Debt Dumpers 2025

[DanceDisney23]

and if it DID, that's the bank's problem and they should be buying their own candy. grrr

That is certainly true. But for the sake of argument, I have never chosen a bank based on the availability of free candy. I don’t know anyone who has, either.

Also, I choose which branch of my bank I visit based on proximity. As long as the employees are friendly and competent, I don’t expect them to provide anything beyond the service I’m there for.

PP’s DW would be better off putting more effort into career and salary growth than in making customers and coworkers feel warm and fuzzy.

 

[ruadisneyfan2]

That is certainly true. But for the sake of argument, I have never chosen a bank based on the availability of free candy. I don’t know anyone who has, either.

Also, I choose which branch of my bank I visit based on proximity. As long as the employees are friendly and competent, I don’t expect them to provide anything beyond the service I’m there for.

PP’s DW would be better off putting more effort into career and salary growth than in making customers and coworkers feel warm and fuzzy.

I completely agree. I bring treats into work to share with coworkers and pretty much all of us do too. We do it to help morale and cope with the emotional stress.
Sometimes when we're really stressed out, we'll order some Buntini's from Nothing Bundt Cakes or Insomnia Cookies. We Venmo whoever put it on their cc.
For anyone who has never had Insomnia Cookies, they are delivered in a box, similar to a pizza box, and still warm out of the oven.
Omg they are decadent and should be illegal.
We have too many patients to buy for them too. The hospital buys treats for them and we keep a basket in the waiting room with cookies, crackers, etc.

 

[WDW_fan_in_TX]

Also, I choose which branch of my bank I visit based on proximity. As long as the employees are friendly and competent, I don’t expect them to provide anything beyond the service I’m there for.

PP’s DW would be better off putting more effort into career and salary growth than in making customers and coworkers feel warm and fuzzy.

DW has said lots of her customers drive across town (a town of 100k people) just to have her wait on them. She told me tonight that she's second in command at her banking center (only about 7-8 employees all together). I asked her about becoming a branch manager, and she said she'd turn it down if they offered it to her because she doesn't want the responsibility or the headache of what the branch manager puts up with.

 

[DanceDisney23]

DW has said lots of her customers drive across town (a town of 100k people) just to have her wait on them. She told me tonight that she's second in command at her banking center (only about 7-8 employees all together). I asked her about becoming a branch manager, and she said she'd turn it down if they offered it to her because she doesn't want the responsibility or the headache of what the branch manager puts up with.

It’s nice that your DW takes pride in her work. But that should be reflected in her compensation, not cost her extra. Also, you guys need to think bigger if working at a bank branch pays so little that you guys need to dip into emergency savings to pay bills or groceries. Can she switch to corporate? Get into a higher paying role in finance? If she got offered the branch manager job, the only correct answer would be yes. And then use that as a stepping stone.

It’s not the time to pat herself on the shoulder because customers are coming from far and wide (allegedly). It’s work, not a social club. But perhaps she can put that likability of hers to work by getting a tipped side job like waiting or bartending? What would her excuse be if you suggested that?

Your DW seems to have a lot of hills to die on that keep her from improving your family’s wellbeing. Meanwhile you guys are on the brink on financial disaster and you also need to improve your physical health which she also seems to sabotage. What is she bringing to the table?

 

[DanceDisney23]

And I’m sorry if my post above was harsh, but your wife is your worst enemy. I know others have pointed that out too. You won’t get anywhere if you keep putting her on a pedestal and making excuses for her.

 

[WDW_fan_in_TX]

It’s nice that your DW takes pride in her work. But that should be reflected in her compensation, not cost her extra. Also, you guys need to think bigger if working at a bank branch pays so little that you guys need to dip into emergency savings to pay bills or groceries. Can she switch to corporate? Get into a higher paying role in finance? If she got offered the branch manager job, the only correct answer would be yes. And then use that as a stepping stone.

It’s not the time to pat herself on the shoulder because customers are coming from far and wide (allegedly). It’s work, not a social club. But perhaps she can put that likability of hers to work by getting a tipped side job like waiting or bartending? What would her excuse be if you suggested that?

