Daycare/preschool-Concerned, what would you do? Update post 71

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Why would you report the school?

You are not going to find the perfect center or school where nothing ever happens. And kids are not usually kicked out for this kind of thing. If a center kicked out every kid that did something inappropriate, pretty soon they would have no kids and would go bankrupt.

These things should be dealt with and the OP should make sure the center is taking every action possible to prevent another incident (although, totally prevention is impossible). But, imho, pulling her child is a bit of an overreaction and a panicked reaction.

Someone earlier posted that how it is handled is done so privately.

I'd want to make sure it was handled properly.

Panicked reaction? Perhaps. But it happened--and it can't be undone and why it happened is of no concern to me. It can happen again and I would not want my child to be around to witness it--or become the victim of it. It is what *I* would do....the opinion requested by the OP.

 

[ccgirl]

Wow!!! What a situation for your daughter to see. I am so sorry she had to see that. I probably would have handled it like you did, except leaving the part out about children needing to be punished. I would make sure my DD knows that no one should ever do that do her and she should let me know immediately if it did, that she wouldn't get in trouble. By telling children that other children would get in trouble if they did, it makes children not want to tell when it happens to them (by adults or anyone) for fear of getting in trouble. Definitely let them know it is inappropriate though. I also wouldn't tell the child that children do that because adults did that to them. That is just spreading rumors. I would also report the language Daisey is using. I know kids will hear things but it still doesn't make things right. I use the same logic another poster uses. My DD always comes home and asks me what a word means before she uses it and she does not get in trouble when asking for a definition. Sometimes I will even tell her that is a very bad word, she doesn't need to know the meaning but she is to NEVER say it again. Good luck with what you decide. Keep us posted, I'm curious how this will be handled.

To Art - I'm just going to say one thing as everyone is entitled to their own opinions. What if the child if from a single parent home. Should that parent not work???

 

[MaumeeMom]

OP, I'm sorry that you have to deal with this. If you like the school and are happy with the teachers, I wouldn't pull your DD out but I would talk to the director to make sure that they know how upset you are.

I think that I would also report what you know to the authorities. If it has already been reported by the center, then no harm done. If they haven't reported it - it should be.

Good luck.

Children should be home with their mothers at that age not being raised by strangers in a day care. It's best that they get raised with your values not others. Please don't take this wrong. It just saddens me to see little one's, even newborns in day cares.

Sorry, I try not to post negative things but, IMO, this is just an ignorant statement. Many children thrive in the daycare system. For some, this is the only way that they can work and make ends meet. For others, like me, it is actually a choice.

With my first child, I had to work and DS did great at daycare. The teachers, who share the same values that we teach at home, became extended family and we cried on his last day of school. When he attended Kindergarten he was far ahead of the other children and it is because he had already spent time in an educational environment.

With our second child, I chose to send him to "school" a few days a week. He has many of the same teachers that his brother had and loves them as much as DS#1 does. He has a chance to interact with other children his age and has educational opportunities that I could not give him here at home.

You are entitled to your opinion just as I am entitled to disagree with you, and I wholeheartedly disagree.

 

[luvsJack]

Someone earlier posted that how it is handled is done so privately.

I'd want to make sure it was handled properly.

Panicked reaction? Perhaps. But it happened--and it can't be undone and why it happened is of no concern to me. It can happen again and I would not want my child to be around to witness it--or become the victim of it. It is what *I* would do....the opinion requested by the OP.

I can respect that you are answering with what you would do and of course everyone is going to handle any one situation differently.

The action taken for the two children in question is private and cannot be shared with other parents. And, as parents, we have to realize that the center has to make choices that are best for all of the children and for the center itself.

When I said to make sure they are preventing it from happening again, I meant to discuss possible preventive measures the center can take to make sure all of the children are supervised as close to 100% of the time as humanly possible. If these two children are not removed then they should NEVER be out of an adults sight.

 

[daisax]

My DD knows that it is wrong to show her "privates" and I just told her that they should be punished for what they did.

I don't know that you want to send the message that people finding out about somebody touching you means YOU should be punished.

Maybe better to point out that maybe Daisy didn't KNOW that that's not right, because she should have gone to the teacher right away instead of doing it.

 

[DizBelle]

Did I miss where it was indicated that Daisy initiated this behavior? How do we know the boy didn't initiate it?

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I can respect that you are answering with what you would do and of course everyone is going to handle any one situation differently.

The action taken for the two children in question is private and cannot be shared with other parents. And, as parents, we have to realize that the center has to make choices that are best for all of the children and for the center itself.

When I said to make sure they are preventing it from happening again, I meant to discuss possible preventive measures the center can take to make sure all of the children are supervised as close to 100% of the time as humanly possible. If these two children are not removed then they should NEVER be out of an adults sight.

It is private--but while I don't have a right to know what will happen with them specifically, I have a right to make sure that a childcare environment that I utilize is safe for my child. Since they cannot guarantee to me that child wont' do that to my child--or do it to some other child--at least having a third party authority looking on them will at least not let them sweep it under the rug.

