desperate help needed-suggestions appreciated

[tohardtolose]

Hi everyone.

I know you all will judge when you read this and we deserve it. Not sure how we have amassed this debt but once in it, we are finding it impossible to get out. It is so bad now we are considering bankruptcy or consumer proposal and I need suggestions on these. I do post on these boards but have changed my name as I am embarrased and do not want anyone to know who we are. We have not been to Disney or on any trip in over 2 years. There are none planned. I can't imagine we will ever be able to go on a trip again.

My husband and I both work full time (Well I work 30 hours but can not work anymore due to children). We are in Canada. Please remember Canada tax rates are hugely different than US but one benefit is that we do have health care. I have recently been diagnosed with a life long disease that will impact me in many ways but I can still work. Husband is in very secure job that is well paying.

Combined we do make 115,000. However after taxes (get ready to gasp), pension, union fees, etc we take home on a monthly basis 5400-5600.

We do own a home but have a large mortgage.

How did we get into this stupid situation? Honestly, I hate to say it, we just kept using credit to pay for everything that came up. We were stupid. But once we realized how stupid we were being, we couldn't catch back up. It is very easy to say you can when the money comes easy. Once the interest rates click in though, forget it. We did not purchase trips, designer clothes, etc. We basically were using this for emergency items that came up. If you came through our home you would see we have nothing special. No big purchases over last 2 years.......husband and I have not bought gifts for each other in over 5 years. No furniture purchases in last 5 years besides for tv. Odd towles, sheets, and small appliances have been bought due to need. Those would go on credit as we do not have extra.............If you walked through my closet you would see there are no new clothes and clothes I do have are not name brand. In fact, I have three tshirts and it is now summer and trying to figure out how to get a few more...........not to mention shorts.

We do not drink or smoke.

We spend money on the kids. Unfortunately there is where any extra goes and it is a case of our kids were gifted athletically and we can't seem to take them out of the sports. They do extremely well in the sports they are in. Highest levels. They are good kids. They do not get extra toys, videogames, name brand clothing, etc. What they get is payments on their sports every month.

Here is run down of our expenses (and you can gasp that we pay even further taxes on all things we purchase, and also big land taxes. This is how we get free health care

Monthly
Mortgage: 1600
Land taxes: 380
Heat: 155
Hydro: 200
Landline: 65.00
Cable: 55.00
Internet (need this for work): 60.00
Bank fee: 15.00
Car and house insurance: 315
Cells: 75
Car payment (done next March so 10 months to go): 510
Total: 3430

Variable (some months these go up and down)
Groceries (pet food, personal hygenie, haircuts, etc included): 800
Car gas (gas is more expensive in Canada): 600

1400+3430=4830

Kids sports: 520

Total: 5350

Okay so we should even out there.......except there is nothing for emergencies........when we need an oil change, or new tires or the furnace breaks down......and when we need to buy Christmas presents, kids school functions, home maintenance, or we have to pay for vet bill, liscense fees, or we need running shoes, or clothes (kids do grow and things do wear out) or we decide to visit family every few months and have to spend an extra 75.00 in gas. We never eat out. Well maybe 3 times a year.
So every month these things come up and what did we do. We put them on credit. Plus we had a business that went broke and 20,000 of the debt is from that...............

Total of all debt: almost 80, 000.

So on a monthly basis how do we pay the 2500 or more that we need to pay monthly minimums...........we don't have it. So we pay one to take from the other and it is an awful cycle.

How do we get out of this mess. Even if we tell kids they get no sports anymore, then what? We still can not make ends meet. That is the only thing we can possibly cut. Gas can not be reduced as we have to drive everywhere. Groceries maybe can cut a tiny bit here and there but nothing significant. Can't cut internet as I work from home a lot. Could cut cable I guess for 50.00 a month. Otherwise there is nothing else to cut. Nothing.

How do we manage? So do we go bankrupt? We hate to do that as they would take the little bit of retirement savings we do have and risk of losing our home, not to mention never having credit again.

So what can you tell me about consumer proposals? Do they work?

Just fyi, we are not behind on anything. We manage to get all monthly payments paid but unfortunately then we just have to use that again so debt is not going down.

We can not borrow from anyone. Nor would I feel right asking. We got into this mess now we have to figure how to get out. This is causing stress in our marriage and we are much more irriitable with kids. No fun wondering how to buy groceries or get gas into the car.

Help, suggestions, anything. Like I said, please do not judge, I know we made mistakes. I can't fix that now. Would we go back and change those mistakes. Without a doubt but we can not now. Do we want to fix what we can? yes. Do we want to sleep peacefully again. yes.


thank you.

