DD15's boyfriend joining us?

I married my BF from when I was 15, and we have been together for 15 years and married 12 years. He used to go on a lot of trips with us, and my parents were fine with it. Oh and btw..I didn't have my first child till I was 24 and married for 5 years!!!
 
My DDs weren't/aren't even allowed to date until they are 16, and any kind of extended stay would be a big N-O in my book. Boy/girl sleepover? not in a million years...
 
I think 15 is too young for that kind of situation. What if they break up before then? My boyfriend, now husband, went with us on vacation when we were 18 and my parents really didnt want that to happen even then.
 

Thanks to everyone that posted because it just backed up everything I was feeling but was still unsure. Somebody had posted if I was just trying to :stir: but in this world of boy/girl sleepovers and more relaxed attitudes of boy/girl interaction I wanted to make sure that I wasn't off base. I was raised by my grandparents and sometimes feel that I'm already "off" a generation in my views. :hippie: Looks like it's going to be DD15 and myself for a ladies only trip.

I think you'll be much better satisfied during your trip.

We have taken our daughter's boyfriend with us on our last two trips (last summer to Destin and just got back from Orlando), but we do NOT share a room. She's 19, and he's 23. We always rent either a condo or a house, and he has his own room and bathroom. He's no trouble at all and (as someone else mentioned) completely joins in the family vacation but we wouldn't take him if we only had a hotel room.

At 15, I would never have taken a BF along though - condo or not (DD is an only child, and we have taken girls along before).
 
I'd be okay with that if there was a room for the males and a room for the females and the kids weren't left alone.
 
Sorry, but my dd will not be allowed to have a boyfriend until 16, so there is no way he would come!

Um, where on earth are there boy/girl sleepovers? I am assuming the only way this would happen is when the parents don't know about it!
 
My $.02 is that the boy PROBABLY should not come but for reasons other than most posters are giving. I am of the school of thought that teenagers should know that their parents trust them UNLESS they have given them a reason not to. My own parents let me go away with my high school boyfriend for a weekend with his parents. We went to a waterpark and had a blast! There's a couple of circumstances where I would consider allowing my daughter to have her boyfriend along:

1. It was a larger group and DD was the "odd one out" in terms of age and interests. If I had very small children and DD was much older then them, having the boyfriend along would make the trip enjoyable for her where it would otherwise have been boring... then yes, I could see letting him come along.

2. Sleeping arrangements would have to be such that I would not be sharing a room with the boy. I agree with another poster who said it would definately detract from the vacation. There would have to be more room and DD would sleep in a room with me and the boy could sleep elsewhere. (I do think that letting them sleep in the same bed is TOO MUCH trust and would leave the impression that you were condoning sexual intimacy. There's trust and then there's giving them a free for all! You still need to show them that there are LIMITS to what you will tolerate or condone.)

I don't think that a parent should be psycho about keeping their kids away from the opposite sex,though. My boyfriend was allowed in my room as a teenager. We were allowed to lay on my bed and watch movies/TV. The door was never allowed to be completely closed. We NEVER thought about doing anything! (We saved our making out for the back of his parents minivan.) :rolleyes1

If you have a child who is trustworthy, then keeping them from spending a whole week with their boyfriend seems like a missed opportunity for them to see what it means to REALLY be intimate. And by this I mean giving them a glimpse of what it's like to spend nearly every waking moment with someone. It teaches them how important compatibility is. I don't think 15 is too young to learn this. I would think it would help them to make wiser decisions about who they select in the future (assuming that a relationship between 15 year olds would never last).

But what you ultimately have to ask yourself is... can you AFFORD to turn an expensive vacation like this into a "learning experience"? Do you go to Disney often enough that the trip wont be a really unique experience? Or is this a once in a lifetime/rare trip for you and your DD? Also, it sounds to me like you have an opportunity here to spend some quality one on one time with your DD and she doesn't need to have someone else there to keep her company on the thrill rides and such. You're fully available to her and that's all she needs.

I'd explain to her that your reason for saying no is not because you think she's "too young" or that you don't trust her. Those kinds of excuses, be they true or not, are not going to bode well with a teenager who needs to know that you trust and respect her. But if you tell her that you want this to be a special trip for the two of you because she's getting older and you want this memory of just the two of you, then she'll see that your decision is based on more than just a kneejerk reaction of thinking the trip is going to result in unwanted pregnancy or something horrible.

One of the greatest things my parents ever did for our relationship was to give me their trust. By not assuming that I was going to do terrible things, they showed me that I was a WORTHY human being who was capable of making wise choices. And because of this, I NEVER wanted to disappoint them. They never made me feel smothered so I felt no need to rebel.

But each child is different and only you know what your daughter is capable of and where her heart really lies.
 
