destination wedding questions, sorry a lil long

[sbpebbles]

ok so my sister recently got engaged and is in the planning process of her wedding, which is set to happen TWO years from now...the idea of a destination wedding has been tossed around lately...Does anyone have a ballpark figure on how much those run, i guess she's talked about Jamaica specifically...She already knows she will be hiring a wedding coordinator (any idea the current going rate for those?) since they both have very busy schedules and if my sister is left doing it alone she will be a basketcase..

My sister is planning on having SEVEN girls standing up, yes i know that's a lot and we've tried to talk her down but she won't budge-not yet anyways..she wants my daughter to be in the wedding as well, since she's her goddaughter..but since DD is already 8 she will almost have to be a junior bridesmaid, correct? I'm wondering how much money I'll need to save for this type of wedding? I'm assuming I'll have to pay for my daughter's dress, shoes, and hair...I wasn't asked to be in the wedding so me and DS will just be attending the event.

So I know I will have to have money for airfare from either Milwaukee or Chicago, hotel and food...DS and I have passports already but will DD need one?...I'm hoping she goes to an all inclusive resort so that MIGHT make things easier..They currently live in FL and personally I hope we can talk her into a wedding on the beach there instead but sounds like she's got her heart set on a destination wedding and she's only going to do this once so why not..I'm wondering if anyone's got experience with this that could help me point her in the right direction, that's IF i can get her to listen to me lol...TIA!

 

[bumbershoot]

She will almost surely need to book at a resort that does these weddings, and they will have a coordinator as part of it. Unless she's been there often, I can't even imagine the stress of having to find every single vendor, including the coordinator, on her own.

Here is info from '05 about the legalities of being married there and having it be legal in America.

You will almost certainly be flying. Therefore, everyone needs a passport, even a child.

If she goes the all-inclusive route, like Sandals, she's going to have to *make sure* that the resort allows children, and if it doesn't, she really should see if there's a nearby place where people with kids (like you) can stay.

I wish her all the luck in the world in getting 7 women to stand up with her, with a wedding in Jamaica. I had 5 (would have been 7 but one disappeared and the other couldn't actually stand, or wear her outfit, because of having had major surgery the month before...I was amazed she chose to come!) and it was difficult to coordinate just one state away, let alone another country.


For both of you (you because you're her sister and will be an ear she'll want to talk into), be aware that 2 years to plan is a very long time. Yes, that sounds like Captain Obvious speaking. But really, 2 years...it's like starting to plan a disney trip a long time in advance. You make all of those life and death decisions, then make them happen, and then...you wait. And in that waiting time...other ideas pop into your head. And you start doubting yourself, changing things around, etc etc. PLus, things change in peoples' lives. Friendships wane, friends move, people have babies, people divorce, etc etc. A person free and single now, who agrees to be maid of honor now...could get married, have a baby, and be pregnant with another baby by the time this wedding rolls around...and she might not want to travel at that point. Things today will be very different then...

The other thing about having so many attendants, especially for a destination wedding like this is...you can end up feeling VERY lopsided, with tons of people standing and very few sitting. Since we had the 11 attendants plus jr b'maid (my sis was 7ish when we got engaged and 9ish when we got married, and she REFUSED to be called a flower girl by the time of the wedding) and ring bearer, but only 90 guests total, it felt a little silly, honestly. Your sis is likely going to have far fewer guests.



Anyway, resources can be found on weddingchannel.com and their forums, of course theknot.com (though if you think the community board here is brutal, you haven't been on theknot's boards yet), and constantchatter.com and their wedding planning forum. (the last forum was started by a regular human when the forums on weddingchannel got too moderated and frustrated the regulars, so we all left and became part of CC)

Good luck to the family!

 

[cjb71870]

Been to Jamaica.... We had a blast when we went, but also....

 

[buzz5985]

I think I would advise your sister to pick another destination a little closer to home. Jamaica hasn't been safe for YEARS!!!!

US issues travel alert for Jamaica


Saturday, May 22, 2010


THE US State Department yesterday issued a travel alert for United States citizens travelling to, and for those living and working in Jamaica, in the wake of tension in sections of the city over the pending arrest of Tivoli Gardens strongman Christopher 'Dudus' Coke.

In the meantime, the Canadian and British high commissions have updated 'travel advice' on their websites to warn citizens about the possibility of civil unrest in Kingston.

"Due to ongoing political developments, there is an increased risk of civil disorder and street violence in Kingston and possibly other urban areas in Jamaica. UK citizens are urged to take extra care when travelling away from their homes or hotels," the British High Commission posted on its website

There is frequent updates on the State Departments website

 

[MAH4546]

I think I would advise your sister to pick another destination a little closer to home. Jamaica hasn't been safe for YEARS!!!!