 

[akcire]

Hi everyone.

I know you all will judge when you read this and we deserve it. Not sure how we have amassed this debt but once in it, we are finding it impossible to get out. It is so bad now we are considering bankruptcy or consumer proposal and I need suggestions on these. I do post on these boards but have changed my name as I am embarrased and do not want anyone to know who we are. We have not been to Disney or on any trip in over 2 years. There are none planned. I can't imagine we will ever be able to go on a trip again.

My husband and I both work full time (Well I work 30 hours but can not work anymore due to children). We are in Canada. Please remember Canada tax rates are hugely different than US but one benefit is that we do have health care. I have recently been diagnosed with a life long disease that will impact me in many ways but I can still work. Husband is in very secure job that is well paying.

Combined we do make 115,000. However after taxes (get ready to gasp), pension, union fees, etc we take home on a monthly basis 5400-5600.

We do own a home but have a large mortgage.

How did we get into this stupid situation? Honestly, I hate to say it, we just kept using credit to pay for everything that came up. We were stupid. But once we realized how stupid we were being, we couldn't catch back up. It is very easy to say you can when the money comes easy. Once the interest rates click in though, forget it. We did not purchase trips, designer clothes, etc. We basically were using this for emergency items that came up. If you came through our home you would see we have nothing special. No big purchases over last 2 years.......husband and I have not bought gifts for each other in over 5 years. No furniture purchases in last 5 years besides for tv. Odd towles, sheets, and small appliances have been bought due to need. Those would go on credit as we do not have extra.............If you walked through my closet you would see there are no new clothes and clothes I do have are not name brand. In fact, I have three tshirts and it is now summer and trying to figure out how to get a few more...........not to mention shorts.

We do not drink or smoke.

We spend money on the kids. Unfortunately there is where any extra goes and it is a case of our kids were gifted athletically and we can't seem to take them out of the sports. They do extremely well in the sports they are in. Highest levels. They are good kids. They do not get extra toys, videogames, name brand clothing, etc. What they get is payments on their sports every month.

Here is run down of our expenses (and you can gasp that we pay even further taxes on all things we purchase, and also big land taxes. This is how we get free health care

Monthly
Mortgage: 1600
Land taxes: 380
Heat: 155
Hydro: 200
Landline: 65.00
Cable: 55.00
Internet (need this for work): 60.00
Bank fee: 15.00
Car and house insurance: 315
Cells: 75
Car payment (done next March so 10 months to go): 510
Total: 3430

Variable (some months these go up and down)
Groceries (pet food, personal hygenie, haircuts, etc included): 800
Car gas (gas is more expensive in Canada): 600

1400+3430=4830

Kids sports: 520

Total: 5350

Okay so we should even out there.......except there is nothing for emergencies........when we need an oil change, or new tires or the furnace breaks down......and when we need to buy Christmas presents, kids school functions, home maintenance, or we have to pay for vet bill, liscense fees, or we need running shoes, or clothes (kids do grow and things do wear out) or we decide to visit family every few months and have to spend an extra 75.00 in gas. We never eat out. Well maybe 3 times a year.
So every month these things come up and what did we do. We put them on credit. Plus we had a business that went broke and 20,000 of the debt is from that...............

Total of all debt: almost 80, 000.

So on a monthly basis how do we pay the 2500 or more that we need to pay monthly minimums...........we don't have it. So we pay one to take from the other and it is an awful cycle.

How do we get out of this mess. Even if we tell kids they get no sports anymore, then what? We still can not make ends meet. That is the only thing we can possibly cut. Gas can not be reduced as we have to drive everywhere. Groceries maybe can cut a tiny bit here and there but nothing significant. Can't cut internet as I work from home a lot. Could cut cable I guess for 50.00 a month. Otherwise there is nothing else to cut. Nothing.

How do we manage? So do we go bankrupt? We hate to do that as they would take the little bit of retirement savings we do have and risk of losing our home, not to mention never having credit again.

So what can you tell me about consumer proposals? Do they work?

Just fyi, we are not behind on anything. We manage to get all monthly payments paid but unfortunately then we just have to use that again so debt is not going down.

We can not borrow from anyone. Nor would I feel right asking. We got into this mess now we have to figure how to get out. This is causing stress in our marriage and we are much more irriitable with kids. No fun wondering how to buy groceries or get gas into the car.

Help, suggestions, anything. Like I said, please do not judge, I know we made mistakes. I can't fix that now. Would we go back and change those mistakes. Without a doubt but we can not now. Do we want to fix what we can? yes. Do we want to sleep peacefully again. yes.

thank you.

