A kid at heart
<font color=CC00FF>Doesn't expecting the unexpecte
- Joined
- Mar 7, 2000
- Messages
- 928
Dear Tech Support:
Recently I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and
noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes
to the accounting software, severely limiting access to
wardrobe, flower and jewelry applications that operated
flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. No mention of this
phenomenon was included in the product brochure.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalls many other valuable
programs such as DinnerDancing 7.5, CruiseShip 2.3, and
OperaNight 6.1 and installs new, undesirable programs such
as PokerNight 1.3, Saturday Football 5.0, Golf 2.4 and
ClutterEverywhere 4.5. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and
invariably crashes the system. Under no circumstances will
it run DiaperChanging 14.1or HouseCleaning 2.6. I've tried
running Nagging 5.3 to fix Husband 1.0, but this all purpose
utility is of only limited effectiveness. Can you help,
please!!
Sincerely, XXX
Dear XXX:
This is a very common problem women complain about, but it
is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people
upgrade from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 with no idea that
Boyfriend 5.0 is merely an ENTERTAINMENT package. However,
Husband 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and was designed by its
creator to run as few applications as possible.
Further, you cannot purge Husband 1.0 and return to
Boyfriend 5.0, because Husband 1.0 is not designed to do
this. Hidden operating files within your system would cause
Boyfriend 5.0 to emulate Husband 1.0, so nothing is gained.
It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program
files from the system, once installed. Any new program files
can only be installed once per year, as Husband 1.0 has
severely limited memory. Error messages are common, and a
normal part of Husband 1.0.
In desperation to play some of their "old time" favorite
applications, or to get new applications to work, some women
have tried to install Boyfriend 6.0, or Husband 2.0.
However, these women end up with more problems than
encountered with Husband 1.0.
Look in your manual under "Warnings: Divorce/Child Support."
You will notice that this program runs very poorly, and
comes bundled with HeartBreak 1.3. I recommend you keep
Husband 1.0, and just learn the quirks of this strange and
illogical system.
Having Husband 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest
you read the entire section regarding General Partnership
Faults [GPFs]. This is a wonderful feature of Husband 1.0,
secretly installed by the parent company as an integral part
of the operating system.
Husband 1.0 must assume ALL responsibility for ALL faults
and problems, regardless of root cause. To activate this
great feature enter the command "C:\ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED
ME".
Sometimes Tears 6.2 must be run simultaneously while
entering the command. Husband 1.0 should then run the
applications Apologize 12.3 and Flowers/Chocolates 7.8.
TECH TIP! Avoid excessive use of this feature. Overuse can
create additional and more serious GPFs, and ultimately YOU
may have to give a C:\ I APOLOGIZE command before the system
will return to normal operations. Overuse can also cause
Husband 1.0 to default to GrumpySilence 2.5, or worse yet,
to Beer 6.0.
Beer 6.0 is a very bad program that causes Husband 1.0 to
create FatBelly files and Snoring Loudly wave files that are
very hard to delete. Save yourself some trouble by following
this tech tip!
Just remember! The system will run smoothly, and take the
blame for all GPFs, but because of this fine feature it can
only intermittently run all the applications Boyfriend 5.0
ran. Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have
limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.
Consider buying additional software to improve performance.
I personally recommend HotFood 3.0, Lingerie 5.3 and
Patience 10.1. Used in conjunction, these utilities can
really help keep Husband 1.0 running smoothly.
After several years of use, Husband 1.0 will become familiar
and you will find many valuable embedded features such as
FixBrokenThings 2.1, Snuggling 4.2 and BestFriend 7.6.
A final word of caution! Do NOT, under any circumstances,
install MotherInLaw 1.0. This is not a supported
application, and will cause selective shutdown of the
operating system. Husband 1.0 will run only Fishing 9.4 and
Hunting 5.2 until MotherInLaw 1.0 is uninstalled.
I hope these notes have helped. Thank you for choosing to
install Husband 1.0 and we here at Tech Support wish you the
best of luck in coming years. We trust you will learn to
fully enjoy this product!
