Dental ? getting 2nd opinion 4 DD11 cavities

[angwill]

Go for a second opinion.

I had a similar thing happen with my DS. He had no cavities at all and our dentist retired when he was 13 so I took him to a new dentist and realized when I got there it was a dental factory. A dentist where there are a dozen or so dentists and twice as many patients being seen at once. I figured I would let them examine and clean his teeth but nothing else and made that clear to the receptionist.

I started getting concerned 45 minutes later and was assured he was just getting his xrays, exam, and cleaning. DS comes out white as a ghost and looking petrified. I asked the receptionist what happened he was only supposed to get a cleaning and she said that is all he got. He says my mouth is numb mom. I looked in his mouth to see 4 fillings and was so angry all I could do was leave.

He had no clue what they were doing as he only had cleanings in the past and he said nobody explained anything to him. He said they stuck him with a needle and just started drilling.

They had the nerve to call to tell me he had several other cavities I needed to bring him in to get filled. I took him to another dentist to find out that there were no other cavities and one that they filled was drilled so big that the tooth may crack soon and he will need a root canal if it does.

I learned a big lesson and if I ever walk into a doctors office like that and feel uncomfortable I will tell them to cancel the appointment and leave.

Always go with your instinct.

 

[angwill]

There are very good reasons why parents are not allowed back with childen. We let a mom come back because she insisted her child would be calmer with her in the room even though this is usually never the case. As soon as the dentist pulled out the scaler to count the child's teeth, the kid sat up to reach for the mom and almost got a scaler right in the eye. The only way to prevent that is holding the child down and that is a major NO NO. We find that if a child is too reluctant to do a cleaning than he needs to be sedated for his safety and to keep him from being traumatized. This is usually only needed for kids 5 and under in our office. If they are older, we will refer them to a dentist who is licensed to give them medicine to make them sleepy and do the work in the office. But if you have a dentist who will let you go back and your child does well, stick with it.

Sorry but I would worry about any dentist who would tell a parent they can not be in the room with their child especially if they are 5 and under and what they had to hide. I would also never allow a dentist to sedate a child for a routine visit and cleaning.. I would instead find a dentist who is good with children and can calm them so they don't need sedation.

I went in the room with my son till he was ready to go on his own which was around 3rd grade and believe it or not I was able to clam my child and not get in the dentists way.

 

[dizkids]

THANKS EVERYONE!

I have the new appointment for DD. They will try and use the xrays that were taken last week. They said their office uses digital xrays. I do however have to go and actually get the xrays. Great! I was hoping i wouldnt have to call up and say "hi i dont really like you can i have my DD xrays" : O

After reading all of your stories (and cringing at times) i am so thankful we are getting a second opinion.

Thanks again!

 

[ceecee]

Sorry but I would worry about any dentist who would tell a parent they can not be in the room with their child especially if they are 5 and under and what they had to hide. I would also never allow a dentist to sedate a child for a routine visit and cleaning.. I would instead find a dentist who is good with children and can calm them so they don't need sedation.

I went in the room with my son till he was ready to go on his own which was around 3rd grade and believe it or not I was able to clam my child and not get in the dentists way.

I have heard TOO many well meaning moms tell their child...."this won't hurt" or "you'll feel a bee sting!" Some kids do okay with moms, the majority do better without them! The treatment goes much faster when we don't have to talk them out of the word "hurt" when some weren't even expecting it to hurt. Many of the moms like to sit in the assistant's chair too.....and have to be asked to move.

 

[ExPirateShopGirl]

Most dentists aren't trying to 'get away' with anything. You are right, kids typically do better without a parent in the room. It's not as if exam rooms and operatories have doors...

I have heard TOO many well meaning moms tell their child...."this won't hurt" or "you'll feel a bee sting!" Some kids do okay with moms, the majority do better without them! The treatment goes much faster when we don't have to talk them out of the word "hurt" when some weren't even expecting it to hurt. Many of the moms like to sit in the assistant's chair too.....and have to be asked to move.

 

[bucket o' butter]

I would definitely get a second opinion. It never hurts. As far as laughing gas, our dentist has used it on all of my kids. It helps them relax and my kids have had no bad side effects whatsoever. I like it better than taking a medication to make them relax. It doesn't stay in their system near as long. Good luck!

 

[Coll0610]

DS sees a pediatric dentist, and the exam rooms do have doors. They close them if a child is getting upset - I assume that is so other kids don't hear the crying. I am welcome in the exam room with him but now he prefers to go back by himself and they just call me back to talk to the dentist. When he needed fillings and teeth pulled and even a crown, they used laughing gas and it really helped calm him down. Just remember, every child is different. Some may need the laughing gas; others do fine without it. Some do better with a parent in the room; others do better without. Figure out what works and go with it.

