Daycare - Help please!!

[minkydog]

I hope it works out wonderfully. I have used daycare with all three of my kids, in different forms and different reasons. My kids' favorite was always the daycare center. They just loved the structure, the toys, the other kids. We had a few tears in the mornings, but really, not for long. They were sometimes hard to tear away in the afternoon, so there were some tantrums and tears then--don't be surprised if she holds it in until she sees you.

Hope you mother recovers nicely. I know this feels like a crisis now(it is!) but this could be a very good thing for all of you. Good luck!

 

[Lisa_Belle]

WDWorBUST:

My DD has always loved daycare and now preschool. In Arkansas, I've paid a little over $100/week. I first enrolled her in daycare when she was about a year old (it even included a hot lunch in the price). We changed to a preschool that filters into an elementary school when she was almost 3, but she still keeps in touch with a couple of friends she made in daycare. Not only do kids have fun interacting with other kids their same age, but they also do a lot of crafts and some learning activities.

Don't forget that daycare expenses are tax deductible if you place your child so you can work (even part time). However, the center MUST have a tax ID number.

If, by chance, your DD doesn't like the first center, try a couple of more. We had a positive experience, but I do know a couple of people in the same daycare who didn't. Good luck!

 

[WDWorBUST]

You know it's always nice to know you aren't the only one in a certain situation. Thanks to everyone for the kinds words of encouragement. I feel very blessed that my mother has been able to care for my DD but I also think that this will be a good experience for her. No matter how hard it is on me. She did great when I left this morning - hugs and kisses and bye bye. She did cry a little later when she realized that I wasn't there. But the teacher said it wasn't for long. Also my boss's dd attends school there (day camp this summer) and she had to drop off her dd's swimsuit and checked on Sam for me and said she was doing great. So that helps. I will be going to pick her up at noon today so I'm looking forward to seeing her and see what she has to say about the whole experience.

 

[crisi]

Hey guys! I run a licensed in-home daycare out of my house. We are located in Indiana. I do not understand why some people are saying that in-home daycare is such a bad thing. ......

My problems with home daycare.....

I can't have your getting sick be my problem.

I can't have your vacation be my problem.

I can't have your kids being sick turn into my kids being sick because you don't have a place your kids can be where they don't expose my kids.

With a daycare center, staff scheduling takes care of sick days (on occation the center will bring in extra staff from another center if the flu wipes up several teachers, usually the administrators step in) and vacations. People with obviously sick kids leave their kids at home (well, they are supposed to).

I'm sure you do a great job with kids - I think most home daycare providers probably do, I just don't have time to deal with someone who might call me up at 6:30am and say "I'm throwing up, you'll have to find something to do with your kids today."

 

[crisi]

I was thinking about this a little more.

I like having my kids in age appropriate "classrooms" With a mixed bunch, you don't have the time to dedicate to everyone doing the same age appropriate activities that a center does.

I like the security of a corporate center. Too many coworkers and friends have been left scrambling when their daycare mom says "you know, I've decided I'm not doing this anymore." Or, "we are moving to another end of town, my husband is switching jobs." Yeah, I know you love it and this what you do, but that's what their daycare mom said too when asked.

I like knowing religion isn't going to slip in - at least no officially - as I said, we are a minority religion and its difficult. Public schools and corporate day care centers make it a little easier - they aren't completely shielded, but I worry less about what hard questions I'm going to have to answer today.

I like knowing that there are other adults supervising the adults watching my kids. There are kooks out there, and I don't want to be guilty of reading a "wonderful day care mom" wrong and discovering my kids are getting spanked or allowed to watch violent TV or whatever. You are probably great, but these are my kids, I need to be more sure than "you seem great." I want oversight.

On the other hand, my aunt was SHOCKED that I'd put my kids in a center (I don't think she has forgiven me yet) because home daycare was, in her mind, such a superior option. And it did work great for her. So I don't think your business will dry up, it just isn't for me.