Tech Support
Recently I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and
noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes
to the accounting software, severely limiting access to
wardrobe, flower and jewelry applications that operated
flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. No mention of this
phenomenon was included in the product brochure.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalls many other valuable
programs such as DinnerDancing 7.5, CruiseShip 2.3, and
OperaNight 6.1 and installs new, undesirable programs such
as PokerNight 1.3, Saturday Football 5.0, Golf 2.4 and
ClutterEverywhere 4.5. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and
invariably crashes the system. Under no circumstances will
it run DiaperChanging 14.1or HouseCleaning 2.6. I've tried
running Nagging 5.3 to fix Husband 1.0, but this all purpose
utility is of only limited effectiveness. Can you help,
please!!
Sincerely, XXX
Dear XXX:
This is a very common problem women complain about, but it
is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people
upgrade from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 with no idea that
Boyfriend 5.0 is merely an ENTERTAINMENT package. However,
Husband 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and was designed by its
creator to run as few applications as possible.
Further, you cannot purge Husband 1.0 and return to
Boyfriend 5.0, because Husband 1.0 is not designed to do
this. Hidden operating files within your system would cause
Boyfriend 5.0 to emulate Husband 1.0, so nothing is gained.
It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program
files from the system, once installed. Any new program files
can only be installed once per year, as Husband 1.0 has
severely limited memory. Error messages are common, and a
normal part of Husband 1.0.
In desperation to play some of their "old time" favorite
applications, or to get new applications to work, some women
have tried to install Boyfriend 6.0, or Husband 2.0.
However, these women end up with more problems than
encountered with Husband 1.0.
Look in your manual under "Warnings: Divorce/Child Support."
You will notice that this program runs very poorly, and
comes bundled with HeartBreak 1.3. I recommend you keep
Husband 1.0, and just learn the quirks of this strange and
illogical system.
Having Husband 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest
you read the entire section regarding General Partnership
Faults [GPFs]. This is a wonderful feature of Husband 1.0,
secretly installed by the parent company as an integral part
of the operating system.
Husband 1.0 must assume ALL responsibility for ALL faults
and problems, regardless of root cause. To activate this
great feature enter the command "C:\ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED
ME".
Sometimes Tears 6.2 must be run simultaneously while
entering the command. Husband 1.0 should then run the
applications Apologize 12.3 and Flowers/Chocolates 7.8.
TECH TIP! Avoid excessive use of this feature. Overuse can
create additional and more serious GPFs, and ultimately YOU
may have to give a C:\ I APOLOGIZE command before the system
will return to normal operations. Overuse can also cause
Husband 1.0 to default to GrumpySilence 2.5, or worse yet,
to Beer 6.0.
Beer 6.0 is a very bad program that causes Husband 1.0 to
create FatBelly files and Snoring Loudly wave files that are
very hard to delete. Save yourself some trouble by following
this tech tip!
Just remember! The system will run smoothly, and take the
blame for all GPFs, but because of this fine feature it can
only intermittently run all the applications Boyfriend 5.0
ran. Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have
limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.
Consider buying additional software to improve performance.
I personally recommend HotFood 3.0, Lingerie 5.3 and
Patience 10.1. Used in conjunction, these utilities can
really help keep Husband 1.0 running smoothly.
After several years of use, Husband 1.0 will become familiar
and you will find many valuable embedded features such as
FixBrokenThings 2.1, Snuggling 4.2 and BestFriend 7.6.
A final word of caution! Do NOT, under any circumstances,
install MotherInLaw 1.0. This is not a supported
application, and will cause selective shutdown of the
operating system. Husband 1.0 will run only Fishing 9.4 and
Hunting 5.2 until MotherInLaw 1.0 is uninstalled.
I hope these notes have helped. Thank you for choosing to
install Husband 1.0 and we here at Tech Support wish you the
best of luck in coming years. We trust you will learn to
fully enjoy this product!
Tech Support
