DDA Chapter 20

[babytrees]

It is absolutely beautiful here today....I may just find some shorts and spend time on my back porch. (I would say pants but I need to laundry to be able to do that). Our snow is all gone from the weekend, leaving potholes and muck.

Cassidy came home Sunday night and seems to have had a grand time. Abi was thrilled to see her yesterday after school and about 10 minutes before bed time I could here them in Cassidy's room just giggling.

 

[bethbuchall]

I need to get this off my chest. I can't vent it in front of the kids, and dh doesn't seem to understand. Since I don't want to start a fight with him, you are my "lucky" audience.

My in-laws aren't coming to Matthew's graduation, because it will be long and boring (and FIL doesn't really like crowds). We aren't having a party, but I was planning to taking the grandparents (my parents are coming) and any other family* that wants to come out to dinner. I guess the group will be a little smaller. Am I right to feel a little hurt by this or am I overreacting as dh seems to think? We weren't invited to his nephew's graduation last year, so I don't know if anyone (including the graduate) even went to that. I know that his family isn't the type for ceremony and celebration, but to really not want to attend your grandson's graduation!? They only live about 75-90 minutes from here, so it's not a hardship to make the trip, and they are young grandparents in good health.

* Dh's sister, her boyfriend, and their kids (16 and 18) were going to be invited, too, but I didn't really expect that they would come. They live near my MIL and FIL. I will extend the invitation to my brother and his family as well, but they are far away, so I don't expect them to come either.

I'll get over it, and Matthew doesn't seem to really care one way or another. Maybe I am making too big a deal over it.

 

[bethbuchall]

I promised myself that I would get some exercise every day this week (one of my funk-busting strategies). So even though I feel like doing it as much as sticking a needle in my eye, I'd better go get started.

 

[babytrees]

I need to get this off my chest. I can't vent it in front of the kids, and dh doesn't seem to understand. Since I don't want to start a fight with him, you are my "lucky" audience.

My in-laws aren't coming to Matthew's graduation, because it will be long and boring (and FIL doesn't really like crowds). We aren't having a party, but I was planning to taking the grandparents (my parents are coming) and any other family* that wants to come out to dinner. I guess the group will be a little smaller. Am I right to feel a little hurt by this or am I overreacting as dh seems to think? We weren't invited to his nephew's graduation last year, so I don't know if anyone (including the graduate) even went to that. I know that his family isn't the type for ceremony and celebration, but to really not want to attend your grandson's graduation!? They only live about 75-90 minutes from here, so it's not a hardship to make the trip, and they are young grandparents in good health.

* Dh's sister, her boyfriend, and their kids (16 and 18) were going to be invited, too, but I didn't really expect that they would come. They live near my MIL and FIL. I will extend the invitation to my brother and his family as well, but they are far away, so I don't expect them to come either.

I'll get over it, and Matthew doesn't seem to really care one way or another. Maybe I am making too big a deal over it.

I would feel a little hurt. Your feelings are not an overreaction. (I also have a feeling that I will be going through this in a year)

Come here and vent away!!

 

[babytrees]

I promised myself that I would get some exercise every day this week (one of my funk-busting strategies). So even though I feel like doing it as much as sticking a needle in my eye, I'd better go get started.

that's a great idea!! (mine is to get outside daily...didn't happen yesterday...but will the rest of the week. I have a job fair to go to tomorrow and it will be beautiful the rest of the week.

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

I think it is perfectly normal for some kids to do this! That being said, I think all that has transpired in his life has influenced his thinking. I want to delightedly point out that his "future" maps yours pretty closely. I like the influence I see here!

You know, DS used to talk about what he wanted to be. Like a barista at Starbucks, a bus boy at a restaurant, a Gymboree teacher...
Now he has NO CLUE. He doesn't talk about college, he doesn't even talk about high school. He doesn't talk about careers. I don't think he cares. Of course with all the academic crap we have happening I am sure he HATES school and doesn't care what comes next - he just wants OUT.

I would feel a little hurt. Your feelings are not an overreaction. (I also have a feeling that I will be going through this in a year)

Come here and vent away!!

Beth, I am sorry your IL's are being that way about graduation. I don't think you are overreacting, but I do think you probably need to let it go. Some battle aren't really worth fighting. This is one of them.

Jennifer - Marci is on a cruise that sails out July 31 or Aug. 1 - I can't remember. We are at WDW Aug. 1-15 but I don't think anybody else will be there until Aug. 8.

I think we will be going to the neuropsych on May 11. He has that morning open and I talked with Dadboss about taking Princess to school so I can go in with DS. As far as I can tell that doesn't conflict with anything, so hopefully that will go as planned.

 

[PNO4TE]

I need to get this off my chest. I can't vent it in front of the kids, and dh doesn't seem to understand. Since I don't want to start a fight with him, you are my "lucky" audience.

