Debt Dumpers - 2015

[dayvewc]

Well, I am again conflicted.

Heard from the ex-roommate beginning Friday asking if he could move back in. I told him that I would think about it and let him know either last night or today.

He kept texting me yesterday asking if I had decided, and I finally sent him a text this morning that after thinking, and considering, and weight options, I could not agree to him returning. That financially, I could not afford for him to be here without paying his way.

Shortly after that, he called and wanted to guilt me into letting him come back because his dad was about to kick him out of the house, and he would be stuck trying to live in his car on the street. I told him that was not what I wanted, but reiterated again that I could not afford for him to be here and not pay on the bills. I suggested that he sit down and talk to his dad and step-mom, and come to some sort of resolution or agreement.

3 hours later, he called back and said that he had talked to his parents, and they wanted him to call me and ask if this would be an acceptable arrangement: They will pay for his share of bills for the next 2 months, provide him with a little bit extra for gas and spending money while he searches for a job, with the understanding that if he is still unemployed by May 1, that the weather will be nice enough it would not be likely that he would freeze to death living in his car. I agreed that provided his full share of bills are covered, he could come back and look for a job, but if he is still unemployed in 2 months, he has to leave; he's used up all his "second chances", and I won't pay for him any longer.

Honestly, I'd prefer him to not be here, but the guaranteed $1200 from his dad for the bills over the next 2 months will pay about 25% of my last credit card. And if he has changed, and does get a job, then the added bill money will actually have me debt free (except for mortgages) before the end of the year, and a nice security cushion as well.

I guess we will see what actually occurs. But I love that I feel I can share on this board. I know my life story isn't specifically about dumping debt, but being able to dump it is tied up with having a paying roommate.

PS. I've also made it clear that his payments for the house bills are solely for the house bills. If he gets a job and is willing to save money to pay for vacation, he is welcome to come with me when I go, but that I will NOT be paying for him to vacation with me. If he wants to overpay the house bills, then I will save the extra for him for vacation his vacations.

 

[Pumbaa_]

I sincerely hope you do not regret this decision

 

[dayvewc]

I sincerely hope you do not regret this decision

Thanks, so do I.

 

[ctinct]

Well, I am again conflicted.

Heard from the ex-roommate beginning Friday asking if he could move back in. I told him that I would think about it and let him know either last night or today.

He kept texting me yesterday asking if I had decided, and I finally sent him a text this morning that after thinking, and considering, and weight options, I could not agree to him returning. That financially, I could not afford for him to be here without paying his way.

Shortly after that, he called and wanted to guilt me into letting him come back because his dad was about to kick him out of the house, and he would be stuck trying to live in his car on the street. I told him that was not what I wanted, but reiterated again that I could not afford for him to be here and not pay on the bills. I suggested that he sit down and talk to his dad and step-mom, and come to some sort of resolution or agreement.

3 hours later, he called back and said that he had talked to his parents, and they wanted him to call me and ask if this would be an acceptable arrangement: They will pay for his share of bills for the next 2 months, provide him with a little bit extra for gas and spending money while he searches for a job, with the understanding that if he is still unemployed by May 1, that the weather will be nice enough it would not be likely that he would freeze to death living in his car. I agreed that provided his full share of bills are covered, he could come back and look for a job, but if he is still unemployed in 2 months, he has to leave; he's used up all his "second chances", and I won't pay for him any longer.

Honestly, I'd prefer him to not be here, but the guaranteed $1200 from his dad for the bills over the next 2 months will pay about 25% of my last credit card. And if he has changed, and does get a job, then the added bill money will actually have me debt free (except for mortgages) before the end of the year, and a nice security cushion as well.

I guess we will see what actually occurs. But I love that I feel I can share on this board. I know my life story isn't specifically about dumping debt, but being able to dump it is tied up with having a paying roommate.

PS. I've also made it clear that his payments for the house bills are solely for the house bills. If he gets a job and is willing to save money to pay for vacation, he is welcome to come with me when I go, but that I will NOT be paying for him to vacation with me. If he wants to overpay the house bills, then I will save the extra for him for vacation his vacations.

Oh, my. This may be my first time posting to debt dumpers. I'm not sure, but I have been reading along, including all of last year.

Please don't do this! There are red flags all over the place. Why are his parents willing to pay for him yo live either you, but not willing to let him stay with him? Danger, danger Will Robinson!

Well, I am again conflicted.

Heard from the ex-roommate beginning Friday asking if he could move back in. I told him that I would think about it and let him know either last night or today.