Your DW seems to have a lot of hills to die on that keep her from improving your family’s wellbeing. Meanwhile you guys are on the brink on financial disaster and you also need to improve your physical health which she also seems to sabotage. What is she bringing to the table?

We talked about her moving to another bank closer to home last night, and she said she's not changing. Said she's too happy and she might go somewhere where everyone sits at their desk and doesn't talk, doesn't interact and is just fuddy duddy. She also said she loves customer service and will not change that. Said she doesn't want to be in a supervisory role.

But I've done enough bad mouthing of her. I'm making her look worse than she is, I'm thinking. So I'm going to stop posting about DW and just get back to finances and budgeting since that's what this group is about.

 

[firefly_ris]

Pre-Holiday Update


- Max out 2024 IRA contribution before tax season

- Max out 2025 IRA contribution - 0/$7000 - DONE

- Lose 10 pounds 4/10 -- I'm still hovering in this same range. Working on it.

- Continue regular purging and de-cluttering -- Did a total refresh in the basement. My youngest is 12 1/2 and the play room wasn't getting much action anymore. We went through everything and put away in totes all the keepsake toys they want to hold on to and put them in storage. Then another big bag of toys to donate, and then a smaller amount of toys my youngest sold and made a few bucks on. Then I completely re-painted the entire basement, got rid of some more older stuff, and converted the playroom into a teen hangout room with a reading nook, small TV, etc. Only thing I had to actually buy was the paint and a few new runner rugs because the old ones were toast and shedding crap everywhere.

- Regularly re-examine and reduce discretionary spending -- No changes yet but working on convincing my youngest to cancel our Disney+/Hulu/ESPN+ subscription as the price keeps climbing and climbing.

- Sell off remainder of bins of eBay stuff in the basement - Nowhere near done but I did sell 1 more lot.

- Put $1,000 into personal brokerage account -- Way past this goal mostly due to fund re-organization

- Add $500 to each child's custodial brokerage -- DONE

- Read 1 book per month at least 6/12 -- Still behind on this but better than nothing

Doing a little glance at next year, I think I'm in a good spot to start throwing some extra money at the mortgage principal for at least half of next year just to put a little dent in that. The mortgage is our only outstanding debt with an interest rate of 3.75%. The balance is a point of stress for me -- we actually had it quite low but about 4 years ago we did a cash-out re-fi in order to invest in property and the business arrangement didn't work out. We still own the property but it's undeveloped, and now just have the larger mortgage to show for it. It's not a strain on our budget and we still have a ton of equity in the house regardless, but since I am just a really debt-averse person by nature I'd love to start tackling that a little more, but I didn't want to neglect retirement and brokerage with better returns to do that. But I think by the new year I am going to be comfortable enough to throw some extra at it. We shall see.

Everything else is just continuing good habits, not allowing lifestyle creep, which is always something to keep in check -- especially with the holidays coming up.

 

[WDW_fan_in_TX]

Pre-Holiday Update


- Max out 2024 IRA contribution before tax season

- Max out 2025 IRA contribution - 0/$7000 - DONE

- Lose 10 pounds 4/10 -- I'm still hovering in this same range. Working on it.

- Continue regular purging and de-cluttering -- Did a total refresh in the basement. My youngest is 12 1/2 and the play room wasn't getting much action anymore. We went through everything and put away in totes all the keepsake toys they want to hold on to and put them in storage. Then another big bag of toys to donate, and then a smaller amount of toys my youngest sold and made a few bucks on. Then I completely re-painted the entire basement, got rid of some more older stuff, and converted the playroom into a teen hangout room with a reading nook, small TV, etc. Only thing I had to actually buy was the paint and a few new runner rugs because the old ones were toast and shedding crap everywhere.

- Regularly re-examine and reduce discretionary spending -- No changes yet but working on convincing my youngest to cancel our Disney+/Hulu/ESPN+ subscription as the price keeps climbing and climbing.

- Sell off remainder of bins of eBay stuff in the basement - Nowhere near done but I did sell 1 more lot.

