trip for the kids but I also know that the kids love Disney and I want him to be a part of those memories. We'll see.

 

[mjkacmom]

Agreed. Differences are important but not about vacations, IMO. And I know some people have an arrangement where one person picks a trip one year, and the other the next. But that wouldn't work for me, I'm too selfish for that, lol. I would want us both to be excited about every single trip we take.

Are you married? I've known DH for 35 years, have been married almost 20. He'd love to go backpack g through Europe, I'm content with a poolside cocktail. Vacations are not a big issue.

 

[jsmla]

DH and I are 35 years into an extremely happy marriage and we have very little in common when it comes to things like hobbies and vacation preferences. I think it's been a good thing for the most part. He's the camping, hiking, outdoorsy type and I'm more of a city girl. We've both experienced things we never would have tried if married to someone with similar tastes.

DH is definitely not a Disney guy but he goes with me every now and then. He LOVED our WDW trips when the kids were young because spending time making his family happy and seeing their joy more than made up for the fact that just watching the Teacups made him ill. He's that kind of guy and that's waaaay more important to me.

 

[mickeyluv'r]

Initially, I was in that position, but eventually he came around. Mostly.

1. It helps to listen. As others have said, find ways to work around the specifics of what he doesn't like (and does like) - if you can. More of what he likes, less of what he doesn't. Compromise!
2. A second way to improve your vacations is to look beyond WDW.. The new thing we've discovered is splitting our vacations: part WDW, part some place else. Florida is jam packed with all kinds of fun things to do and see: history, natural parks, beaches, the space center. Central FL is jam packed with different theme parks. Oh, and did I mention- we save $ flying into different FL airports.
3. Food, resort level, packing, car/bus etc. We found better ways to share travel perks and responsibilities.
4. My case is not your case, but the thought of WDW is different from actually being there and enjoying the moment. Maybe your guy focuses on the annoying crowds and lines BEFORE he goes, but can see the fun of acting like a silly pirate in the moment.
5. Kids. Try going with kids. Any kids he likes, doesn't have to be your own. Seeing WDW through the eyes of a child is vastly different from the view of an adult. Then again, some adults don't like exposing kids to so much commercialization and fakery. (AKL is pretty, but it is very much NOT Africa) Still, many adults prefer the more adult side of WDW.

There are many variables where WDW is concerned. Maybe there are no happy workarounds, but maybe there are. If I have learned one thing from the DIS it is that there isn't ONE RIGHT way to visit WDW, just many fun alternatives. Many DISers love but WDW but would be miserable taking on someone else's touring style.

 

[eeyoreland]

My husband doesn't care for it either. Didn't mind in the beginning, but now he thinks it's just the same thing year after year. Yes, we've gone yearly for about 14 years. He always went along with it to please DD and me. Now that DD is grown up and it's just him and me, we still go. Currently planning our second solo trip. We've been enough times that we don't have to do everything and have plenty of down time. What helps is doing his favorite restaurants and also spending a day or two away from Disney. We still come back for the night, but go out and about during the day. I totally agree with you (OP) wanting to go while your daughter is young. That's why we kept doing it. They don't stay young forever. It helps that as we've gotten older and earned more money that we can actually take an additional trip here and there to places he wants to visit. I think you can make it work!

 

[mickeyfanachey1999]

So does anyone else have to deal with their significant other not liking Disney? We as a family (myself, DH and daughter) along with my parents went to Disney last September. My daughter was 6 at the time and I'm really wanting to plan another trip for end of Oct 2016 but to stay on grounds this time (we stayed in a Condo last year) and I want to re-do MNSSHP (we missed the parade because of the rain.) our overall experience last year was great, but we went when it was abnormally rainy there so we were rained out a lot. My husband is less then thrilled about wanting to plan another trip. Our daughter will be 8 and I feel to take her while she's young and excited about it. Does anyone else deal with this? I want to plan this trip, but don't want him to be a sour puss about it all the time.

I told DW she never has to go. DS13 has the same option. DW, DS13 and DS4 have been to the beach 3 times this year. I prefer to save my vacation days for Disney trips and golf outings. I love the beach but I'd much rather be at Disney.

