Depressed......long and frank ( a "me" UPDATE on pg 5 )

[4cruisin]

Kristy,

I sent you a pm.

Nancy

 

[s&k'smom]

Hi, I have not even read the posts when I wanted to respond. I have read your posts in the past and thought what a great person you are and I think if I knew you in person we would get along great. I was diagnosed with mild depression last year. I have been to a therapist and a psychiatrist for meds. I hope to be off the meds by the end of the summer and have "graduated" from therapy. It's like when you go into AA, you have to hit a bottom. You have been through quite a bit in the last few years but the fact that you recognize that you need help is the first step. Go, go, go, go to a therapist and meds are not a lifetime deal. You can go on them for a short time to whether the storm so to speak.

Always, come to us on the dis, we are a cyber family and we are all here for you.

 

[Briar Rose 7457]

If you're feeling this way, Kristy, don't hesitate -- get the right help.

 

[mickeyboat]

You are getting great advice and lots of support here. I hope you know that we are always here to listen and to offer support.

I'l like to add my hugs. Please let us know if there is more we can do.

Denae

 

[6_Time_Momma]

Thanks for all your replies. I made a doctor's appt with my GP for Tuesday afternoon. Seems like an eternity away.

 

[Rikersmom]

Kristy--

Now you just have to get through the next couple days till Tuesday. Please check in from time to time on the boards. I'm feeling good about the number of helpful and concerned replies that you received. Hope it makes you feel a bit better, too.

Today is almost done. Saturday and Sunday will go quickly. Monday is a holiday--do you get some time off work? Then, presto, it's Tuesday. See?

 

[Teejay32]

Hi Kristy, sorry to see you so down. I’ve been through this a couple of times myself, and I’m lucky (?) that it seems to be a family trait, so it’s ok and even expected to get all these things out at the dinner table if you feel like it.

Like someone else said this happens frequently to people who do a lot of caring for others. A line I stole from some website: everyone has his or her own “healing path” - yours might involve taking some meds, talking things out with a therapist, making some adjustments in life to make things easier on yourself, or some combination. BUT, you’ll get there, and you’ve already started by venting to people in a place that feels safe and helpful. Eventually your days will start getting a little brighter, you’ll feel like you’re carrying less “stuff” around in you all the time (that happens pretty fast actually) and you’ll know you’re on your way. At least that’s my experience.

Be good to yourself over the weekend, because you need it and you deserve it. Call in sick at work, get the kids to pamper you for the evening, splurge on something, whatever it takes. If the wait for your appointment is just intolerable call the GP who’s covering and get seen sooner. Sending good thoughts your way.

 

[Barb D]

I haven't read the rest of the replies so forgive me if I'm repeating...

I have an adult friend who lost her sister to drowning when they were children. My friend tells me that her mother (now in her 60s) still takes anti-depressants around the anniversary of the her daughter's death. I say this not to depress you even more, but to encourage you that your feelings are SO understandable, and that medication can help.

I've been on antidepressants myself. It was hard to do it, because I felt that my circumstances were what was depressing me (actually more anxiety than depression), and not a "chemical imbalance". (And my circumstances aren't nearly as difficult as yours.) But the antidepressants and counseling DID help, and I didn't need to stay on them long term.

I don't remember if you said you're having marriage issues too...Let me encourage you to get specific marriage counseling from a trained marriage counselor in addition to whatever counseling you get because of your depression. If your DH won't go, go without him.

 

[mep319]

Originally posted by bubbleprincessmom
As a mother who has lost a child, I too know how you feel. It has been 8 years this July since I buried the light of my live. Even saying 8 years is difficult, because to the average person that seems "so long ago" but to me it was just yesturday. You don't ever "get over" losing a child, but my dear friend, time does make the wound less painful, the scar will always be there, but it will heal, it will never be the same but your heart will find some peace. Depression is NOTHING to be ashamed of or afraid of, with treatment you will finally start to see the light at the end of the tunnel. All I had to do was tell my DR that I had lost my son and wasn't coping well and they gave me meds. I took them for about a year, and than was strong enough to stop them. I have learned that there is a difference between saddness and depression, I have suffered from both. I have recovered from one but not the other...I'm sure you can overcome this with some help. Marriages do struggle after the death of a child, when you don't want to talk to anyone you have to struggle to keep the lines open with your spouse, he lost a baby too. I often lost sight of that with my husband ...David was his stepchild but he loved him and raised him as his own... men hurt in different ways than us woman....that drove me crazy!! WHY wasn't he crying, he coped by throwing himself into work. Didn't want his mind to be idle to think about it. These are things that I have learned from him about his grief process, but it took alot of time for that to happen. You also have survining children that need you. I sometimes still tell my daughter (who was only 1 when her brother died) "I wish you knew mommy when she was happy all the time". You will find your way down this path, I am so sorry that you must walk it, just please know YOU ARE NOT ALONE

Love

Monica
mother to Brian, CJ and Sarah....and still a mother to David in heaven

I hope to never experience such pain. The thought brings me to tears.

 

[Pembo]

Kristy my first thought was post partum depression. I'm glad you are going to the dr. Try to get some rest this weekend and to do something just for you today!

 

[crs7568]

Kristy, I am so glad to see that you have made an appointment with your physician. It is definitely a step in the right direction. It is impossible for me to imagine the pain that you are experiencing and I am so sorry for your loss. Treat yourself well this weekend and know that you will probably soon be feeling a little better. Hopefully seeing how many people care about you will also be some help.

 

[6_Time_Momma]

Just a little update on how I am doing this weekend.

DH and I talked last night some. Made me feel better about our marriage, but at the same time, it made me feel worse about myself.......opened my eyes to some things about myself.

I haven't told him about how really depressed I am feeling. Because of what happened with his mom, he has real strong feelings about depression and such, obviously. I don't know what he would think of me if I said I was depressed.

Anyway, I also worked last night, and although I really dislike work, I really like the girls I work with and so they helped me feel a bit better (at least last night).

That's all for now. Thanks for being my listening ear.

 

[goofy4tink]

Hi Kristy...glad you're hanging in there. Keep talking to your dh. Talking is good. It is really hard to find there is stuff about yourself you might not like. But, that is the first step to liking yourself better!! You can't fix what you don't realize is wrong. Thanks for checking in...I've been thinking about you all day. It's amazing how much impact people have that we don't even know in person!!! Try to have a good week-end. Hang in there.

 

[Mimi Q]

How are you doing? Did you see your doctor?

 

[Dan Murphy]

Hope the days are going better, Kristy.

 

[4cruisin]

Kristy,
I've kept you in my thoughts and prayers since you posted this message. Please let us know how you are doing. You have a lot of friends here that really care.

Nancy

 

[pw2pp]

Me too Kristy. I hope you are doing alright. I will continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[oldkicker]

Adding my very best wishes and {{hugs}} for you, Kristy...

 

[Serena]

 

[Louise-Montreal]

Have been down the depression route myself- I promise the days will get better- a little bit more each day. Glad to hear you are going to the doctor. Remember we are all here sending you paryers and pixie dust. You are in my thoughts.

Louise