- Put $1,000 into personal brokerage account -- Way past this goal mostly due to fund re-organization

- Add $500 to each child's custodial brokerage -- DONE

- Read 1 book per month at least 6/12 -- Still behind on this but better than nothing

Doing a little glance at next year, I think I'm in a good spot to start throwing some extra money at the mortgage principal for at least half of next year just to put a little dent in that. The mortgage is our only outstanding debt with an interest rate of 3.75%. The balance is a point of stress for me -- we actually had it quite low but about 4 years ago we did a cash-out re-fi in order to invest in property and the business arrangement didn't work out. We still own the property but it's undeveloped, and now just have the larger mortgage to show for it. It's not a strain on our budget and we still have a ton of equity in the house regardless, but since I am just a really debt-averse person by nature I'd love to start tackling that a little more, but I didn't want to neglect retirement and brokerage with better returns to do that. But I think by the new year I am going to be comfortable enough to throw some extra at it. We shall see.

Everything else is just continuing good habits, not allowing lifestyle creep, which is always something to keep in check -- especially with the holidays coming up.

This is so cool. I wish I'd have done one early in the year to track my progress. And I do agree about ESPN/Disney+. But there's no other way to watch sports for cheaper that I've found. But I do agree it just keeps climbing and climbing.

 

[WDW_fan_in_TX]

I went back and found my first goals post of this year. And it is very eye opening and frustrating to look back on. I am so embarassed to even post it because I'm such a failure. Almost a year ago, I thought December was far away. Now looking back, it's here (almost). And I've done basically nothing off the list. And I don't' know how to change it. I believe it to be behavior related and decision making related. I have zero will power. I have the want to change. And I try. And try. And try. But my decisions (as someone said earlier) just don't lend toward wanting to make changes. Plus, it's tough to try and change when there's no support at home. I know those are all excuses, and I need to just do better and keep trying no matter what my DW wants, says or does.

But here's my original post (with updates through today in bold). Again, I'm so mad at myself. I feel like my decisions have led me to waste a year. I know I can't look back on the what ifs and the what might've been. I just have to figure out a way to change it by myself now! But here's my original post from the first week of January.

Finally got some time to sit down and pen out my goals for this season.

Financial:
- Continue budgeting/tweaking budget and stay on track with it (I do a budget every month, and we always go over budget in every category);
- Get EF up to $1k and keep it there (got it to $1k now it's down to $800 because we used the money to make ends meet);
- Pay off my credit cards and keep the revolving balance at $0 (still making minimum payments only, so not close to zero balances);
- School loans ($18k) - keep paying minimum payment on those and move CC payments to the school loan once CCs are paid off (got a deferral from first of the year until July, and now have started paying on those again. Just doing minimum payments for now);
- Up EF to eventual goal of $3k (not a chance in haites this is even going to get close to happening);
- Keep paying minimum payments on car loan until backup EF reaches $3k (then push everything we can at that since APR is 24.9 percent) (I have kept paying monthly minimums this year, so at least I've done something right);

Personal
- Lose 20 pounds before summer trip to Chicago (I was up over 280 last week for the first time ever); (Got down to 259 by Chicago, but now I'm back to 270, so goal achieved);
- Cook more fresh items at home instead of eating out or buying precooked stuff (meh, doing better but not happy here);
- Exercise 60 minutes per week (with 30 of that outside) (did well during spring and fall when it was cooler but stopped in summer when it was 95 at night outside, plus lack of support makes me not want to try);

 

[DanceDisney23]

We talked about her moving to another bank closer to home last night, and she said she's not changing. Said she's too happy and she might go somewhere where everyone sits at their desk and doesn't talk, doesn't interact and is just fuddy duddy. She also said she loves customer service and will not change that. Said she doesn't want to be in a supervisory role.

But I've done enough bad mouthing of her. I'm making her look worse than she is, I'm thinking. So I'm going to stop posting about DW and just get back to finances and budgeting since that's what this group is about.

I do think her behavior is a big factor in your financial situation. You can’t budget your way out of being married to a spender.

I’ve been reading your posts for the past couple of years or so. I’ve seen you make changes and work hard towards a better future. I’m rooting for you. But it always seems to be one step forward and two steps back with you guys. And part of it seems to be DW’s unwillingness to change anything or endure temporary discomfort for future improvement.

I know you love her. You married her after all. But you’re working hard treading water while she essentially acts as a millstone around your neck, drowning both of you.

