DBF's mom....vent

[EsmeraldaX]

DBF's mom annoys me. I'm sorry but the woman really just rankles my hide sometimes.

DBF & I have lived together for 2 years. We are quite happy. But his mom is always expecting him to just drop what he's doing and run to her.

Keep in mind he has not 1, not 2 but FOUR able bodied male siblings and a sister all within 5 miles.

Just because we are the only ones with no kids, she assumes that we have no lives.

Now, she's helped us out in the past, only charged us $500 for the use of her Orlando timeshare for a week last year. So I feel kind of bad.

But today is the first nice day we have had in literally about a week. DBF and I planned a nice long walk with our dog. We don't live in a very safe area and I don't like walking alone. We were going to walk and take pictures outside. I was so looking forward to this. We have plans tomorrow as well to spend the day at the New England Aquarium and IMax theater because DBF won passes.

So last night SHE informs him that he and one of his other brothers are to come over, help her clean up her den and then go pick up a heavy desk and set it up for her. Because his brother has plans Sunday, this has to be done either today or tomorrow.

Why not make his brother cancel his plans for Sunday?!?! Why does DBF have to ditch our plans today (we chose today over tomorrow) to do this? Where are the other 4 siblings? This will take the rest of the daylight hours after we get out of work, so there is no way we can walk when he's done. Saturday we will be at the Aquarium all day and Sunday it's going to rain.

I'm so furious right now. I am just going to go out walking alone I told him, and now he is guilt tripping me into thinking that I'm the witch who doesn't respect his mom...

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

[/vent]

 

[MHopkins2]

Honestly? If I were you, I'd be more mad at DBF than his mom. She pulls that crap because he lets her get away with it. (And she'll do it forever if he doesn't put a stop to it.)

 

[EsmeraldaX]

Originally posted by MHopkins2
Honestly? If I were you, I'd be more mad at DBF than his mom. She pulls that crap because he lets her get away with it. (And she'll do it forever if he doesn't put a stop to it.)

Oh a signifigant portrion of my annoyance goes to him, but I have witnessed first hand the guilt she pulls on him if he doesn't do her bidding.

I cut him a little slack since he IS the only one of her kids who pays any attention to her at all, and he feels like since no one else does, he has to make up for it, but still....

I'm just blowing steam.

 

[browneyes]

Originally posted by MHopkins2
Honestly? If I were you, I'd be more mad at DBF than his mom. She pulls that crap because he lets her get away with it. (And she'll do it forever if he doesn't put a stop to it.)

 

[MHopkins2]

Originally posted by EsmeraldaX
I'm just blowing steam.

I know, sorry! Couldn't help myself, because I've had to deal with similar crap so many times myself.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Oh yea I know what you mean except it is MY parents that want my husband! Oh and me too sometimes.
If I can't do it I tell them NO. Dh has learned to do it as well otherwise they would bleed us dry!

 

[EsmeraldaX]

Originally posted by The Mystery Machine
Oh yea I know what you mean except it is MY parents that want my husband! Oh and me too sometimes.
If I can't do it I tell them NO. Dh has learned to do it as well otherwise they would bleed us dry!

He just will not say NO to her. I've heard him try and she comes down pretty hard when he does.

I'm just so annoyed.

 

[Microcell]

Keep in mind if you ever talk mariage that he will always put her first, it sounds like, so think long and hard if you want to deal with it forever.

 

[EsmeraldaX]

Originally posted by Microcell
Keep in mind if you ever talk mariage that he will always put her first, it sounds like, so think long and hard if you want to deal with it forever.

We never plan on getting married to each other (or anyone else). But if this continues, our LTR may be near an end because I'm getting kind of sick of it.

It's not that I don't like her, it's just that I'm sick of the assumption that we are never busy.

 

[Tinkerbutt]

My parents are like your DBF's and this is what I have learned...you basically have 2 choices....cut them out of your life or deal with it. No amount of talking or discussing gets you anywhere...trust me! By dealing with it I don't mean jump to their every whim but you say No...they guilt you, get angry with you etc..but it passes b/c they too do not want you out of their lives. Sometimes you don't talk for a week or so...or even a month or two but it blows over. I still have a problem saying no to my dad...and when I do I usually have some lame, pathetic excuse as to why I can't as opposed to just saying I just don't want too. BUT...at least I'm saying no and thats a start! It does get easier...be mad at you DBF...your DBF's mother does it b/c she can. He is the one that needs to change....the mother won't. Trust me! Good luck!

 

[Winka]

I'd screen my calls.