It is not in the best interest of my child to trust a day care center, who for some reason allowed the act to happen whether by accident or the kids taking advantage of the opportunity, to make sure the place is adequately safe for any child.

 

[daisy2jae]

Children should be home with their mothers at that age not being raised by strangers in a day care. It's best that they get raised with your values not others. Please don't take this wrong. It just saddens me to see little one's, even newborns in day cares.

Shocked! I've been doing home daycare for 8 years. Some of my parents enjoy going to work each day. The time they spending before and after is even better b/c of it they have told me. Some have to work to pay the bills including single parents. I don't judge my daycare parents for why they need my service. I provide a safe and loving place. I don't feel we have the right to judge parents on this choice. They make the choice that is the right thing for their family not for your family! I feel sad for you that you have to judge someone over one choice they've made.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Children should be home with their mothers at that age not being raised by strangers in a day care. It's best that they get raised with your values not others. Please don't take this wrong. It just saddens me to see little one's, even newborns in day cares.

The children in question are not newborns....

You don't know if OP is a SAHM or works while her child is in Pre-K....


Your opinion is quite irrelevant to what has occurred and there is no way to take it BUT the wrong way.

BTW--there are nicer ways to share such opinions.

 

[luvsJack]

It is private--but while I don't have a right to know what will happen with them specifically, I have a right to make sure that a childcare environment that I utilize is safe for my child. Since they cannot guarantee to me that child wont' do that to my child--or do it to some other child--at least having a third party authority looking on them will at least not let them sweep it under the rug.

It is not in the best interest of my child to trust a day care center, who for some reason allowed the act to happen whether by accident or the kids taking advantage of the opportunity, to make sure the place is adequately safe for any child.

I see what you mean and you are right no one can guarantee that something like this won't happen. I would hope,too, that its not swept under the rug, so maybe reporting the incident yourself would make sure that doesn't happen. I tend to look at these things as what I would do as a child care provider and forget there are those that don't do the right thing.

Just a note: If anyone having this type of incident did decide to pull their child out of the center, they still need to talk to their new center about supervision on the playground and how it is handled. There may be blind spots on their playground that they don't even realize is there.

I am in no saying the center this took place in was lax; things really can happen when you think you have all the bases covered. This type of thing can happen in any center anywhere and sometimes it takes something happening for the hole in supervision to really show up.

 

[DVCJones]

I have learned that the incident is indeed being taken care of. Also, I am happy with the way it is being handled.

I also learned from the director that my DD was on her way to get a teacher at the same time one was on her way over to check out what was going on. So I am very proud of my DD and the fact she knew what to do.

BTW...Daisy did initiate it.

Sadly, I don't think Daisy will be back though.

 

[Rora]

So glad to hear this news!! Your DD is a smart girl!

 

[MamaLema]

Children should be home with their mothers at that age not being raised by strangers in a day care. It's best that they get raised with your values not others. Please don't take this wrong. It just saddens me to see little one's, even newborns in day cares.

I am in no position to judge anyone, but as a daycare worker, I can tell you first hand that there a LOT of children out there that are not better off at home.

 

[Sinderelli]

I am in no position to judge anyone, but as a daycare worker, I can tell you first hand that there a LOT of children out there that are not better off at home.

 

[LaurenLC]

Children should be home with their mothers at that age not being raised by strangers in a day care. It's best that they get raised with your values not others. Please don't take this wrong. It just saddens me to see little one's, even newborns in day cares.

And I THINK that I want to provide the best that I can for MY child, and that might mean that I need to work.... Our child will NOT be raised by strangers . We have taken more time finding the right person to care for OUR child than we have anything else... EVER.
I also think it's pretty daring to post something like that on a message about daycare.

 

[lillygator]

sounds like he was just stirring the pot anyway.

 

[OceanAnnie]

Thanks for the update. I'm glad it's being handled.

 

[disneyismyname]

Children should be home with their mothers at that age not being raised by strangers in a day care. It's best that they get raised with your values not others. Please don't take this wrong. It just saddens me to see little one's, even newborns in day cares.

It's your opinion...but my brother and I were in day care because my mother divorced my booze hound father and she had to go to work. She wanted to be a stay at home mom but she couldn't afford to do that, some people are not equiped with that privilage.

 

[4nana]

I have learned that the incident is indeed being taken care of. Also, I am happy with the way it is being handled.

I also learned from the director that my DD was on her way to get a teacher at the same time one was on her way over to check out what was going on. So I am very proud of my DD and the fact she knew what to do.

BTW...Daisy did initiate it.

Sadly, I don't think Daisy will be back though.

Thank you for the update. Many of us have been concerned for the well being of your little DD, as well as all the other children and pray they'll be ok.
I am relieved the incident is being properly handled. Hopefully poor little Daisy will be getting the love, guidance and help she may desperately need.

 

[happygirl]

Poor little Daisy, I hate that she got kicked out of that school. If she is being abused this isn't going to help the situation with her.

OP what a good girl you must have to go and get the teacher