destination wedding questions, sorry a lil long

[Bren's Mom]

OP, given your current financial situation I would tell your sister you're honored she'd like your dd to be in the wedding but that you have to defer the decision for now. Once she gets a definite location and costs, and you price out airfare, etc...then you can see what your financial picture is right then. I'd want to be at my sister's wedding if at all possible...and what is possible might end up being that only you can go if at all.

 

[NotUrsula]

Seven attendants at a destination wedding in the Caribbean? She's dreaming unless she ponies up to get them there. Island flights tend to be very expensive unless you're on a package charter.

Ironically, it often costs guests just as much to attend an offshore destination wedding as it does for the couple to host one. The wedding couple often get their own accomodations thrown in gratis as part of the wedding package, on the theory that they will guarantee several more rooms for family and members of the wedding party.

Another affordable destination option that not many people think of is New Orleans. Orleans Parish changed their marriage license requirements a few years ago, and there is no waiting period in the city proper. It's a lot more affordable for most people than an island would be -- for one thing, you can drive there if you need to. I know at least 2 couples who wanted to do an island and ended up switching to New Orleans because their families could not swing the expense and/or the time it would take to get to an island destination.

OP, for your family to attend a Jamaican wedding as guests, I'd budget at least $3K when all is said and done, because you'll need airport transfers at both ends, airfare for everyone, a passport for your child, clothes, and your hotel costs, including gratuities. Chicago flights are likely to be cheaper, but you'll have to figure in parking unless you can take a train into Chicago.

 

[cseca]

WDW wedding doesn't have to be at the pavillion. We are not pavillion people either, we got married at Sea Breeze Point (Boardwalk) and had a wonderful time. Small wedding tho and everybody afterwards spend several days at WDW to hang out and have fun.

I've seen pictures of people getting married on the beach by Grand Floridian or Beach Club.

Just a thought. And good luck with the planning!

 

[sbpebbles]

WDW wedding doesn't have to be at the pavillion. We are not pavillion people either, we got married at Sea Breeze Point (Boardwalk) and had a wonderful time. Small wedding tho and everybody afterwards spend several days at WDW to hang out and have fun.

I've seen pictures of people getting married on the beach by Grand Floridian or Beach Club.

Just a thought. And good luck with the planning!

This is what i'm hoping we can talk her into doing...much easier on everyone but we will see, she is still in the planning process

DD's wedding will be at Secrets in Montego Bay. The basic wedding package is included if you book at least 7 nights in a preferred room (just the bride & groom) or have 5 rooms for at least 3 nights. Otherwise the prices range from $799-2760. We are doing the $2760 package which includes a private cocktail hour and dinner and music (Jamaican Trio) for the reception. The resort is all inclusive, as many of them in Jamaica are, it is also adults only. Make sure your sister checks if her chosen resort allows children. Jamaica is the easiest of the "tropical" destinations that we checked to have a legal marriage that is recognized in the US. Many of the resorts have a wedding planner included with the wedding package.
DD is only having 2 bridesmaids. She explained to them that is was going to be in Jamaica before she ask them and let them know that she would not be offended if they were not able to attend. They had no problem with the cost, we are actually surprised at the amount of people that will be attending. We expected it to be very small.
I would suggest that she work with a travel agent. I LOVE planning vacations by myself and never use an agency but for the wedding it is much easier, plus when working with a travel agent you get some extra perks at the resort. I am not sure what part of WI your sister is in, we are north of Milwaukee and are working with a wonderful travel agent. The main office is in Appleton but they have other branches. I can pm your her name if you are interested.
Secrets is one of the more expensive resorts in Montego Bay, but I have a price for 3 nights & 7 nights, but I don't have it with me right now.
This site has helped us a lot with the planning.

http://BestDestinationWedding.com Community Forum

If you need any more info, let me know!

My sister is not in WI, myself, my children and our parents are but she lives down in FL right by WDW...we'd need a resort that allows children since my step sister and I both have kids and we can't leave them home nor would my sister even think of asking us to do that..thanks, i'm gonna pass along this info and if i need info i will def contact you, we are also north of Milwaukee so if you don't mind me asking what TA are you using? you can PM me if it's easier..again many thanks!

Well since that is the case, you need to tell your sister that there is a good chance you and your family will not be able to attend the wedding, unless of course she is willing to pick up the tab. A destination wedding in an all inclusive resort is going to cost your thousands of dollars..plus the air fare and the dress for your DD. Kaching kaching. I would tell your sister right now, that the chances of you being able to afford to attend are very low because of your finances. Don't let her guilt you either... Good luck. I think you are going to need it!