I think it’s overdue for you to sit her down and have a come-to-Jesus talk. She doesn’t seem to grasp the precariousness of your situation. Ask for support from someone in your church. Perhaps that will make her listen. Or confide in your pastor and ask for their advice.

 

[Tygerlilly]

No changes yet but working on convincing my youngest to cancel our Disney+/Hulu/ESPN+ subscription as the price keeps climbing and climbing.

We actually talked the other day and canceled our legacy bundle. We never watch Hulu and rarely ESPN+. I'm pretty sure they really only watched Bluey on Disney+ and honestly, I can put the Bluey channel on YouTube and they would be happy. It's $27/month I just don't need to spend. I also stopped our Max sub for a little while, so that was $10/month. I'm keeping YouTube TV and Netflix because we watch them both daily. And I'm debating on my $12/month Crunchyroll one. I really should pause it for a month or two and just watch what's on Netflix, but I'm in the middle of a series on it so... I don't know. We get Paramount free thru Walmart+, which we get free because DH works for Walmart.


I sat my butt down and made a 2 week meal plan based off kids requests, what we had in pantry and freezer, and filled in from there. Made a grocery list. And I went grocery shopping. I actually kept my groceries down to $108 for what I needed for 2 weeks.

I'm selling and purging everything I can and really focusing on my little small business trying to make some extra income until I get hired on somewhere. It's just so hard to get something when my hours are so limited with DH's schedule.

 

[firefly_ris]

We actually talked the other day and canceled our legacy bundle. We never watch Hulu and rarely ESPN+. I'm pretty sure they really only watched Bluey on Disney+ and honestly, I can put the Bluey channel on YouTube and they would be happy. It's $27/month I just don't need to spend. I also stopped our Max sub for a little while, so that was $10/month. I'm keeping YouTube TV and Netflix because we watch them both daily. And I'm debating on my $12/month Crunchyroll one. I really should pause it for a month or two and just watch what's on Netflix, but I'm in the middle of a series on it so... I don't know. We get Paramount free thru Walmart+, which we get free because DH works for Walmart.

Yep... all my daughter watches is Hannah Montana, Bunk'd, and Good Luck Charlie.... so I'm paying $25/month for her to watch the same episodes of 10+ year old shows over and over. I'm pretty sure I'm going to just *ahem* acquire those series and put them on my media server and call it a day.

 

[afan]

I went back and found my first goals post of this year. And it is very eye opening and frustrating to look back on. I am so embarassed to even post it because I'm such a failure. Almost a year ago, I thought December was far away. Now looking back, it's here (almost). And I've done basically nothing off the list. And I don't' know how to change it. I believe it to be behavior related and decision making related. I have zero will power. I have the want to change. And I try. And try. And try. But my decisions (as someone said earlier) just don't lend toward wanting to make changes. Plus, it's tough to try and change when there's no support at home. I know those are all excuses, and I need to just do better and keep trying no matter what my DW wants, says or does.

But here's my original post (with updates through today in bold). Again, I'm so mad at myself. I feel like my decisions have led me to waste a year. I know I can't look back on the what ifs and the what might've been. I just have to figure out a way to change it by myself now! But here's my original post from the first week of January.

Finally got some time to sit down and pen out my goals for this season.

Financial:
- Continue budgeting/tweaking budget and stay on track with it (I do a budget every month, and we always go over budget in every category);
- Get EF up to $1k and keep it there (got it to $1k now it's down to $800 because we used the money to make ends meet);
- Pay off my credit cards and keep the revolving balance at $0 (still making minimum payments only, so not close to zero balances);
- School loans ($18k) - keep paying minimum payment on those and move CC payments to the school loan once CCs are paid off (got a deferral from first of the year until July, and now have started paying on those again. Just doing minimum payments for now);
- Up EF to eventual goal of $3k (not a chance in haites this is even going to get close to happening);
- Keep paying minimum payments on car loan until backup EF reaches $3k (then push everything we can at that since APR is 24.9 percent) (I have kept paying monthly minimums this year, so at least I've done something right);

Personal
- Lose 20 pounds before summer trip to Chicago (I was up over 280 last week for the first time ever); (Got down to 259 by Chicago, but now I'm back to 270, so goal achieved);
- Cook more fresh items at home instead of eating out or buying precooked stuff (meh, doing better but not happy here);
- Exercise 60 minutes per week (with 30 of that outside) (did well during spring and fall when it was cooler but stopped in summer when it was 95 at night outside, plus lack of support makes me not want to try);

I agree with @DanceDisney23 that you need to have a real/honest/uncomfortable conversation about everything not just a monthly budget. Show her this post.