 

[svhargis]

Our office always allows parents back for routine visits and for exams but when it involves shots, and more dangerous instraments, it is a safety issue. We also never use sedation for these types of visits unless the child has a mental illness. Now adays you also have a lot of parents who see a tooth getting pulled and when they see the pliers and hear that crack noise, no matter how numb the child is, they are ready to file a lawsuit. When a child gets a crown put on, you have to remove all of the decay off of the tooth. And if the child has been on the bottle or sippy cup all day and night since 1 year old, he is most likely going to need nurve treatments done too. All of this gets very bloody. It is best for the child, who has had the laughing gas and is calm, can not see any of this, and is numb, to not have to look over at his mom and see her crying and freak him out. I assist with at least 10 children a week who have to be put to sleep in the hospital because they are under the age of 5, need every tooth crowned, and are too small or nervous to be worked on in an office. They have to be put on antibiotics before treatment because their faces have swollen from infection and my heart breaks when they wake up with a mouth full of silver crying and gaging in a daze while the anesthesiologist is pulling a tube out of their nose. Then all the parents can say is, "The teeth are just going to fall out anyway." Then a couple of years later the same mom comes in with her next child to have the same thing done. I am sorry to rant but I have seen a lot of parents I want to horse whip and the 99% of the dentist I know in my area are doing what they think is best for the children. The one I am working for now is one of the most respected and I would never take my child anywhere else, even though the waiting list is 6 month.

 

[It'sWDW4me]

I have a story about my own teeth.

When I was a kid, apparently my pre-molars had very deep .... I don't know - grooves? pits? between the points of the tooth was a deeper than usual crevasse. I guess there were cavities in a few of those pre-molars so he convinced my mom to get the cavities filled and then to have the deep crevasses filled in a bit as a preventative. Thank you for listening Mom!

Anyway, no problems with those teeth for years. Didn't see a dentist while I was in college and then I get my first real job and have dental insurance again. I need to find a new dentist and I'm in luck - there's a dentist right up the street and he takes my insurance. So I schedule a check-up and cleaning. He takes a look around my mouth, takes a look at the x-rays and then proclaims that I have cavities under those preventatives and he. needs. to. pull. those. out. RIGHT. NOW.
Um, no. I don't have any pain/nothing indicating such severe cavities.
He assures me that I will soon and he really needs to get those out and fill my cavities.
Um, no, thanks.
Oh, I'll be sorry (he was, very literally, poised over me with tools in hand ready to yank those preventative fillings out)
Um, OK, I'll get back to you on that but it's not happening today.
No. Really. They need to be yanked. Now.
Again. NO!

I walked out of that office never to return. And those preventative fillings covering the "severe cavities"? 20 years later (probably 30 in total now), they're still in there doing their job! No other dentist has even suggested removing them.

Listen to your gut.

 

[QVCshopper]

My Father-In-Law, Brother-In-Law, and potential Sister-in-Law are all dentists with degrees from Penn Dental. My FIL has been practicing for years and is wonderful. My BIL joined him in the practice. So, I know A LOT about dentists. My potential SIL is stuck in a bad office.

Anyway, they say there are two types of offices. One is based solely on insurance (bad) while the other is monetary based (good). So, the insurance based just bills and bills your insurance for your money. The dentists are often younger (not necessarily bad) and the offices are often owned by RICH dentists trying to make a buck--usually they own almost a "chain" of offices--and don't practice much anymore. The monetary based ones may require you to pay up front and later you get reimbursed by your insurance, but they are there for you and care for you. They are often just one family owned office.

I hope that helps shed some light on the dental world... It's a good idea to get the second opinion if you don't feel right. And to the person whose son got 4 fillings without her knowing--that's just terrible.

BTW-while many people assume dentists are rich, they often graduate with $200K in loans. A crazy amount, even if their income is on the high side...

 

[dldwmom]

I have been reading these forums for years, but this one made me want to reply. I have a child who has had numerous teeth worked on, for several years. We have gone through several dentist because of moves, and others because of lack of professional courtesy. I would have to say with my experience and other mother's that I have talked to that 99% want to be back there when something is going on and do just fine. In fact, the pediatric dentist we wound up with required it. Control freak assistants do not encourage confident feelings with parents. We work hard to keep up with good dental habits, but one child just wound up with soft teeth, so a good dentist is worth a lot.

 

[angwill]

My dentist office has doors.

 

[dizkids]

Today i called the dental office to pick up DD xrays. They charge $25 for copies. Which is fine. I dont expect it free. However, they said they do copies and they keep the original that is their policy. Ok well mabye they think we are coming back On to the next!

 

[angwill]

$25 is a small amount to make sure your kids teeth are taken care of properly. Interesting that copies of xrays can be made. I didn't know that. Good luck with the new dentist.

 

[Momto3cuties]

We are going through some dental issues with my 5 year old now. He has always gone to my dentist for cleaning/check up and I took him there when he complained of tooth pain. Sure enough it was a deep cavity, but since they are not really set up for kids she referred us to a pediatric dentist. Gave us 3 cards and we picked one dentist - on his own, no partners, and took our insurance.