 

[barkley]

i think there are pros and cons with both centers and home daycares. my first college degree was in early childhood education and i am still qualified to act as director for a lic. facility, but i learned pretty quickly going through the program and working on staff at a variety of centers (a requirement in my college program) that because most states don't have the highest criteria for preschool staff there are many people hired with very poor skills in working with children (some states allow that as long as the staff is "currently pursuing" ece units they are allowed to work without a master teacher-so a person taking 1-3 unit ece class can be left to manage an entire group of kids). there is also massive turn-over in centers, just the nature of low paying jobs with little or more likely-no benefits.

on the other hand-some states don't require any lic. if a family home daycare has less than a certain number of kids, and if they exceed that the lic. requirement is only that the site has been inspected, the operator has taken a first aide/cpr class and perhaps some sort of county run workshop. so an operator can have absolutly no ece training.

i think whereever a person is considering enrolling their child, they need to find out what the minimum state standards are, ensure that the staff actualy meet those standards, find out the health requirements for the children attending (it was scary to see how many centers allowed kids to enroll with their immunization/health clearance records pending-and months later when a huge outbreak of something occured it was traced back to a child that did'nt meet the legal criteria to attend a group daycare setting ). i also think you need to check and see who in a private home (if it's lic.) is covered under their lic.-i was appaled to find that a friend who operated a lic. in home daycare listed her husband on the paperwork just for the convenience of being able to do all her errands/salon appointments and such on his day off (um, i don't think your dh letting the kids watch videos all day while he's working in the garage is what the parents have in mind as quality daycare ). i also would be concerned if a private operator asked for permission for the kids to go in their private car (it's one thing if they operate a bsns. where they pick-up or drop off kindergarteners at the local elementary school, another thing all together if they're just dragging the kids along when grocery shopping).

it's a hard call-i envy anyone who has a trusted friend or family member who can provide care for a child.

 

[KristinU]

OP, hopefully your pick-up today will go like mine yesterday...I ended up sitting at the little table playing play-doh with my DS and his teacher and his little friends for a good 25 minutes yesterday afternoon Sometimes it is a pain, but I love that DS sometimes doesn't want to leave when I pick him up. It also gives me time to chat with his teacher and get to know his little friends too.

My DS in a center that we love and has been there since he was 9 months old. We do pay quite a bit since we live on the East Coast, and we pay about $40-50 more per week than another center I looked at in our town, but the director at our center explained her philosophy to pay well and have a high retention rate and I really agree. In the year and a half that my DS has been there we've lost one of his teachers to a pregnancy (she was going to be a SAHM once her child arrived) and that's it. His center also provides a square hot lunch and all snacks, which the other place didn't, so that weighs in to the financial side.

We chose a center over in-home because of many of the reasons that Crisi mentioned...and that I was a daycare kid and had been in both settings and I personally liked the center I attended better than the two in-home providers I had. That's absolutely not to say that there aren't wonderful in-home providers, in-home just wasn't the right fit for our family just like a center isn't the right fit for other families.

Hopefully the OP's DD will have a great summer making new friends, it sounds like she's off to a good start.

 

[kkevcamsmom]

Crisi: You do make some good points. I also do home daycare and let me tell you how I (personally in my daycare) deal with the things you stated:

I can't have your getting sick be my problem.

If I even think I maybe getting so sick I can't deal with kids I call the night before. Also even if I am sick lots of times I still take kids. Why?? Because whatever I have they have already been exposed to and I still have my kids, no break for me anyway, what's one or two more. I have had to call off daycare for sickness a total of 2 times in 6 yrs. Once I had strep, had to take the week off, luckily it was Thanksgiving week and my parents were taking 1/2 the week off anyway. One time was when my boys had Rotovirus and I had to take 10 days off, again my luck, both my parents were taking vacation that week.

I can't have your kids being sick turn into my kids being sick because you don't have a place your kids can be where they don't expose my kids.