All of these changes aren't just for now but for later. There needs to be an understanding that it's likely she will outlive you and that you focusing on your health now will help prolong when that happens. But it also means she needs to understand at some point she will be alone and will be much better off if she can stick to a budget now and can have some savings.

A lot of us don't like being told what to do, even when it's in our best interest. Approach this as I'm doing all of this for both of us and would like for you to at least accept the changes and appreciate and participate if/once you understand. Some people just won't change but she at least needs to come to acceptance that you are. And if she can't then ask why. It needs to be discussed and not continually brushed under the rug or you not making the changes you want because it'll upset her or whatever her reaction is.

As for summer workouts, go walk at the mall in ac or somewhere similar. Do something inside your house. There are still ways to do it without being outside.

 

[sandam1]

- Regularly re-examine and reduce discretionary spending -- No changes yet but working on convincing my youngest to cancel our Disney+/Hulu/ESPN+ subscription as the price keeps climbing and climbing.

Have you thought about turning this into a financial teaching moment? Instead of trying to "convince" them, make a deal that if they want to keep it (i.e. if it has enough value to them), they need to "pay" (either through actual cash or by some sort of chore) for the increases and/or a portion of the bill. You can incorporate this into the concepts of a household budget, inflation, and prioritization.

Just a thought!

 

[Tygerlilly]

A lot of us don't like being told what to do, even when it's in our best interest.

I'm dealing with this so much with my mom. She just can not wrap her head around the fact that she can't spend what she used to when my dad was alive and working. She has a fixed income. She has a set amount of bills. But she constantly spends on nonsense and I have to figure out how to cover whatever bill is coming up that she can't because she spent money I told her not to.

 

[afan]

I'm dealing with this so much with my mom. She just can not wrap her head around the fact that she can't spend what she used to when my dad was alive and working. She has a fixed income. She has a set amount of bills. But she constantly spends on nonsense and I have to figure out how to cover whatever bill is coming up that she can't because she spent money I told her not to.

Sorry for that and am at least glad my mom doesn't do that. But she got scammed and lied about it so I watch her accounts more. But it took a lot to get to that point and it got worse after I thought she had stopped. So I've had to let go of that guilt and anger that she's trusting others and not me and that I didn't force things sooner.

They should really teach us how to deal with aging parents and this stuff. Even asking the person at DSHS didn't get me anywhere, there's nowhere she could direct me for help on how to handle it.

 

[firefly_ris]

Have you thought about turning this into a financial teaching moment? Instead of trying to "convince" them, make a deal that if they want to keep it (i.e. if it has enough value to them), they need to "pay" (either through actual cash or by some sort of chore) for the increases and/or a portion of the bill. You can incorporate this into the concepts of a household budget, inflation, and prioritization.

Just a thought!

Good idea. My 14 year old pays me for his Spotify premium subscription which costs $12/month. Probably a good time to start talking through this stuff with my youngest.

 

[Twilghtsprkle]

We actually talked the other day and canceled our legacy bundle. We never watch Hulu and rarely ESPN+. I'm pretty sure they really only watched Bluey on Disney+ and honestly, I can put the Bluey channel on YouTube and they would be happy. It's $27/month I just don't need to spend. I also stopped our Max sub for a little while, so that was $10/month. I'm keeping YouTube TV and Netflix because we watch them both daily. And I'm debating on my $12/month Crunchyroll one. I really should pause it for a month or two and just watch what's on Netflix, but I'm in the middle of a series on it so... I don't know. We get Paramount free thru Walmart+, which we get free because DH works for Walmart.

Can you downgrade Crunchyroll to the $7.99 tier? If you don’t need offline viewing, it’s fine.