US issues travel alert for Jamaica


Saturday, May 22, 2010


THE US State Department yesterday issued a travel alert for United States citizens travelling to, and for those living and working in Jamaica, in the wake of tension in sections of the city over the pending arrest of Tivoli Gardens strongman Christopher 'Dudus' Coke.

In the meantime, the Canadian and British high commissions have updated 'travel advice' on their websites to warn citizens about the possibility of civil unrest in Kingston.

"Due to ongoing political developments, there is an increased risk of civil disorder and street violence in Kingston and possibly other urban areas in Jamaica. UK citizens are urged to take extra care when travelling away from their homes or hotels," the British High Commission posted on its website

There is frequent updates on the State Departments website

Kingston hasn't been safe for years (if ever). I highly doubt that the wedding will be anywhere near Kingston, which isn't a vacation resort.

 

[luvdzny]

We are planning DD's May 2011 wedding right now, it is a destination wedding in Montego Bay, Jamaica. Planning is so EASY! I am off to work, but will post more later.
By the way, they caught the guy (Coke) that was causing a lot of the problems in Kingston and things have calmed down.

 

[howlongtildisney]

I had a destination wedding. It can be as expensive or as reasonable as you'd like. During the planning of my wedding, I saw everything from week-long extravaganzas at a private villa in Cabo San Lucas to a simple beach ceremony with only a couple people in the Bahamas. For simplicity in planning for her, I'd definitely recommend looking into all-inclusive resorts that have packages. Many places will give you a free (or really included in the other prices) wedding if you have a certain number of guests. Definitely check out the Destination Weddings message board on TheKnot.com - those women were invaluable in the planning of my wedding 4 years ago.

Oh, and I agree with PP about Jamaica. The tourist areas are quite safe, it's Kingston that's a problem.

 

[Shmily1]

My friend got back a week and a half ago from Sandals in Montego Bay for her nephew's wedding. She said it was pretty but it rained. They liked it being all inclusive but said it wasn't all that. They want to do another all inclusive trip soon but said that won't be the place they go back to. She also said the original Sandals there was more run down looking and the one they stayed at (I think it was Royal something) was a little better although her DH thought the first one had better deisgn. It costed them quite a bit to go there though and I can't say if it was just any friend that I would go. They would have to be very special for that trip!!

 

[hinodis]

I am planning a desination wedding for my son. It will be on Mackinac Island. The resort where the wedding will take place provided a wedding coordinator. Hiring one is VERY expensive. The wedding packages we were offered had a very wide range for all budgets. One thing I do know is that it is proper ettiquette for all guests to be invited to all the "wedding" activities, such as the reheasal dinner and if there is a bruch the day after the wedding. It is also nice to make a goody bag for all your out of town guests to recieve at check-in. Plan on spending ALOT of money with your daughter in the wedding. Don't forget the expense of alterations on the dress, the bridal shower, any jewelery or accessories she may need. Its good you have to time to save and plan.

 

[dimimi]

From what I understand, destination weddings in Playa Del Carmen are reasonable. We stayed at the Sandos Playacar and the wedding costs were minimal. Remember, the people who are invited will need to pay for a vacation. That makes it difficult for people who don't have the money, or desire, to spend their money on a beach vacation.

The wedding were low key, but simple and lovely. I have heard (no first hand experience) that the actual cost of the wedding and reception is less expensive with a destination wedding than a wedding in the States. Of course this depends where you live. Of course, the wedding costs more for the guests, but less for the bride/groom.

 

[java]

Jamaica wouldn't be a place I would go for a wedding. And as a guest I would probably pass too. I've been to Jamaica- once in college and while I had a GREAT time then- not something I would be going for now.

In planning such a trip- while it seems like a great idea to the bride and groom- realize that your guest list will be way smaller- most people can't afford that kind of "extra" vacation. Is she prepared to pay for your relatives that can't afford to go? (thinking like grandma or someone she would really want there but night be able to afford it) Expecting everyone to get a passport is an additional expense. So if she wants a small wedding*(the 7 bridesmaids makes me think no) it may work.


But it's her wedding and she can get married wherever she wants to. My brother had a great destination wedding- but it was in Miami- a place that was easy to get to for everyone. You could do a quick weekend in Miami.
It was great fun. An affordable beautiful mini vacation for us.

Destination weddings can also have the added expense of the arrival Gift Tote- any destination wedding I've been to has given us a tote full of goodies- like sunscreen, a trashy novel for the beach, water bottles, gum, bubbles....

 

[Cheshire Figment]

Bridezilla!!

But if it must be a destination wedding, why not WDW?

 

[MrsPete]

I think a person who chooses a destination wedding has to accept that it's going to be a bit untraditional.

For example, she's going to have to accept that quite a few people won't be able to afford to attend their wedding (after all, attending a destination wedding could mean that the family would have to give up a vacation they'd planned so that they could afford the wedding trip). That'll include the attendants -- not everyone could afford to be in that wedding! Just attending would be expensive enough.

