Debt Dumpers - 2015

[bcwife76]

I have been there before. Continue to actively seek something new and eventually something WILL come along. I worked in a very toxic work place before. Everyone complained, but no one left. I was the first to take the leap and jump ship and my life improved dramatically. Somehow get yourself into the mindset that 1. This is just a job, not your life 2. This is only temporary and 3. You have a awesome family to come home to. Things always work out, it just takes time.

This is good advice. I, too, was 'stuck' in a job that I HATED. It was such a toxic environment, office morale was constantly going down down down. When I finally got a way out I took it and now I have vowed NEVER to be in another job that I despise because life is too short.

something amazing will come your way, keep your head above water and keep on swimming til you are out of that job and into something much better.

 

[PrincessKymm]

A little off topic, but I need some encouragement today guys. Had a really tough day at work, I basically cried the entire day in my office. I'm contacting a lot of people I know from my former job about trying to find another job, as my field rarely posts jobs online or anything, but I feel like I can barely take another day at my job. I know I can't just quit, and I know that you should never quit a job until you have another one lined up, but it's really tough when you're in tears every day over your job. DH said I could quit at the end of the month if I wanted, but I know I can't do that to us. DH makes good money, and I could get an hourly job in my field that would pay decently, but it wouldn't look great on my resume and DH doesn't make enough to support us indefinitely. The worst part is, I could've stayed at my last job, which I LOVED, for another year. Significantly lower pay, but it was a great job and a lot of fun.

And then, of course, I got my updated student loan payment schedule at the end of the day. It was way higher than I thought, but it turns out they made in error in changing my plan, so it's back to where it should be now. Just continue dumping away into that.

Sorry for the off topic post, sometimes you just have to vent. I am very thankful for DH who brought home starbucks, mexican food, and ice cream for dinner for me.

I hear you! If your DH is willing to support you while you look, leave. Do it. Seriously? Yes I'm serious. If you're unsure, can you take a few days off from work to think about it? Remove that stress and see how you feel.

I'm in the same situation except I'm the sole supporter of me and DS13. I do get child support but it wouldn't even come close to covering our rent let alone the other bills.

Every day I bargain with myself to get out of bed and be presentable. Then I go to work and come home and almost immediately pour a glass of wine and then I cry. Some days I can't make it til I get home, those days are awful. I'm currently searching and it's a hard and slow process but seriously, if this sounds like you then leave. No job is worth this kind of stress. My DS is worth it tho and that's why I stay. He is the only reason I can do this.

Can you get a job, even part time, elsewhere? It would help stretch out your time to look for something you do want. I've come close to quitting and just temping until I've found something I like but I can't lose my health insurance for DS. Not only would I lose child support but his health problems would send me spiraling back into bankruptcy.

When you don't have this pressure it's much easier to quit! So do it. Save your sanity and do something for yourself.

 

[gracie1]

I hear you! If your DH is willing to support you while you look, leave. Do it. Seriously? Yes I'm serious. If you're unsure, can you take a few days off from work to think about it? Remove that stress and see how you feel.

I'm in the same situation except I'm the sole supporter of me and DS13. I do get child support but it wouldn't even come close to covering our rent let alone the other bills.

Every day I bargain with myself to get out of bed and be presentable. Then I go to work and come home and almost immediately pour a glass of wine and then I cry. Some days I can't make it til I get home, those days are awful. I'm currently searching and it's a hard and slow process but seriously, if this sounds like you then leave. No job is worth this kind of stress. My DS is worth it tho and that's why I stay. He is the only reason I can do this.

Can you get a job, even part time, elsewhere? It would help stretch out your time to look for something you do want. I've come close to quitting and just temping until I've found something I like but I can't lose my health insurance for DS. Not only would I lose child support but his health problems would send me spiraling back into bankruptcy.

When you don't have this pressure it's much easier to quit! So do it. Save your sanity and do something for yourself.

Very well put!! I do hope you find something better soon!

 

[DisneyMandC]

I have been there before. Continue to actively seek something new and eventually something WILL come along. I worked in a very toxic work place before. Everyone complained, but no one left. I was the first to take the leap and jump ship and my life improved dramatically. Somehow get yourself into the mindset that 1. This is just a job, not your life 2. This is only temporary and 3. You have a awesome family to come home to. Things always work out, it just takes time.

Thank you, I am very fortunate to have DH. I have a friend in a similar job situation having a tough time and feel awful that she does not have someone to come home to.

