Debt Dumpers 2025

[428mom]

Week 4 update. I had Monday off for the holiday then we had Tuesday and Wednesday because it was SO cold here. Thankfully the next couple weeks should be full paycheck weeks for me and I can pay more on our credit card. I was able to make a $750 payment on that so it should be under $2,000 on the next pay period! Not much other to report then putting my weekly $96 into savings.

Finance

• Pay off $3500 credit card- $832/3500
• Add $5,000 to our emergency fund $384/5000 ( my math was wrong last week)

I hope everyone is staying warm/safe this week!

 

[Tygerlilly]

Next step is to look in to some form of carers or moving him to supported living of some sort but he is rather stubborn so I don't think anyone is looking forward to those conversations. And the first step to accessing services requires the GP so not sure how that is going to go

Sending you all the support I can for this. Getting my mom to *finally* move into the assisted living apartment was the hardest thing to ever convince her to do, but it really is the best thing for her, even if she still doesn't really see it. It will be a tough battle, but hopefully he sees the benefits and comes around to it.

 

[pblack]

Thank you for this. Yes, we tried YT TV. I remember DW didn't like the layout of it becuase the channels weren't in numerical order and weren't the same as the cable package we were used to. So she had trouble finding what shows/channels she wanted. So she didn't like it. We might try it again though to see if it's cheaper than Spectrum was. And we also tried the free trial of Friendly. It was like $6 at the time. But we had enough streaming that we didn't find it necessary because we only watch Hallmark during Christmas season.

This was definitely an adjustment for us when we switched. Helpful tip- on the web version of YouTube tv you can customize your channel list. So you can remove any stations you don't want and you can also reorganize them into whatever order you want. It's a tedious process, but it helped us out tremendously. Is it still a bit more effort than typing in a channel number? Yeah, but it's not that bad once you get past the learning curve.

 

[Nettlelondon]

Sending you all the support I can for this. Getting my mom to *finally* move into the assisted living apartment was the hardest thing to ever convince her to do, but it really is the best thing for her, even if she still doesn't really see it. It will be a tough battle, but hopefully he sees the benefits and comes around to it.

Last night DH went to stay with him for the night, SIL popped in on her way home from dinner and ended up staying as well. They called the out of hours medical service who said a clinician would call back in an hour. 10 hours later they are still waiting as the service is overwhelmed with RSV, flu, COVID, Norovirus and a 1000 other winter issues (some of which are reducing the numbers of staff available). They are hoping that he will end up being taken to hospital today as he can't stand - after a minute or so he just collapses in a heap and as he is quite heavy he can't easily be helped back up again.

His latest blood tests are rather worrying - SIL trained in biomedical science and so properly understands what the numbers show, which has been great at times helping me understand my blood tests during my cancer treatment but does mean that at times she has knowledge she would rather not have. FIL has got long term kidney and heart problems so it is hardly surprising that two weeks of being in bed, not eating much at all and definitely not drinking anywhere near enough, is having a detrimental effect.

I am now trying to work out how often to message DH asking if there is any update - I don't want to badger, and I am sure he would let me know if something had changed, but I don't want him to think I have forgotten about him / don't care!

 

[Nettlelondon]

Eventually FIL ended up in hospital, various tests including a CT scan, and finally someone listened to DH and SIL that he can't stand. Doctor got him out of bed to stand up and after about 30 seconds he began to collapse! At last they were believed!

They are keeping him in which is great and have actually managed to find him a bed on a ward, rather than in Accident & Emergency. At the moment there is a huge shortage of proper ward beds thanks to long term issues within the health service compounded by the usual winter illnesses so for him to actually get one that quickly is really good.

 

[Tygerlilly]

Eventually FIL ended up in hospital, various tests including a CT scan, and finally someone listened to DH and SIL that he can't stand. Doctor got him out of bed to stand up and after about 30 seconds he began to collapse! At last they were believed!

They are keeping him in which is great and have actually managed to find him a bed on a ward, rather than in Accident & Emergency. At the moment there is a huge shortage of proper ward beds thanks to long term issues within the health service compounded by the usual winter illnesses so for him to actually get one that quickly is really good.

Glad someone finally is taking it seriously. Hopefully you'll start getting some answers.