I think brides tend to forget this. The wedding is the center of THEIR WORLD (at least for the moment), and they lose focus of the fact that it isn't the center of everyone else's world. As such, I think seven attendants is unrealistic. The bride needs to be understanding about that.

If one of my daugthers wanted a destination wedding, I'd be fine with it -- I don't think it'd cost any more than a moderate-sized wedding here in town -- but I'd encourage her to have ONLY her sister as her maid of honor.

Your daughter will be ten by the time the wedding rolls around? I think she could be either a junior bridesmaid OR a flower girl. I wouldn't have her be a flower girl IF any girls of 3-4 are also flower girls, but if she's the only one I think it'd be fine. At that age, I'd have her be the type of flower girl who carries flowers rather than the type who drops petals.

Yes, if your daughter flies to Jamaica, she will need a passport.

A legal note: A friend of mine who was married on the beach in Mexico had to marry her husband AGAIN here in America to make it legal. I think they literally just went to the courthouse and got the license here in America -- no ceremony, no guests.

 

[okeydokey]

Will this be a financial burden on you? If so I would tell your sister that you will have trouble coming up with the money to go at all. 7 bridesmaids seems a bit over the top too.

 

[sbpebbles]

Bridezilla!!

But if it must be a destination wedding, why not WDW?

They practically LIVE disney--her future husband works there, they got engaged at Poly,they are at disney all the time, heck her ring is even in the shape of mickey...Personally I think they should go back to Poly, i'm sure there are locations around the resort that they could do a wedding at, that way guests can fly down to FL, stay anywhere near WDW and more ppl will be able to attend...they know for sure they do NOT want to do it at the disney wedding pavilions..Plus this way everyone can share in something they LOVE and those who don't wanna go to disney can do other things nearby..but you are exactly right i think she will be a bridezilla, she's already highstrung lol

 

[sbpebbles]

Will this be a financial burden on you? If so I would tell your sister that you will have trouble coming up with the money to go at all. 7 bridesmaids seems a bit over the top too.

yes it will be a HUGE financial burden on me since I have very limited income right now, i'm not working but have been looking very hard for a job all of which my sister DOES know...quiet frankly she don't seem to care since it's 2 yrs away..

 

[JoiseyMom]

yes it will be a HUGE financial burden on me since I have very limited income right now, i'm not working but have been looking very hard for a job all of which my sister DOES know...quiet frankly she don't seem to care since it's 2 yrs away..

Well since that is the case, you need to tell your sister that there is a good chance you and your family will not be able to attend the wedding, unless of course she is willing to pick up the tab. A destination wedding in an all inclusive resort is going to cost your thousands of dollars..plus the air fare and the dress for your DD. Kaching kaching. I would tell your sister right now, that the chances of you being able to afford to attend are very low because of your finances. Don't let her guilt you either... Good luck. I think you are going to need it!

 

[RumpleMom]

I have not attended a destination wedding.

I thought the groom and bride paid for the accommadations for the bridal party.

I thought they also paid for the relatives who could not afford to attend.

This is what my friend said her family did.

 

[luvdzny]

DD's wedding will be at Secrets in Montego Bay. The basic wedding package is included if you book at least 7 nights in a preferred room (just the bride & groom) or have 5 rooms for at least 3 nights. Otherwise the prices range from $799-2760. We are doing the $2760 package which includes a private cocktail hour and dinner and music (Jamaican Trio) for the reception. The resort is all inclusive, as many of them in Jamaica are, it is also adults only. Make sure your sister checks if her chosen resort allows children. Jamaica is the easiest of the "tropical" destinations that we checked to have a legal marriage that is recognized in the US. Many of the resorts have a wedding planner included with the wedding package.
DD is only having 2 bridesmaids. She explained to them that is was going to be in Jamaica before she ask them and let them know that she would not be offended if they were not able to attend. They had no problem with the cost, we are actually surprised at the amount of people that will be attending. We expected it to be very small.
I would suggest that she work with a travel agent. I LOVE planning vacations by myself and never use an agency but for the wedding it is much easier, plus when working with a travel agent you get some extra perks at the resort. I am not sure what part of WI your sister is in, we are north of Milwaukee and are working with a wonderful travel agent. The main office is in Appleton but they have other branches. I can pm your her name if you are interested.
Secrets is one of the more expensive resorts in Montego Bay, but I have a price for 3 nights & 7 nights, but I don't have it with me right now.
This site has helped us a lot with the planning.

http://BestDestinationWedding.com Community Forum

If you need any more info, let me know!

 

[JoiseyMom]

I have not attended a destination wedding.

I thought the groom and bride paid for the accommadations for the bridal party.

I thought they also paid for the relatives who could not afford to attend.

This is what my friend said her family did.

This happened because the above family could afford to do that. The majority can't, and the people attending are expected to pay their own way.