My 5 year old goes for cleaning/xrays/tooth problem and we are told he has 10 cavities and that the one that is hurting him needs a pulpotomy and stainless steel cap. He wants to work on some of the other cavities first and do the pulpotomy the 3rd/4th visit. I was definately skeptical about all this work, but my son is adopted and I know he probably did not have the best prenatal care, no milk for 15 months (they drink kefir in Russia), and his poor teeth could be genetic related. Figured I would take my 3 year old for a cleaning there and see what he says about him (3 year old also adopted from Russia). 3 year old has teeth cleaned, no cavities. I am starting to feel better about the dentist.

5 year old has 2 cavities filled while under laughing gas - I had to eventually hold him down as he was getting really upset. We made it through. So we go for next appt - dentist hopes to fill more cavities this time. Gets laughing gas again and then dentist picks at tooth over and over with a "pick" and then eventually uses the resin to fill the area. My son is SCREAMING, GAGGING, KICKING! I tell dentist to stop and ask if my son is feeling pain - says no, he has laughing gas - it doesn't hurt - he is just nervous, anxious, doesn't like this. I have to hold him down to finish - so much so that I am sore the next day! Dentist recommends we finish this at the hospital and put him under general, as he is too anxious and feels he is getting to the point of traumatizing him. he says it is taking forever (40 minutes for one cavity) to get the work done and he is worried he will slip up as my son is kicking, etc.

Medical will cover anesthesia, dental is the same coverage, but there is a $700 office fee that no one can tell me what that is covering...hmmmm....also, wait for hospital appt is over a month. Mind you he still has the pulpotomy to be done and is starting to complain the tooth hurts when he chew on it. I am at a LOSS - I DO NOT WANT TO EVER SEE MY SON SCREAMING LIKE THAT AGAIN so I would easily opt for the hospital. Not thrilled about putting him under general, totally do not get the $700 office fee, month + wait to do this work, and what about novocaine? Do they not use that with 5 year olds? Those of you with experience...what do you think? Should we run the other way? DH says we should ask pediatrician if there is something we can give son to make him less anxious before we decide to put him under general to have this done.

Sorry so long, but really wanted to give whole picture and see what others thoughts are.

 

[mombare]

Momto3cuties: My 5 year old son just had fillings done a week ago, and he never even flinched. It was a new dentist at our office, and she was very nice. He did have laughing gas, but they still gave him a shot of novacane. Did they not give your son a shot in addition to the laughing gas???? OMG - that would hurt! The laughing gas is intended to help relax them, giving them the feeling they are floating on clouds and also has a mild amnesia effect. It should NOT replace the anesthesia to perform the procedure. I do not work in the field, but have never heard of anyone doing that! How awful for all of you! I honestly would seek another opinion from one of the other dentists - give them a call and talk to them, at least. If his tooth is causing him pain, it would seem logical to have that one fixed first before doing anything else.

That being said....our DS went in for his first cleaning last fall and wound up with 7 cavities. Two are on front teeth that will fall out fairly quickly anyway, so we are leaving those. We fixed 3 of them last week, all on one side. We go back in 2 weeks to fill the remainder of them. My DH is annoyed that we are fixing his baby teeth "because they will just fall out anyway". Unfortunately they are teeth he will have for many years yet. Luckily my employer puts money in a reimbursement account for dental each year (rather than dental insurance), which is carried over each year up to a max amount. We have money to cover all of his work (and the one cavity my DD had, along with her sealants). I have a strong family history of horrible teeth, and we are not starting out very well with him!

 

[Momto3cuties]

No, no novocaine in addition to the laughing gas. Dentist assured me he was not feeling pain, was just upset because he was anxious and probably did not like anyone in his mouth.
Does everyone's little ones have laughing gas AND novocaine?

 

[redlawyer]

OMG!! I am wigging out reading these stories! I HATE going to the dentist, probably because I saw the movie Marathon Man when I was way too young and because I had so much work done when I was a teenager. I can remember blood spurting out of my mouth onto the dentist's bright white lab coat. Thankfully, I was high on a valium IV drip.

Now, when I take my kids to the dentist I am very careful not to project my issues onto them. I have always taken them to see my dentist. It never even occurred to me that they would ask me to leave the room! I just stand behind the chair, kind of hovering. I can't see their mouth, but the hygenist talks throughout the cleaning, where they need to do a better job brushing and stuff like that. They do have tv's in each room (without doors) so the kids are usually entranced by whatever is on Disney or Nickelodeon.

The next step is finding an orthodontist for the oldest. I'm really worried now that I've heard these stories!

 

[PEANUT1]

My DD 6 was 3 when we took her to the dentist for the first time. I took her to a ped dentist that my friend recommended. He said she had 6 cavities and wanted to fill them..He was going to put her under conscious sedation and we couldn't be in the room. I was not ok with this so I got a second opinion. This guy really gave me the creeps too.

The second ped dentist was great. She let my husband stay in the room with her, she used the gas and I am happy to say that my daughter now 6 is not afraid of going to the dentist even after all she has been through.