My family and I WILL be attending no matter what, even if i have to borrow money temp...my sister is the kind of person who will only get married once and i know it would hurt her for us not to be there..she might be picking up some of the expenses, that has yet to be worked out...

 

[sbpebbles]

Good News-she is thinking about a beach wedding now...she just got engaged a lil over a week ago so she has been tossing around ideas..she did not realize that everyone would need passports if they chose Jamaica and hardly anyone has one so...I'm hoping my kids and my part will cost under $1500..turns out they have friends with timeshares who have offered to let our family(my mother, step father, step sister and her family, myself and my kids, and my step brother and his fiance ) use them during the wedding if they get married near there so that takes away the added cost of hotel rentals for everyone..My other sister has 3 girls and I have 2 kids so we for sure need a location that is kid friendly..i know HIS family has a lot of money so I'm sure they will help out with the costs..

 

[cseca]

Good News-she is thinking about a beach wedding now...she just got engaged a lil over a week ago so she has been tossing around ideas..she did not realize that everyone would need passports if they chose Jamaica and hardly anyone has one so...I'm hoping my kids and my part will cost under $1500..turns out they have friends with timeshares who have offered to let our family(my mother, step father, step sister and her family, myself and my kids, and my step brother and his fiance ) use them during the wedding if they get married near there so that takes away the added cost of hotel rentals for everyone..My other sister has 3 girls and I have 2 kids so we for sure need a location that is kid friendly..i know HIS family has a lot of money so I'm sure they will help out with the costs..

Oh and IF she goes with DFTW (Disney Fairy Tale Wedding), she'll get a planner automatically. The downside is the vendors choices are limited based on what disney will/won't allow.
But you'll get a planner .
I planned our wedding alone (with DH's input now and then) within 6 months. Their planners are great... without her help I wouldn't have survived that 6mo...

 

[sbpebbles]

Oh and IF she goes with DFTW (Disney Fairy Tale Wedding), she'll get a planner automatically. The downside is the vendors choices are limited based on what disney will/won't allow.
But you'll get a planner .
I planned our wedding alone (with DH's input now and then) within 6 months. Their planners are great... without her help I wouldn't have survived that 6mo...

is the DFTW at the pavilions? if you don't mind me asking how many ppl did u have stand up in your wedding and rough idea of what it cost ya?

 

[cseca]

is the DFTW at the pavilions? if you don't mind me asking how many ppl did u have stand up in your wedding and rough idea of what it cost ya?

DFTW is just the generic name for disney's wedding company. You can get married at several locations at Disney and they'll give you the list when you contact them.
It's been a couple years so their prices might have changed. You could do a tiny wedding for $2k I think or go lavish (David Tuttera) for WAY more than a house would cost nowadays...

We had a small wedding only 26 people in total (with guests). And we did get Cindy's coach, dinner in EPCOT, and fireworks dessert party in Italy, pictures at Magic Kingdom, so it wasn't a budget wedding by any means. I think I paid TO disney less than $20k (I want to say $18k but I can't remember for sure). Of course when you add the dress, hotel, etc. etc. the price goes way higher... hehe...

I don't know if your sister was aiming for budget or not, but Disney could accommodate a wedding from just 2 people to hundreds of people.

Here's the official website
http://disneyweddings.disney.go.com/

and here's a blog someone from DIS started on disney wedding stuff
http://www.disneyweddingblog.com/

 

[sbpebbles]

DFTW is just the generic name for disney's wedding company. You can get married at several locations at Disney and they'll give you the list when you contact them.
It's been a couple years so their prices might have changed. You could do a tiny wedding for $2k I think or go lavish (David Tuttera) for WAY more than a house would cost nowadays...

We had a small wedding only 26 people in total (with guests). And we did get Cindy's coach, dinner in EPCOT, and fireworks dessert party in Italy, pictures at Magic Kingdom, so it wasn't a budget wedding by any means. I think I paid TO disney less than $20k (I want to say $18k but I can't remember for sure). Of course when you add the dress, hotel, etc. etc. the price goes way higher... hehe...

I don't know if your sister was aiming for budget or not, but Disney could accommodate a wedding from just 2 people to hundreds of people.