Keep in mind, whatever my kids have yours are going to get and the other way around too. By the time one child show symptoms the others are already exposed. This happens in centers, churches, grocery stores. I personally think home daycares deal with this better because of the smaller number of kids, noses are wiped more, hands are washed more. I also have a spot for mildly sick kids but I also have to follow the same rules as the schools in our area. Fever, throwing up, runs...., mine or yours sorry your kid is going home wether you are at a center or home daycare.

I can't have your vacation be my problem.

My vacations are planned well in advance. I let my parents know 3-6 months before when I will be on vacation. In April 06 I had surgery, that was my 2 week vacation time, my parents knew in Nov 05 when I was having surgery. They also know that we are going to WDW in January, 7 months notice. I also have it written into my contract that they, the parents are responsible for back up care, no back up care, not my problem.

I like having my kids in age appropriate "classrooms" With a mixed bunch, you don't have the time to dedicate to everyone doing the same age appropriate activities that a center does.

I have 4 kids in my care, 5, 3, 3 and 11 months. I do not find it hard to give each on time to work on age appropriate things. Also I can guarentee that at more than one time during the day all kids get one on one attention. I do not count feeding or changing times one on one time, that is just care time.

I like the security of a corporate center. Too many coworkers and friends have been left scrambling when their daycare mom says "you know, I've decided I'm not doing this anymore." Or, "we are moving to another end of town, my husband is switching jobs." Yeah, I know you love it and this what you do, but that's what their daycare mom said too when asked.

HA!! I had my DD15 in three daycare centers when she was younger, all three shut down. I was give NO MORE than 2 days notice. One tip... some home daycare providers will say this if they want to get rid of a child but are chicken to tell the parents. I keep notes on my kids and if there is a problem we try to work it out, if not the child will go. I give a 2 week notice but may extend it if needed. If they really are deciding not to continue care, moving etc... they should be able to give proper notice. I think it's rude to just up and drop someone like that.

I like knowing religion isn't going to slip in - at least no officially - as I said, we are a minority religion and its difficult. Public schools and corporate day care centers make it a little easier - they aren't completely shielded, but I worry less about what hard questions I'm going to have to answer today.

I state in my policy that no religion is taught here. That goes both ways. I don't mind if someone wants to quietly pray or whatever but there is no preaching allowed.


I like knowing that there are other adults supervising the adults watching my kids. There are kooks out there, and I don't want to be guilty of reading a "wonderful day care mom" wrong and discovering my kids are getting spanked or allowed to watch violent TV or whatever. You are probably great, but these are my kids, I need to be more sure than "you seem great." I want oversight.

There are kooks but they can be in centers too. If youe kids were to be spanked, in most states that is against the law for a provider to do, report them, the only way to weed out the bad is to force them out. They are your kids and the most important job you will ever have. I always tell parents I am interviewing that if they have one ounce of "I don't want my kid here" they need to listent to that. Sometimes personality clash, adult and kids too. Listen to your gut, no matter where you put your child.

Not all centers are good, not all homes are good. I started my home daycare because I didnt' want my kids to be a number at a center and I did not like the home daycares I had seen. In the 6 yrs I have been doing this I have had a total of 6 clients. I usually have them from infant to 4 yrs. I recommend that kids do go to a full preschool the yr before they start school, heck I send my own to one before they start school. Being a home provider is not a cake walk though, it's a hard job but everyday it's worth it when the kids show up happy to be here, big grins on their faces and ready to start the day. I just took back one little boy I had had from 12 weeks to 2 yrs. His parents wanted to try him in a commerical preschool. He's been back here for one month and they couldn't be happier. He hated the other preschool and asked everyday for a year if he was really good could he come back to my house. I know the kids under my care are safe, happy, having fun, getting to be themselves and allowed to just be silly and do funny kid things. I love to surprise them with trips to the petting zoo and library. We do not just sit at home. Ok I will get off my soapbox now....lol

I hope your are not offended by anything out there, but not all home daycare are the same. Some of us really work hard to please the parents and the kids. Not an easy task sometimes...

