DD wants a purity ring

[LiveYourLife]

And me to the Creepy Camp. The whole concept is strange. However, to each their own.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Purity rings have overtaken my computer screen!

 

[luvmy3]

Wow-- that just took creepy to another whole level-- not only did the father give her the ring but for gave it for valentines day- wow, that just makes my skin crawl!!

I so agree. I think its an odd gift to give your dd, but when its a Valentine's gift, it really makes my "ick" meter go off.
A box of candy would have been just fine.......

 

[Acklander]

" We are very close to a father who purchased 1 for his daughter(16) Valentines I can faithfully say she will keep her promise to both her earthly father and the one she worships!!

How can you be so sure?

 

[luvsJack]

Dd's bff's mom gave the bff a purity ring for her 15th birthday. Do y'all find that creepy too?

 

[disykat]

Uhh You do realize this is a ring to promote a promise of staying pure until you marry?? Yes her Father the first man to love her the man that will hand her off to her husband at the alter!! This makes skin crawl WHY??? This isn't an engagement ring?!?

Ick. I didn't have my dad "give me away" and it always surprises me that so many brides still do this, so that is not a comparison that works for me.

Oh, and btw, I waited and believe strongly in that. I'm what most people would consider quite conservative. However, God gave me a mind of my own and I just don't believe women somehow belong to the men who love them.

 

[LiveYourLife]

Here are my thoughts. Do I think children under the age of 18 need to be having sex? No. However, I do think that sex is a crucial part to maintaining a healthy relationship. If a 27 year old is in a long term relationship with someone, go ahead and have sex before getting married. I'm not saying that compatibility in the sack is make it or break it for a marriage, but it certainly swings the pendulum towards break it and can be a contributing factor in divorce in the long run.

That is why the concept of a purity ring, or just plain abstaining until marriage is strange to me.

 

[luvmy3]

Dd's bff's mom gave the bff a purity ring for her 15th birthday. Do y'all find that creepy too?

To be honest I find the whole giving a purity ring as a gift thing to be a little creepy. I think a father giving his dd a purity ring for Valentines is off the charts creepy.

 

[LiveYourLife]

To be honest I find the whole giving a purity ring as a gift thing to be a little creepy. I think a father giving his dd a purity ring for Valentines is off the charts creepy.

Agreed, 200%.

 

[A_Princess'_Daddy]

DH and I never lived together and have been married a long time. Virtually none of our close friends lived together before marriage and all of them are still married. In my family, most of the ones who lived together prior to marriage got divorced. The ones who waited to live together until marriage.....only one got divorced. Maybe it has more to do with you attitude toward marriage than whether you live together or not.

I am not a big fan of living together before marriage and hope DD does not want to do that.

I agree with this.

DW and I lived together for about a year before we were married, mainly due to the economics, but we already knew that we were going to get married. I have friends who lived together before marriage and friends who did not. I have friends who have gotten divorced. There is a very high correlation (perhaps a perfect correlation, as far as I can tell) between those friends who have gotten divorced and whether their parents were also divorced. I also have friends who are still married who have parents who were divorced, but I know of no friends who got divorced whose parents were still married, if that makes sense. I know my experience is unusual, and that couples from happily married parents do divorce, but I think that children who grow up watching their parents divorce (for whatever reason, right or wrong) are more likely to accept it as normal versus those who do not grow up in a family where divorce happens.

Put another way, I was raised that marriage is for life. Infidelity and abuse, which are perhaps the only two legitimate reasons for divorce, are not legitimate actions in a marriage, and therefore I'd never commit either in my marriage. Everything else can be worked on and worked out. In my family, with over 100 first cousins (yes, we are a fertile people!), I know of only one cousin who has been divorced. All aunts and uncles married for life. All grandparents and great-grandparents married for life. My parents married for life until my mother died. I expect to be married for life, as well.

 

[A_Princess'_Daddy]

To be honest I find the whole giving a purity ring as a gift thing to be a little creepy. I think a father giving his dd a purity ring for Valentines is off the charts creepy.

I agree! My issue with giving a purity ring as a gift is the de facto statement of "here, I've made your choice for you, you shall be chaste". As a parent, my role is to guide my children and share my values with them, not to actively or passively control their bodies!

And as I said upthread, as to a father giving it to his daughter (and especially in the aforementioned manner):

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!

 

[ashley0139]

I agree! My issue with giving a purity ring as a gift is the de facto statement of "here, I've made your choice for you, you shall be chaste". As a parent, my role is to guide my children and share my values with them, not to actively or passively control their bodies!