 

[barkley]

finally someone listened to DH and SIL that he can't stand. Doctor got him out of bed to stand up and after about 30 seconds he began to collapse! At last they were believed!

this frustrates me to no end. I truly wish doctors that work with older patients would figure out that not all adult children are trying to mislead/exagerate their parent's symptoms/limitations b/c that seems to be a prevailing attitude. I get the concern on the doctor's part but maybe consider that how a patient is presenting IN FRONT of the doctor is not how they are presenting day to day/hour to hour, and the patient may be misleading the doctor. I had a friend whose mom was VERY unstable and could not walk unassisted yet when friend would take her to the doctor she would deny, deny, deny. finally at an appointment when the doctor asked the mom if she could walk unassisted x number of feet and the mom replied 'yes' the daughter said 'prove it, doctor make her prove it because she can't'. doctor did a double take and then told the mom to just rise from the exam table and walk to the chair across the room-she could'nt make it. when my mom was showing signs of dementia I got frustrated b/c the questions the doctor would use did not demonstrate her losses at all-'who is the president of the u.s.? what day is it today? what's the weather like today?...' ummmmmmm she has the news channel on 24/7 so she would hear the president's name constantly, the top of the hour reminder of what the day/date was as well as the current local forecast. ask her what her kid's names are, what meds she takes, did she eat breakfast today/what-that will give you an idea of some of the deficits that are impacting her life.

best wishes to you, hope your fil gets the attention he needs/you and your family get the peace of mind that he's being well cared for and safe.

 

[Nettlelondon]

The hospital he is in is involved in a programme to identify early signs of frailty so that potential fallers can be spotted early and supported so that they don't become fallers, and various other bits and pieces to stop issues becoming worse. He was assessed just before Christmas as a 6, but is now a 7. The scale only goes to 9 ... One of the people he saw yesterday was a specialist frailty nurse so hopefully that will lead to some action.

Lsst night DH slept for 9 hours, hardly moved - the best sleep he has had in weeks. A combination of exhaustion and knowing that his dad was safe. Absolute bliss.

 

[Tygerlilly]

I get the concern on the doctor's part but maybe consider that how a patient is presenting IN FRONT of the doctor is not how they are presenting day to day/hour to hour, and the patient may be misleading the doctor.

Yes this 100%! I took my mom to her most recent appointment (because I refuse to let her drive while still having dizzy spells). She was leaving out a good bit of information while talking to him and not getting the correct referrals for things like Home Health and neurologist appointments. I know she was not being truthful and all that was doing was not getting her the help she needed. And of course, unless I'm there, they won't speak to me on the phone about my concerns with her problems.

 

[ruadisneyfan2]

The hospital he is in is involved in a programme to identify early signs of frailty so that potential fallers can be spotted early and supported so that they don't become fallers, and various other bits and pieces to stop issues becoming worse. He was assessed just before Christmas as a 6, but is now a 7. The scale only goes to 9 ... One of the people he saw yesterday was a specialist frailty nurse so hopefully that will lead to some action.

Lsst night DH slept for 9 hours, hardly moved - the best sleep he has had in weeks. A combination of exhaustion and knowing that his dad was safe. Absolute bliss.

Peace of mind is priceless. I hope things start improving.

 

[pblack]

Almost end of January update

2025 Goals (subject to change):

Financial -
[ ] Get home equity loan down to $20k - Currently sitting at ~$24,100. I'm paid ahead by a couple months on this and I may need to skip my February payment to pay off our May cruise that's due at the end of February. Undecided though, we'll see what happens.
[ ] Pay off new ipad purchase ($860) - I believe this is currently at $800 and I plan to pay another $100 at the end of the week.
[ ] Add $4k to emergency savings to get us to our 6 months saving goal - Only auto contributions have contributed to this so far. $375/$4000.


Personal -
[ ] Exercise - get my body moving. Stay focused on eating healthier. Stay focused on getting more protein in my day. - Did pretty good with moving my body at least 4 times a week, except for last week when we were on vacation. Already got a walk in at work today and have hopes of getting in another movement session when I get home. I do need to research some more protein packed meals though. I'm also going to aim for workouts/movement M-F because I just know I won't do much on the weekends.
[ ] Replace our patio cover - No progress
[ ] Build new fence in our side yard, level out the dirt, get a storage shed. (May or may not utilize 0% balance transfers depending on costs). - No progress, but I have hopes of starting to clean up and prep the area over the next month if the sunshine sticks around.