Lori

 

[mom2my3kids]

I pay $200 week per child for relatively cheap "schoolagers" in Minnesota. All you in cheap daycare states should consider yourselves lucky.

I do have them in a "corporate" center - home daycare or a "small business/church" center would be cheaper. But I like the corporate center because I really haven't had to worry about them taking vacations, etc., and I don't want a church center since we practice a less common religion and I don't need my kids getting more confused than they are.

I think it depends on the income in the area that you live.

 

[freckles and boo]

There are definitely some excellent caregivers in homes so please don't read this as an indictment of all in-home childcare. However, I have to throw in my two cents in support of childcare centers for safety reasons. I reasonably expect that there are no guns stashed in closets at childcare centers. I reasonably expect that a young child won't find either legal or illicit drugs in a childcare center. There are no animals (dogs, cats, birds, ferrets) that could put a child at risk of bites, scratches, disease (although there is plenty of human disease to be found in a childcare center ). Kids are less likely to be exposed to inappropriate language, images, etc. in an environment that isn't also someone's home. There is back-up immediately available for a caregiver should he or she become sick, overwhelmed, stress-ed out, frustrated, angry, etc. State regulation (at least here in Illinois) mandates student:teacher ratios and reasonable training and education. It would take unbelievable trust and confidence in an individual before I would consider an in-home care situation.

 

[crisi]

My vacations are planned well in advance. I let my parents know 3-6 months before when I will be on vacation. In April 06 I had surgery, that was my 2 week vacation time, my parents knew in Nov 05 when I was having surgery. They also know that we are going to WDW in January, 7 months notice. I also have it written into my contract that they, the parents are responsible for back up care, no back up care, not my problem.

This is exactly what I mean by making your vacations my problem. I now need to find "backup" childcare, or schedule my vacation to match yours. With a center, they are open pretty much every day (closed Memorial Day, Christmas, 4th, etc - but I get those days off as well). This is non negotiable - in fact, of all the issues I have with home daycare, the fact that you go on vacation (and deserve to!) was the biggest reason we chose a center. I don't want to take my vacations on your schedule and backup childcare for a week is not easy to find. With a center, if a staff person goes on vacation, the staff ratio is moved around, another person is brought in from another center. I've never had to worry about someone else's vacation.

Same with sick leave. I appreciate that you'd call me the night before. Now, what am I supposed to do? I have to be at work the next day. My mother in law can't watch my kids, my mother isn't available. I can't take time off work because YOU are sick. I don't want to make that my problem.

I really think most home daycare providers do their best, unfortunately, they can't provide what I need - daily care, only exception is major holidays, Monday - Friday, no sick leave. I have some risk with a center (my son's elementary school flooded last year due to a pipe breaking, leaving us with three days of sudden leave - we brought him back to the daycare, but had it been the daycare, we'd have had a scramble) - but its building risk (same as you have at home), not staffing risk - or not significant staffing risk - I suppose its possible that the staff could all quit at once or the center shut its doors. I've had my kids in the same center for eight years - and I haven't had to have them home once because of lack of daycare.

I'm actually lucky now. My current job is far more flexible - I can work from home when I want. And my kids are older, so at this point they need me only in emergencies (and if they want to use the stove) - childcare isn't the urgent situation it once was. But when my kids were babies, neither my husband and were in a situation with our jobs to miss any more than we already did for our own sick leave and the kids ear infections, illnesses, and doctors appointments.

 

[TinkerbellMama]

I'm in Michigan. FUll time toddler rate is about 130/week in a center.

I highly reccommend a center and wouldn't even CONSIDER putting my child in a home. Centers have trained, certified lead teachers and administrators...home daycares are generally other moms. They are cheaper though, but...watch out- you get what you pay for.

LOL, this is exactly why I would NEVER put my child in a center. I would go with a stay-at-home mom if I absolutely had to use some type of child care services. IMO, other moms whom I know to be dedicated, loving parents are always better than a well-educated but possibly not as "motherly" daycare teacher. JMO!