I see areas you could cut, but they are lifestyle items. If you can't reduce your budget you need to grow your top number.

Personally having a car payment and sports fees equal to 10% each of your monthly income is excessive.

Have you looked at selling the house? Spending a couple years living in a small cheap rental may help get all your numbers back in line.

Only you can decide what you need to do.

 

[Marionnette]

Hi everyone.

I know you all will judge when you read this and we deserve it. Not sure how we have amassed this debt but once in it, we are finding it impossible to get out. It is so bad now we are considering bankruptcy or consumer proposal and I need suggestions on these. I do post on these boards but have changed my name as I am embarrased and do not want anyone to know who we are. We have not been to Disney or on any trip in over 2 years. There are none planned. I can't imagine we will ever be able to go on a trip again.

My husband and I both work full time (Well I work 30 hours but can not work anymore due to children). We are in Canada. Please remember Canada tax rates are hugely different than US but one benefit is that we do have health care. I have recently been diagnosed with a life long disease that will impact me in many ways but I can still work. Husband is in very secure job that is well paying.

Combined we do make 115,000. However after taxes (get ready to gasp), pension, union fees, etc we take home on a monthly basis 5400-5600.

We do own a home but have a large mortgage.

How did we get into this stupid situation? Honestly, I hate to say it, we just kept using credit to pay for everything that came up. We were stupid. But once we realized how stupid we were being, we couldn't catch back up. It is very easy to say you can when the money comes easy. Once the interest rates click in though, forget it. We did not purchase trips, designer clothes, etc. We basically were using this for emergency items that came up. If you came through our home you would see we have nothing special. No big purchases over last 2 years.......husband and I have not bought gifts for each other in over 5 years. No furniture purchases in last 5 years besides for tv. Odd towles, sheets, and small appliances have been bought due to need. Those would go on credit as we do not have extra.............If you walked through my closet you would see there are no new clothes and clothes I do have are not name brand. In fact, I have three tshirts and it is now summer and trying to figure out how to get a few more...........not to mention shorts.

We do not drink or smoke.

We spend money on the kids. Unfortunately there is where any extra goes and it is a case of our kids were gifted athletically and we can't seem to take them out of the sports. They do extremely well in the sports they are in. Highest levels. They are good kids. They do not get extra toys, videogames, name brand clothing, etc. What they get is payments on their sports every month.

Here is run down of our expenses (and you can gasp that we pay even further taxes on all things we purchase, and also big land taxes. This is how we get free health care

Monthly
Mortgage: 1600
Land taxes: 380
Heat: 155
Hydro: 200
Landline: 65.00
Cable: 55.00
Internet (need this for work): 60.00
Bank fee: 15.00
Car and house insurance: 315
Cells: 75
Car payment (done next March so 10 months to go): 510
Total: 3430

Variable (some months these go up and down)
Groceries (pet food, personal hygenie, haircuts, etc included): 800
Car gas (gas is more expensive in Canada): 600

1400+3430=4830

Kids sports: 520

Total: 5350

Okay so we should even out there.......except there is nothing for emergencies........when we need an oil change, or new tires or the furnace breaks down......and when we need to buy Christmas presents, kids school functions, home maintenance, or we have to pay for vet bill, liscense fees, or we need running shoes, or clothes (kids do grow and things do wear out) or we decide to visit family every few months and have to spend an extra 75.00 in gas. We never eat out. Well maybe 3 times a year.
So every month these things come up and what did we do. We put them on credit. Plus we had a business that went broke and 20,000 of the debt is from that...............

Total of all debt: almost 80, 000.

So on a monthly basis how do we pay the 2500 or more that we need to pay monthly minimums...........we don't have it. So we pay one to take from the other and it is an awful cycle.

How do we get out of this mess. Even if we tell kids they get no sports anymore, then what? We still can not make ends meet. That is the only thing we can possibly cut. Gas can not be reduced as we have to drive everywhere. Groceries maybe can cut a tiny bit here and there but nothing significant. Can't cut internet as I work from home a lot. Could cut cable I guess for 50.00 a month. Otherwise there is nothing else to cut. Nothing.

How do we manage? So do we go bankrupt? We hate to do that as they would take the little bit of retirement savings we do have and risk of losing our home, not to mention never having credit again.

So what can you tell me about consumer proposals? Do they work?

Just fyi, we are not behind on anything. We manage to get all monthly payments paid but unfortunately then we just have to use that again so debt is not going down.

We can not borrow from anyone. Nor would I feel right asking. We got into this mess now we have to figure how to get out. This is causing stress in our marriage and we are much more irriitable with kids. No fun wondering how to buy groceries or get gas into the car.