Here's the official website
http://disneyweddings.disney.go.com/

and here's a blog someone from DIS started on disney wedding stuff
http://www.disneyweddingblog.com/

Well let's put it this way--my sister thinks the wedding should cost anywhere from 10k-18k because she believes that's the average amount..personally I know i could do it for less but that's just me lol..thanks i'm gonna look at those sites later tonight when I have more time

 

[bumbershoot]

A legal note: A friend of mine who was married on the beach in Mexico had to marry her husband AGAIN here in America to make it legal. I think they literally just went to the courthouse and got the license here in America -- no ceremony, no guests.

Sounds like they just didn't want to go through the rigamarole to make a Mexican wedding legal. For instance, they require blood work and chest xrays to get the license. And you have to have your paperwork made legal once you're back in the states anyway.

Sounds easiest to have the romantic stuff there, and then actually get married when back at home, with Mexico!

But Jamaica, as I mentioned in my reply last night, is easy for Americans.

I have not attended a destination wedding.

I thought the groom and bride paid for the accommadations for the bridal party.

I thought they also paid for the relatives who could not afford to attend.

This is what my friend said her family did.

A millionaire might do this. But a normal person wouldn't, and it's simply not required at all. It's NICE, but it's not needed or even part of etiquette rules at all.

Good News-she is thinking about a beach wedding now...she just got engaged a lil over a week ago so she has been tossing around ideas..she did not realize that everyone would need passports if they chose Jamaica and hardly anyone has one so...I'm hoping my kids and my part will cost under $1500..turns out they have friends with timeshares who have offered to let our family(my mother, step father, step sister and her family, myself and my kids, and my step brother and his fiance ) use them during the wedding if they get married near there so that takes away the added cost of hotel rentals for everyone..My other sister has 3 girls and I have 2 kids so we for sure need a location that is kid friendly..i know HIS family has a lot of money so I'm sure they will help out with the costs..

Nice!

Yes, make sure, as I mentioned in my reply last night, that the resort allows kids.

DH and I would have loved to do a renewal at one of the resorts off in a beach island somewhere, but the ones we love the looks of don't allow kids, and that just won't work with DS!

Well let's put it this way--my sister thinks the wedding should cost anywhere from 10k-18k because she believes that's the average amount..personally I know i could do it for less but that's just me lol..thanks i'm gonna look at those sites later tonight when I have more time

10K is actually on the lower side of a wedding. And that's in WA/OR, not FL at a resort, etc etc. I hit around 10K total, and the food we offered was NOT expensive, the site was NOT expensive, we had the groomsmen take the folding chairs from the ceremony garden into the tent so we didn't have to rent twice as many chairs as was needed, etc. We didn't even have a liner for the inside of the tent (a decision I regretted once I saw the photos...would ahve been a lot more "put together" in appearance if we'd shelled out for the liner). And again, there were only 90 guests there.

She's low-balling it BIG time, in my opinion. For the type of wedding it SEEMS she wants, that is. Of course it's possible to do it cheaper. One of my fave books hwile planning was a book on how to do a wedding for $5000!

 

[lucigo]

I personally don't care for Jamaica at all. She might consider a cruise ship wedding, it would be kid friendly and you could get your beaches in there too, and a lot less expensive.

 

[karice2]

I think I would advise your sister to pick another destination a little closer to home. Jamaica hasn't been safe for YEARS!!!!

US issues travel alert for Jamaica


Saturday, May 22, 2010


THE US State Department yesterday issued a travel alert for United States citizens travelling to, and for those living and working in Jamaica, in the wake of tension in sections of the city over the pending arrest of Tivoli Gardens strongman Christopher 'Dudus' Coke.

In the meantime, the Canadian and British high commissions have updated 'travel advice' on their websites to warn citizens about the possibility of civil unrest in Kingston.

"Due to ongoing political developments, there is an increased risk of civil disorder and street violence in Kingston and possibly other urban areas in Jamaica. UK citizens are urged to take extra care when travelling away from their homes or hotels," the British High Commission posted on its website

There is frequent updates on the State Departments website

Just want to throw my 2 in. The part of Jamaica that is unsafe is Kingston. Most of the resorts are on the other side of the island.

No one really travels to Kingston unless you know someone over there.

Most people stay in Montego Bay or Negril.

 

[LuLuO]

Seven attendants at a destination wedding in the Caribbean? She's dreaming unless she ponies up to get them there. Island flights tend to be very expensive unless you're on a package charter.

