It's so funny that you chose the word "patience". That is exactly what I need. I get so impatient and frustrated with her, and I hate to be that way because that was the way my father treated her.
It is just so hard when I tell her something and she does the opposite. It is like dealing with Princess. I am worried about how she will approach this because her mindset and perception of things is very screwy. That is because she endured almost 40 years of being belittled and controlled by my father. She would much rather ignore something (anything - not just this) and let it spiral completely out of control instead of trying to solve it.
When I took her to an attorney about getting a divorce she just sat and listened, then she thanked the guy and said "I believe I'll just stay married." And she did, and things got worse and worse and worse until she finally lost her house. Eventually a guy she had done some part-time work for offered to help her. He referred her to an attorney who worked pro-bono but made such an incredible mess of things that my mom was completely destitute and had NO child support coming in. ExMomboss offered repeatedly to help her, but she wouldn't take the offer. It's almost like she is thumbing her nose at me, to see how far she can deviate from what I tell her. Then she comes back and tells me I was right.
Patience.