Help, suggestions, anything. Like I said, please do not judge, I know we made mistakes. I can't fix that now. Would we go back and change those mistakes. Without a doubt but we can not now. Do we want to fix what we can? yes. Do we want to sleep peacefully again. yes.


thank you.

How does anyone else with your income level survive? The answer is simple. They don't spend more than they take in. If you don't even have the extra room in your budget to pay for small emergencies like new tires or a broken washer, you're living above your means.

So, you begin by cutting all of the extras.
Dump the landline. You have cell phones. You don't need a landline, too.

Take the kids out of their sports activities...$520/month on kids' activities is insane when you cannot afford to buy clothing for yourself!

Sell the house and rent until you can afford all of the costs of home ownership.

Do you have more than one car? Sell one and use the money to pay off some of your debt. Take the extra that you would have spent on insurance and throw it at the debt as well.

Cut up the credit cards and freeze the accounts so that you cannot add to your debt. Close them completely once they are paid off.

I'm sorry that you're in this situation. You already know that it took a while to amass that kind of debt. It's going to take quite a while to make it go away. You would probably get sound advice on Canadian bankruptcy and debt elimination rules if you were to check a Canadian message board instead of a Disney one. Perhaps there are some Canadian members who can direct you as to where you should look.

 

[MEM]

Hi everyone.

I know you all will judge when you read this and we deserve it. Not sure how we have amassed this debt but once in it, we are finding it impossible to get out. It is so bad now we are considering bankruptcy or consumer proposal and I need suggestions on these. I do post on these boards but have changed my name as I am embarrased and do not want anyone to know who we are. We have not been to Disney or on any trip in over 2 years. There are none planned. I can't imagine we will ever be able to go on a trip again.

My husband and I both work full time (Well I work 30 hours but can not work anymore due to children). We are in Canada. Please remember Canada tax rates are hugely different than US but one benefit is that we do have health care. I have recently been diagnosed with a life long disease that will impact me in many ways but I can still work. Husband is in very secure job that is well paying.

Combined we do make 115,000. However after taxes (get ready to gasp), pension, union fees, etc we take home on a monthly basis 5400-5600.

We do own a home but have a large mortgage.

How did we get into this stupid situation? Honestly, I hate to say it, we just kept using credit to pay for everything that came up. We were stupid. But once we realized how stupid we were being, we couldn't catch back up. It is very easy to say you can when the money comes easy. Once the interest rates click in though, forget it. We did not purchase trips, designer clothes, etc. We basically were using this for emergency items that came up. If you came through our home you would see we have nothing special. No big purchases over last 2 years.......husband and I have not bought gifts for each other in over 5 years. No furniture purchases in last 5 years besides for tv. Odd towles, sheets, and small appliances have been bought due to need. Those would go on credit as we do not have extra.............If you walked through my closet you would see there are no new clothes and clothes I do have are not name brand. In fact, I have three tshirts and it is now summer and trying to figure out how to get a few more...........not to mention shorts.

We do not drink or smoke.

We spend money on the kids. Unfortunately there is where any extra goes and it is a case of our kids were gifted athletically and we can't seem to take them out of the sports. They do extremely well in the sports they are in. Highest levels. They are good kids. They do not get extra toys, videogames, name brand clothing, etc. What they get is payments on their sports every month.

Here is run down of our expenses (and you can gasp that we pay even further taxes on all things we purchase, and also big land taxes. This is how we get free health care

Monthly
Mortgage: 1600
Land taxes: 380
Heat: 155
Hydro: 200
Landline: 65.00
Cable: 55.00
Internet (need this for work): 60.00
Bank fee: 15.00
Car and house insurance: 315
Cells: 75
Car payment (done next March so 10 months to go): 510
Total: 3430

Variable (some months these go up and down)
Groceries (pet food, personal hygenie, haircuts, etc included): 800
Car gas (gas is more expensive in Canada): 600

1400+3430=4830

Kids sports: 520

Total: 5350

Okay so we should even out there.......except there is nothing for emergencies........when we need an oil change, or new tires or the furnace breaks down......and when we need to buy Christmas presents, kids school functions, home maintenance, or we have to pay for vet bill, liscense fees, or we need running shoes, or clothes (kids do grow and things do wear out) or we decide to visit family every few months and have to spend an extra 75.00 in gas. We never eat out. Well maybe 3 times a year.
So every month these things come up and what did we do. We put them on credit. Plus we had a business that went broke and 20,000 of the debt is from that...............

Total of all debt: almost 80, 000.

So on a monthly basis how do we pay the 2500 or more that we need to pay monthly minimums...........we don't have it. So we pay one to take from the other and it is an awful cycle.