My in-laws aren't coming to Matthew's graduation, because it will be long and boring (and FIL doesn't really like crowds). We aren't having a party, but I was planning to taking the grandparents (my parents are coming) and any other family* that wants to come out to dinner. I guess the group will be a little smaller. Am I right to feel a little hurt by this or am I overreacting as dh seems to think? We weren't invited to his nephew's graduation last year, so I don't know if anyone (including the graduate) even went to that. I know that his family isn't the type for ceremony and celebration, but to really not want to attend your grandson's graduation!? They only live about 75-90 minutes from here, so it's not a hardship to make the trip, and they are young grandparents in good health.

* Dh's sister, her boyfriend, and their kids (16 and 18) were going to be invited, too, but I didn't really expect that they would come. They live near my MIL and FIL. I will extend the invitation to my brother and his family as well, but they are far away, so I don't expect them to come either.

I'll get over it, and Matthew doesn't seem to really care one way or another. Maybe I am making too big a deal over it.

VENT AWAY!!!

I don't think you are over-reacting at all! Bob's parents never came to either of our girls' HS or college graduations. Bob's reaction was, "Well, you know... it is my family. They are always like this." He was right. It is his family and they are always like that (they were late for our wedding!!!!). But it doesn't make it right.

My take on the whole thing is that people who act like this are the most selfish, arrogant, insulated and isolated folks around. You can't help having your feelings hurt, but they aren't going to change. Sometimes it is easier to get over than others. I am sorry they don't understand the importance of this day to Matthew. He says it doesn't matter, but I am guessing he is just used to their behavior. From someone who has seen this first-hand, I am sorry he has to know this at such a young age.

 

[PNO4TE]

Elizabeth - I am glad you have a tentative appointment for C. I think you are right in believing he hates school so much right now that any thought of the future which might include futher education is so beyond his ability to entertain that he is just blocking it all out.

 

[babytrees]

Elizabeth-I am so glad you have a tentative date for the neuropsych. Our friend Dylan is absolutely brilliant but doesn't really have plans and hates school. Though his way of dealing with it is to get straight A's

 

[Tammi67]

Beth - you've gotten some great advice, and yes, I agree. I would be furious.

Elizabeth - I'm glad you got an appt. with the NP.

Anne Marie - beautiful kitchen! When is the housewarming party?

 

[Pooh67_68]

Tom continued good thoughts for Angie.

 

[bethbuchall]

Thanks for the validation everyone. Just knowing that I'm not the abnormal one (well, on this anyway ) helps a lot. I will let it go. I really do get along well with my in-laws overall, but there are a few little things that get me. The other two grandkids get way more in many ways from them, but I have worked on letting all that go, too.

It's amazing how much better I feel after a 30 minute Leslie Sansone Walk/Jog DVD and 10 minutes of stretching to Disney music.

I said for months that I could figure out why I was in a funk. Think maybe it was all the junk I was shoveling into my mouth and then just sitting on my butt? I am doing this slowly, though, so I don't crash and burn and revert back to my unhealthy ways. I have learned a little from previous failures (or set-backs...I guess they aren't really failures if I have learned something).

Thanks again for letting me vent! It really did help in the letting go process.

 

[bethbuchall]

that's a great idea!! (mine is to get outside daily...didn't happen yesterday...but will the rest of the week. I have a job fair to go to tomorrow and it will be beautiful the rest of the week.

As it gets nicer, I'll add some outside time, too. Good idea!

Much, much luck with the job fair!

 

[babytrees]

Dude just made me smile. I am doing laundry....folding the first load....he must have snuck in the basket as all of the sudden I see a ferret nose sticking out from the warm towels.

 

[bethbuchall]

Elizabeth, I am glad that you have an appointment with the neuropsych. for that!

Matthew thought he wanted to be a pharmacist, and we even visited a few schools. Then he decided on Bioprocess Engineering which is like Chemical Engineering but with a focus on using biomass for biofuels, bioplastics, etc. Then he heard a lecture from the department head, and he is thinking that he'd rather major in chemical engineering. We'll see where he ends up.

Laura hasn't talked much about future careers lately. She used to want to work in animal conservation, but now I have no idea.

Miles still is quite certain that he will be an elementary school teacher, but I'm not sure if that is because that is what he really knows at this point or if he really does want to teach.

 

[bethbuchall]

I guess I need to go get a few more things done around here before the kids get home.

Thanks again for being the DDA family!

 

[PNO4TE]

It's amazing how much better I feel after a 30 minute Leslie Sansone Walk/Jog DVD and 10 minutes of stretching to Disney music.

I love her DVDs!!

 

[PNO4TE]

Dude just made me smile. I am doing laundry....folding the first load....he must have snuck in the basket as all of the sudden I see a ferret nose sticking out from the warm towels.

That would scare the you know what outta me!

 

[PNO4TE]

Off to work... see you all late tonight. Have good afternoons!

 

[babytrees]

That would scare the you know what outta me!

it startled me but then I giggled for a good couple of minutes.

The one that scared me the most was when he stuck his nose out of one of Jim's workshirts....about 2 inches from where I was sitting on the potty.