Depressed at holidays?

[Gail T AGAIN]

Am I the only one that gets depressed starting Nov. 1st till after Jan 1st? It has nothing to do with present or money or family, just I see happy couples then there is me all alone, it sucks

 

[Disney Doll]

No, you are not the only one who gets depressed at the holidays. It's one of the worst (if not THE worst)times of the year for an increase in depression, alcoholism, and other psych difficulties.

We take of a lot more depressed people between November 1 and January 15 than we do any other time of the year!

 

[Poohbear123]

{{{Hugs}}}. I know, my "kids" are grown UP and on thier own, doing thier Own things for the holidays. Don't think it includes me or DH.

 

[aprincessmom]

This is the second holiday season where I am not part of a couple and, I know this sounds crazy, but I am not depressed in the least. I don't have to suffer through work parties where I know no one, I don't have to search high and low for gifts for relatives related by marriage who hate everything you give them anyway, no more sitting through dysfunctional family gatherings.

Maybe it will change as I spend more holidays as a single instead of part of a couple, especially at parties. I can leave when I want, not have to worry about anyone not having a good time, etc. For right now I'm enjoying the company of my daughter and friends and family.

 

[Tony-NJ]

I miss my parents and the way the whole family used to get together at the holidays. Aunts, Uncles, Cousins Grandparents etc. I am thankful for Chris' family though, because otherwise it would only be my Sister and me.

 

[TinkerPixie]

I'm sure this Christmas will be fairly depressing. It's a bad time to be missing my Mom, she loved Christmas so much.

 

[browneyes]

My grandmother died a week before Christmas almost 11 years ago. Christmas was a big deal to her. We always got together as a family on Christmas Eve. Christmas has NEVER been the same since she died. It's like a big part is missing. My SO's mom died 2 weeks before Christmas almost 8 years ago. December is a bittersweet month for us.

So, no, you're not alone about the depression, Gail. {{hugs}}

 

[Pin Wizard]

No, you're not alone. It's a difficult time of year for some people. Most of my immediate family is gone...husband, parents, oldest sister. I try to be positive and thankful for DS...what a blessing he is! I wish I could be content with that. But this time of year is tough. Nov. 16 was 10 years since DH died and maybe that's escalating what I feel just a bit. Some people say we need to make new traditions. Well, for 10 years I've been trying to make new traditions, but nothing feels right! Another holiday season to endure. It's a real shame that it's like that. (((((((Hugs)))))) to those that need it!

 

[imgoingtodisney]

Ive had a falling out w/MIL. DHs side of the family will get together to celebrate Dec 14 and Im not invited. There will be 7kids, 3SILs/BILs, DH & MIL. Trying to think of something to keep myself busy.
I will hopefully have cruise trip reports, getting myself lunch (why should I miss out on eating?), maybe wrapping more of DSs presents, etc. Or if my friend is home I'll go make a nuisance of myself.

 

[Pooh93]

{{HUGS}} Gail. Remember, things are not always as they appear and people may not be as happy as you think they are! This time of year makes me melancholy also! My dh's family is really dysfunctional and my mom died 15 1/2 years ago. I'd have loved for her to have known my beautiful dd's. I always feel like I got gyped. But at the same time, I am very blessed to have my dd's.

You are not alone.

 

[susy]

So sorry to hear all of these stories. My grandmother died on Thanksgiving Day 4 years ago. She was not sick or anything. My cousin is a pastor at a church in south Miami. They always have a service followed by dinner. My mom, her DH, and my grandmother always went.

Right before the service, my grandmother and her sister in law (2x, she is my grandfather's sister, married to my grandmother's brother) went to the rest room. On the way back , my grandmother collapsed- right in the foyer of the church. The service was just starting , so my cousin had his son take over and went with my mom and her Dh to the hosital. My grandmother died heart attack) on the way there,in the ambulance. I had just been with her the day before- she was fine-doing laundry.

We don't let it ruin the holiday, but instead are thankful that she went as she did. She didn't suffer and was NEVER in the hospital or not able to care for herself. She died in her complete right mind and was 85 years old.

My Dh's family is a little selfish about the holidays and my family doesn't care, so I'm usually with them. Oh well!!!!!!

 

[snoopy]

When my mother first died, I was very depressed during the holidays. I didn't see how it was possible to celebrate Christmas when I didn't have my mom to share it with.

But then a magical thing sort of happened.

When my mother died, in the spring, my sister and I were going through her things. My best friend and her mother were there for emotional support. We came across an afghan that my mother was just starting, and it really hit both of us hard. My BF's mother put it in a bag, and that was the end of it. I think we both forgot about it or chose not to think about it.

So that Christmas rolls around, and both my sister and I are very depressed. My sister was living with me at the time, she was only 17. Neither of us felt much like celebrating until my best friend and her mother came to the house with two presents for us. When we unwrapped the presents we found two afghans - Betty, my best friend's mother, had made two afghans out of the one my mother had started. It reminded me that family is what you make of it. I think my mother appointed Betty my surrogate mother that year, and for many years thereafter. Betty is now gone too, but I have learned life is for the living. I rarely get depressed anymore, because I have so many people who love me and who I love. Family does not have to be people who are related by blood.

I'm sorry you feel down, Gail, and I hope you find someone special to share the holidays with.

 

[Krisu]

I think a lot of people feel the same. Especially if family members are no longer with us. I miss grandparents and my father, my cousin died suddenly 2 years ago which I still have a hard time with. I think we all remember happier holidays from our childhood(which is why the 60's Christmas memories thread is popular ) It also doesn't help that it gets dark so early.

 

[Mickeyfaniam]

snoopy that was beautiful story, thanks for sharing

I get depressed at times too, I miss my Mom who died 3 years ago and MIL died on Christmas Eve last year. Those are the houses we spent Christmas Eve and Christmas Day at for the last 20 years. As Pin Wizard stated making new traditions is hard, nothing feels right.

{{HUGS }} to all on this thread

 

[Miss Jasmine]

This time of the year is tough. I miss the big family gatherings. Most of us are scattered around now and we don't make the effort we should to get together. Plus I miss my dad who passed away at such a young age. My mom and her husband don't celebrate Christmas and Thanksgiving is always a struggle for many reasons, though we do end up spending it with my mom. Luckily this is our year to have DH's kids on Christmas and New Years eve. The years we don't are even more difficult. I find the holiday season is a love-hate time for me. I do enjoy it but it is always surrounded by sadness in some way.

{{{HUGS}}}

 

[jx3smom]

This year the hollidays seem to be very depressing for me. My mom died in Feb. so this is the first year without her. Christmas was always very big at her house. Lots of relatives and friends in and out. I'm really worried about my dads reaction. I can cope with how I feel but I may not be ready to cope with my dad's depression, too. Also, DH was supposed to be off this year and he isn't. He has to work 11am-7pm and it really stinks.