How do we get out of this mess. Even if we tell kids they get no sports anymore, then what? We still can not make ends meet. That is the only thing we can possibly cut. Gas can not be reduced as we have to drive everywhere. Groceries maybe can cut a tiny bit here and there but nothing significant. Can't cut internet as I work from home a lot. Could cut cable I guess for 50.00 a month. Otherwise there is nothing else to cut. Nothing.

How do we manage? So do we go bankrupt? We hate to do that as they would take the little bit of retirement savings we do have and risk of losing our home, not to mention never having credit again.

So what can you tell me about consumer proposals? Do they work?

Just fyi, we are not behind on anything. We manage to get all monthly payments paid but unfortunately then we just have to use that again so debt is not going down.

We can not borrow from anyone. Nor would I feel right asking. We got into this mess now we have to figure how to get out. This is causing stress in our marriage and we are much more irriitable with kids. No fun wondering how to buy groceries or get gas into the car.

Help, suggestions, anything. Like I said, please do not judge, I know we made mistakes. I can't fix that now. Would we go back and change those mistakes. Without a doubt but we can not now. Do we want to fix what we can? yes. Do we want to sleep peacefully again. yes.


thank you.

If you are not familiar with Dave Ramsey, you should borrow his books from the library and see if his approach will work for your family. I think you can whittle down your debt but it will be painful. How old are your children and how many do you have? Can they do anything to earn some of their sports expenses? The amount you spend each month on their sports would go a long way to paying down your debt - but you know that. The car payment seems huge, too, and it sounds like you have another year of that payment? You mention that you have a chronic illness - do you qualify for any sort of disability payments? Not sure how that works in Canada.

 

[JeRmS]

Tough situation to be in and in all honesty I don't think you will find your "solution" here on this forum.

Sure you can cut your monthly expenses to save a little but those cuts will not ultimately help out on 80,000 worth of debt.

- you have a landline and cell phones - any reason?
- you have cable - have you looked into online streaming programs
- your kids sports programs - sometimes sacrifice happens as a family

My best advice would be to seek the help of a professional, a Debt Law Firm in Canada that is willing to sit down with you and assess your personal situation and come up with a course of action.

For a long time I was in Debt, major debt ... I thought bankruptcy was the only way out but was scared because I am young (yes my debt was stupid debt, stuff I didn't need) so I went to a Debt Settlement Law firm and as we started putting everything together the lawyer recommeded that I would be better off with "Settlements" than filing for bankruptcy. This lawyer contacted each of my creditors and advised that he was representing me and that I was unable to continue paying on the accounts and would like to settle each of them to avoid bankruptcy .... out of 5 credit cards ... 4 of them took my offers and settled and the other 1 counter offered and we worked out a deal for repayment that fit my needs.

 

[scrapquitler]

Hi everyone.

I know you all will judge when you read this and we deserve it. Not sure how we have amassed this debt but once in it, we are finding it impossible to get out. It is so bad now we are considering bankruptcy or consumer proposal and I need suggestions on these. I do post on these boards but have changed my name as I am embarrased and do not want anyone to know who we are. We have not been to Disney or on any trip in over 2 years. There are none planned. I can't imagine we will ever be able to go on a trip again.

My husband and I both work full time (Well I work 30 hours but can not work anymore due to children). We are in Canada. Please remember Canada tax rates are hugely different than US but one benefit is that we do have health care. I have recently been diagnosed with a life long disease that will impact me in many ways but I can still work. Husband is in very secure job that is well paying.

Combined we do make 115,000. However after taxes (get ready to gasp), pension, union fees, etc we take home on a monthly basis 5400-5600.

We do own a home but have a large mortgage.

How did we get into this stupid situation? Honestly, I hate to say it, we just kept using credit to pay for everything that came up. We were stupid. But once we realized how stupid we were being, we couldn't catch back up. It is very easy to say you can when the money comes easy. Once the interest rates click in though, forget it. We did not purchase trips, designer clothes, etc. We basically were using this for emergency items that came up. If you came through our home you would see we have nothing special. No big purchases over last 2 years.......husband and I have not bought gifts for each other in over 5 years. No furniture purchases in last 5 years besides for tv. Odd towles, sheets, and small appliances have been bought due to need. Those would go on credit as we do not have extra.............If you walked through my closet you would see there are no new clothes and clothes I do have are not name brand. In fact, I have three tshirts and it is now summer and trying to figure out how to get a few more...........not to mention shorts.

We do not drink or smoke.

