Dealing with the lost of a pet….

[Once.Upon.A.Time]

Hi all,

I just need some people for support and to talk too. My cat has been sick for a while now. He had to have most of his teeth pulled due to age and disease and than came down with the age old chronic kidney disease. Well, I know now the end is near. I don’t want it to be. I miss him so much already. I have cried for days on end. He’s my best friend. My soul cat. He’s bought me endless joy and I’ll love him forever, but I have we have to make that dreaded trip. How to cope? Especially this time of year? Plus he was bonded with his sister and now she’ll miss him I’m sure. Just looking for some words of wisdom. Support. Stories. And knowing when to open your heart to another precious animal.

Thank you all so much,

Xoxo

 

[Kitty 34]

Here's a big for you.

 

[slo]

I am so sorry to hear this
Many of us have experienced the loss of a beloved pet and definitely understand what you are going through
My best advice is to focus on the joy your cat has given you. Try your hardest to not slip into a repetitive pattern of focusing on your cats final days, which isn’t easy I know. Our first dog died at 5 years old with lymphoma that we didn’t know about until it was too late. He was my big boy and I loved him so much - I was shattered. It took a lot for me to grieve with a smile instead of just tears. I made a photo album of just him and 23 years later, I still look at it and still shed a tear, but it’s a happy tear, because he was amazing.
Again, I’m sorry to hear this and I hope the wonderful memories of your cat comfort you during this sad time

 

[GAN]

Take Slo's advice. It's the best way to cope -you did everything for him and know he did everything for you. We had to put down my pal earlier this year and it was difficult, but we knew that ultimately he had given everything he could -in fact, I was thinking about him last night. It hurts -but I think about his goofy ways and do manage a laugh. Take care...

 

[CynBeth]

We had to put down our previous rescue dog and experienced 3 weeks from when we first noticed her acting weird and taking her to the vet who suspected a brain tumor and did not want to put her through all of the testing to confirm as with her being 13 would not do anything and of her going downhill until we had to make the decision to put her down. Watching her those 3 weeks was one of the hardest things and I cried a lot. I could not even go with my DH to the vet’s office to have it done. We knew adopting another dog would help us cope so a few weeks after we found our current dog at the same shelter we got our first one from. We did look at a few others in my area and it was fate that both came from the same one.

 

[lynxstch]

You need to do what's best for him,, not best for you. It will hurt (been there done that), but rather than see him suffer, let him go and rest in peace. Grieve him when he passes, remember him always, and your heart will tell you when it's time to open it to another pet. God bless

 

[Moliphino]

It really really sucks. We've had to have two of our elderly dogs put to sleep in the past 5 years. They were very old and it was clearly time to let them go, but we all cried like babies those days.

As for when it's time for a new pet, that's really up to how you feel. When we lost my childhood dog (she was an only pet), I couldn't stand the empty house. We adopted a new puppy about a month later, which may have really been too soon. The transition was tough, but I don't regret getting the new dog. For that dog, we still had her brother and I had adopted a puppy a few months before. That was a lot easier, since there was no transition and it didn't feel like I was trying to replace her.

 

[TiggerTrigger]

I feel for you. It's never easy, no matter how it happens. I had one dog diagnosed with bone cancer that I nursed for many months before it was time. I had another where her cancer impacts didn't start to show until it was too late and we had a whopping 2 days left when things took that turn. I also remember a family dog where my parents weren't ready to let go and would later regret not taking action to ease her suffering sooner. Ultimately, there is no right or wrong in most cases. So, give yourself grace, give yourself time, and find productive ways to remember and reminisce when the time comes. The dog that took that turn with only 2 days left has a little shrine in our dining area. It's nothing too crazy...just some favorite pictures, sympathy cards, her ashes, and collar, but with it being the holidays...I also gave her some decorations. I'm sure it's silly to some but I still like to include her a bit in the festivities. Like I said...it's never easy, but as time goes on, it will get easier and will eventually become a focus on the positive...as well as laughing at some of their mischief in their earlier days.

 

[MouseLover]

Losing a beloved pet is incredibly hard. We had to put down our 17yo cat five years ago so I understand. Just love your pet through it.

One thing that helped me was getting a photo of her turned into a pet-shaped pillow. Sometimes I hold that pillow in my lap and remember her fondly. There are several websites that will do this. I don’t remember which one I used but it was about $30 then.

 

[gmi3804]

This is the worst thing a pet owner ever goes through. When we adopt them, the clock starts on a countdown to heartache. Maybe this will help you (it works with cats too), especially the last two paragraphs:

A Dog's Prayer

Treat me kindly, my beloved friend for no heart in the world is more grateful for
kindness than the loving heart of me.

Do not break my spirit with a stick, for though I might lick your hand between
blows, your patience and understanding will more quickly teach me the things
that you would have me learn.

Speak to me often, for your voice is the world’s sweetest music, as you know by
the fierce wagging of my tail when the sound of your footstep falls upon my
waiting ear.

