DD's MIL strikes again

[Disney Doll]

Did you ever think that maybe the lady has stopped trying to make you happy because she pretty much knows she can't?

Your DD would do well not to tell you so much about her MIL.

When my Late DMIL & I had "words" (which was rare, but did occur on occasion) the last person I'd tell is my mother!!! She'd be all over it, similar to how you are. I subscribed to the "what she doesn't know won't hurt her" theory.

That way, my parents and my in-laws got along, enjoyed each other's company at family gatherings, and there wasn't any strife.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Yep, the old "What they don't know won't hurt 'em" approach... Simpy do not tell them anything! Don't give them anything to complain about or to meddle in. Give them no room to make YOUR business THEIR business.

That is what I HIGHLY recommend for anyone who has problems with their parents/inlaws!!! When MM posted about her daughter having trouble with her inlaws butting into her decisions concerning her pregnancy, that was my response then, and it is my advice NOW!

Marlasmom, if you continue to be critical/judgemental and meddling in this situation, you will force your daughter to pull away and to stop sharing her life with you.... I promise you, this will be the ultimate result, a strained relationship with your DD and your grandchild(ren).

I had always known that the inlaws were the controlling, meddling, demanding type. But, Marlasmom, you may not realize it, but by your recent post, it would appear that you are being equally as controlling, meddling, and demanding?????

All of this is simply NONE of your business. Why are you letting things like this bother you? Your DD's mother inlaw has no obligation to you. And you have no obligation to her.

As I had posted earlier... Take a deep cleansing breath... Repeat the serenity prayer three times, let it go, and be happy!!!

 

[MELSMICE]

I've read some of your other posts about DD's MIL. She is obviously very opinionated about things. You are not going to change her at this point, but you can change your reaction to things.

Who cares if she thinks your DD should still be breastfeeding? She obviously just wants to state her opinion. Don't let her opinions bother you. Listen to her squawk, nod your head & have your DD would do what she wants anyway.

As far as the baby fussing in the restaurant - I agree that if it is bothering other patrons someone should walk out with her. Who cares what MIL says. Let her talk, but why let it bother you. It's not a big deal.

The clothes - so what if it's end of season. I've gotten some things end of season that I knew DD's wouldn't wear very long. My MIL has bought my DD's some of the goofiest things/clothes you can imagine. We always thank her & make a big deal out of it. Many times I find the items in the Goodwill pile with the tags still on. MIL wasn't any the wiser that they didn't wear the items, but she felt great when she gave them as a gift.

If you are having such a hard time finding something to like about this woman then I suggest YOU do something about it. Don't spend time with her. Don't invite them to stay with you & don't go to dinner with them. It obviously bothers you that you are picking up the check - don't put yourself in that situation.

There are a lot worse things that the MIL could do. Give her a break on some of these petty things - it's not worth your aggravation.

My MIL can be a real goofball at times & very opinionated, I have learned to listen & talk about things, but then do what I want anyway. Her opinions used to annoy me, but I realized she was harmless & just wanted to talk & put her 2 cents in.

 

[Saphire]

There is some great advice from dozens of people here. I think you should read this post over and over whenever you think of a past grievance this woman has done to you, your daughter, and now your grand-daughter. Here is what I would do. Tell DD not to discuss the MIL anymore with you, because it gives you new reasons to get upset. Also, step back from any relationship you have with her, because it brings you no pleasure. Good Luck.

 

[DawnCt1]

At least the MIL bought the baby some cute clothes. When all of my DSs were born, my MIL never got them a thing. The only time she ever bought them any clothes was when she picked up a bunch of PEE WEE HERMAN clothes at JC Penney's right after he was arrested!!! First of all they were so ugly I wouldn't have let them out of the house in them. Secondly, he had been arrested for a lewd act in a porn movie! I returned the clothes and was able to buy a pair of Osh Kosh overalls with the proceeds. Would you believe that she called me the next day asking for half of them back because some were bought by her sister for her grandchildren!!! It was a pleasure to tell her that I had returned them for one set of overalls. When she asked me what she was going to tell her sister, I said, "why, I have no idea".

 

[Disney Doll]

Yep, the old "What they don't know won't hurt 'em" approach... Simpy do not tell them anything! Don't give them anything to complain about or to meddle in. Give them no room to make YOUR business THEIR business.

That is what I HIGHLY recommend for anyone who has problems with their parents/inlaws!!! When MM posted about her daughter having trouble with her inlaws butting into her decisions concerning her pregnancy, that was my response then, and it is my advice NOW!

Well, I do think it's good advice in certain cases. As an adult, I choose who I want to share information with all the time. Sometimes it includes my mother and sometimes it doesn't.

 

[Tink123]

My DD, SIL and DGD visited his brother and wife a couple of weeks ago. MIL and FIL came too. She took lots of pictures of our new grandbaby and sent them to everybody she has ever met - but NOT to us. Wouldn't it occur to her that the other grandparents would like to see them too?

She is now getting things for the baby - summer clothes that have been marked down again and again in her current size. Summer is almost over - she needs fall stuff. She just never thinks.

Do you share the pictures you take wiht her?

Who cares what she sends her money on. At least she is not ignoring the grandbaby!

That is the most important thing right?

 

[Regina]

My MIL passed away when our two, her only grandchildren at the time, were 2 and 1/2 and 1 years old. I treasure the sweaters and blanket that she lovingly knit for both of them. My Mom also made sweaters and blankets. Now that she's passed, they're all the more precious to me.

I think of them sitting there and smiling as they knit each stitch. They took such joy in their grandchildren and creating something so special meant the world to them.

The strollers, high chairs, cribs and other "stuff" are long since gone. It's those handmade items that are carefully stored and waiting for the next generation of grandchildren.

I can't fathom anyone thinking that a homemade gift is the one that is less valuable.

 

[aprincessmom]

I can't fathom anyone thinking that a homemade gift is the one that is less valuable.

I agree...I can't think of anything more valuable than someone taking their own precious time to make something specifically for me or my DD. What a great gift!

 

[Tea Please]

The clothes issue irks me because they didn't do anything when the baby was born - nada. Wait - I take it back - she made the baby a dress and a blanket.

I was always thrilled when someone made something for my kids. It really is very thoughtful to take the time to make something. Anyone can pop into the department store and pick something up. Sounds to me as though there might be a little jealousy on your part. You need to let this crap go, it really is none of your business what the woman does.

And as far as not even getting a thank you for buying dinner.. well than stop playing the martyr, let them pay for themselves. I think you are just being grandiose anyway. All you do is complain about them anyway, so why would you treat them to all these dinners? EGO They probably dislike you as much or more as you them.