How about looking for another job even if it's not within the company that your at? I left my job after 14 years there last April. Within 4 months of their new mgmt it was so horrible that I cried, couldn't eat and my hands would just shake from nerves. It was a salary position with paid health benefits and excellent vacation. I left it for an hourly job with no benefits or vacation. But you know what - I'm happy!! My health was even declining there!! I've gotten my own health insurance policy and just learned to cut costs wherever possible. Even if you find something else that would pay less - run the numbers with what your dh brings home and see if you can survive or where you might be able to cut some costs. Sounds like you have a great dh - and remember if you stay at a job causing the stress and emotion your experiencing everyone else will start to experience it too. Your happiness and health comes first!!

I'm looking outside where I'm currently at, I work for the government so I'm trying to move to the private sector. I definitely don't mind making less, I had a big jump in salary from my last job to this job and so I know we can live on less no problem. DH even said last night as long as I'm making what I was or more in the last job, which should be no problem to find, then we will be fine. Just need to find it.

 

[DisneyMandC]

This is good advice. I, too, was 'stuck' in a job that I HATED. It was such a toxic environment, office morale was constantly going down down down. When I finally got a way out I took it and now I have vowed NEVER to be in another job that I despise because life is too short.

something amazing will come your way, keep your head above water and keep on swimming til you are out of that job and into something much better.

Very well put!! I do hope you find something better soon!

thank you both! DH keeps trying to tell me it's not me and not to take it personally, but it's just tough.

I hear you! If your DH is willing to support you while you look, leave. Do it. Seriously? Yes I'm serious. If you're unsure, can you take a few days off from work to think about it? Remove that stress and see how you feel.

I'm in the same situation except I'm the sole supporter of me and DS13. I do get child support but it wouldn't even come close to covering our rent let alone the other bills.

Every day I bargain with myself to get out of bed and be presentable. Then I go to work and come home and almost immediately pour a glass of wine and then I cry. Some days I can't make it til I get home, those days are awful. I'm currently searching and it's a hard and slow process but seriously, if this sounds like you then leave. No job is worth this kind of stress. My DS is worth it tho and that's why I stay. He is the only reason I can do this.

Can you get a job, even part time, elsewhere? It would help stretch out your time to look for something you do want. I've come close to quitting and just temping until I've found something I like but I can't lose my health insurance for DS. Not only would I lose child support but his health problems would send me spiraling back into bankruptcy.

When you don't have this pressure it's much easier to quit! So do it. Save your sanity and do something for yourself.

I'm almost to this point. I just feel bad doing that to us. I mean, we just bought a house. And DH's paycheck could pay the mortgage, but I don't want to put that on us. I could pick up an hourly job, but I'm at the beginning of my career and just worry it would really negatively impact me to do something like that. We'll see. I slept 4 hours last night, cried the other 4, woke up crying, and sobbed on DH's shoulder before leaving for work. I had four days off last week for Thanksgiving, and I know I feel immensely better what I'm not at work, but even then it was like I still had that anxiety about work in the back of my mind that would just randomly peak. I was NEVER like this at my last job. I talked with my mom last night too and she recommended some more people for me to contact about jobs that I hadn't thought of, so I'm going to touch base with them. And I'm going to a networking event tonight. I know I've got a lot of people looking out for me, which is a great feeling, but I just really need something to open up ASAP. It's just tough, and I hate feeling like this. I know I should be grateful to have a job, but I don't know how I'm supposed to live like this.

Thank you all for the help and kindness. I'm going to keep plugging along and hope something opens up soon.

 

[stayhomemom77]

Hugs DisneyMandC!

I've been in a rotten job before but I did love my coworkers which made it bearable. I agree with PP that you can't sacrifice your health (mental or otherwise) for a job...especially when you have DH's blessing to quit right away while you find something new.

Perhaps you can give yourself a deadline? Like, I can take three more weeks of this (or whatever) and then I'm quitting whether I have a new job or not. If you have an end date in sight...it might make that little bit of difference.

I'm glad your mom gave you some more leads for contacts and I wish you very good luck on a speedy job find.

 

[DisneyMandC]

Hugs DisneyMandC!

I've been in a rotten job before but I did love my coworkers which made it bearable. I agree with PP that you can't sacrifice your health (mental or otherwise) for a job...especially when you have DH's blessing to quit right away while you find something new.

Perhaps you can give yourself a deadline? Like, I can take three more weeks of this (or whatever) and then I'm quitting whether I have a new job or not. If you have an end date in sight...it might make that little bit of difference.

