David Letterman's confession tonight..

[NY Disney fan]

I'm fortunate that I haven't been cheated on (that I know of), but I thought affair meant some kind of emotional involvement. A prostitute, or staff members on one night stands, I think of as cheating without an affair.

Either way, I'd be heartbroken if my DH did this to me.

But if it was just sex (no emotions) would it be ok with you?

 

[TDC Nala]

An unmarried person messing around isn't violating any vows or a contract. That increases the stigma. Can't believe anybody would think an unmarried guy messing with consenting adult females is blackmail material, although depending on what the understanding is between the SOs it's a lousy thing to do.

 

[NY Disney fan]

Sure, cheating on your significant other is sleazy but he isn't my significant other so whatever.

He isn't mine either but when I hear about someone being unfaithful to their partner it bothers me because I feel sorry for the betayed partner. I don't know their level of committment was but I still feel bad.

 

[NY Disney fan]

An unmarried person messing around isn't violating any vows or a contract.

On "paper" I agree with you. That is what my therapist told me when my boyfriend (who eventually became my husband) cheated on me while we were dating. I didn't know about it (he hid it from me). I ended up marrying him thinking he was my golden boy. After the divorce the therapist said, that because I wasnt' married to him at the time, it didn't "count".

 

[Aisling]

But if it was just sex (no emotions) would it be ok with you?

Oh no, not at all! I'd be crushed!

The only difference is that I'd be saying "that dirty cheating @#$%^& had sex with other women" instead of "that dirty cheating @#$%^& had an affair". I'm just a stickler for using the correct word, not that it matters on how crappy it is.

BUT (uh oh, I hope I'm not hanging myself now), I think a marriage has a better chance of being saved if it was just casual, non-emotional sex than if it were an affair. I remember Gov Sanford said his affair-partner was his soul mate...how can a wife fight that, or even want to?

 

[NY Disney fan]

BUT (uh oh, I hope I'm not hanging myself now), I think a marriage has a better chance of being saved if it was just casual, non-emotional sex than if it were an affair. I remember Gov Sanford said his affair-partner was his soul mate...how can a wife fight that, or even want to?

Yes, I agree.

 

[JessicaR]

Was it disclosed if these 'affairs' took place prior to him getting married? I did wonder if he stated 'when' this went on. I'm speculating since they have been together for over 20 years that a marriage license didn't change anything. I also think she is aware of his infidelities. They could have an agreement for all we know.

Not for me to judge and like many have said before, he isnt a role model that I was trying to emulate. It doesnt surprise me, there have been many before him and plenty after that will mimic this behavior.

I do wonder how many women just cause I'm curious. I read that one of the guys on the show said his sleeping with staffers was a known fact and he was surprised it took this long for it to be revealed. Who knows if thats true.

 

[NY Disney fan]

Was it disclosed if these 'affairs' took place prior to him getting married?

The newspapers said the affairs took place before their son was born (his son is now 5). But I don't know the timeline either. He married his girlfriend (mother of his child) in March 2009.

 

[OhMari]

This is the woman he had the relationship with, his assistant who appeared quite often on the show, Stephanie Birkitt. She is the girlfriend of the extortionist, Robert "Joe" Halderman. He is a longtime producer on 48 hours. They had recently split up and he retaliated by going after Letterman.

http://www.tmz.com/videos?autoplay=true&mediaKey=287debe2-202e-4b3f-be87-548bcd178384



Hope that link works.

Me and my dh watched the show last evening, and we both said, it had to be Stephanie. She used to be this smiling, happy go lucky girl, when she interned. Then she almost became a regular, like Biff, the Hello Deli guy. The last couple of months that Stephanie was on, she used to act, really snobbish, telling Dave off, etc. We always wondered if it was an act? or how did she get away with it. Soon, after a few of those shows, she wasn't on anymore.

Also, Dave didn't do the announcement during his monolog, he did it sitting at his desk. For once Paul wasn't making stupid sounds or saying anything. The audience was supportive of Dave, but I don't think they knew what he was talking about, and when he finally got around to saying his admission to having sex with co-workers, the audience became very quiet. At the end of the talk, he said, he would never discuss it again. But then cracked a joke and talked like a little old lady, he said, "Oh My Gosh, David Letterman had sex." and this made the audience laugh and clap for him again.

 

[RadioNate]

Was it disclosed if these 'affairs' took place prior to him getting married? I did wonder if he stated 'when' this went on. I'm speculating since they have been together for over 20 years that a marriage license didn't change anything. I also think she is aware of his infidelities. They could have an agreement for all we know.

Not for me to judge and like many have said before, he isnt a role model that I was trying to emulate. It doesnt surprise me, there have been many before him and plenty after that will mimic this behavior.

