Dealing with The Loss of a Son

I'm glad that Castaway was a nice relief for you. :hug:

Hope you are both feeling better.
 
Well my world just keeps crashing down harder and harder on me :sad1:
I am dealing with a bunch more of issues at home on top of still grieving the loss of my son..

I want to just give up

:guilty:
 
Well my world just keeps crashing down harder and harder on me :sad1:
I am dealing with a bunch more of issues at home on top of still grieving the loss of my son..

I want to just give up

:guilty:

Stacy, you can call me to talk any time of night or day.
Aunt Michele
 
Stacy,

I know there are no words to make things better.

I'm so sorry that this is your reality. Unfortunately, the rest of life keeps on going around you, which really, really sucks. Just wanted you to know you are not alone. Sometimes it is all you can do just to keep on breathing.

One breath at a time.

It's been two months for me. The reality has set in and I can barely stand it. I just focus on one day, sometimes one hour or even just one minute at a time.

Praying :littleangel:
 


First...what a cutie! You can just see it in his eyes, the joy and love of life he had! Shows job well done, mom!!

I have been trying to cry as softly as I can while trying to find some respite from my pain...today, my family (3 kids and dh) drove 2 hours to spend the day with my uncle. Two weeks ago he suffered seizures and has gone downhill since....he's 69, used to play football at Penn State with Mike Ditka, best golfer, outrageously funny, married to my aunt for 39 years...they never had kids so all us nieces and nephews were their children. They actually were the first to see my children before my own parents...always there for major events and we even dragged them along to our beach vacations...playing putt-putt with "Igor" was a highlight in my kids memories. So, today we had to stand by his bedside, pray with him, suction his throat to keep it clear so he could manage what little breathing...he was so hot to the touch, I took his fever and it was still climbing at 103..they've taken him off fluids and ng feedings so it's just a matter of time. I made it all through today without crying..I tried to laugh for my aunt...keep conversations going, hold his hand and let him know we were there (he hasn't opened his eyes in 2 days)....I even managed the ride home really well...but tonight the kids wanted to watch a movie and "Ghost" was playing, I didn't cry through it at all...kissed the kids good night and sat down for a quick review of cruising trip reports (we're taking our first cruise ever next May)....and then I just lost it...I can't cry too loudly b/c my kids will hear...I'm just sick...I feel physical pain and a deep pit that won't go away. I just want to scream, run to my aunt and hold her...then I found this board, your thread popped out and I had to read through your loss to get to a point where I said, "It's going to be okay" Damien's mom is suffering, she's mad as hades, she's plugging on, she has setbacks, she has supporters, she's human....then it dawned on me, I'm not alone....I can not even imagine losing a child....but I feel like I'm losing a father....they were the ones I would go to when I was away at college to wash my laundry, she would always send me out with every bit of change she had b/c she knew being a college student was hard. Always got a birthday card from her...more so than my own mom! I love my parents dearly but they were just pretty busy.
So, you see...your loss helps the rest of us recognize something very important...we can go on, we can live our lives to honor those we've lost...anything short of that and I'm sure we'd get a scolding...I'm here to let you know that just in what I see in Damien's pictures, he does NOT want you to suffer...grieve, grieve, scream, get angry...know your husband's way of grieving may be different than yours...you both may believe the other one is just not getting it, but you'll reach a point of understanding, and I pray it shines on you soon.

Thank you for sharing and thanks for letting me get my silent crying out in this post...I love you Uncle Len!!

Tara
 
ugh!!!!!!!! :sad1:

I miss my son so much and I have so much drama and stress in my life right now I feel lost and confused.. I need his strength

My mind races at night and I can't sleep and I'm so exhausted mentally and physically..