I'm glad your mom gave you some more leads for contacts and I wish you very good luck on a speedy job find.

Thank you so much. I'm about to call DH on my lunch break and talk with him some more. My boss informed me this morning that I was singlehandedly ruining the integrity of our office because I had a typo in one of my memos. So I think I might be done for real.

 

[bcwife76]

Thank you so much. I'm about to call DH on my lunch break and talk with him some more. My boss informed me this morning that I was singlehandedly ruining the integrity of our office because I had a typo in one of my memos. So I think I might be done for real.

What?? Seriously??

nononononononono that is NOT acceptable. Now your boss is just being a complete a$$hat! I'm so sorry

 

[DisneyMandC]

I discussed it with DH and I really think she's going to fire me. Or at least, she's definitely looking for ways to get rid of me. I'm going to go home tonight and think about it, but I think I woull be significantly better off to just resign rather than let her fire me. At least then I don't have to tell potential employers I was fired. I spoke with my mom as well who thinks I should ask my boss point blank if she'd like me to resign. Any thoughts on that? I've never had to leave a position before as my last job was a term position so it just came to its natural end. I really don't even know how to go about this.

I just had a contact email me back and say he thought his company was looking to hire, so I'm hoping I'll hit on something there.

 

[SureAsLiz]

I discussed it with DH and I really think she's going to fire me. Or at least, she's definitely looking for ways to get rid of me. I'm going to go home tonight and think about it, but I think I woull be significantly better off to just resign rather than let her fire me. At least then I don't have to tell potential employers I was fired. I spoke with my mom as well who thinks I should ask my boss point blank if she'd like me to resign. Any thoughts on that? I've never had to leave a position before as my last job was a term position so it just came to its natural end. I really don't even know how to go about this.

I just had a contact email me back and say he thought his company was looking to hire, so I'm hoping I'll hit on something there.

I can't provide any firsthand experience, but you might want to take a few moments to search through http://www.askamanager.org/

It's a great resource for pretty much any and everything work related and there might be some tips for what to do in situations like this

 

[DisneyMandC]

I can't provide any firsthand experience, but you might want to take a few moments to search through http://www.askamanager.org/

It's a great resource for pretty much any and everything work related and there might be some tips for what to do in situations like this

Thank you so much! Never heard of that website before, but I am definitely reading through it now.

 

[Ava]

I discussed it with DH and I really think she's going to fire me. Or at least, she's definitely looking for ways to get rid of me. I'm going to go home tonight and think about it, but I think I woull be significantly better off to just resign rather than let her fire me. At least then I don't have to tell potential employers I was fired. I spoke with my mom as well who thinks I should ask my boss point blank if she'd like me to resign. Any thoughts on that? I've never had to leave a position before as my last job was a term position so it just came to its natural end. I really don't even know how to go about this.

I just had a contact email me back and say he thought his company was looking to hire, so I'm hoping I'll hit on something there.

It definitely sounds like she is trying to get you to resign, and/or create "cause" to fire you. You will be better off resigning, especially if she is planning to fire you based on whatever trumped up reasons she can come up with (like your memo with a typo). I would take your mom's advice and have a frank conversation with her about what's going on. Before you speak to her, have a plan in place - do you definitely want to resign, how long you will stay on, will you need a letter of recommendation, etc - so you know what you want to ask for and can drive the conversation.

Have you ever spoken to HR about the situation with your boss?

 

[DisneyMandC]

It definitely sounds like she is trying to get you to resign, and/or create "cause" to fire you. You will be better off resigning, especially if she is planning to fire you based on whatever trumped up reasons she can come up with (like your memo with a typo). I would take your mom's advice and have a frank conversation with her about what's going on. Before you speak to her, have a plan in place - do you definitely want to resign, how long you will stay on, will you need a letter of recommendation, etc - so you know what you want to ask for and can drive the conversation.

Have you ever spoken to HR about the situation with your boss?

I've not spoken with HR. I know that's an option, but I just don't think that would do much good and would probably create more problems, honestly. DH and I are sitting down tonight to discuss everything again. I definitely want to resign, and DH agrees with me that I need to before I am fired. I just need to make sure I have my ducks in a row. I doubt anyone in my field would ask for a letter of recommendation or reference from her. They would be much more likely to ask for a recommendation from my previous boss, and he has already told me he is more than happy to provide that.

I fortunately just received word from someone that their boss, who knows me, wants my resume immediately. So I'm putting that together and hoping that gets me out of here as soon as possible. Then when I resign I can just say I've received a better offer (if this comes through). Please keep your fingers crossed for me, everyone!