As I mentioned above, we were on vacation last week. It was our first time sailing on Royal Caribbean (primarily sail on Carnival) and it was definitely a different experience. Some things we liked more, other things we didn't. Overall we enjoyed it and I would like to go on one of their newer/massive ships to see if we like it any better. I think we both still prefer Carnival overall though. But it was only our first time on Royal, so we'll see what happens. Thanks to OBC and a specialty dinner from our TA we really only spent just over $200 out of pocket on board. (Not counting cash I spent in the casino or in ports.) We do have a 3-day Carnival cruise planned for May for a friend's 50th birthday.

Surprisingly my W2 was ready in my work portal already (my employer is notorious for waiting until the 31st), so I was able to plug our numbers into HR Block. Thankfully we appear to be getting a refund this year. Not a ton of money, but it's better than owing money like we did last year.

Other than that no major or exciting updates for me. I really need to look into getting our internet bill cheaper and possibly switching up our cell phone carrier. Just trying to find small ways of saving some money on "necessities" since everything seems to be going up in price and I expect it to continue. I'm not trying to be a fear prepper or even fall into all the conspiracy stuff going on, but everything I keep seeing on TikTok or news sites makes me think I need to be more prepared for things than I am.

 

[Tygerlilly]

I'm not trying to be a fear prepper or even fall into all the conspiracy stuff going on, but everything I keep seeing on TikTok or news sites makes me think I need to be more prepared for things than I am.

I try not to go too far "off the deep end", but I've seriously been paying more attention to some of what people are prepping and stocking up on. It's really made me think of what we don't have in the house should an emergency or shtf situation. I've compiled a list of things to slowly stock up on (pantry items, batteries, flashlights/candles/oil lamps, personal items) when I see them on sale or used for decent price.

One other thing I've been putting off but have decided to invest in is a combo hunting/fishing license. I've been thinking about it for a while and it's something I think will be useful to have.

 

[piglet1979]

I get the concern on the doctor's part but maybe consider that how a patient is presenting IN FRONT of the doctor is not how they are presenting day to day/hour to hour, and the patient may be misleading the doctor.

when my mom was showing signs of dementia I got frustrated b/c the questions the doctor would use did not demonstrate her losses at all-'who is the president of the u.s.? what day is it today? what's the weather like today?.

I agree 100%. I have taken DH's grandmother to the doctor and she won't tell the whole truth and when I question things it doesn't go anywhere. She has memory issues but can answer you on the day of the week, president and all that so they think she is fine. Ask her anything else and she doesn't know. She is in the hospital right now and we can't get all the information. They keep talking to her and telling her what is going on and think she understands it but won't call use to keep us in the loop. DH is on the contact list too. It is all so frustrating.

 

[Nettlelondon]

Sorry to be back once again with non-debt dumping issues but I need a "safe space" to rant. The hospital are now saying that his confusion is "just" dementia, not medical and that we just haven't noticed. I am sorry - the man was doing the most difficult level of sudoku's in his daily paper and the various crosswords and word puzzles just a couple of weeks ago and now he is seeing spiders and strange mists and struggles to know his own name.

Aaarrrgggghhhh!

But they have done a chest x-ray this morning which shows signs of infection.

DH has been to his house today to empty the fresh stuff out of the refrigerator and turn the heating down (there, that is budget related ) as when they left the other day there wasn't time to think of things like that. As a result we have sausages, bacon & eggs for tomorrow.

 

[sandam1]

Sorry to be back once again with non-debt dumping issues but I need a "safe space" to rant. The hospital are now saying that his confusion is "just" dementia, not medical and that we just haven't noticed. I am sorry - the man was doing the most difficult level of sudoku's in his daily paper and the various crosswords and word puzzles just a couple of weeks ago and now he is seeing spiders and strange mists and struggles to know his own name.

Just to throw something out there - have you had a pharmacist take a look at his prescriptions? That was the first thing that came to mind when reading about such a drastic change.

 

[newski_mom]

Just to throw something out there - have you had a pharmacist take a look at his prescriptions? That was the first thing that came to mind when reading about such a drastic change.

I wondered about this as well. My MIL had issues with 2 of her prescriptions being taken together. She could remember things, but was convinced that there were squirrels and birds in her bedroom and house.

 

[StitchesGr8Fan]

Sorry to be back once again with non-debt dumping issues but I need a "safe space" to rant. The hospital are now saying that his confusion is "just" dementia, not medical and that we just haven't noticed. I am sorry - the man was doing the most difficult level of sudoku's in his daily paper and the various crosswords and word puzzles just a couple of weeks ago and now he is seeing spiders and strange mists and struggles to know his own name.