:guilty:
 


I feel what you are feeling, i have been the same way in the past two years, I am having a hard time dealing w/ mine, i can't sleep, eat, i'm :grouphug: mean to everyone and wondering why are they here, when my Daughter can't be, it's Horrible being this way, and there is not a soul out there that can Help me, i tell them if they want to Help, then bring my only child back, i am losing it.
I can't even find any Happiness anymore, i am being a total you know what. Please if you ever want to talk, maybe it would do us both some good, for people that haven't been in our situation, it 's hard on them to show us affection, or give help.
I just hope and Pray that we both and all that are going through something like this, that we find Happiness, Strenght to go on.
your friend
Nana
 
Thinking about you today. I hope you are well and feeling stronger. :hug:
 
It's been a while since I have been here :flower3:

I continue to grieve my son as I miss him so so so much :sad1: I still can not believe he is gone and I would do anything to change back the clock 6 months but I know that is an impossible dream

My life at home just keeps getting worse, but I need to be strong and move on, and I need to worry about me now.. It's very different because my son and my husband always came first.. and Now to put myself first seems very strange to me but I have no choice now
 
It's been a while since I have been here :flower3:

I continue to grieve my son as I miss him so so so much :sad1: I still can not believe he is gone and I would do anything to change back the clock 6 months but I know that is an impossible dream

My life at home just keeps getting worse, but I need to be strong and move on, and I need to worry about me now.. It's very different because my son and my husband always came first.. and Now to put myself first seems very strange to me but I have no choice now

:grouphug::grouphug:
 
:grouphug:


Thank You for everyone's constant hugs and support
It is greatly appreciated
 
Ready to finally tell the news.... Still hoping on a miracle and hanging by a thread it will change..

We are heading down to Florida for a few days.. but not for anything good.. I will be cleaning out my stuff from "Our Dream Home" "Our Future Retirement Home" the home, I just finished decorating..

My husband and I will be divorcing. He has been having an affair with our son's Best Friend for a few months now. I'm beyond devastated, shocked and was blindsided by this. She just turned 20 He will be 40 in January..

I treated her like a daughter.. I can not believe she can do this to me. She knew my husband was hurting because we both talked to her when we took her and our son's other Best Friend to Disney for 2 weeks in the summer to give them a break from dealing with things before school started again.. He told us how he was hurting and felt lost.. And she totally took advantage of the situation for herself.. I don't get it.. She doesn't feel an ounce of guilt, remorse or anything.. She even went with me to a Support Group meeting for Grieving parents..

How do you sleep with your best friend's father and break up your best friend's parents marriage??

He wasn't even gone 6 months when the affair started..

And same for my Husband.. How do you sleep with your son's best friend, a girl he took to Sr prom? and someone who is young enough to be his daughter..

He says they are in love and are planning their future together

Why is it everyone else deserves happiness but me? What did I do to deserve all this pain, hurting, and devastation??

He never once said he was unhappy!!! He said the opposite.. Said he felt closer then ever to me.. I was getting flowers once a week right up until the day I forced him to confess..

Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
:sad1:
 
Stacy, I am so sorry! You might want to look at it as temporary insanity after your son's death. It is almost like his way of having part of your son back...NOT that I am justifying his action AT ALL, but it can (and has) happened before. It doesn't lessen the pain but believe me it won't last and in the long run, because you are the one who is dealing with your emotions and he isn't happiness will be yours. What will be his I don't know but I've seen some pretty serious karma come around before...

Please never think you won't be happy again. Your husband's affair has nothing to do with happiness and everything to do with desperation and denial.

We are here for you. In lieu of a real hug, I'm sending you lots of :hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug: Please PM me if you need a shoulder to cry on.

Hang in there. We're all rooting for you!
 
Stacy -
I'm so sorry for all you have been going through. I am praying for some peace for you with both the loss of your son and your husband's bone-head choice.
I also lost my son, 6 years ago. He was 18 months old, and I miss him every day. Somehow my husband and I have been able to get through this sad time together. It wasn't/isn't always easy, and there were times when we expressed our grief very differently. We had to be patient with each other, and learned to overlook some of the bad choices each of us made while coping and struggling to hang on to what was left of the lives we knew.
Is there any chance that your husband will snap out of it, and if he does, will you want to try to work through this? You have some tough times ahead, but after reading this thread it is obvious that you are a very strong woman.
My prayers are with you, and even with your husband.
 

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