Dealing with the lost of a pet….

[Once.Upon.A.Time]

Hi all,

I just need some people for support and to talk too. My cat has been sick for a while now. He had to have most of his teeth pulled due to age and disease and than came down with the age old chronic kidney disease. Well, I know now the end is near. I don’t want it to be. I miss him so much already. I have cried for days on end. He’s my best friend. My soul cat. He’s bought me endless joy and I’ll love him forever, but I have we have to make that dreaded trip. How to cope? Especially this time of year? Plus he was bonded with his sister and now she’ll miss him I’m sure. Just looking for some words of wisdom. Support. Stories. And knowing when to open your heart to another precious animal.

Thank you all so much,

Xoxo

 

[Kitty 34]

Here's a big for you.

 

[slo]

I am so sorry to hear this
Many of us have experienced the loss of a beloved pet and definitely understand what you are going through
My best advice is to focus on the joy your cat has given you. Try your hardest to not slip into a repetitive pattern of focusing on your cats final days, which isn’t easy I know. Our first dog died at 5 years old with lymphoma that we didn’t know about until it was too late. He was my big boy and I loved him so much - I was shattered. It took a lot for me to grieve with a smile instead of just tears. I made a photo album of just him and 23 years later, I still look at it and still shed a tear, but it’s a happy tear, because he was amazing.
Again, I’m sorry to hear this and I hope the wonderful memories of your cat comfort you during this sad time

 

[GAN]

Take Slo's advice. It's the best way to cope -you did everything for him and know he did everything for you. We had to put down my pal earlier this year and it was difficult, but we knew that ultimately he had given everything he could -in fact, I was thinking about him last night. It hurts -but I think about his goofy ways and do manage a laugh. Take care...

 

[CynBeth]

We had to put down our previous rescue dog and experienced 3 weeks from when we first noticed her acting weird and taking her to the vet who suspected a brain tumor and did not want to put her through all of the testing to confirm as with her being 13 would not do anything and of her going downhill until we had to make the decision to put her down. Watching her those 3 weeks was one of the hardest things and I cried a lot. I could not even go with my DH to the vet’s office to have it done. We knew adopting another dog would help us cope so a few weeks after we found our current dog at the same shelter we got our first one from. We did look at a few others in my area and it was fate that both came from the same one.

 

[lynxstch]

You need to do what's best for him,, not best for you. It will hurt (been there done that), but rather than see him suffer, let him go and rest in peace. Grieve him when he passes, remember him always, and your heart will tell you when it's time to open it to another pet. God bless

 

[Moliphino]

It really really sucks. We've had to have two of our elderly dogs put to sleep in the past 5 years. They were very old and it was clearly time to let them go, but we all cried like babies those days.

As for when it's time for a new pet, that's really up to how you feel. When we lost my childhood dog (she was an only pet), I couldn't stand the empty house. We adopted a new puppy about a month later, which may have really been too soon. The transition was tough, but I don't regret getting the new dog. For that dog, we still had her brother and I had adopted a puppy a few months before. That was a lot easier, since there was no transition and it didn't feel like I was trying to replace her.

 

[TiggerTrigger]

I feel for you. It's never easy, no matter how it happens. I had one dog diagnosed with bone cancer that I nursed for many months before it was time. I had another where her cancer impacts didn't start to show until it was too late and we had a whopping 2 days left when things took that turn. I also remember a family dog where my parents weren't ready to let go and would later regret not taking action to ease her suffering sooner. Ultimately, there is no right or wrong in most cases. So, give yourself grace, give yourself time, and find productive ways to remember and reminisce when the time comes. The dog that took that turn with only 2 days left has a little shrine in our dining area. It's nothing too crazy...just some favorite pictures, sympathy cards, her ashes, and collar, but with it being the holidays...I also gave her some decorations. I'm sure it's silly to some but I still like to include her a bit in the festivities. Like I said...it's never easy, but as time goes on, it will get easier and will eventually become a focus on the positive...as well as laughing at some of their mischief in their earlier days.

 

[MouseLover]

Losing a beloved pet is incredibly hard. We had to put down our 17yo cat five years ago so I understand. Just love your pet through it.

One thing that helped me was getting a photo of her turned into a pet-shaped pillow. Sometimes I hold that pillow in my lap and remember her fondly. There are several websites that will do this. I don’t remember which one I used but it was about $30 then.

 

[gmi3804]

This is the worst thing a pet owner ever goes through. When we adopt them, the clock starts on a countdown to heartache. Maybe this will help you (it works with cats too), especially the last two paragraphs:

A Dog's Prayer

Treat me kindly, my beloved friend for no heart in the world is more grateful for
kindness than the loving heart of me.

Do not break my spirit with a stick, for though I might lick your hand between
blows, your patience and understanding will more quickly teach me the things
that you would have me learn.

Speak to me often, for your voice is the world’s sweetest music, as you know by
the fierce wagging of my tail when the sound of your footstep falls upon my
waiting ear.

Please bring me inside when it is cold and wet, for I am a domestic animal,
unaccustomed to the bitter elements.

I ask no greater glory than the privilege of sitting at your feet beside the hearth.
Keep my pan filled with fresh water, for I cannot tell you when I suffer thirst.
Feed me clean food that I may stay well, to romp and play and do your bidding, to
walk by your side and stand ready, willing, and able to protect you with my life,
should your life be in danger.

And my friend, when I am very old and I no longer enjoy good health, hearing, and
sight; please do not make heroic efforts to keep my going. I am not having any
fun. Please see to it that my life is taken gently, painlessly, without fear, and with
you, my best friend, at my side.

I shall leave this earth knowing with the last breath I draw, that my fate was
always safest in your loving hands.

 

[Dug720]

Hugs!!! As others have said, as hard as it is, doing what is best for him is the kindest thing you can do.

Only you can know when you're ready for a new pet. When my cat Merida died of a heart attack at the beginning of July, I felt ready sooner than I would have expected - though part of that is I'm single and live alone, so the apartment was really quiet. In my case I knew I had 2 trips coming up in July and August and didn't want to get a new cat only to leave, so I waited until I was back from Disney and on August 30 I went to the ASPCA and found/was chosen by "Harissa" who is now Tsireya. But that was my timeline. Only you can know yours.