We spend money on the kids. Unfortunately there is where any extra goes and it is a case of our kids were gifted athletically and we can't seem to take them out of the sports. They do extremely well in the sports they are in. Highest levels. They are good kids. They do not get extra toys, videogames, name brand clothing, etc. What they get is payments on their sports every month.

Here is run down of our expenses (and you can gasp that we pay even further taxes on all things we purchase, and also big land taxes. This is how we get free health care

Monthly
Mortgage: 1600
Land taxes: 380
Heat: 155
Hydro: 200
Landline: 65.00
Cable: 55.00
Internet (need this for work): 60.00
Bank fee: 15.00
Car and house insurance: 315
Cells: 75
Car payment (done next March so 10 months to go): 510
Total: 3430

Variable (some months these go up and down)
Groceries (pet food, personal hygenie, haircuts, etc included): 800
Car gas (gas is more expensive in Canada): 600

1400+3430=4830

Kids sports: 520

Total: 5350

Okay so we should even out there.......except there is nothing for emergencies........when we need an oil change, or new tires or the furnace breaks down......and when we need to buy Christmas presents, kids school functions, home maintenance, or we have to pay for vet bill, liscense fees, or we need running shoes, or clothes (kids do grow and things do wear out) or we decide to visit family every few months and have to spend an extra 75.00 in gas. We never eat out. Well maybe 3 times a year.
So every month these things come up and what did we do. We put them on credit. Plus we had a business that went broke and 20,000 of the debt is from that...............

Total of all debt: almost 80, 000.

So on a monthly basis how do we pay the 2500 or more that we need to pay monthly minimums...........we don't have it. So we pay one to take from the other and it is an awful cycle.

How do we get out of this mess. Even if we tell kids they get no sports anymore, then what? We still can not make ends meet. That is the only thing we can possibly cut. Gas can not be reduced as we have to drive everywhere. Groceries maybe can cut a tiny bit here and there but nothing significant. Can't cut internet as I work from home a lot. Could cut cable I guess for 50.00 a month. Otherwise there is nothing else to cut. Nothing.

How do we manage? So do we go bankrupt? We hate to do that as they would take the little bit of retirement savings we do have and risk of losing our home, not to mention never having credit again.

So what can you tell me about consumer proposals? Do they work?

Just fyi, we are not behind on anything. We manage to get all monthly payments paid but unfortunately then we just have to use that again so debt is not going down.

We can not borrow from anyone. Nor would I feel right asking. We got into this mess now we have to figure how to get out. This is causing stress in our marriage and we are much more irriitable with kids. No fun wondering how to buy groceries or get gas into the car.

Help, suggestions, anything. Like I said, please do not judge, I know we made mistakes. I can't fix that now. Would we go back and change those mistakes. Without a doubt but we can not now. Do we want to fix what we can? yes. Do we want to sleep peacefully again. yes.


thank you.

Can you get rid of cable and the landline? Can you refinance your mortgage? Can you sell your house and rent something less expensive?

 

[tohardtolose]

A rental in this area for 3 bedroom (would need 3 bedrooms as we have two opposite sex children) would be about 1400-1800. So in reality that would save us nothing and we would be just dumping money into nothing. At least long term we will have a lot of equity in our home. We did think about renting and looked into it. There is a reason we need a house but if I write about that people might know who we are and dont want to divulge that.
Car payment is gone in 10 months so very happy about that. We would get nothing back to equal it or would have to start again with another payment over 4 years so do not want to go there. Cars are more expensive here too.

We are seriously considering dumping the sports too and if we do, yes, have that extra too but still can not make ends meet so was wondering if anyone had tried the consumer proposal or know anything about them.

Just looking at some idea if we shoudl consider the consumer proposal or if we shoudl just continue to live like this month after month...........which really is not boding well for anyone:-(

Thank you.

 

[Freesia123]

Can you refinance your mortgage? Then use that mo et to pay down the high interest loans?

 

[Doodlebug939]

I dont have a lot of words of wisdom but I wanted to offer you a big hug for asking for help. There have been a lot of people on here who have offered emotional and financial advice when someone has needed it.

I dont know how bankrupcy laws work in your country so that is a little difficult to analyse as an option. I think there are differnt types of bankrupcy here that allow a person to keep their home.

I would look at my budget and see where I can shave a little off of the bottom line. Can you get cheaper insurance rates? Do you need a landline with a cell phone? The car being paid off in the next year is really going to help a lot when you get there. Now it is not much help but knowing that you will gain back some money in your budget with help.

Have you looked at the discussion called "Debt Dumpers" on this board. It is very encouraging and motivating. Seeing and having people share their experiences keeps me going. I started paying off the smallest little debts which was through working a little extra, using coupons, and little stuff like that and when I paid the first one off I was able to apply a little more money to the next debt. It might not seem like much but it does help mentally to see one less bill in the mail. I am not perfect and I still spend too much at times when I shouldnt but I am a work in progress and so are you.