He kept texting me yesterday asking if I had decided, and I finally sent him a text this morning that after thinking, and considering, and weight options, I could not agree to him returning. That financially, I could not afford for him to be here without paying his way.

Shortly after that, he called and wanted to guilt me into letting him come back because his dad was about to kick him out of the house, and he would be stuck trying to live in his car on the street. I told him that was not what I wanted, but reiterated again that I could not afford for him to be here and not pay on the bills. I suggested that he sit down and talk to his dad and step-mom, and come to some sort of resolution or agreement.

3 hours later, he called back and said that he had talked to his parents, and they wanted him to call me and ask if this would be an acceptable arrangement: They will pay for his share of bills for the next 2 months, provide him with a little bit extra for gas and spending money while he searches for a job, with the understanding that if he is still unemployed by May 1, that the weather will be nice enough it would not be likely that he would freeze to death living in his car. I agreed that provided his full share of bills are covered, he could come back and look for a job, but if he is still unemployed in 2 months, he has to leave; he's used up all his "second chances", and I won't pay for him any longer.

Honestly, I'd prefer him to not be here, but the guaranteed $1200 from his dad for the bills over the next 2 months will pay about 25% of my last credit card. And if he has changed, and does get a job, then the added bill money will actually have me debt free (except for mortgages) before the end of the year, and a nice security cushion as well.

I guess we will see what actually occurs. But I love that I feel I can share on this board. I know my life story isn't specifically about dumping debt, but being able to dump it is tied up with having a paying roommate.

PS. I've also made it clear that his payments for the house bills are solely for the house bills. If he gets a job and is willing to save money to pay for vacation, he is welcome to come with me when I go, but that I will NOT be paying for him to vacation with me. If he wants to overpay the house bills, then I will save the extra for him for vacation his vacations.

I think this may be the first time I have posted on the debt dumper thread, although I have been reading all along, including all of last year.

Please don't do this! There are red flags all over the place. Danger, danger, Will Robinson!

Why would his parents be willing to pay for him to live with you, but not willing to have him live with them? Will the money come directly to you, or are they giving it to him? Him living in his car is not your problem. It may even force him to actually, you know, grow up and get a job. I see you feeling guilty and going a lot of rationalizing. This guy is trouble with an upper case T, and he is using you. Do not answer his texts, do not answer his phone calls. Do not engage at all. He is a master manipulator.

That said, do you have an extra room that you could rent out to someone who is responsible and could actually pay rent? It's not clear to me if you do, because I know you two had a relationship, so I'm not sure if you have an extra room or not.if you do, that I'd one option to help pay down your debt.

Just say no. That's all. No. Nothing else. Not maybe, not well....., not we will see if we can make it work. No. No. No.

 

[ctinct]

Sorry for the double stuff. I'm not sure what happened. I went back to edit and delete, and it doesn't show on the message to edit. Weird.

 

[Dentam]

Oh, my. This may be my first time posting to debt dumpers. I'm not sure, but I have been reading along, including all of last year.

Please don't do this! There are red flags all over the place. Why are his parents willing to pay for him yo live either you, but not willing to let him stay with him? Danger, danger Will Robinson!



I think this may be the first time I have posted on the debt dumper thread, although I have been reading all along, including all of last year.

Please don't do this! There are red flags all over the place. Danger, danger, Will Robinson!

Why would his parents be willing to pay for him to live with you, but not willing to have him live with them? Will the money come directly to you, or are they giving it to him? Him living in his car is not your problem. It may even force him to actually, you know, grow up and get a job. I see you feeling guilty and going a lot of rationalizing. This guy is trouble with an upper case T, and he is using you. Do not answer his texts, do not answer his phone calls. Do not engage at all. He is a master manipulator.

That said, do you have an extra room that you could rent out to someone who is responsible and could actually pay rent? It's not clear to me if you do, because I know you two had a relationship, so I'm not sure if you have an extra room or not.if you do, that I'd one option to help pay down your debt.

Just say no. That's all. No. Nothing else. Not maybe, not well....., not we will see if we can make it work. No. No. No.

I agree with all of this - and how old is this guy?? I would be seriously shocked if he changed at all. It seems you would just be adding another chapter to the saga. I echo what a previous poster said in that I really hope you don't regret this. I also think you need to get the agreement in writing.

 

[dayvewc]

I think this may be the first time I have posted on the debt dumper thread, although I have been reading all along, including all of last year.

Please don't do this! There are red flags all over the place. Danger, danger, Will Robinson!

LOL!! I loved "Lost in Space"!!