 

[kashzan]

What about unemployment insurance..If you resign I don't think you can collect. If fired you can. Hope it works out for you.

 

[DisneyMandC]

What about unemployment insurance..If you resign I don't think you can collect. If fired you can. Hope it works out for you.

I've thought about that as well, but ultimately I think the damage to credibility at having to say I was fired versus resigning would outweigh the benefits of unemployment. Plus, DH can support us briefly while I find another job, and I still have the hourly job available if I need it.

 

[Eureka]

I discussed it with DH and I really think she's going to fire me. Or at least, she's definitely looking for ways to get rid of me. I'm going to go home tonight and think about it, but I think I woull be significantly better off to just resign rather than let her fire me. At least then I don't have to tell potential employers I was fired. I spoke with my mom as well who thinks I should ask my boss point blank if she'd like me to resign. Any thoughts on that? I've never had to leave a position before as my last job was a term position so it just came to its natural end. I really don't even know how to go about this.

I just had a contact email me back and say he thought his company was looking to hire, so I'm hoping I'll hit on something there.

I may be wrong but in most places, there's a system of verbal reprimand, written reprimand and then firing. You can't just up and fire someone without proof that there's been a discussion about your performance first.

 

[gracie1]

Thank you so much. I'm about to call DH on my lunch break and talk with him some more. My boss informed me this morning that I was singlehandedly ruining the integrity of our office because I had a typo in one of my memos. So I think I might be done for real.

Oh my goodness - your boss sounds like the one that ran me out!! That is so weird!! My old boss called me a liar because I couldn't get an account set up and I actually did ask her why she had a problem with me and she just went off! It's a horrible situation to be in - I really feel for you. And I was off just like you for 4 days and had such stress and anxiety knowing I had to go back to that place. You definitely need to make a change. Let us know what you decide tonight after talking to your dh.

 

[gracie1]

So today I checked the mail and found out the person who stole my identity on November 6th was able to open an account with Sprint. Got a notice thanking me for my purchases so I had to call the fraud department. They were very nice and the lady told me that they have to file fraud paperwork and that in 7 days they will send me a letter saying I'm not responsible for anything. She said when she checked the account it raised a red flag to her that they got 2 phones on the line and never used them once. I guess they got them and maybe selling them on eBay? I wonder if they put a track on those phones for whoever buys them and tries to use them? Whoever stole my identity is in Ohio- that's where everything has originated.

 

[DisneyMandC]

I may be wrong but in most places, there's a system of verbal reprimand, written reprimand and then firing. You can't just up and fire someone without proof that there's been a discussion about your performance first.

I don't think that would be the case for me since I'm just a one year employee anyways. Plus, my state is pretty lax on at will employment anyways.

By the way, I hope you're feeling better after your surgery!

Oh my goodness - your boss sounds like the one that ran me out!! That is so weird!! My old boss called me a liar because I couldn't get an account set up and I actually did ask her why she had a problem with me and she just went off! It's a horrible situation to be in - I really feel for you. And I was off just like you for 4 days and had such stress and anxiety knowing I had to go back to that place. You definitely need to make a change. Let us know what you decide tonight after talking to your dh.

Thank you so much, I will! Now that I'm sending this resume out to someone that actually seems promising, I'm hoping that he will bring me in for an interview quickly and hire me, if he feels so inclined. Not to be pretentious or anything, but I know I am a strong candidate because they've hired multiple individuals out of the job I previously held, so I'm hoping that plus the recommendation from my last boss really carries some weight. I'm going to talk to DH tonight still, but I think my best course, if that seems likely after I send him my resume this evening, would be to hold out until I hear something concrete about that position and then give my notice here. Of course, I think if my boss tries to call me into her office tomorrow I will just head her off and resign, because I'm sure she'll be the type to fire me on a Friday afternoon.

Seriously, thank you all so much for your support. You guys are really great, and I definitely appreciate all of the help and concern. I hate to be a whiner and complain, but I just have never experienced anything like this, especially as it relates to my work, and it's very disheartening.

 

[Eureka]

I don't think that would be the case for me since I'm just a one year employee anyways. Plus, my state is pretty lax on at will employment anyways.

By the way, I hope you're feeling better after your surgery!

Thanks, I'm much better. Saw the surgeon yesterday and she said everything looks great. I "went" back to work this week...I say it that way bc I'm working at home all this week and next. Driving is a little sore, so a long commute wouldn't be a good thing right now.