I know that you dont want to cut the childrens sports but I believe that you have to shave some off of it. I limit my kids to one activity per season becaues it is too costly and with supplies, gear, and the added gas it is just too much for our family. I would be honest with your children (if age appropriate) and ask them to chose what is important to them and focus on those activities.

Can you consolidate on your debts or ask for them to negotiate rates? It is a long shot but might help. When I had some debt I was able to roll most of it to one card at a lower rate which saves a lot of interest and I felt like I had some form of control. Just a thought.

 

[Freesia123]

Can you get a Japanese exchange student? In Vancouver they pay $900 a mo th for room and board...

 

[HM]

So if rental homes are 1400-1800, then you do save. Even though it's close to your current mortgage, you no longer pay land tax and insurance on the house (just your household goods). That does give you a little wiggle room. And if you get rid of land line and cable tv, you've got some more. And then cut back on the children's sports costs.

It will still probably be a good idea to do what JeRmS (Posted above). Good luck!

Oh, and how about yard sales to get rid of old toys, clothing, household goods you never use, etc.

 

[DisneyMomma81]

You can't work because of kids?

Sorry about your illness.

CAN ~ healthcare/high taxes, why do you think you have high taxes

I wish you well.

 

[shortbun]

I agree that you have some tough decisions to make. $500+ for sports monthly is a lot. I'd cut there for sure. How old are your children? They must be old enough to cut lawns, shovel snow, do erands, babysit...they can pay for their own sports, eh? I agree that you need to find a rental so you cut your housing cost as well as land tax. Have a yard sale or use ebay/Craig's list to sell antiques, large TV's, furniture, anything you have on your credit cards...you could not afford it then and you can not afford it now. Get rid of cable, at least for the summer. Hit the library for DVD's, books, etc. so your kids still have entertainment but FREE entertainment. My sister doesn't have a television and she does lots of fun stuff with all of that money-you could pay your bills. Every extra cent you put on your credit card reduces your interest and debt.

 

[Marionnette]

A rental in this area for 3 bedroom (would need 3 bedrooms as we have two opposite sex children) would be about 1400-1800. So in reality that would save us nothing and we would be just dumping money into nothing. At least long term we will have a lot of equity in our home. We did think about renting and looked into it. There is a reason we need a house but if I write about that people might know who we are and dont want to divulge that.
Car payment is gone in 10 months so very happy about that. We would get nothing back to equal it or would have to start again with another payment over 4 years so do not want to go there. Cars are more expensive here too.

We are seriously considering dumping the sports too and if we do, yes, have that extra too but still can not make ends meet so was wondering if anyone had tried the consumer proposal or know anything about them.

Just looking at some idea if we shoudl consider the consumer proposal or if we shoudl just continue to live like this month after month...........which really is not boding well for anyone:-(

Thank you.

A. You do not need 3 bedrooms just because you have 2 opposite sex children. Geez! My dad grew up in a 2-bedroom house and he had 3 sisters! You make things work because that's what you have to do. Since you cannot work more hours because of the kids, I assume that they are pretty young. They can certainly share a room. They would if you were on a Disney vacation!

B. Home ownership costs more than just your mortgage. It costs to insure that house, heat that house and maintain that house. A renter pays rent and the landlord pays for the rest (with the exception of heat and electric, sometimes). Renter's insurance can be obtained to cover your possessions for much less than a home owner's policy.

C. No need to disclose why you *need* a house if you feel that it will identify you. But you might as well know that some people are very good at figuring the identity of sock puppets. You've already said a lot. It won't be hard for them to guess who you are.

 

[tohardtolose]

Thank you doodlebug for the hug. You don't know how stupid we feel. It is an awful cycle and honestly for anyone starting to think oh, I will just put the small business on credit, and pay for a new fridge with this credit, DON"t do it. You can NOT catch up. Something always comes up. Pay cash for everything. We have learned but now we can't fix the mistake:-( We figured if we qualified for the credit, it must mean they think we can pay it but it does not work like that and don't believe it.

Unfortunately here in Canada we do not have cell phone deals like you all do. Those cell phones only have about 150 minutes on them locally. So if I added long distance (which I would have to to talk to all family) and more local minutes they would cost close to 150-200 per month so might as well keep the landline. Husband needs cell for work but could dump mine and save about 30.00 a month there.


I may have to see what our house would appraise at. Then ask to refinance BUT with all this debt would they even refinance? When we got the mortgage we did not have all this debt. We still have three years before it comes up again for renewal.