I would take them as under differant arrangments... but that's not the case, in your case no i wouldn't take a boyfriend... but if there was another room, sure i would let my dd's take a boyfriend if they were 15 and up... or my ds take a girlfriend being 15 and up...
My dh went with his high school girl friend when he was 17 and she was 15 i think... he still has all the photos of it, they dated for 6 years in middle/high school, ect. They did have 2 rooms as the sports resort i think my dh was in one bedroom with her younger brother and his girlfriend and her mom were in the other, they were aloud to do whatever i believe but i'm also pretty sure they did things the parents wouldn't have aproved of at all... yeah ya know what...
that said i would set more limits then that, they would stay in the same park, ect with us meet up at set times, NOT have a room key, ect...
Also i've been my with my DH since i was 15 years old, we did have our first child when i was 16, he was 21, hummmm BUT we have also beat all statisics and been married for 5 1/2 years and have 3 kids, both have higher then high school education (not 4 year degrees but a degree, ect)... Oh we also make enough $$ that we live well beyond our means and go to disney every 1.5 years or so! LOL :)
 
I'm surprised you are considering this. No way would I take a boyfriend at that age and I cannot imagine his parents would allow this. Maybe I'm old school...
 
Since you're going to be in one small room...no. If you had more family members going and you could do a "girls" room and a "boys" room, maybe.

When I was in high school I had a friend who's parents took her boyfriend with them to Switzerland. There were a total of 6 people, so it wasn't quite so intimate with just two teens going off all the time. He was very close to their family, and they genuinely wanted to do this for him. Is this kid an honorary son for you? If not, I would definitely not consider it.

I agree, you at least need a girls room and a boys room.

For my youngest son's graduation, we invited both of the boy's girlfriends. Age 19/19 and 18/18. Me and the girls had one room at All-Stars, and hubby and the boys had the other room at All-Stars. It was still pretty cramped.
 
I think you are making a wise choice in keeping this a mom/daughter trip. You'll have a great time.

My DD (17) has had the same BF (18) for almost 2 1/2 years & he hasn't been on a vacation with us. He went to the beach with us for one night this past summer & that took some serious convincing on DD's part.

I just don't see the need to invite a BF along - in fact, we don't take friends either. Our vacation time is for our family.

Um, where on earth are there boy/girl sleepovers? I am assuming the only way this would happen is when the parents don't know about it!
kellia - sadly, this is the "in thing" to do - at least in our area. My DD was invited to a co-ed sleepover at 9 years old. :rotfl: Yeah, right!!!!! That certainly didn't happen.

Some parents just don't think anything of it, which I don't understand. Why would you promote a co-ed sleepover. There is nothing good that can come out of it.

That being said, we have had a few post homecoming/prom parties & the guys have stayed late (1 or 2 a.m.) but no sleepovers!!!!!
 
I'm with everyone else: NO. He'd have to stay home.

I guess I'm completely old-fashioned, but I don't think boyfriends/girlfriends should be sharing vacations. We -- "we" meaning society today -- are hurrying to do everything with boyfriends/girlfriends, leaving nothing new and special and unique for the person we choose to marry, so that marriage is just one more relationship in a string of relationships . . . then we wonder why no one's marriage works out anymore!
 
I guess I'm completely old-fashioned, but I don't think boyfriends/girlfriends should be sharing vacations. We -- "we" meaning society today -- are hurrying to do everything with boyfriends/girlfriends, leaving nothing new and special and unique for the person we choose to marry, so that marriage is just one more relationship in a string of relationships . . . then we wonder why no one's marriage works out anymore!

I agree - I don't get the BF/GF thing on family vacations & I think I'm a fairly liberal parent.
 
i just keeping thinking of that episode of 'roseanne' where the whole family goes to wdw and they bring along darlene's boyfriend david. a few months later darlene announces she pregnant and her father (dan) says 'where the hell did that happen?'. roseanne looks at him and sez 'we think somewhere between tomorrowland and fantasyland-but we have'nt narrowed it down to which ride'.:scared1:
 
kellia - sadly, this is the "in thing" to do - at least in our area. My DD was invited to a co-ed sleepover at 9 years old. :rotfl: Yeah, right!!!!! That certainly didn't happen.

Some parents just don't think anything of it, which I don't understand. Why would you promote a co-ed sleepover. There is nothing good that can come out of it.

That being said, we have had a few post homecoming/prom parties & the guys have stayed late (1 or 2 a.m.) but no sleepovers!!!!![/QUOTE]

I've heard of this too... especially from my 16 year old cousin Lindsay :scared1: It won't be happening in my house, but I can't believe some of the stories I hear from Lindsay! I mean, I know what I was sneaking around doing at that age (yikes... hides head) but so many kids aren't even worried about hiding stuff WAY worse than what I was even thinking of doing!
 
We are taking my niece's BF with us on our next Disney trip (she's 17, he's 19). However, they will not have their own room and will not be allowed to spend huge amounts of "alone time" together. My niece will be nearly 18 by that time, though. I know my sister would not have allowed it at age 15. She didn't even allow my niece to date until she was 16, as another poster had also stated.

Actually, when my sister first ran the idea past me, my main concern was "what if they break up by then? He does realize that his air ticket is non-refundable, right?" and my sister replied "he says that even if they break up, he's still going." Yeah, right! Because it wouldn't be awkward at all to spend an entire week with your ex-girlfriend and her family at DW! :rotfl:

Gotta Get To Disney! :moped:
 
I would say no. I'm 12, and I know I wouldn't do that. They will probably break up soon, and then it will have no point in going. I agree, that once they are 18, they are free to go. They'll be more mature ( hopefully ;) ) and now if it's worth it or not.
 












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