 

[mommiepoppins]

in ny a center would be 120 a family day care( i do) would be 100 or less maybe 85

 

[mommiepoppins]

I'm in Michigan. FUll time toddler rate is about 130/week in a center.

I highly reccommend a center and wouldn't even CONSIDER putting my child in a home. Centers have trained, certified lead teachers and administrators...home daycares are generally other moms. They are cheaper though, but...watch out- you get what you pay for.

just so you know the staff in a day care center are just trained by the head teacher. I do NYS certified Day care in my home and I have gone for 30 hours of traning and back ground checks and I am a mom of 4. If I put my child in a "center they have to have the same traning as family" I am also did send my dd 3 to a pre school in a "center" and the teachers we great however they were about 20 years old with out children. They might have the education but what about years of experence!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[jodifla]

This is exactly what I mean by making your vacations my problem. I now need to find "backup" childcare, or schedule my vacation to match yours. With a center, they are open pretty much every day (closed Memorial Day, Christmas, 4th, etc - but I get those days off as well). This is non negotiable - in fact, of all the issues I have with home daycare, the fact that you go on vacation (and deserve to!) was the biggest reason we chose a center. I don't want to take my vacations on your schedule and backup childcare for a week is not easy to find. With a center, if a staff person goes on vacation, the staff ratio is moved around, another person is brought in from another center. I've never had to worry about someone else's vacation.

Same with sick leave. I appreciate that you'd call me the night before. Now, what am I supposed to do? I have to be at work the next day. My mother in law can't watch my kids, my mother isn't available. I can't take time off work because YOU are sick. I don't want to make that my problem.

I really think most home daycare providers do their best, unfortunately, they can't provide what I need - daily care, only exception is major holidays, Monday - Friday, no sick leave. I have some risk with a center (my son's elementary school flooded last year due to a pipe breaking, leaving us with three days of sudden leave - we brought him back to the daycare, but had it been the daycare, we'd have had a scramble) - but its building risk (same as you have at home), not staffing risk - or not significant staffing risk - I suppose its possible that the staff could all quit at once or the center shut its doors. I've had my kids in the same center for eight years - and I haven't had to have them home once because of lack of daycare.

I'm actually lucky now. My current job is far more flexible - I can work from home when I want. And my kids are older, so at this point they need me only in emergencies (and if they want to use the stove) - childcare isn't the urgent situation it once was. But when my kids were babies, neither my husband and were in a situation with our jobs to miss any more than we already did for our own sick leave and the kids ear infections, illnesses, and doctors appointments.

This is exactly what I was thinking! Home day care leaves parents MUCH more vulnerable, because they depend upon one person. Just like OP's situation, where her one provider was sidelined, the same can happen with home daycare.

 

[WDWorBUST]

I did not mean for this to become a "Home" versus "Center" debate. To update my situation - I picked Sammi up at noon yesterday and she was crying - because they were making her lay down for a nap I know the adjustment will be hard on her because she is so catered to staying with my mom. But she wanted to go back today which made it much easier on me to take her. I was originally going to pick her up at 3pm today after her nap time but decided not to because after nap time they play outside for 30-45 minutes (depends on how hot it is) and that's the part she loved about yesterday. So I know nap time will be hard on her - but she will get used to it.

I did read all the home vs center posts and I will add that I think we all need to find what is best for our family. For some that's a home environment and for others it's a center. And there were some very good points made on why one was better than the other one for each poster. One thing no one else mentioned about a home center that I was concerned about is that usually in a home environment the teacher is watching his/her own children too - and we all know our own children come first. I know if it was me dd would come first....and that's not fair to the other children. I'm not saying I would mistreat any other children...but dd's needs would definitely come first. Maybe people who do it all the time are immune to that but I don't see how.

Anyway - Sammi's in daycare and so far so good. We'll see how today ends up.

 

[KristinU]

WDWor Bust - I'm happy to hear Sammi had a good day - hopefully her naps will get better shortly...that outside play time is a great incentive! I know my DS loves the outside time at his center.