 

[dprincessmom]

He's not a fan of crowds, he'd rather do other vacations (which OK I can see, however our daughter is still a little young to appreciate other things then rides and swimming and stuff. lol) Plus, I don't plan on this trip being Disney Disney Disney. Yes I want to stay on grounds this time, however I want to plan a day and drive over to Clearwater to see the ocean and spend the day at the beach, have more resort days, etc. Our last trip was very hectic. flew in, that evening we went to MNSSHP, and every day after we were on the go. we really had no down time and I think that may be where he was just overwhelmed with it. so I guess we will see. Like I said I want to plan these trips while our daughter is young and still wants to go. It's honestly ALL she talks about since we went last year.

My DH is not an amusement park, crowd, hot kind of fan. Our solution has been small girl trips and then a family trip later? That was until this last trip when he went with us. I did not buy him a ticket and he was fine with that. He had access to a car and explored the other areas of Orlando. Most nights we had dinner as a family somewhere and then about half the nights caught the fireworks with him from our room at CR. He shocked me last month when he asked when we were going back what???? where is my hubby??? I haven't booked another trip yet, but now that I know what I have to do to get him to do WDW with us and enjoy himself, I am all in.

That doesn't mean that I regret our girls only trips with my sister and nieces and I would do those again in a heartbeat. Sometimes you just have to realize it is not for them and go about your business without them there but make certain the DH is included in other trips.

 

[skateshome]

Pretty sure the only correct answer is divorce.

 

[jsmla]

Initially, I was in that position, but eventually he came around. Mostly.

1. It helps to listen. As others have said, find ways to work around the specifics of what he doesn't like (and does like) - if you can. More of what he likes, less of what he doesn't. Compromise!

.............

There are many variables where WDW is concerned. Maybe there are no happy workarounds, but maybe there are. If I have learned one thing from the DIS it is that there isn't ONE RIGHT way to visit WDW, just many fun alternatives. Many DISers love but WDW but would be miserable taking on someone else's touring style.

This worked for us. We camp (It's not a bear shelter in a national park, it's a 5th wheel at Ft Wilderness, but, hey, it's camping), skip rope drop (I'm one of the few who has found FP+ to be a godsend) and usually spend more time poolside than in the parks but he enjoys the trip and I get my WDW fix.

 

[kate27]

"Do you like Disney" is a vetting question I use on all first dates. I see what their reaction is. If it's a flat out dismissal of all things Disney, then they are dismissed from the date. If they think its for kids but still somewhat fun, I can probably mold them.

LOL!! Love it!

 

[disnut8]

He's not a fan of crowds, he'd rather do other vacations (which OK I can see, however our daughter is still a little young to appreciate other things then rides and swimming and stuff. lol) Plus, I don't plan on this trip being Disney Disney Disney. Yes I want to stay on grounds this time, however I want to plan a day and drive over to Clearwater to see the ocean and spend the day at the beach, have more resort days, etc. Our last trip was very hectic. flew in, that evening we went to MNSSHP, and every day after we were on the go. we really had no down time and I think that may be where he was just overwhelmed with it. so I guess we will see. Like I said I want to plan these trips while our daughter is young and still wants to go. It's honestly ALL she talks about since we went last year.

That's where I think you need to start. Ask him specifically why he is hesitant on a Disney vacation next year when your daughter will be at still a good age for the experience. If it's because of your prior vacation there, then ask him how he would suggest you do things differently. You said every day you were on the go. By staying onsite, you wouldn't have to feel the need to rush out the door every morning since you can just take Disney transportation. Did he drive while you were there the last time? Now he won't have to. Ask him about down time and what he would like to do. Is there a tour or experience he can do himself while at Disney and you and your daughter go to the parks without him? I once signed my husband up for a four hour golf lesson and then the son and I went to Magic Kingdom and we met up later.

Also, you might want to ask him about talking to your daughter - together - about what she wants/needs. Maybe she doesn't even want/need a Disney trip. Maybe she'd rather go to a location your husband is thinking about.

There are three of you in the family. All should have a say in the decision.