Dh has learning difficulties

[ontariomonkey]

Despite my Dh being a wonderful and loving man, he unfortunately is too mentally deficient to do several things.

1. Putting kitchen garbage in the garbage can, recycling bin etc. He finds it much more convenient to leave it on the kitchen counter.

2. Putting laundry in the hamper. He leaves it on the bedroom floor where he steps out of it.

3. Loading his dirty dishes in the dishwasher. He unfortunately leaves his dirty plates down in the basement (where we eat in front of the TV - I know its a bad habit). If I'm really lucky, once every few months, he will bring a plate or two up to the kitchen counter.

Now I am no traditional wife, nor did I ever agree to be one. But it turns out that I don't like to live with garbage and dirty dishes around my house. So I end up clearing things up.

I know that I enable him. I agreed to do the laundry, but only if he puts his stuff in the hamper. But in the end, always end up picking it up off the floor. AND I even moved the hamper to his side of the bed to make it more convenient for him and he still throws his stuff on the floor. This makes it clear that he is manipulating me not just being absent minded or whatever.

So wives, does anyone have experience training their husbands in the daily activities of living? And I mean unwilling learners who are quite happy to live in a pig stye.

 

[treehugnmama]

if he didn't have clean laudry to wear I think that would go a far way....stop picking up and doing his laundry tell him if it is in basket i will do it if on florr i will not do it.

If you leave your dishes downstairs I am not cooking for you tomorrow.

Personally I think it is down right rude and disrespectful to you. Just because he doens't mind a pig sty doesn't mean you should have to live in one.

I must say I am not a clean freak but I couldn't deal with that either. My husband takes his outer layer off at the door jeans/shirt when coming in from work (he works with things that are harmfull to the kids) and he would leave it by the door so he could hug the kids when he gets in. As stupid as it looks we now have a hamper at my front door....problem solved

 

[anniemae]

Can TOTALLY relate to the garbage thing. DH and I play a little game of "who will break down and take the trash out?" We keep piling and placing and balancing trash in the kitchen bucket until it looks like the leaning tower of Pisa.

Eventually one of caves and empties it.

 

[Wishing on a star]

First, mentally deficient....
Yep..... know what you mean!!!
I always quote the old adage..... "MEN, they can send a man to the moon, but.........."

Second....
He is not a child... stop the enabling!!!

 

[Wishing on a star]

And, based on your post....
Hey, sometimes if it lives like a pick, smells like pig......

 

[minkydog]

This is not mental deficiency or learning disability, this is totally Y chromosome. It took my awhile to help my DH overcome his genetics, but now I've got him cleaning up the kitchen, doing the laundry, and taking out the trash(well, I still have to tell him to do that.)

First, stop doing his laundry. When you can't stand it any longer, put the laundry in a black garbage bag and put it in the basement or the attic. When he runs out of clean underwear and socks tell him to go look for his bag of laundry. And don't get up and help him either.

With the dishes, I'd just buy some disposables and and a trash can for the basement. He can take out that trash the same time he takes out the kitchen trash.

I don't know if you can teach an old dog new tricks. I taught mine when he was a much younger dog.

 

[Kath2003]

Despite my Dh being a wonderful and loving man, he unfortunately is too mentally deficient to do several things.

1. Putting kitchen garbage in the garbage can, recycling bin etc. He finds it much more convenient to leave it on the kitchen counter.

2. Putting laundry in the hamper. He leaves it on the bedroom floor where he steps out of it.

3. Loading his dirty dishes in the dishwasher. He unfortunately leaves his dirty plates down in the basement (where we eat in front of the TV - I know its a bad habit). If I'm really lucky, once every few months, he will bring a plate or two up to the kitchen counter.

Now I am no traditional wife, nor did I ever agree to be one. But it turns out that I don't like to live with garbage and dirty dishes around my house. So I end up clearing things up.

I know that I enable him. I agreed to do the laundry, but only if he puts his stuff in the hamper. But in the end, always end up picking it up off the floor. AND I even moved the hamper to his side of the bed to make it more convenient for him and he still throws his stuff on the floor. This makes it clear that he is manipulating me not just being absent minded or whatever.

So wives, does anyone have experience training their husbands in the daily activities of living? And I mean unwilling learners who are quite happy to live in a pig stye.

Does he have a room? Like an office? I would start shoving it all in there. Or in his car.

I don't do any washing that isn't in the laundry basket.
I don't do any dishes that aren't on the kitchen worktop next to the sink, waiting to be washed.

Time to kick some husband behind into gear methinks...

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

We had the cabinets open today b/c the bug guy was fixing our bug problem. Bug guy left, hubby saw the open cabinets and said he had to close them b/c he is mildly OCD. Now we've been married 11 years and while he can be picky, OCD never crossed my mind.

I told him that OCD people don't leave cans/bottles to be recycled in random places in the LR, DR, and kitchen. They would take them to the recycling bin.

He's about as OCD as I am June Cleaver.