1) Why would his parents be willing to pay for him to live with you, but not willing to have him live with them?
2) Will the money come directly to you, or are they giving it to him?
3) Him living in his car is not your problem. It may even force him to actually, you know, grow up and get a job. I see you feeling guilty and going a lot of rationalizing. This guy is trouble with an upper case T, and he is using you. Do not answer his texts, do not answer his phone calls. Do not engage at all. He is a master manipulator.

1) I kind of wonder about this myself. I know from past conversations that he does not get along with his step-mother. Filtered through what he has said of their interactions, I don't think she cares a lot for him either. I kind of get the feeling that she views him pretty much as he is - which kind of makes me a bigger sap.

2) Yes. My understanding is that they will give him the cash for the first month (plus gas and some extra), and then mail me a check for April the last week in March. I'm guessing here, but it actually makes sense to do it that way. His parents live about 400 miles away, so it is not convenient for me to meet them, and he can bring the initial payment faster than it can be mailed. And yes, I have already informed him that he has been removed from my security system, so he does not have access to the house without me being here and I will not let him in until I have cash in hand.

3) That's exactly what I told him when he tried to use that to get me to let him come back. And I am really kind of hoping that this experience has opened his eyes that he can't be a child forever. Yes, I do feel guilty a bit; I've always been that person that would do anything for any of my friends. Not necessarily a good trait, but it is who I am. Pretty sure I am doing a fair bit of rationalizing as well, that's partly why I vent here hoping people will point out where I'm being a total idiot as opposed to just optimistic.

That said, do you have an extra room that you could rent out to someone who is responsible and could actually pay rent? It's not clear to me if you do, because I know you two had a relationship, so I'm not sure if you have an extra room or not.if you do, that I'd one option to help pay down your debt.

I do have an extra bedroom. I am in the process of buying a 4 bedroom house, so theoretically I have 3 extra bedrooms. In practice, 1 of those is set up as my library (though I could move that to another room that I'm using as my office space), and a 2nd bedroom is my catch-all storage room. But yeah, him moving back is not moving back to my bedroom. We also had that conversation briefly, that him coming back was dependent on him being a paying roommate and nothing else.

I have listed on CraigsList for a roommate. For some reason, there are a lot of people currently working as nurses in Guam that want to move in. They'll even send me a cashiers check for 2 months rent plus extra, if I'll just cash it and send the excess back to them to pay for shipping their car here. I am gullible at times, but I wasn't born last night.

Just say no. That's all. No. Nothing else. Not maybe, not well....., not we will see if we can make it work. No. No. No.

Yeah, I need to practice that more. It's a weakness. It's also how I wound up with timeshare at Vacation Village AND DVC AND Orange Lake. (luckily, one of those is completely paid for, 1 is about half paid for, and the other is about 1/8 paid for, and I have learned that I DO NOT need to ever visit a "owners information meeting" ever again.)

 

[dayvewc]

I agree with all of this - and how old is this guy?? I would be seriously shocked if he changed at all. It seems you would just be adding another chapter to the saga. I echo what a previous poster said in that I really hope you don't regret this. I also think you need to get the agreement in writing.

He's 47. And I'm not sure if it is absolutely a matter of change, or recovery. The first 2 1/2 years he lived here, he worked and contributed. Yes, we had periodic issues, and no it wasn't idyllic, but it was a lot better than it has been the past year. I don't know exactly what happened that changed him to begin with (I have suspicions, but nothing for certain). I'm really kind of hoping that he has realized that whatever he thought he was going to be able to do he can't, and will go back to contributing more.

 

[gracie1]

Just bumping thread!

 

[Dentam]

He's 47. And I'm not sure if it is absolutely a matter of change, or recovery. The first 2 1/2 years he lived here, he worked and contributed. Yes, we had periodic issues, and no it wasn't idyllic, but it was a lot better than it has been the past year. I don't know exactly what happened that changed him to begin with (I have suspicions, but nothing for certain). I'm really kind of hoping that he has realized that whatever he thought he was going to be able to do he can't, and will go back to contributing more.

Wow - yeah, I think if I were his stepmother I'd be pushing him out of the house also. Hope he changes his ways for your sake...