Please bring me inside when it is cold and wet, for I am a domestic animal,
unaccustomed to the bitter elements.

I ask no greater glory than the privilege of sitting at your feet beside the hearth.
Keep my pan filled with fresh water, for I cannot tell you when I suffer thirst.
Feed me clean food that I may stay well, to romp and play and do your bidding, to
walk by your side and stand ready, willing, and able to protect you with my life,
should your life be in danger.

And my friend, when I am very old and I no longer enjoy good health, hearing, and
sight; please do not make heroic efforts to keep my going. I am not having any
fun. Please see to it that my life is taken gently, painlessly, without fear, and with
you, my best friend, at my side.

I shall leave this earth knowing with the last breath I draw, that my fate was
always safest in your loving hands.

 

[Dug720]

Hugs!!! As others have said, as hard as it is, doing what is best for him is the kindest thing you can do.

Only you can know when you're ready for a new pet. When my cat Merida died of a heart attack at the beginning of July, I felt ready sooner than I would have expected - though part of that is I'm single and live alone, so the apartment was really quiet. In my case I knew I had 2 trips coming up in July and August and didn't want to get a new cat only to leave, so I waited until I was back from Disney and on August 30 I went to the ASPCA and found/was chosen by "Harissa" who is now Tsireya. But that was my timeline. Only you can know yours.

 

[evilmommie]

I’m so sorry you’re walking through this. Loving an animal means eventually carrying this kind of heartache, and it’s one of the hardest goodbyes there is. Your cat has known nothing but care, safety, and love because of you…and that love doesn’t end, even as you prepare to let go. Be gentle with yourself in these moments.

God, please surround this sweet soul and their beloved companion with peace. Ease any pain, calm any fear, and let love be the last thing felt and known. Comfort the heart that is grieving, and hold them steady through this goodbye. Amen.

 

[Rogue1677x]

Sending big hugs!

It's an incredibly difficult decision, but remember that as hard as it is to let them go, there's a time when it's necessary as their health fails.

In June when we had to put down our 14 year old rescue dog, it was like a piece of my heart was ripped out. The vet came to the house to euthanize her and he gave me all the time I needed to hug her, tell her how much we love her and say goodbye.

The reality was we had to do it. She was having mobility issues where her hind legs were so weak, they fully collapsed at this point; she was having seizures and the day before she was put down, she had a stroke. Her eyes were rolling around and she couldn't sit up. The vet believed she had a brain tumor at that point and at that age, treatment would be cruel.

We loved her, gave her a great life and grieved.

As for knowing when to get another pet, that's very individual based. We adopted a rescue 2 months after our other dog Bella was put down. It just felt right when we saw her picture. She looked like Bella on the face, with a little heart on her forehead, but not so much that it felt like a replacement. When we got the puppy, the funny thing we noticed on her belly was a pawprint, as if it was a stamp of approval.

We'll always miss Bella, but having Blu (the puppy) and Willow, the other dog we adopted later, in our lives brings us great joy.

 

[clappyclaps]

So sorry to hear that you're going through this. Sending big hugs your way

I felt ready sooner than I would have expected - though part of that is I'm single and live alone, so the apartment was really quiet.

^^ this was pretty much it for me. My cat was put to sleep early September, and by the time my holiday was over end of November, I adopted 2 little rascals from the local shelter as my house was far too quiet.

For me, I also found knowing that my cat was in her final days before it happened helped me get through it. Better than it being a total shock.

 

[barkley]

Plus he was bonded with his sister and now she’ll miss him I’m sure.

we were so worried that our cat would really miss her mama when mama was getting near the end earlier this year b/c the younger cat had been with her mama for all 12 years of her life. I think though that the baby knew that her mama was not doing well near the end b/c when mama's time came the younger almost seemed to relax. she's changed since her mama passed-even taken up some of mama's old habits. what is really interesting (and sweet) is that mama was def. more attached to dh and younger had me as her designated person. after mama passed the younger has made a very big effort on her part (she's kinda shy and stand-offish) to interact with dh and has now adjusted her habits to share her time between the two of us.

one thing i've taken comfort with in the passing of mama and our prior cat is having them cremated and put into cat shaped urns. one is brass and looks just like our first cat in her favorite pre-pounce mode, mama's is wooden and looks like mama curled up in her favorite cinnamon roll position. I walk by them and occasional pet them, talk to them-tell them i'm glad they are now out of pain.

 

[Dug720]

For me, I also found knowing that my cat was in her final days before it happened helped me get through it. Better than it being a total shock.

Yeah...in Merida's case, I knew she had a non-benign heart murmur but didn't know the extent of the disease. I was saving up for the echocardiogram (insurance wouldn't cover because her shelter paperwork said she had a murmur) when she had a heart attack. So it wasn't totally unexpected, but it was in terms of not knowing HOW bad things were. It did help that the vet at the emergency clinic said there is really nothing you can do when they are at that point. But it still hurt.