I do wonder how many women just cause I'm curious. I read that one of the guys on the show said his sleeping with staffers was a known fact and he was surprised it took this long for it to be revealed. Who knows if thats true.

Well the woman at the center of the affair charge is Stephanie Birkitt who up until recently lived with the accused blackmailer. It is being widely reported that their relationship ended prior to his son being born in 2003.

Now, on his show he said "women" implying more than one. It can be viewed on YouTube.

He only married this past March so I would assume (I know, I know) that the bulk of any 'relations' would have been before marriage just due to time limitations. KWIM. However, he has been with his now wife for 23 years. We don't know what she knows or when she knew it.

ETA - Stephanie Birkitt is still employed by The Late Show

 

[bimshire]

What's the criteria for a comedian or a sports player becoming a role model? It looks like people just automatically feel that this happens.

Dave is a stand up guy (pun intended) who rebutted the extortionist as opposed to Sen. Ensign from Arizona who got his parents to pay the family$96,000 and also got the husband a job lobbying his office.

 

[diznygirl]

Considering we don't know anything about his relationship with his current wife, I don't see how we can judge one way or the other. Of course, we should also not be judging, but hey, it's the DIS....

His relationship could have been on again/off again until he finally decided to marry her. Who knows? Meanwhile, the guy who tried to blackmail him is a real idiot to think any of this was worth any money.

 

[EMom]

The audience was kind of chuckling until Dave got to the part where he said the guy wanted TWO MILLION DOLLARS! That sobered them up. You could almost hear their brains thinking, "Oh crap! What did he do to make the guy think he could get $2 million out of him? I think this may be serious and not such a joke after all."

 

[KAMKIM]

So only married couples are worthy of respect? People who are dating/living together (and has kids) are considered "less than" compared to a married couple?

I totally agree. Once you make a commitment to be in a monogamous relationship with another adult you are essentially cheating on that person if you step outside of the relationship. Call it betrayal, affair, cheating - they are all the same in my eyes. Not only are you obviously putting your SO at risk for a STD but you are breaking a promise to be faithful. I dont care if you're married or not.

 

[Disney Doll]

I had relationships prior to being married to my wife. I'm not sure that these will ever come up in conversations with my daughter, but if they do, I don't see them as a big deal.

True. But he has been effectively "dating" his wife for many (I believe someone said since 1986), many years and this relationship occurred during their time of "dating" so there might be a bit of a "sticky wicket" explaining why you dated other women and Mommy at the same time.

And there might not be...time will tell...

 

[Disney Doll]

Dave L. dated his wife for 23 years before he married her this past March. So unless its ok to cheat on your significant other, its considered an affair. ARTICLE: http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20267488,00.html

It wouldn't be OK for ME to cheat on my SO nor would it be OK for my SO to cheat on me, because I value mongamy, but, their relationship rules may be different...

 

[Disney Doll]

Would sex with prostitutes be considered affairs? My point is, when he said he had sex with the women, I didn't think of it as "affairs" per se. I see it as cheating on your SO. My definition of affair may not be correct, but I thought it meant something ongoing, not just casual sex with this one and then that one.

I consider an "affair" more of an ongoing thing with emotional ties.
I consider sex with a prostitute sex.
Not that either would be acceptable in my relationship...

 

[Disney Doll]

BUT (uh oh, I hope I'm not hanging myself now), I think a marriage has a better chance of being saved if it was just casual, non-emotional sex than if it were an affair. I remember Gov Sanford said his affair-partner was his soul mate...how can a wife fight that, or even want to?

I would agree with you.
So I'll hang next to you.

 

[sbell111]

True. But he has been effectively "dating" his wife for many (I believe someone said since 1986), many years and this relationship occurred during their time of "dating" so there might be a bit of a "sticky wicket" explaining why you dated other women and Mommy at the same time.

And there might not be...time will tell...

"Well, Honey, do you know how Archie dated Betty at the same time as Veronica before he and Veronica decided to get married? It's like that."

 

[pansmermaidzlagoon]

Well the woman at the center of the affair charge is Stephanie Birkitt who up until recently lived with the accused blackmailer. It is being widely reported that their relationship ended prior to his son being born in 2003.

Now, on his show he said "women" implying more than one. It can be viewed on YouTube.

He only married this past March so I would assume (I know, I know) that the bulk of any 'relations' would have been before marriage just due to time limitations. KWIM. However, he has been with his now wife for 23 years. We don't know what she knows or when she knew it.

ETA - Stephanie Birkitt is still employed by The Late Show

I always wondered about that Stephanie! not surprised that it was her!