 

[PrincessKymm]

I got my unclaimed funds check!!! I did a mobile deposit since DS has a migraine and I can't drive to the bank. I scheduled all my payments for Friday since I get paid Thursday and I set up autopay for 2 of the 3 bills. The third one hasn't cycled over yet. Once I get paid and my check goes through mobile deposit I'll drop off my city taxes and be caught up with that. I had to get some work done on my car but I charged it so my goal is to pay it off by month end so I don't accrue interest. If I'm real careful I can do it since I'm only about $82 away within my budget. I'm really bad at tracking where my money goes, i have to make the time to do that, so I'm guessing at how much I need to "live off of". This means food, gas, clothing, household items, etc. I used to know this but with moving out and DS eating a whole lot more (he's 12 now and eats like he's got hollow legs!) I'm not sure how much I spend. Kind of frustrating but I guess as long as my bills are paid and my debt is going down its good, right?

So I have paid off 3 smaller credit cards and my living room furniture since January. I'm looking forward to April because I get 3 pay checks and my quarterly bonus!!!! I'll pull in roughly over double what I normally do. So Ill have another 2 cards paid in full and a big dent on the next one. Still a ways to go, 3 more, but I'm still on track to be credit card debt free by Julyish 2015...maybe October 2015. I'm also contributing $50 a paycheck to my EF and $20 a week to my 2016 Disney fund. I know that this is slowing me down a bit but it feels good to have money set aside so far in advance. I also consider it a backup EF. If something real bad happens I'll use it. I really need to start saving for Christmas 2015!! My moms gifts will be geared towards our trip next year so hopefully it won't set me back too much lol. I'm thinking gift cards and some new clothes for the trip, maybe a new pair of walking shoes. She will be in a scooter due to her disability but she will want to walk when she gets stiff and sore. I'm so excited to have something to plan (and save!) for!!!

 

[gracie1]

I got my unclaimed funds check!!! I did a mobile deposit since DS has a migraine and I can't drive to the bank. I scheduled all my payments for Friday since I get paid Thursday and I set up autopay for 2 of the 3 bills. The third one hasn't cycled over yet. Once I get paid and my check goes through mobile deposit I'll drop off my city taxes and be caught up with that. I had to get some work done on my car but I charged it so my goal is to pay it off by month end so I don't accrue interest. If I'm real careful I can do it since I'm only about $82 away within my budget. I'm really bad at tracking where my money goes, i have to make the time to do that, so I'm guessing at how much I need to "live off of". This means food, gas, clothing, household items, etc. I used to know this but with moving out and DS eating a whole lot more (he's 12 now and eats like he's got hollow legs!) I'm not sure how much I spend. Kind of frustrating but I guess as long as my bills are paid and my debt is going down its good, right?

So I have paid off 3 smaller credit cards and my living room furniture since January. I'm looking forward to April because I get 3 pay checks and my quarterly bonus!!!! I'll pull in roughly over double what I normally do. So Ill have another 2 cards paid in full and a big dent on the next one. Still a ways to go, 3 more, but I'm still on track to be credit card debt free by Julyish 2015...maybe October 2015. I'm also contributing $50 a paycheck to my EF and $20 a week to my 2016 Disney fund. I know that this is slowing me down a bit but it feels good to have money set aside so far in advance. I also consider it a backup EF. If something real bad happens I'll use it. I really need to start saving for Christmas 2015!! My moms gifts will be geared towards our trip next year so hopefully it won't set me back too much lol. I'm thinking gift cards and some new clothes for the trip, maybe a new pair of walking shoes. She will be in a scooter due to her disability but she will want to walk when she gets stiff and sore. I'm so excited to have something to plan (and save!) for!!!

You are doing a great job!! Sounds like you are on track and really focused! Just think - you will be cc free at the most within 7 months - maybe sooner. It's a huge accomplishment with what you've paid off and saving at the same time

 

[Dentam]

That's wonderful, PrincessKymm! Great work so far and it sounds like you are on track to meet your goals - woohoo!!

 

[dayvewc]

Congratulations PrincessKymm!! Way to go, and good luck that it all stays in your favor in the future!!

 

[yupikgal]

I have done personal loans through my bank and transferring to 0% interest cards. Check to see if the balance transfers are free with the 0% interest. Sometimes they are but a lot of them will charge about 3% on the total balance you are transferring. If it's a large amount your transferring or from a high interest cc then more than likely you will be saving in the end even with the transfer charge. But - make sure that you are able to have that whole amount paid off before the 0% runs out or you will then start paying interest. Some companies will prorate the interest back to the beginning and some won't but you need to keep that in mind.
With a personal loan which you can do with your bank or maybe even a cc company like discover the interest is sometimes around 12-13% but you will have the same amount of payments each month and will know your payoff date. So that is something to think about.