I agree with this. It's pretty presumptuous of her to think that people will even want to save for two years to attend her wedding.

OP Good luck! I hope you can make it come together without breaking the bank. Maybe worst case scenerio is that you go alone and the the kids and hubby stay home.

 

[MrsPete]

My family and I WILL be attending no matter what, even if i have to borrow money temp...my sister is the kind of person who will only get married once and i know it would hurt her for us not to be there..she might be picking up some of the expenses, that has yet to be worked out...

I'd urge you to re-think the idea of going into debt to attend a wedding -- even the wedding of a family member. You're being very considerate of her feelings, in spite of the fact that she's expecting you to save for two years -- save money you don't have right now -- so that she can have her wedding on a Jamiacan beach. This isn't in the same category as having it in a church at home.

Good News-she is thinking about a beach wedding now...she just got engaged a lil over a week ago so she has been tossing around ideas..she did not realize that everyone would need passports if they chose Jamaica and hardly anyone has one so...I'm hoping my kids and my part will cost under $1500..turns out they have friends with timeshares who have offered to let our family(my mother, step father, step sister and her family, myself and my kids, and my step brother and his fiance ) use them during the wedding if they get married near there so that takes away the added cost of hotel rentals for everyone..My other sister has 3 girls and I have 2 kids so we for sure need a location that is kid friendly..i know HIS family has a lot of money so I'm sure they will help out with the costs..

Sounds like this is all still very new and she spit out ideas before she was well informed -- that's just being naive and full of dreams. I wouldn't be too sure about the timeshares (or his family with lots of money) 'til it's a sure thing.

Well let's put it this way--my sister thinks the wedding should cost anywhere from 10k-18k because she believes that's the average amount..personally I know i could do it for less but that's just me lol..thanks i'm gonna look at those sites later tonight when I have more time

Yeah, this COULD be done rather inexpensively: 1-2 attendants in nice sundresses on the beach, white rented chairs/minimal flowers and decorations, and a meal at a restaurant for everyone (cheaper than bringing out tables, decorations, etc.). That'd be in the category of a very inexpensive wedding at home -- but, of course, you'd have the transportation and hotel expenses.

 

[sbpebbles]

I agree with this. It's pretty presumptuous of her to think that people will even want to save for two years to attend her wedding.

OP Good luck! I hope you can make it come together without breaking the bank. Maybe worst case scenerio is that you go alone and the the kids and hubby stay home.

I can't go alone and leave the kids at home since I have no hubby...I do have two full years to save so I'm sure we will have the money by then

 

[rigs32]

I think it's funny that she's hung up about the passports. $100+ vs. $1000s to travel overseas and stay at a resort.

 

[honeydiane1953]

Two years. I am betting she will change her mind or perhaps her future husband. No joke things change and being a woman our minds do too. Quit worrying things will change.

 

[LuLuO]

I can't go alone and leave the kids at home since I have no hubby...I do have two full years to save so I'm sure we will have the money by then

Guess that was presumptuous of me to assume you had a hubby. I apologize.

I just don't understand destination weddings and expecting guests and the wedding party to fork out major bucks to attend. In a lot of cases, I think it can end up being more of a burden than a celebration which is unfortunate. I hope though that everything works out and that you can go without going into debt. Good luck!

 

[SaraJayne]

One of my cousins had a destination wedding in Negril. We did not attend, as I wasn't willing to give up our already-planned family vacation for a wedding in a country I had no interest in visiting, as well as the fact that my kids weren't allowed (by the resort).

So, she had her wedding where she wanted it, while realizing that most of her family would not be there. The only people that attended were her parents, her sister and my sister and BIL.

Since her engagement is very new, hopefully once she stops dreaming (), she'll realize that a beach or Disney wedding is much more practical.

 

[devonsmommy]

I got married in Jamaica in 2003.
We stayed at Beaches Sandy Bay, and ONLY invited our immediate family. We didn't want anyone to think they *had* to spend the money to come. We then celebrated back home over Labor Day weekend so we could spend several days with everyone.

There ended up being 13 of us all together. Beaches Sandy Bay is in Negril. We had a flower girl and some singles. Then after we were married we moved just down the beach to Sandals Negril.

I can't remember costs at all! I think we had a wedding coordinator whom we met with to choose flowers, cake flavors, and small reception with some appetizers, etc. under a tent. Then they arranged a dinner for us at the nice restaurant. We also had their photographer and the pics turned out GREAT!