Aaarrrgggghhhh!

But they have done a chest x-ray this morning which shows signs of infection.

DH has been to his house today to empty the fresh stuff out of the refrigerator and turn the heating down (there, that is budget related ) as when they left the other day there wasn't time to think of things like that. As a result we have sausages, bacon & eggs for tomorrow.

They are trying to find a reason to release him. I’ve been through that with my father.

 

[DisneyMandC]

Sorry to be back once again with non-debt dumping issues but I need a "safe space" to rant. The hospital are now saying that his confusion is "just" dementia, not medical and that we just haven't noticed. I am sorry - the man was doing the most difficult level of sudoku's in his daily paper and the various crosswords and word puzzles just a couple of weeks ago and now he is seeing spiders and strange mists and struggles to know his own name.

Aaarrrgggghhhh!

But they have done a chest x-ray this morning which shows signs of infection.

DH has been to his house today to empty the fresh stuff out of the refrigerator and turn the heating down (there, that is budget related ) as when they left the other day there wasn't time to think of things like that. As a result we have sausages, bacon & eggs for tomorrow.

Have they checked him for a UTI? Very common UTI behavior in the elderly, and often the UTI doesn't present a lot of the normal symptoms either. Sorry you're dealing with this, I feel your frustration. I help care for my grandma since my dad died several years ago. She is overwhelmingly very cognizant but is terrible about following medical advice/prescription instructions. She likes to take a medicine until she thinks she's better and then stop. Or she'll refuse to use a day of the week pill container and then sit there and wonder if she's taken her heart medication.

 

[firefly_ris]

Just to throw something out there - have you had a pharmacist take a look at his prescriptions? That was the first thing that came to mind when reading about such a drastic change.

I second that... my otherwise sharp-minded grandmother called me one day asking me all sorts of bizarre questions, telling me there were horses running down her (busy semi-urban) street, a little girl was stealing things and hiding under her sofa -- she accidentally took the wrong dose of a new prescription. She was also very medication-sensitive.

I've heard UTI can cause cognitive issues too like @DisneyMandC mentioned.

 

[barkley]

Sorry to be back once again with non-debt dumping issues but I need a "safe space" to rant. The hospital are now saying that his confusion is "just" dementia, not medical and that we just haven't noticed. I am sorry - the man was doing the most difficult level of sudoku's in his daily paper and the various crosswords and word puzzles just a couple of weeks ago and now he is seeing spiders and strange mists and struggles to know his own name.

Aaarrrgggghhhh!

But they have done a chest x-ray this morning which shows signs of infection.

DH has been to his house today to empty the fresh stuff out of the refrigerator and turn the heating down (there, that is budget related ) as when they left the other day there wasn't time to think of things like that. As a result we have sausages, bacon & eggs for tomorrow.

vent away-this thread is one of the most supportive, sympathetic and encouraging on a wide variety of topics that I've ever encountered. VERY caring people.

Just to throw something out there - have you had a pharmacist take a look at his prescriptions? That was the first thing that came to mind when reading about such a drastic change.

we had this issue with my mom. I just assumed all her doctors knew which meds others were prescribing but nope (mine do b/c they are all in the same medical provider group). I ended up going through all the meds and making a list then went w/her to one of each of her provider appointments to provide them with a list. I have also found that if you can use a smaller local pharmacy (yup, we still have them around us) vs. mail-order or the mega pharmacies/grocery store ones they tend to pay a bit more attention to what is being prescribed and if given a scrip that will not interact well with another pre-existing will call the doctor and give them a heads up.

Have they checked him for a UTI? Very common UTI behavior in the elderly, and often the UTI doesn't present a lot of the normal symptoms either.

I thought immediately of this-both my mom and mil had instances of this and when given something to clear up the infection had their mental symptoms greatly improve.

She is overwhelmingly very cognizant but is terrible about following medical advice/prescription instructions

w/meds there are some very cool pill dispensers now that have alarms to let the patient know when to take the meds AND can do wireless notifications to YOUR cell phone and email to report the meds have or have NOT be taken. they also alert if the container has not been opened in certain number of hours. I've also read of ones that emergency medical response can access data from to see what amounts of prescribed meds a patients has/has not taken.