And as I said upthread, as to a father giving it to his daughter (and especially in the aforementioned manner):

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!

Exactly. I don't like the idea of a purity ring in general, but why does a parent get to make the decision for the child? THAT is creepy.

 

[Sabeking]

Here are my thoughts. Do I think children under the age of 18 need to be having sex? No. However, I do think that sex is a crucial part to maintaining a healthy relationship. If a 27 year old is in a long term relationship with someone, go ahead and have sex before getting married. I'm not saying that compatibility in the sack is make it or break it for a marriage, but it certainly swings the pendulum towards break it and can be a contributing factor in divorce in the long run.

That is why the concept of a purity ring, or just plain abstaining until marriage is strange to me.

I am not surprised that you say you think it is strange because this is what some Christians do based on their belief in the Bible and what it says. So, if you don't believe in the Bible then you might think it is strange. I believe age 11 is young and would not chose to introduce the concept that young. On the other hand having worked in crisis pregnancy for eleven years you would not believe the things I have seen

Christians believe that God created sex to enjoy your spouse and procreate. Just a Christian perspective. The beauty is we were all given the right to choose whatever we believe and were never forced.

 

[LiveYourLife]

I am not surprised that you say you think it is strange because this is what some Christians do based on their belief in the Bible and what it says. So, if you don't believe in the Bible then you might think it is strange. I believe age 11 is young and would not chose to introduce the concept that young. On the other hand having worked in crisis pregnancy for eleven years you would not believe the things I have seen

Christians believe that God created sex to enjoy your spouse and procreate. Just a Christian perspective. The beauty is we were all given the right to choose whatever we believe and were never forced.

Please don't assume things about me. I'm not going to engage further, as religion is not up for discussion on the DIS.

 

[luvsJack]

I agree! My issue with giving a purity ring as a gift is the de facto statement of "here, I've made your choice for you, you shall be chaste". As a parent, my role is to guide my children and share my values with them, not to actively or passively control their bodies!

And as I said upthread, as to a father giving it to his daughter (and especially in the aforementioned manner):

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!

I can't say for the dad in the pp but for the mom in my example there was no choice made for the dd. It was a decision already made by the girl and related to her mom. The mom just picked out the ring.

 

[Jaxs27]

Here are my thoughts. While I would not buy my dd a purity ring, I will promote abstinence. I am not an active Christian and I did have sex before marriage. I thought you had to try it out before you committed. I also had a lot of bad sex before marriage. When my cousin got married, she was a virgin. I was shocked and asked her how she knows they will be compatible and what if it is really bad? She responded, "How will I know, since he will be my only one." That really sunk in and it is very true. Another thing that is true for me anyhow, is that sex before marriage was often awkward, I didn't fully love them and didn't fully feel comfortable with them, so I didn't really enjoy it. Heck, sex with my husband before marriage wasn't as good as it is now. Maybe that is not the case for everyone, but I think love & comfort has a lot more to do with enjoyment then people give it credit. I really hope my dd waits until she is married and I have never talked to anyone who has waited, that regretted it. I have talked to MANY people who regretted having sex before though.

 

[luvsJack]

Again many of you are missing the point. Even if a parent buys the ring for the wearer, without the meaning behind it which is a promise made by the person wearing the ring, it is just a ring. The promise to God makes it a purity ring.

 

[Crystal Brewer]

How can you be so sure?

This is a child whom at the age of 16 is VERY active in her FAITH-Maybe some do not understand such but she was not "forced" into any decision I could write all night on the things she does to display her faith Her mother left when she was young therefore her father raised her YES he met a lady whom is now her step mom yet she knows the trials of life and were taught them very young APOLOGIES to those who may find it grotesque yet I found it tear jerking when she posted the pic of her ring on FB so excited to announce such a step in her faith

 

[Sabeking]

Please don't assume things about me. I'm not going to engage further, as religion is not up for discussion on the DIS.

I don't have to assume anything; you have spoken loud and clearly in all 285 posts on many subjects!

 

[luvsJack]

This is a child whom at the age of 16 is VERY active in her FAITH-Maybe some do not understand such but she was not "forced" into any decision I could write all night on the things she does to display her faith Her mother left when she was young therefore her father raised her YES he met a lady whom is now her step mom yet she knows the trials of life and were taught them very young APOLOGIES to those who may find it grotesque yet I

found it tear jerking when she posted the pic of her ring on FB so excited to announce such a step in her faith

Don't apologise. i think its very touching.

Her father treasures her and supports her faith. Nothing could be more beautiful