So dumping cable and phone would save about 80.00 a month. Not a lot, but certainly a consideration. Dump kids sports and we are at about 600 total a month. That still does not get us where we need to be to even make a dent but I guess it is a small start. This is why we keep going in circles. I know none of you can help. Just wondered if we were missing something...........and if anyone had done a proposal before. JenRmS what you did sounds like what I mean. Basically 5 years of our life to get rid of it by doing settling but after 5 years we should be clear...............the 5 years will be awful but nothing worse then what we live every day now. Then in those 5 years we should have more equity in house and could move and downsize...........and them maybe we might have extra but I doubt it as oldest would be close to going to school and we would have those bills. Just feeling very pessimistic right now.

So sad, and so sick of all this. Please everyone, do not get yourself in this situation. It affects every part of your life.

 

[tohardtolose]

Sorry to the person who thinks I do not work. I work about 30 hour out of the house and then about 10 more at home. My husband works about 50 hours a week plus commuting. For our lifestyle I really do not know how I would work more hours and be able to see my kids is what I meant. I did not intend when I had kids to not spend any time with them and that is one thing I will not change. They grow to quickly and I will do whatever I have to do now to still be able to spend some time with them while they are at home.
I hope that makes more sense. Again, thank you everyone for the suggestions. It helps.

 

[tohardtolose]

One of the children is not old enough to cut lawns, etc. The other one is but spends so much time at the sport that there is no more time to make money after homework, and a few small hours to spend with family. Saying that, if we give up the sport lose the chance at the scholarship but then could work some time and use that money to buy whatever they need.

 

[DisneyMomma81]

Hi everyone.

My husband and I both work full time (Well I work 30 hours but can not work anymore due to children). thank you.

Oops I didn't read that quite right ~ I read it to mean you cannot work anymore *as is you're quitting your job* due to children

Sorry to the person who thinks I do not work. I work about 30 hour out of the house and then about 10 more at home. My husband works about 50 hours a week plus commuting. For our lifestyle I really do not know how I would work more hours and be able to see my kids is what I meant. I did not intend when I had kids to not spend any time with them and that is one thing I will not change. They grow to quickly and I will do whatever I have to do now to still be able to spend some time with them while they are at home.
I hope that makes more sense. Again, thank you everyone for the suggestions. It helps.

Got it

 

[pigletto]

Your are in the dreaded income bracket that gets absolutely slammed with taxes. Look at those numbers. Your losing almost half of your take home (didn't do the math). Yikes.

I know you want anonymity and I can respect and understand that, however my biggest piece of advice is to dump that house ASAP. If you are in Vancouver that's your problem right there. If you're in Ontario somewhere you have other options. I know if you were here with a mortgage payment and land taxes that high you have a horrible interest rate or your house is way too large for you. However we are in a small town, 2 hours from Toronto.
But that advice is pointless if you are in a metropolitan area like Toronto or Van because the smallest house will cost you that much. Have you considered moving? A rental won't save you much.. I know here it's as much as my mortgage to rent a house nowhere near as nice, and it would be in a seedy area. So I won't suggest renting. But buying a smaller house would be my first piece of advice if it's possible, even if it means moving to a more rural community and commuting which is what we're doing.

Then the sports.. they've got to go IMO. I know you said your kids are talented and excel but my son plays tennis, house league basketball and travel basketball, as well as soccer and goes to summer camps for less than 1000 a year! Surely they'd still get the benefit of physical activity and being on a team even if it was only the community house league basketball.

If you eliminated them all together, dropped your land line and cable you free up $630 right there! There's a sizeable chunk to slap on that debt right away.

I think the first shift needs to come in your mind, not your bank account. Look at that list and ask yourself for each item... "Is this truly necessary? Is this worth my happiness and peace of mind?". I think for many of those items the answer will be no and you can whittle down from there.

I even think the $800 for groceries a month is too high. I know with careful planning and making a menu of what's on sale etc that we can do it for $500-$600 a month if needed. We are a family of four as well.

Those are just some ideas to get you started. This is not unmanageable and I think you can get out of this without bankruptcy. It will be hard but you CAN do it.


ETA) As I was writing I saw your subsequent post regarding the sports which changes my answer.. sorry I though it was much younger kids. Even still.. the *possibility* of a scholarship wouldn't be worth the monthly bill in your shoes.

 

[pigletto]

Just thought of something else.. we need a landline too. We use Vonage.. it's through our internet and $24.00 a month. We're switching our internet to Acanac next month and it comes with free home number so it will be even cheaper. It's worth looking into if you can get either of those services in your area.