You brought up a point about in-home daycare that I was about to bring up too - that if I were looking for an in-home provider one of the criteria for me would be that the provider not have small children of their own at home. As a mom, I know that my DS always comes first in my heart and I would not and could not ask anything less from any other mom.

 

[sameyeyam]

Always mention to your trusted friends/neighbors that you are looking for daycare, ask if they know anyone. I did this when my children were younger and found out that one of my neighbors that I asked was actually interested in providing daycare for my kids.

She had two children the same age as my kids and you can't believe how great it was to walk out of my house each morning, open the gate between our yards and the kids were at daycare! She continued to watch my children for several years.

Now I am lucky, my 14yo DD watches her 7yo brother. I pay her the same amount that I would pay for a daycare provider. It works out great, then she has her own spending money, not to mention that having her 7yo brother (who tells me everything) keeps her from getting in trouble during summer vacation also! She took the Red Cross babysitting certification class, as well as first aid and has become the best babysitter we have ever had.

 

[kkevcamsmom]

This is exactly what I mean by making your vacations my problem. I now need to find "backup" childcare, or schedule my vacation to match yours. With a center, they are open pretty much every day (closed Memorial Day, Christmas, 4th, etc - but I get those days off as well). This is non negotiable - in fact, of all the issues I have with home daycare, the fact that you go on vacation (and deserve to!) was the biggest reason we chose a center. I don't want to take my vacations on your schedule and backup childcare for a week is not easy to find. With a center, if a staff person goes on vacation, the staff ratio is moved around, another person is brought in from another center. I've never had to worry about someone else's vacation.

Same with sick leave. I appreciate that you'd call me the night before. Now, what am I supposed to do? I have to be at work the next day. My mother in law can't watch my kids, my mother isn't available. I can't take time off work because YOU are sick. I don't want to make that my problem.

I really think most home daycare providers do their best, unfortunately, they can't provide what I need - daily care, only exception is major holidays, Monday - Friday, no sick leave. I have some risk with a center (my son's elementary school flooded last year due to a pipe breaking, leaving us with three days of sudden leave - we brought him back to the daycare, but had it been the daycare, we'd have had a scramble) - but its building risk (same as you have at home), not staffing risk - or not significant staffing risk - I suppose its possible that the staff could all quit at once or the center shut its doors. I've had my kids in the same center for eight years - and I haven't had to have them home once because of lack of daycare.

I'm actually lucky now. My current job is far more flexible - I can work from home when I want. And my kids are older, so at this point they need me only in emergencies (and if they want to use the stove) - childcare isn't the urgent situation it once was. But when my kids were babies, neither my husband and were in a situation with our jobs to miss any more than we already did for our own sick leave and the kids ear infections, illnesses, and doctors appointments.

Your points are well taken.

I can understand why some choose a center. It is easier for the reasons you stated and to be honest if I had to stop doing daycare and put my own kids in one, it would be a center. Why??? For the same reasons you stated.... aaahhh my life the oxy moron...lol

Lori

 

[tinker&belle]

just so you know the staff in a day care center are just trained by the head teacher. I do NYS certified Day care in my home and I have gone for 30 hours of traning and back ground checks and I am a mom of 4. If I put my child in a "center they have to have the same traning as family" I am also did send my dd 3 to a pre school in a "center" and the teachers we great however they were about 20 years old with out children. They might have the education but what about years of experence!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm sorry I have to respond to this.
I have worked in 2 centers in my career, one had teachers with experience and little education (they were trying to hire more educated teachers when they hired me) and a center that requires a bachelors degree for both lead teachers in the classroom. The level of professionalism for educated teachers is much higher. (BTW I'm sure there are professional less educated teachers out there, but in my experience it tends to go hand in hand). As far as a teacher who is in their 20s with out children...I will say I think generally being a mom tends to help the teachers I have known in the compassion level for children, I don't think that having a child would make for a good teacher. I think that there are many qualities in designing a classroom for young children that less educated caregivers may not be aware to look for or think about.