The balance transfers are not 0% Gracie1. The Sears one is 5% and the Discover is 3%. The card that I am considering transferring is our Disney Visa -the interest on this card is 13.24%. With the balance of $8650, the interest is almost $100/mo. I am on track to pay off our Discover next month, but with this Visa card, I don't think we can hit our goal of December, because of our daughter's wedding, me being off the whole month of July, etc. so therefore I am making a new goal of paying it off by the time the 0% expires. With the large balance, a 3% fee would be $259, but I can probably pay that off in addition to my first payment, and that would be the equivalent of about 2.5 interest payments that we are paying now, is the way I look at it? I hate to put another balance on the Discover, but it would essentially be paying off the Disney Visa, and with 0% interest for a year, I think it's sounding pretty good! I could probably even pay it off a bit sooner than the year, but at least I'd have that cushion! As far as the loan that Discover is offering, I need to look at the paperwork again to get the details. I just want to be able to pay off the balance sooner than the allotted time with no penalty, so I will ask them that too. Or maybe I'll transfer the Disney Visa with the 0% offer, then do the remaining balance on the other 2 cards as a loan. What do you think?

 

[gracie1]

The balance transfers are not 0% Gracie1. The Sears one is 5% and the Discover is 3%. The card that I am considering transferring is our Disney Visa -the interest on this card is 13.24%. With the balance of $8650, the interest is almost $100/mo. I am on track to pay off our Discover next month, but with this Visa card, I don't think we can hit our goal of December, because of our daughter's wedding, me being off the whole month of July, etc. so therefore I am making a new goal of paying it off by the time the 0% expires. With the large balance, a 3% fee would be $259, but I can probably pay that off in addition to my first payment, and that would be the equivalent of about 2.5 interest payments that we are paying now, is the way I look at it? I hate to put another balance on the Discover, but it would essentially be paying off the Disney Visa, and with 0% interest for a year, I think it's sounding pretty good! I could probably even pay it off a bit sooner than the year, but at least I'd have that cushion! As far as the loan that Discover is offering, I need to look at the paperwork again to get the details. I just want to be able to pay off the balance sooner than the allotted time with no penalty, so I will ask them that too. Or maybe I'll transfer the Disney Visa with the 0% offer, then do the remaining balance on the other 2 cards as a loan. What do you think?

Ok - so if you transfer the large cc to the 0% interest card and you can pay it off in the year that's the way I would go. I look at it the same way - if your paying $100 a month in interest right now on that balance then it pays off to pay the transfer fee of $259 vs the $1200 they would roughly be getting for the year. Now you have two other cards - what are the interest rates and balance if you don't mind sharing?

 

[dayvewc]

The balance transfers are not 0% Gracie1. The Sears one is 5% and the Discover is 3%. The card that I am considering transferring is our Disney Visa -the interest on this card is 13.24%. With the balance of $8650, the interest is almost $100/mo. I am on track to pay off our Discover next month, but with this Visa card, I don't think we can hit our goal of December, because of our daughter's wedding, me being off the whole month of July, etc. so therefore I am making a new goal of paying it off by the time the 0% expires. With the large balance, a 3% fee would be $259, but I can probably pay that off in addition to my first payment, and that would be the equivalent of about 2.5 interest payments that we are paying now, is the way I look at it? I hate to put another balance on the Discover, but it would essentially be paying off the Disney Visa, and with 0% interest for a year, I think it's sounding pretty good! I could probably even pay it off a bit sooner than the year, but at least I'd have that cushion! As far as the loan that Discover is offering, I need to look at the paperwork again to get the details. I just want to be able to pay off the balance sooner than the allotted time with no penalty, so I will ask them that too. Or maybe I'll transfer the Disney Visa with the 0% offer, then do the remaining balance on the other 2 cards as a loan. What do you think?

Sounds like you have a plan. I would suggest doing a transfer of the largest balance(s) possible to the 0%, so any loans would be on smaller balances. Seems like you'd save more that way - provided you keep swimming and pay off the transfer balance before the promotion rate ends.

 

[superme80]

Need to catch up but credit card debt is PAID!!!!!!! YAY for tax refund! Now that DH has a full time job and got a raise a few months ago, we are making it! So no more need for the card! We will keep it for emergencies but we don't need to use it!!!!! Now on to planning our Disneyland trip!

 

[gracie1]

Way to go superme80!!!!!!! Isn't it great to be cc debt free? Have fun planning your vacation!

 

[ruadisneyfan2]

Need to catch up but credit card debt is PAID!!!!!!! YAY for tax refund! Now that DH has a full time job and got a raise a few months ago, we are making it! So no more need for the card! We will keep it for emergencies but we don't need to use it!!!!! Now on to planning our Disneyland trip!

Congrats! That's awesome.